TW: implied/referenced aphobia

~~~~~

"So," Lydia started, raising an eyebrow at Scott, "talk."

Scott stared at The Pack. Everyone had made it, even Jackson. Surprisingly, Isaac was there, too, gripping Danny's hand like his life depended on it. Danny looked to be in pain until Isaac realised and relinquished his grip slightly with an apologetic smile, but he stayed tightly pressed against him, as if to show Scott that he had moved on to someone who actually cared about him.

Kira wasn't there, she hadn't been invited, but Derek knew that she wouldn't have come even if she had been. She was still in trouble with her parents for not keeping in touch while she was away and for leaving so abruptly.

"Scott?" Lydia prompted again, curtly. Her voice held dark threats and spiteful promises. If Lydia wanted to, she could be more terrifying than a vast majority of the monsters they had faced, and right now, she really wanted to be.

"I don't know where to start." He said finally, eyes skirting around the room, flicking to the door, running over the place where Isaac had swung at him then drawing back and staying there, "I deserved it, when you hit me, and when Jackson scratched me."

Derek blinked, looking over at Jackson in surprise. Jackson just shrugged and said: "He was being an asshole, he needed to be taken down a few pegs."

"Aw, I knew you cared." Stiles cooed, but there was genuine happiness in his eyes. Derek moved closer, wrapped an arm around his waist and gripped his hip, wordlessly joining Stiles in his pride at their Pack. Stiles looked up at him, a quiet smile on his lips.

"I did," Scott agreed with Jackson, everyone's attention snapped back to him, he ducked his head. "I am sorry, I know I may never earn your trust or forgiveness, but I want to try."

Lydia sighed, glanced around the room, no one else was going to say anything, "Alright," she stood up, a resigned look gracing her features, "Well, we need to at least know why you want to do this."

"Um, yeah, of course." He bit his lip, eyes wide in a way that reminded Derek, disconcertingly enough, of a puppy. "Yesterday, I told Stiles that I did what I did because I was mad at the fact that he wasn't human any more, something he really didn't want, and that I took it out in the wrong way. And that's true, but it was also because I blamed myself for him becoming a vampire. I should've protected him. I should've been there. I want a chance to try to make up for the way that I took out my anger."

There was a long moment of heavy silence, it swallowed them, dragged them down until the room rang with a compounded nothing.

"What about me?" The words split the room, pulled Scott's focus onto Isaac as he thought about what he had said, "You talked about why you hurt Stiles, but what about me? You don't get a free pass just because you were angry, especially since this had been going on for god knows how long before Stiles told us about his vampirism."

Scott took a long breath, but before he could speak Danny cut him off, "Think carefully about what you say next." There was a dark growl to his voice that Derek, if he didn't know any better, would've said was one of a wolf protecting the one he loved.

Scott nodded. Paced the floor for a moment then pulled to a stop. "I keep asking myself the same question and I always seem to get the same answer: the last time I loved someone as much as I love you, I had to watch them die in my arms."

Jackson frowned, "'Love'? Scott, you told me, to my face, that you thought Isaac couldn't give you what you 'needed', that he wasn't 'enough' for you. You cheated on him with no intention of breaking up with him. Tell me if I'm wrong but that isn't love."

Isaac's scent had slowly soured and he looked up at Scott with such deep-rooted pain in his eyes that Derek felt the urge just to kick Scott out again. Danny had worked so hard to help Isaac gain his confidence back after Scott had left but Scott's words had pulled on a loose thread and he could see Isaac unravelling in front of his eyes.

Stiles stiffened next to Derek and he knew that Stiles was, once again, rethinking his decision. Maybe there truly was no coming back from what Scott had done.

Just that thought had Derek's chest aching; he didn't want to be the one to explain that to Stiles. He wouldn't have to be if Scott said the right thing, but was there a right thing to say?

"This was all because I'm asexual? I mean, I had guessed maybe, but you said that you were okay with it, that you would talk to me, that it wasn't a big deal." He pulled in on himself a little, moving away from Danny and tugging his hand away. Danny's scent turned bitter quickly, fury rising and taking over his usual calm smell. His hands curled into fists and shook with the effort of not punching Scott right then and there.

