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XI: Mother

Sephiroth's mind delved back into the lifestream. He did not feel as satisfied as he thought he would upon torturing Hojo until his very final moments, but it was enough for him to feel pleasantly cleansed. Perhaps it would be hubris to wish for anything more than that.

He had all he wanted, exactly where he needed. Every day, the meteor crept closer and closer. Whatever remained of Hojo was rotting away, where none would remember him. The fools who were out to stop him were fighting a battle of futility. He had very few things left to do before he'd go to wait, in the centre of the planet, for the meteor to impact and give him everything.

In fact, there was only one.

He now knew where to find Lucrecia. He'd been a fool not to recognise it before, but... that strange warmth from before, when he'd been travelling the lifestream. The one he'd rejected.

It had been her.

Neither of them had realised it, but mother had attempted to reach out to son– and the son had cast her aside. He had no use, nor need, for this maternal love. He'd seek her out as a vengeful creation would against their arrogant creator. He was the consequences of her foolish decisions.

If only Doctor Gast was alive to face such a fate.

It did not take long for Sephiroth to uncover the truth of his mother in the lifestream's threads of distant memories. She'd sealed herself away in a desolate cavern where none would find her. Unable to take her own life after what she'd done, she instead chose eternal slumber encased in delicate crystals that sprouted from the rocks. She was in stasis, but she was alive. She'd had but one visitor, a man clad in red who'd softly spoken to inform her that her son was dead, believing it too cruel to confirm the visions of flame and death that had plagued her. For all those years, she'd clung to the idea of her son being alive despite what happened five years ago, but those thin strings of hope had been snapped by the man clad in red. When Sephiroth would find her, she'd wish his words had been true.

He crept out of the shadows as if he was formed by their very hands. Standing tall at the mouth of the cave, his eyes flickering with green light. How many years he'd spent, yearning for a real family– a real mother. How many years he'd spent, mulling over the word Jenova, and the fact that he was the reason that she'd– supposedly– died.

So much of his life had been a lie. But all of that was over. Shinra no longer had ties to their puppet. Sephiroth was free, and he knew he was going to do great things.

No more wasting time.

Sephiroth stepped into the cavern. As he made his way down the chamber, he glanced at the crystals sprouting along the path, like splinters of colour guiding him to she who considered herself his mother. The deeper he went, the more of them would appear, growing larger and larger. Some crunched beneath his boots like shards of glass, and he wondered if she would be able to hear his impending approach.

His pupils expanded slightly as they picked up on a glow at the end of the cave. Right in the centre, stretching tall above the others, was a huge crystal shimmering in blue light. He could see a feminine figure trapped within; her expression melancholic. The scene was almost serene, but Sephiroth would not let it remain so.

He glared at the face of the woman, heart filling with inconsolable hatred. Doctor Gast and Professor Hojo were a big part of why he existed– but why it had been him specifically , was because of her. Memories of the library and its torment filled his mind, the agony of why he existed at all drove him as he stretched out his hand and curled his fingers around the long blade he summoned.

"I am here now, mother."

Her eyes snapped open.

Behind the hardened glass, her mouth seemed to drop. Sephiroth could not tell if the look in her wide, soft brown eyes were frightful, shocked, heartbroken, or somewhere in between. Her heartbeat, initially faint and slow, was beginning to speed up. There was no smell of fear, but Sephiroth assumed it to be suppressed by the crystal encasing her.

Before another beat could pass, he struck the sword into the rock with superhuman precision. All it took was a single tap, and spiderwebs of white crackled across the shimmering surface. The crystal fell apart like fragile glass, and among the pieces, Lucrecia collapsed to the ground. She fell on all fours, coughing and hacking violently. Red pinpricks appeared across her hands as small splinters pierced her skin.

"Sephiroth?" she looked up. "Is this a dream? Is my mind tormenting me once more?"

He stared at her coldly, not an emotion on his face. But hers crumpled into one of despair. She hid her face in her hands, sobbing wretchedly. As she wailed and wept, Sephiroth was but a detached observer. He wondered if he was supposed to feel something, if perhaps he did but had grown so distant that he could no longer identify his own emotions. Either way, he reminded himself, emotional vulnerability was a sign of weakness– something better left suppressed than addressed.

"My child," she whimpered, propping up one of her legs. She arose to stand, stumbling as if she'd never used them before. "My son."

