Doctor Gast had seen the results. Jenova was no Cetra. In fact, she was what had brought about the end of their race. A monstrous being that fell from the stars, a genetic horror that twisted and defaced all she touched, mimicking their flesh (which was why the initial test results showed her to be one of the Ancients). He could no longer bear to look at Sephiroth the same way. The boy was not some fated saviour, nor one who could ever hope to commune with the planet.

He was an abomination who only existed because of his, Hojo's, and Lucrecia's arrogance.

He was a failed experiment.

There was little else offered by the Shinra company to give him reason to stay. And so, with the one true Cetra he had discovered– an intelligent woman named Ifalna, who had so much to share and was the one who informed him of Jenova's true nature– he had escaped the company's clutches to continue his own research in his own way, far away from the remnant of his terrible mistake.

It had been three months since Doctor Gast had left.

Sephiroth didn't understand why. His disappearance hadn't been too long since the incident with the child, but... surely, it couldn't be that? Doctor Gast had been his usual self for a week or so after. But on the last day of Sephiroth seeing him, it seemed as if something was bothering him. There was a melancholy in his eyes, borne from a revelation Sephiroth knew not of.

He'd apologised to him. Sephiroth didn't understand why, but he'd knelt and murmured the words 'I'm sorry' before quickly rushing out the lab. That was the last time he'd seen him. When Professor Hojo had told him, a few days later, that Doctor Gast was gone, and snapped at any question Sephiroth posed of why, the boy could only hold back his tears until he was back in the privacy of his room.

He couldn't help but weep every time he was here. He was curled up on his bed once more, looking down at a thick textbook of planetology. He could still remember the day Doctor Gast had gifted him these books, used in his education and one of the few things that decorated his room. It was a cold, empty place, with metal walls and a single drab window.

He wiped at his eyes. The tests had only grown more common now that the doctor was gone, and Professor Hojo had full reign over all that would happen to him. They were no longer involving any 'voices' he was supposed to hear, but rather, they were assessments based upon his physical capabilities.

There was no more warmth in his life, the Doctor was no longer there to comfort him, to be there for him, to protect him from Hojo's bitter words and short temper. The fact that he was never told why the Doctor left only made it worse.

It was only in the privacy of his room, now, that he ever dared to weep.

The door creaked open.

"Sephiroth."

The boy did not look up. He quickly wiped at his face to smother away his tears, though he knew it would be futile– the redness of his eyes betrayed what he'd been doing. But he cared little for that now.

"I don't want to do more tests," he spoke slowly, controlling his voice so it would not dare waver.

"Boy," Professor Hojo hissed, and Sephiroth flinched. His eyes remained on the book, don't look up, don't look at him . His heart was still yearning for the doctor to return, to teach him and talk to him and protect him from the ever-irritable Professor Hojo. Why had he just left him like that, abandoning him to remain imprisoned in these uncaring labs? Why hadn't he taken the boy with him, wherever he'd gone?

Sephiroth waited for some inevitable repercussion for his incompliance; it mostly materialised through verbal means, but Hojo did not shy away from the occasional physical rebuke. With every passing moment, his muscles grew more tense– but nothing seemed to come of his refusal. When he looked up, Hojo was giving him a shark-toothed grin.

"I have a little surprise for you."

Though his body was still strained, Sephiroth's head tilted. He was still afraid of the professor, but whenever Doctor Gast had said this to him, it always meant he'd get something nice.

But this was Professor Hojo.

"Come, my boy," Hojo reached out with a hand, beckoning him to come closer. "You'll like it, I have no doubt."

Could it really be that he was being honest? Sephiroth did not have much choice but to obey the professor, taking his hand and being led through long corridors and taking the lift down to the labs. He pondered what this 'surprise' was going to be. Hojo did seem different in his demeanour today, carrying a sense of elation Sephiroth did not quite understand.

"Today is going to be a very special day, my boy," he cackled. "Very special indeed."

He ushered the boy into a grey-walled room. It was of moderate size, with bright lights shining down into the centre. Sephiroth had always hated this room; it was where much of his testing would take place: but it was suspiciously empty, save for some scientists watching from the corners with clipboards and pens in hand, and a small container near a wall, shrouded in darkness.

"Doctor Gast had believed you to be special, my boy," Hojo pushed Sephiroth into the centre of the room. "And I believe so too. However, I think he and I had very different ideas on why you're so unique."

