// happy 10 years of YouTube to the one and only cinnamon-roll/angel bean/ bun bun who is truly amazing.

Phil, I know it's your ten year YouTube video anniversary but your life is still going to fall apart in this book soz. //

dan

Dan wakes and screws up his nose when he gets the distinct smell of cat breath being projected onto his face.

He turns over subconsciously, only to become face-to-face with a mop of black hair. Dan sits straight up, startled to be in a different room, wearing different clothes but calms down when he sees a bright, blue and green duvet, a small kitten and the sleeping figure of Phil Lester.

Dan rubs his eyes, the grey sleeves of the fox-printed sweater Phil leant him slipping up his arms. Dan look back down at his pillow to see the kitten has woken and it stretches out before climbing over the duvet and onto Dan's lap.

Dan smiles down as he feels the weight momentarily not crash back down onto his shoulders. It's a nice feeling.

Dan picks up the kitten gently, his hands nearly the size of Winston, and places him on the bed beside Phil.

Dan stands up, deciding to stretch his legs a little and go to the bathroom. He closes Phil's bedroom door gently behind him and walks towards the end of the hall but as he passes a door, he hears muffled conversation. Dan pauses briefly.

"I can't keep doing this Ben," Phil's mother says with a sigh.

[i know that's not his brother's name okay. ]

"I know mum, you shouldn't have to. You'll get better though," Ben replies.

Dan freezes, feeling like he should move on but can't seem to move his legs.

"Phil cannot know Ben, we have to protect him."

"I know. Mum, there's something else, he's back in town. He's going to try to see you again. I already saw him. He wants custody."

"You leave that to me Ben."

"I can't, you know that."

"We're struggling already, I have enough without him trying to take you."

"It's not me you have to worry about mum, I'm nineteen, Phil's only seventeen."

"Oh god."

"Just promise me not to let him get Phil."

"I'll try Ben, but if he wants custody, I'm afraid that may be out of my hands, especially given everything."

Dan hears footsteps and runs back to Phil's room, but he knows that Ben caught a glimpse of him. Who needs the bathroom anyway? Dan lays back down next to Phil, who now has the kitten draped half across his black fringe that flops onto the pillow.

Dan closes his eyes, pretending to be asleep when he hears the door crack open.

"Oh, I didn't know Phil had someone over," his mother says.

"Me too, but look at him, he's the one with no mood," Ben says.

"Phil can be friends with whoever he wants. I hope everything will be okay," his mother sighs before shutting the door again and Dan's eyes open again.

His mind is racing. What is happening? Custody? Promise me not to let him get Phil?

What is happening inside these walls that Phil is so unaware of? Dan can't get back to sleep, he's too awake now.

The weight has crashed back down upon his shoulders, only this time it's more heavy than before.

And Dan is beginning to fragment further under the weight constantly pulling him down.

***

phil

When Phil wakes, he feels something furry and warm tickling his nose.

Phil  reaches up, pulling the kitten off his hair and sits up, looking to see Dan still asleep on the other side of the bed. Phil can't help but notice how pale and drained Dan looks, despite him being asleep.

His skin is so pale, dark smudges like charcoal stain beneath his eyes, his hair is slightly curled, his shoulder blades almost slice through his skin...

Phil slides out of bed, walking over and sitting at his desk. He pulls out a notebook and turns to an empty page, tapping his pen against the paper. As he heard somewhere, when all is failing, make a list.

Phil begins to write.

how to help dan:

•cheer him up
•show him everything's is okay
•prove he deserves to be here
•how him life is good
•spend time with him a lot
•make jokes
•Winston!!!

Phil pauses when he hears the rustle of sheets and a soft huff.

Phil decides to close his book and slots it into his shelf. He turns around and looks back over at Dan, who is beginning to wake up. Winston the kitten wakes first and stretches his tiny paws out, yawning before he nudges his head against Dan's.

Dan then wakes fully, blinking his eyes open and smiling at the small kitten and Phil feels his heart basically melt like chocolate in the sun. Dan looks over to see Phil and gives him the tiniest hint of a smile.