Opening up her arms, she staggered towards him. But Sephiroth quickly aimed the Masamune's tip at her side, his eyes narrowing with warning. Lucrecia watched in disbelief, her watery eyes drooping as she slowed to a stop.

" He told me you were dead," she whispered. "I'd always clung to the hope that you were alive, regardless of who you'd become. And now, here you are, my dear child, standing before me and breaking that terrible lie with your mere presence."

She smiled sadly at him, reaching out (though not daring to move from her spot). Sephiroth's expression did not change, though he noticed the smallest pang in his heart at how she referred to him. He could see, in her eyes, that her affection for him was genuine. But humans were all terrible, disgusting creatures that had made his entire life a lie. He could not allow himself to be clouded by foolish, impulsive wants.

"Please, Sephiroth, I need to know that you are real. That my mind's not tricking me. Please, my son– let me embrace you."

How pathetically desperate, Sephiroth thought, trying to drown the more vulnerable ruminations that tainted him. His lips parted as he released a low, ominous laugh. Would she be able to see it? The hesitation in his eyes? He covered his face, cackling into his hands as strands of silver fell past his shoulders.

"You shall not touch me," he growled through his fingers, a single green eye peering past them to look through his 'mother'. "You've no right."

Lucrecia froze. Yet not a sliver of fear seemed to waft from her form. And the way she looked upon him; there was no hatred, no horror, not even a hint of disgust at the violent, terrible actions that he'd wrought upon the human race. In her eyes was a warmth that was completely alien to him.

"You look just as you did," she smiled. "In the visions I used to have of you, decades ago. They'd fill me with such dread– especially your eyes, and the rage they burned with. But no more do they unsettle me– no more do I fear you, my dear child."

"You will learn to fear me again, once more," Sephiroth lowered his hands, a soft growl in his tone.

But Lucrecia shook her head.

"No matter what you do, I shall not be afraid. Not of you. Whatever you choose to do to me, I shall hold no blame against you. What I have done– it is unforgiveable."

"Indeed," Sephiroth forced himself to smirk. "Your actions– as well as the ones of those fools – have doomed the entire planet. You should have never created me."

"It doesn't matter to me what happens. You are my son, Sephiroth. Your rage, your anger, your hatred against all– I accept it. I know I deserve it, and I do not blame you for directing it against all in your path."

She sobbed.

"This is all my fault."

Sephiroth only watched. He kept his mask of a leering grin. It was more complex than it being merely her fault. It was the fault of humanity, their arrogance and greed and delusional belief that they could control and use that which was extraordinary. He was the twisted finale of their hubris, the one destined to end their folly with finality.

"I know it means nothing, but from the bottom of my heart– Sephiroth. I am sorry."

She brought herself to look him in the eye. He remained responseless.

"You're sorry," he echoed, chuckling lightly. "I was lied to my entire life. Used, like I was nil more than a machine. Forced to become a tool of violence and death when I had been but a mere child. You could have– no, you should have– come to set me free, if you'd cared at all. But no– you chose to rot here, away from your sins, in the comfort of your own isolation, and you abandoned me to be at the mercy of Hojo . You can imagine he did not have much of that."

"I was helpless–" Lucrecia started, but Sephiroth raised his sword to her throat to silence her.

"You have no excuse. You do not know me. You do not know the things I have seen, the things I have learned, the things I have done . Whatever deceptive delusion you have in your mind of me, of how I'd come running into your arms after this pathetic excuse for an apology– you have been dangerously wrong, Lucrecia. But is that not to be expected of you?"

Her breath hitched; this seemed to have hit a soft spot. Sephiroth smiled, this time with a genuine twinkle in his eyes.

"I have not come here to reunite with you. You are not my mother, Lucrecia– you are simply another of my creators. Nothing more than that."

"You have come to kill me?"

Sephiroth nodded. Even with that confirmation, he was still unable to pick up on any hints of fear from the woman.

"You are the last of my creators who shall die."

"Hojo, he–" the woman pressed her lips together. It was clear that, whatever she felt towards that pathetic man, there was still some part of her that clung to their pasts. It only served to anger Sephiroth even more. She opened her mouth as if she wished to comment on this, but wisely took a moment to pause and think.

"I wish for nothing more than atonement," Lucrecia kneeled before Sephiroth. "For all the failures I have committed as a mother. I have no right to the mercy of death, my son. Let me live, and I shall do all in my power to make things right."