The professor's grin was sickeningly wide, and Sephiroth knew not what to think. He could sense some small being within the container, feeling their faint, fast heartbeat. Hojo reached inside, picked the being up, and walked back to Sephiroth.

"Hold out your hand," the scientist ordered, and though Sephiroth felt quite hesitant, he was quick to obey Hojo's demand.

He could feel a soft warmth placed upon his palm, light in weight and... moving...?

In his palm was a round ball of white fur. For a moment, he wondered if this was some strange creature concocted by Hojo's frivolous activities; he'd heard rumours of the scientist's habit of creating abominations from both natural creatures and mutant monsters. But the presence of a small twitching nose, two curious eyes, sensitive whiskers and a slim tail betrayed the being's species– she was a mouse.

As he watched her sniffing him, he realised there was not a drop of fear that he could sense from her. She'd blink, and her thin tail would wave around as she'd balance herself upon his hand, looking around with a pure curiosity so unlike the cold scientists that only cared for his test results, and cruel children that had provoked him and made fun of his appearance.

"Is she the surprise?" Sephiroth spoke. He could feel the smallest of smiles tug at the corners of his lips. It would be nice, to have a creature like her as a companion. He chuckled as she carefully nibbled at his skin, trying to groom him.

"She's so cute."

Sephiroth did not notice the way Doctor Hojo's expression darkened as he stroked the creature, her fur softer than he'd thought it would be.

"Do I get to name her?"

"Oh, dear boy," Professor Hojo tilted his head a bit too far, like a mannequin with a snapped neck. His lips were pulled back into what looked more like a snarl than a smile. "I believe you've severely misunderstood the situation."

The silver-haired child did not respond. He kept looking at the mouse, scratching around her ears and not paying much attention to Hojo's presence.

"You are strong, boy," the scientist's voice still managed to slither into his ears. "Strong in ways most unexpected. Shinra has demanded that you be tested and trained in a different manner, so that this strength shall be better utilised."

The scientist leaned close to the child's ear. Sephiroth felt his spine tingle with a sudden sense of dread.

"Kill it."

Sephiroth's brow furrowed. Had he somehow misheard Hojo?

"You heard me, my boy," the scientist spoke, as if he could see the confusion forming on Sephiroth's face. "Kill it."

"B-but–" Sephiroth stammered, his gaze switching from Hojo to the mouse. He blinked in disbelief, his free hand protectively curling around the mouse as if to protect her from the scientist ordering her death.

"What do you mean?"

"Exactly what you hear," Hojo began to move like a hyena watching injured prey from the cover of darkness, circling Sephiroth as other scientists in the room stared on. "Why else do you think I've presented you with this creature?"

"I thought–"

"Whatever you thought, my boy: it matters not. Kill it."

Sephiroth looked down at the mouse in his hand, who was blissfully unaware that her fate was the centre of the conversation going on around her. He looked into those innocent little eyes so full of life, focused on the heart he sensed beating in her body.

"I... I don't want to. I can't," he said. "Can't I keep her?"

"Absolutely not," Hojo snapped. "You are going to do as Shinra has ordered- kill it, with your bare hands, right now. "

"No!"

"Do not refuse me, boy!" Hojo yelled, and Sephiroth flinched in sudden fear. "Why must you act so foolish!? This is an order, Sephiroth, and you have no right to question orders. Whatever fatuous empathy is driving such rebellious thought must be stamped out."

"Stop!" Sephiroth shook his head, shying away from Hojo and keeping a hand over the mouse, as if doing so would protect her. He could sense she was growing stressed by the professor's shouting, and she was not alone: he could feel tears forming in his eyes.

Oh no.

"Oh, there you go, foolish boy. Snivelling like a weakling again. Now, Sephiroth, you must understand there is no place for emotion with what Shinra has planned for you. Your strength will be put to good use, and we cannot have you breaking down like this every time you are given a job to do. Now, my boy– your job is to kill. So, kill."

"But I don't want to be a killer! I won't hurt anyone!" Sephiroth tried to speak with as firm a voice as possible, even raising it despite his fear of Hojo, despite the tears rolling down his cheeks. " How is this good use? I just... I just–"

(((I just want to keep her))).

"Do. Not. Question," Hojo snarled. "Just do. Kill it."