"Morning Dan," Phil says cheerily, "what do you want to do today?"

Dan looks at Phil strangely, as if he's seen a ghost. He looks slightly haunted and like he wants to say something, but his mind will not allow it.

"Uh, I-I d-don't know," Dan stammers, looking back down at Winston with a strange expression still on his features, "w-whatever is o-okay w-with you."

"Well, maybe we could go out somewhere," Phil suggests, but Dan doesn't look especially thrilled with that idea, "or we could just stay here if you want?"

"Y-yeah, i-if that's o-okay?" Dan says, looking back at Phil with pink tinted cheeks, "s-sorry if y-you wanted t-to go out."

"No it's okay! Whatever you want to do," Phil says cheerily with a smile and stands up, stretching, "well do you want some breakfast first?"

"Yeah t-that s-sounds g-good," Dan says, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and standing up.

"How about we make some pancakes?" Phil suggests, "I can show you how well hot pans and clumsiness go together."

"Y-yeah," Dan says, smiling but he still looks distracted by something.

Phil decides to ignore that and just focus on making Dan feel happy. He walks down the stairs, finding Ben passed out on the couch, the tv still on. Dan's gaze seems to linger on Ben, but then he just walks on and joins Phil in the kitchen.

Phil googles a recipe and finds the right utensils and ingredients, stacking them on the bench.

After a small flour war, stirring too violently, splattering batter everywhere, flipping the pancake in the pan and dropping a couple on the floor, they finally have a stack of arguably decent pancakes.

Dan looks quite happy while they sit eating pancakes, but it still is slightly weird to Phil seeing only a black line above Dan. He's used to seeing a bright icon above everyone's head.

But the fact that Dan only had a line still doesn't make Phil not like him. In a way, Phil believes that it makes Dan more interesting in a way. Instead of knowing someone's emotions, Phil has to decipher them from Dan's expressions and actions. In some ways, Phil thinks it could be better for moods not to exist.

"W-what are y-you thinking a-about?" Dan asks.

Phil swallows his mouthful of pancake and looks up to Dan.

"Not much really, my thoughts are just quite random," Phil says brightly, "what are you thinking about?"

"Everything," Dan says, pausing, "and n-nothing."

"So, what do you want to do after breakfast?" Phil asks, "what do you like to do in your own spare time?"

"Uh, s-sketch, or w-watch anime, o-or video g-games, or Y-YouTube," Dan says, blushing, "I-I'm a b-bit of a n-nerd. S-sorry."

"Stop saying sorry Dan!" Phil says with a laugh, "how about we play some video games?"

S-sure," Dan says, "b-but d-don't be t-too defeated when I-I win."

"Hey, I'm going to win this time," Phil says, smirking at Dan.

"D-dream on," Dan says.

"I will," Phil says.

Suddenly, Ben appears in the doorway, leaning against it with a groggy expression on his face.

"Hey lil bro," Ben says, glancing at Phil and then at Dan, "who's your friend?"

"This is Dan, Dan this is Ben, my brother," Phil says, looking between the two.

Dan is giving Ben a strange look, but he puts a smile on his face to mask his thoughts.

"H-hello," Dan says, giving a small wave.

"Hey, so that's what moodless looks like," Ben says, looking guilty after the words leave his mouth, "sorry, I didn't mean it like that. No hate."

"I-it's okay," Dan stammers.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Phil says, standing up and walking towards the doorway, "back in a minute."

After Phil finishes in the bathroom, he starts back towards the dining room but he pauses when he hears muffled conversation.

"Don't tell him, okay?" Ben says in a quiet voice.

"O-okay," Dan replies.

And suddenly, Phil has a million questions running through his head.

***************

an// hello! sorry it's a bit late and probably weird. I'm watching YouTube at the same time and it's distracting lol.

also, THANK YOU FOR 9.9K FOLLOWERS!!

please check out my teen fic book is there somewhere and feel free to message me! I love your messages ^_^

hope you're enjoying the book so far. what is wrong with Phil's family which he is unaware of? what did Ben say to Dan?

anyway, bye! ^_^