Scott's eyes were wide and real, honest to god tears were falling down his cheeks. Jackson's words had shocked him. Like he had forgotten that he had said them, like they weren't meant for anyone else to hear. "I-"

"Scott, don't tell us that you were lying, I heard your heartbeat," Ethan said.

"I thought it was the truth." Scott rushed, "It took me too long to realise that it wasn't. Isaac was always enough, perfect just the way he is, I wouldn't change anything about him, not ever. He's perfect, so perfect. It was never, ever about his asexuality and I shouldn't have tried to make it about that because I was always more than okay with it. He was always so good to me, so kind and understanding and snarky," Scott's lips twitched up a little, "and he is so strong. He was... I love him."

"But you loved her more." Isaac spat.

"It doesn't matter now. She doesn't want me. Not long after we started dating, she started talking about how I should break up with you, for your sake. When she left to come back here, she broke up with me."

"But, Scott, it does matter. Don't you see that? You loved her. You chose her over me!" Isaac was trembling, but he'd relaxed back into Danny's side, hand moving back to his, gently rubbing at Danny's fists until they flattened out again. Derek knew that Isaac liked to pretend that he was okay, he knew that Isaac hated being this open in front of The Pack, and especially when Scott was there, and it made him want to send Scott away. But if there was one thing Derek had learned throughout his life (bar the fact that talking to the people you love is a good way to feel better) it was that dealing with your problems head-on can, most of the time, be good. And Scott was definitely a problem.

"I was scared to break things off with you because I thought that maybe we wouldn't be able to continue being friends." Scott blurted the words like he wasn't aware that they were actually coming from his mouth. "I was afraid to hurt you," This time his voice was slow, calculated, "and, as a result, hurt you so, so much more." Derek wondered how long he'd known this, he hadn't mentioned it before, Stiles would've said something. And he didn't seem aware that it was true until after he'd spoken.

"You did." Isaac agreed. "But you said that you love me, not loved."

"I do love you, but, as you said, I love her more – differently. It just took me too long to realise that. I am sorry."

"That's not good enough, Scott."

"I know. Nothing is. I messed up. I'm trying, but I just don't know what to do."

When there was no response, he went on, "Before Stiles and Derek found me, I was kidnapped. It wasn't for very long, but it only took me about two minutes to stop fighting it. I stopped because I realised that no one would care. I was completely alone and it was all my fault, it didn't matter. No one would miss me, I didn't even have a job to go back to since they fired me, so there was no point. It was all my fault. Everything is so fucked up and it is all my fault." No one seemed bothered or concerned to hear that Scott had been kidnapped, it didn't surprise Derek in the slightest. But a flicker of something did pass over Isaac's face, as well as a few of the others in The Pack.

Lydia ignored what he had said, pushed it away with a wave of her hand as if it were nothing and said, "What about your mom? Do you have an excuse for that?"

Scott rocked back on his heels for a second, having not expected Lydia's flippancy towards what he had said, then he shook his head. "I am not trying to make excuses for what I did, I just want you to understand my thought process."

"I don't care, answer my question." Lydia tapped her heel on the floor, crossing her arms.

"I knew that she would be able to make me stay and fix things, and I wasn't ready for that yet. I wish that I had been, but I wasn't. And I still wasn't when you called me. I have said and done a lot of things that I regret, including nearly everything I said on that phone call."

The room fell into a painful silence, once again. This time it stretched on for an eternity, Stiles fidgeted under Derek's arm, tapping his fingers over his thighs slowly, one by one on one leg, then again on the other. Counting. He was counting his fingers, making sure he was still awake. Derek thought back to what Stiles had said about Scott, and his nightmare, what Scott had said and how Stiles had felt, what he had thought. Scott's words now were making him second guess himself and his consciousness. Maybe it was time to get Stiles out of here, at least for a few minutes.

He squeezed Stiles' shoulder, Stiles glanced up at him, Derek flicked his eyes between Stiles' fingers, still tapping slowly, absently, and the door. Neither of them wanted to break the heavy silence; it wasn't theirs to break, so Stiles nodded. Still, without a word, they both left. No-one stopped them, they all understood that this was their time to talk to Scott; Stiles had already had his chance and, undoubtedly, would again later. So they were free to leave, and soon so would the rest of them.