// why would someone let me punch them - that would be painful af. //

dan

Dan is conflicted inside his mind.

He isn't sure what to do. Phil trusts him and he doesn't want to break that - that would be disastrous. However, if he did tell Phil, what would that achieve? What would he say?

Hey Phil, so when I was at your house I eavesdropped on your mum and brother's conversation. Your dad is back, I don't know what that means but he wants custody of you.

Dan isn't exactly sure what that would even accomplish, he knows to little to tell Phil about what he heard. He can't tell Phil because surely there would be a good reason his mother wouldn't tell him...

Dan sighs, running a hand through his hair. He really doesn't need this extra weight on his shoulders.

Dan then begins to have a breakdown right there in his room. He feels tears pick his eyes to the point that he can't see a things. He starts to feel the warm, salty tears roll down his cheeks and he begins to just throw things blindly until his room becomes a giant mess.

Then, Dan collapses to the floor, hugging his knees go his chest, and there, in that spot on the floor, Dan finally looses it.

He's crying to a point where he just can't stop. Everything's he's always pushed back, all the pain he's bottled up is now pouring out of him in tidal waves of tears. He cries until physically can't anymore, until all his energy has left him, until his whole body aches with sadness and until he just feels empty inside.

Dan isn't sure at what point he stops crying and what point sleep takes over his body, but either way, when he wakes up the next morning, he has absolutely no desire to get up and begin the day.

Then, there's a knock on his door, soft and hesitant; not how his parents usually knock. Dan doesn't move - whoever that was can just leave him to his misery; but they don't.

The door handle turns slowly before the door creaks open. Dan doesn't look up, he just stays in his position, curled up on the floor, a broken mess just like the room around him.

"Dan!" Phil Lester's voice tells out and footsteps rush beside Dan, "Dan wake up! Please don't be dead!"

Dan comes back to reality as Phil shakes his shoulders, letting out something mixed between a sob and a mumble. His eyes flicker open and when he sees Phil's wide, blue eyes filled with tears, something inside him breaks.

Dan looks down, not wanting to look at Phil like that anymore.

"Dan what's wrong? Are you okay?" Phil asks gently.

Dan opens his mouth to say yes, but before the word can leave his mouth, he breaks down into tears again, and Phil doesn't say anything, he just holds Dan.

And it's in Phil's arms when the final piece of Dan breaks.

Dan feels Phil shift his head, which was previously resting on top of Dan's own head. He feels Phil gasp sharply and Dan pulls away from his embrace to find his blue eyes fixated on the space above Dan.

"W-what? W-what i-is it Phil?" Dan asks, frowning at the boy in front of him, "i-is something w-wrong?"

"Y-your line, your mood..." Phil's voice trails off.

"What? W-what is i-it?" Dan asks, standing up and racing towards a mirror, Phil running after him.

"Your line - it's breaking apart," Phil says, and when Dan stops in front of a mirror and looks at his reflection, he isn't prepared for what he sees.

There's a horrendously broken boy staring back at him. His eyes are red and have black smudged underneath which contrasts with the deathly pale skin, there's stains of tears on his pink cheeks and he just has an overall look of hopelessness about him.

And there, above him, is a black line, as there always has been. Only this time, in the middle, the line seems to be slowly pixelating apart.

***

The line doesn't fix itself.

It's the morning after, Dan is meant to be going to school today, but as he stares into the mirror, he knows that his fragmenting line will only draw even more bullying and unwanted attention.

He managed to avoid his parents last night, but they'll see him this morning. They'll ask him why but he doesn't know why. Why, after so many years, has his mood decided to do this?

Dan sighs and walks slowly down the stairs inside his home. That's the thing with moods, they're nothing so you can't do anything to hide them. His parents don't look up at first when their son enters the room, so Dan just keeps his head down as he pours himself a small bowl of cereal, hoping his parents won't notice.

He's almost finished his bowl but then his mother looks up and he hears a gasp. Here we go, Dan thinks, inwardly grimacing.

"Daniel, what has happened to your... You-?" His mother stumbles and Dan looks away; his own mother can't even call it a mood.

"I-I don't kn-know," Dan mumbles, staring intently down at the remaining cereal in his bowl, which is growing soggier by the second.

"Surely you must know! It's breaking apart! What happened? Can't you fix it? This will only draw more attention!" His mother splutters out, looking disapprovingly at her son.

"I-I don't kn-know! I-it's not l-like I ever g-got a f-freaking guide o-on t-this!" Dan stutters, standing up and picking up his bowl and dumping it in the sink.

His mother opens her mouth to say more but his father places a hand on her arm.

"Leave him," he says quietly without so much as looking at Dan.

Dan takes that as an invitation to leave so he walks back upstairs and finishes getting ready for school. He doesn't say goodbye to his parents, he just walks out the front door, earphones in his ears and music playing loudly.

Dan tries to keep out of sight at school, disappearing around their corner of a classroom. He keep his music playing loudly as he hugs his knees to his chest and then leans his head on his knees. He wishes he never has to move from this spot, that he doesn't have to go into a classroom and have people stare at him, whisper about him. Honestly, Dan has had enough of being a freak.

Dan jumps slightly when his phone vibrates in his pocket. He moves his long legs out as he wrestles his phone out of his pocket. He unlocks his phone and reads the message.

Saint Phillip: where are you?

:Dan: I'm around their corner of our science classroom.

Dan locks his phone and slips it back into his pocket. A shadow suddenly falls over Dan and he looks up cautiously and is relieved to see that it's Phil. He almost does look like a saint with the golden glow of sunlight outlining his figure.

However that soon just becomes sunlight in Dan's eyes when Phil sits beside him. Dan quickly looks to Phil beside him instead of directly at the sun.

"Hi Dan," Phil says with a grin, his own small sun burning brightly above him, "how are you?"

"I-I'm g-great," Dan lies with a smile.

"Are you sure?" Phil asks with a frown, "do you know why your mood kind of broke?"

"N-no, I can't t-think of w-why," Dan says quietly.

"Did anything change that day, did you feel any different, did you change any aspect of your thoughts or emotions?" Phil asks but Dan shakes his head.

His mind is too anxious, overwhelmed and tired to think back.

The bell rings suddenly and Phil stands up, holding his hand out to Dan to help him up. Dan takes it and Phil helps him to his feet.

"What have we got first?" Phil asks Dan.

"Um, h-history I th-think," Dan replies, picking up his bag.

He walks with Phil to history, sitting at the very back so he'll be less noticeable, however that fails when Alfie sits in front of him and decides to notify the whole class. The teacher hasn't arrived yet.

"Howell, what happened to your line?" Alfie asks loudly, "it's breaking, just like you."

His remark earns sniggers and a 'shut up Alfie!' from Phil. But his remark makes Dan think. Maybe his mood is breaking along with him.

As class begins, Dan isn't listening. He's too far inside of his thoughts. What if his mood is like his mind. Yesterday, he finally broke down, he felt the last part of him shatter when he was with Phil, and that's when his mood broke.

So maybe his mood really does represent himself;

It's breaking along with Dan himself.

************

an// hello sorry it's been so long I apologise for the wait! But I'm on school holidays atm so I should be able to write ahead a bit!

thanks so much for 12.5 K followers! that's just KABSIXMAODH

I HAVE A CO-BOOK UP WITH wipedoutsigh it's called all the wrong places and you should read it and follow her she's cool.

I don't really have much else to say. Hope you're enjoying the sorry so far, I'll try to make it more thought out and planned than my other books.

thanks for reading ^_^