"A world in which you make things right is a world in which I do not exist."

"Not if I do so as a mother!"

"You're only trying to extend your miserable life."

Sephiroth purposefully flicked up his blade, a stark reminder of its presence and its hunger. Lucrecia carefully eyed it from the side like it was a snarling canine yearning for her flesh, then returned her woeful gaze back to him.

"Is that the only way you may find satisfaction?" she spoke gently. "The only way for you to be at peace, my son?"

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed into slits almost as thin as his pupils. He wanted nothing more than to hear her scream, expulsing her so-called 'unconditional love' in favour of what she, undoubtedly, truly felt for him- fear, and hatred. He did not want to believe that, all this time, as he was rotting away in those labs and tainting his hands with blood he'd initially not wished to spill, there had been someone out there who truly loved him– and he'd not even known of their existence. As he'd wept over his first kill, stood amongst lifeless corpses in the aftermath of battle, flinched from Hojo's terrifying tantrums, bonded with who he'd believed to be his one true friend, broke down then put the pieces back together at the Nibelheim mansion and burned down a village in uncontrollable, remorseless rage... all that time. Every single moment. There had been someone out there who'd loved him.

(((But not enough to help him.)))

"All will become one with me," Sephiroth muttered, his smirk becoming a glare. "I've no need for your love."

He spat out that last word as if it was made of poison.

"I am greater. I am more. I will cast the wretched circumstances of my birth into the abyss, and ascend into something beyond anything you could ever hope to comprehend. No more shall I be a mere weapon, or experiment borne from your arrogance– I shall be a God."

"I see your anger," Lucrecia spoke. Her hands twitched as if she was still desperate to reach out to him, as if doing so would offer him consolation.

"I see your hatred. And I only have myself to blame for it. But, regardless of what you've done, or what you choose to do in the future– I shall never regret you , Sephiroth. My one regret that I do have is not being there for you. My son, you must remember– my love is undying. No matter what."

"Enough of this," Sephiroth muttered, aiming his Masamune. His eyes had twitched as she spoke; no more could he bear to hear her words. He would not let her fill his head with such silly little lies. He'd been lied to more than enough times.

He'd put his trust in people before. Believing that people like Doctor Gast and Zack had been true to him.

Never again.

Lucrecia only had a moment to process what was happening. Her eyes widened. Her jaw dropped, but whether she was going to beg for mercy or scream in shock, it mattered not. Sephiroth drove the Masamune right through her heart, leaning close to allow the full length of the massive blade to rend through her soft flesh.

Her gasp was barely audible, like a whisper of defeat. Shimmering tears filled her eyes, trickling down to join the shards of broken crystals that surrounded them. Sephiroth's vision was untainted by such weakness, yet his eyes felt like they were burning. And his heart, it was as if– no. No, it did not matter at all. He had to focus on ending this, and on the destiny that awaited him– a destiny that he had crafted with his own hands.

No more love, hatred, joy or pain. There would only be him.

A warmth to his cheek prompted him to return to reality. He watched, expressionless, as Lucrecia leaned forward with a pained groan– the Masamune's blade further tearing into organs and flesh– with her trembling, bloodied hand pressing against Sephiroth's cheek. Some part of him, a small, useless instinct almost compelled him to lean into the touch, one so warm and inviting that only a mother could offer. But he steeled himself, hardening his eyes and not letting even the smallest sign of his inner conflict show on his face. She sobbed, yet her hand remained yet by the side of his face, smearing it with her own blood.

Lucrecia's eyes were tender with maternal love and sorrow, even as the light of her life faded from them. Her hand fell limp to her side, body slumping forth with the weight of death. Sephiroth tore the Masamune from her chest, idly watching the spurt of blood that followed. Her corpse fell to his feet, cold and lifeless.

He stepped back. The silver abomination released a sigh he'd not even realised he'd been holding in. It was over now; he'd not have to fret over this any longer. He averted his gaze from the sight of his 'mother's' corpse, and turned to look at the cave's exit, threads of light filtering in.

There are more important things to attend to, he thought to himself. His grip tightened around his sword's hilt as he pushed away any thoughts of hesitation over what he'd done. She was one of his creators, so she had to die by his hand. Whatever her feelings were, whatever she could have given him– why did it matter at all? All those things were fleeting.

He would be eternal.  

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