Sephiroth sobbed, shying away until his back hit the wall of the room. He felt like he was back in that horrible room with the children, unable to escape the gaze of the scientists shooting him blank, unsympathetic stares– unable to escape Hojo. He held the mouse close to himself, looking down at her– she'd curled up in his hand, as if she trusted him.

All he wanted was for Doctor Gast, by some miracle, to return. Sephiroth imagined how he'd enter the room, direct some sharp words at the cold-hearted scientists, and whisk him away to dry his tears and offer sanctum. Doctor Gast had never called him weak for weeping. Doctor Gast would never try to put him through such a horrible test.

"How about we make a deal," Professor Hojo's mouth widened into a terrible grin, the kind he had when a twisted idea had formed in his mind. "I will tell you about your mother. And, in return, you kill that specimen."

"M-my mother?" Sephiroth looked up. This deal did not tempt him, not really– he just didn't have it in him to take the life of this creature– but his heart skipped a beat when he heard mention of his mother, from Hojo of all people. He'd wondered, for as long as he could remember, of where his parents were, who they were, why they weren't around for him– so many questions. Professor Hojo would be furious any time he tried to bring up the subject, and even Doctor Gast refused to divulge any details.

"Yes, my boy– your mother," Hojo sneered. "You wish to know about her, don't you?"

Sephiroth did not want to be part of this 'deal'. But he did not cover his ears as Hojo went on to speak.

"My boy... you fight so hard to protect the expendable life of this specimen. But you were born a killer."

Sephiroth remained silent, absent-mindedly petting the mouse but not taking his eyes off Hojo. He bit his lip as a nausea formed in the pit of his stomach. Could Hojo even be trusted?

"Your mother– she was a wonderful woman named–" he paused, frowning for a moment. "Jenova."

Jenova, Sephiroth repeated in his mind. My mother was named Jenova.

"She had such magnificent potential, you know. She had been so intelligent, sharp both in her wits and her observations. And she was so excited to have you, to see you and hold you in her arms."

Sephiroth felt more tears stinging his eyes. All this time, had there been someone who so loved him?

"Of course, my boy, you tore all of that apart."

The child gasped softly, and this only prompted Hojo to continue with a wide smile.

"With the simple event of your birth, you killed her. You killed your dear mother Jenova, may she rest peacefully in the lifestream, with little more than your mere existence. "

"Y-you're lying!" Sephiroth raised his voice in disbelief, shaking his head and not realising his hold was tightening slightly around the mouse– this did not slip past Hojo's notice.

"That can't be true. I d-didn't kill anyone!"

"Oh, dear boy, but you did. Every word I speak reflects only the truth of what you did. So much potential, so much of it down the drain– because of you. From the very beginning, you've been a killer."

Sephiroth shook his head vigorously, cheeks wet with his tears.

"It's not true!" he shouted, sniffling as he stared at the professor with horrified red eyes. For once, Hojo did not scold him for his tears– if anything, he almost seemed to take pleasure in them. He cackled as he saw the child's hand tighten again around the mouse, yet the boy was so stressed he did not notice.

"It is your fate to kill," Hojo continued. "Do you forget, so soon, of what you did to that child?"

Sephiroth froze.

"What do you think would have happened, had there been no intervention? My boy, you were going to kill that child too– just as you had your mother."

"N-no!" Sephiroth wept, shaking his head and tensing up even more. "No, shut up! I'm not a killer!"

"That is exactly what you are!" Professor Hojo shouted at him, closing in, drawing closer and closer. He noticed the mouse's tail thrashing, and knew it was all going to plan. "You are nothing but a destructive brat, that is what you were born as, and what you shall always be! YOU ARE A KILLER!"

Sephiroth whimpered and pressed himself against the wall behind him, shutting his eyes and shaking his head. Professor Hojo continued to shout at him, raising his voice to its full capacity as he roared accusations of murder at the silver-haired child. And all the while, the boy tensed up and shrunk away and sobbed.

"You crushed that child's arm into a mass of unrecognisable flesh," Hojo whispered, his gaze now pinned onto Sephiroth's bloodied fist. "And look– you have done it again."

Oh... oh, my boy. Look at what you have done.

Good boy. You obeyed what I told you to do.

See? You are a killer and have been from the very beginning.

You take life and reduce it to little more than a red smear.

That is your purpose, my boy. That is what you are best at.

The children were right to fear you.