// I have a new story up called galaxies apart it's my first ever teen fiction story and I'm v excited! pls check it out (only if you want to)

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dan

Dan slams his fist into the wall of his bathroom.

Well, it isn't really a wall strictly speaking, more like an angry, unforgiving, cold mass of tile which seems to punch Dan's knuckles more than he punches the tile.

Dan curses under his breath, shaking his hand. That was a stupid idea - a very stupid idea - but it seemed to have helped him. Dan feels calmer now, more in control but his knuckles are throbbing now, quite painfully as well.

Dan looks down at his left hand and frowns when he sees the red skin stretching over the bone, broken over the knuckles and starting to bleed. All at once, his mind seems to go numb, his hand goes numb, and suddenly, he feels numb.

Dan freezes, staring down at his hand. He can't even feel his hand bleeding now. He just watched, transfixed as the beads of blood pool up on his skin before they over balance and slide down his hand, leaving a small trail of crimson.

Maybe Dan really can't feel anything now. It's a nice feeling though, he'd prefer that. It'd be better for Dan actually being emotionless instead of people just thinking he is. He'd never have to worry about anything ever again.

Dan looks sideways at himself in the mirror. He looks the same as he always does; the black clothes covering his body, his kinda-emo-but-not-really brown hair, his pale skin and the life ruining black line floating above his head.

But there's something different as well. When Dan looks into his own eyes in his reflection, he sees something else. He's always looked sad, lonely, lost - but never like this. Now, he just looks shattered internally, broken and just plain... Empty.

"Dan! Dinners ready!" His mother calls from downstairs, startling Dan out of his thoughts.

Dan drags his eyes away from his reflection and diverts his gaze back down to his hand. Oh shit. How's he going to hide this? At least it's growing colder so he can wear long sleeves - he always buys tops which give him sweater paws.

"Yeah I'll b-be down in a m-minute!" Dan calls back through the bathroom walls.

Dan quickly grabs a towel, wetting the end and cleaning the blood off his hand. Once the blood is gone, it isn't too bad; just a bit of split skin on his knuckles. He can hide that from his parents, they aren't that observant anyway.

"Dan, finally, dinner's going cold!" His mother scolds when Dan finally arrives, sitting in his usual place opposite them, "what were you doing?"

"I-uh, I f-felt sick," Dan stammers, looking down at the bowl of pasta in front of him.

"Goodness Dan, when will you stop that stuttering?" His father asks, shaking his head as he twirls pasta onto his fork.

"I c-can't help it," Dan says, his grip around his fork tightening as he looks down in shame, his cheeks reddening, "I-I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Dan's father says with a sigh, but Dan knows that tone all too well - the tone of as much as I want to love and accept you I wish you were normal so I could be proud of you.

"I-I feel s-sick, s-sorry," Dan stammers, stumbling to his feet, "c-can I be e-excused?"

"Yes Dan," his mother says with a heavy sigh, "get some rest if you feel sick."

Dan nods, basically bolting out of the dining room life there was a fire chasing behind him. He doesn't go to his room though, he goes to his brother's room. It's still so much like him - it feels like he could walk in at any second, like he's going to come back to it at any given moment.

Dan didn't lie, he does feel sick but not the kind that gets better with rest. The kind of sick which curls within you, the kind that your immune system can't fight. It's the kind of sick that you have to mentally fight, the kind that traps you.

No one would miss you now, his mind jeers, but it's right again. Now that his brother is gone, there's no one left to miss Dan anymore.

Dan collapsed onto the ground, curling up in a ball in the middle of his brothers room, sobbing his heart out until he eventually falls asleep, his heart now as empty as his mind.

***

At school, Dan's sleeves just cover the sores on his knuckles.

It's painful when the material rubs against the tender skin, but it's not like Dan has another option. He can take the pain.

Someone suddenly grabs the front of Dan's sweater, slamming his back against the brick wall of the science classrooms. Dan winces, his hands pressing against the cold brick, wishing that he could just sink right through it. No such luck though.

"Hey Howell," a voice sneers - Alfie - "since you can't feel emotions, can you still feel pain?"

"I don't think so," a new voice says, who Dan identifies as Chris, "I don't think he feels anything."

"Great," Alfie sniggers, facing Dan and drawing his fist back, "then this shouldn't hurt a bit Howell."

Dan lets out a soft groan of pain when Alfie's fist connects with his stomach. He doubles over, clutching his stomach, protecting it with his arms.

"You're such a freak, do us all a favour and disappear," Chris sneers, pushing Dan to the ground.

Dan doesn't bother trying to stand again. He's too busy trying to fill his lungs with air again after the punch winded him. He's gasping for air, each breath causing a ripple of pain in his gut.

"You don't belong here," Alfie says.

They walk off then, not wanting to get caught, not that anyone would really care anyway. Everyone chooses to turn a blind eye. Maybe they think Dan deserves it, that he purposely lacks a mood, that he's hiding something.

After five minutes, Dan staggers to his feet, walking slowly across the schoolyard towards the safety of his first class. Thy aren't stupid enough to bully him in front of teachers.

"Hey Dan!" A voice calls out suddenly and a hand catches his arm, spinning him around.

Dan winces in pain at the sudden movement before he comes face to face with bright blue eyes. It's Phil Lester again. Dan doesn't know whether he wants to cry of hidden happiness or annoyance or just cry in general because life sucks.

"W-what?" Dan stammers, biting his lip and looking at Phil with sad eyes, his gaze flickering to the small sun shining over Phil's head.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry if I made you feel bad," Phil says, fidgeting with his fingers, "and I think you do belong in this world."

"I-I already t-told you that I-I don't," Dan says with a sigh, looking down with shame, "I d-don't belong a-anywhere."

"You do, you wouldn't be here if you didn't belong Dan," Phil says, "feeling left out like you do, that's a mood. It shows that you do care, just like me and everyone else. You belong here just as much as everyone else Dan."

You obviously don't, everyone thinks you should just disappear, his mind sneers at him.

"Th-then w-why do I f-feel like k d-don't?" Dan asks with tear filled eyes.

"I don't know, people don't realise Dan but, please, I want to show you that you do belong," Phil says, offering him a warm smile.

"W-w-why?" Dan asks, frowning with confusion.

"Because I don't like seeing people sad, and... I think you deserve happiness just as much as everyone else," Phil says with a shrug, "especially after your brother."

And after those words leave Phil's mouth, Dan finds himself breaking down into tears in the middle of the school yard, sinking to the ground and sobbing.

He feels an arm slip around his shoulders. His brother used to do this at these times; hold him while he just cried.

But it's not his brother this time;

It's Phil Lester.

*****************

an// shorter chapter but aw Philly is so cute! I can't believe he's 29 where does time go? He's such a cute angel bean.

H

elp me bc school is already ew. But thanks so much for 1.5K followers!!

Anyway thanks so much for reading, please check out my new teen fic book and I hope you're enjoying the story so far! ^_^