~~~~~

Derek watched silently as Stiles explained everything to Jackson and Ethan. In reality, he wanted to push everyone out the door to talk to Stiles privately; the words "our first kiss" ringing in his ears like the echo of a train in a tunnel. Stiles had hoped for a better first kiss, did that mean he wanted to kiss him or was it just something he had said to set Derek's mind at ease? If it was the latter, it had failed rather miserably.

This should not have been the main thing on Derek's mind right now, he knew that. They had more pressing matters to attend to and judging by the look on Lydia's face, she had some rather important discoveries to share. But Stiles was still busy explaining everything to Jackson and Ethan and clearing up some lies spread by Scott, as it seemed. Which successfully dragged Derek back to the present. He pulled himself together, with the resolve of talking to Stiles later, and put his attention on the trio.

"So, he told you that I was a murderous, lying, couple ruining monster?"

"Well, pretty much, yes." Jackson, for once, avoided joking or sassing. In fact, he looked genuinely pissed off at Scott.

"What a conniving bastard!" Stiles started pacing the length of his room, "I can't believe him, why would he try to turn you against me? Of course, he would." Stiles hit himself in the forehead with his palm. "Why would he not, is the real question. He's... God, I hate him!" Derek could see Stiles swaying as he paced, see his eyes glisten and hear his voice catch. He knew if he didn't do anything soon Stiles wouldn't stop talking and overexert himself - he was already exhausted.

So he stood up and when Stiles span around to continue his pacing, he walked straight into Derek's chest. Although Jackson snickered (quickly silenced by Ethan stamping on his foot), Stiles didn't seem perturbed, just let Derek hold him, relaxed into his arms. It didn't stop his rambling but it did convince the other two males to leave, finally.

Derek tightened his grip on Stiles and glanced over at Lydia who seemed lost in her own thoughts. "Can it wait?" he mouthed after getting her attention. She nodded, stood up and followed after Jackson, quietly. She seemed as though she had some research to do anyway.

Derek lifted a still mumbling Stiles up and placed him in bed. "It's going to be okay." He said but regretted it as soon as it left his mouth.

"No, no it's not. He was my brother, Derek, My goddamned brother! And now he's trying to turn Pack against me? We were supposed to be in this together, that's what brothers do, they stick together, through thick and thin." He shook his head, "Maybe I knew this would happen all along, maybe that's why it took me so long to tell him."

They'd had a conversation like this before, but then Stiles had been adamant that he didn't hate Scott, and maybe he still didn't, not really. "Is it selfish that I wish I hadn't, is it? Because if I hadn't said anything then Isaac would still be in a relationship with him and not crying at Danny's. But that would be a good thing." Derek stopped him there.

"No, it would not be a good thing, Stiles. You got him out of a bad relationship, you should be glad."

"But I'm not!" Stiles made to stand but Derek pulled him tighter against his chest, shushing him quietly. "How can I be after I've turned him against me?" Stiles' voice caught painfully in his throat again. He didn't fight against Derek's hold, even as he ranted on about everything. Derek did listen, he listened to every word and countered what he could when Stiles stopped to let out quiet sobs. But then Stiles said, "And I don't know what to do now that you've kissed me. I know it was a spur of the moment thing and all but it just sucks that it had to happen then, and with everyone watching. And you probably regret it and..." Derek wondered if Stiles even realised what he was saying at this point but only briefly as then Stiles went on with, "I'm sorry, you're probably disgusted." And Derek nearly yelled, "fuck that!" before reigning himself in and trying to get Stiles' attention.

When Stiles continued to blindly blabber on about the kiss, Derek didn't even think.

"Shit," Stiles breathed as Derek pulled away again. Then he made a confused noise at the back of his throat and gaped at Derek as if he had two heads.

"If you had let me speak I would've told you that I don't regret it. I do regret the circumstances and that you were in a position where you couldn't have stopped me if you wanted to but not that it happened." He really did hate that Stiles hadn't been able to push him away, but they'd tried everything else and Lydia said that it had worked once before. Of course, this had been her plan. Lydia always had a plan.

"So... What does this mean?"

"Whatever you want." Derek knew Stiles was old enough to make his own decisions and smart enough to know that if he turned Derek down, Derek wouldn't force the issue. He couldn't. He refused to become anything like Kate, who had, in a way, seduced him and he couldn't do anything like that to Stiles. Derek was so much older, in his opinion, so it was up to Stiles and Stiles alone to make this decision. And as long as Stiles didn't push too far or ask for too much, Derek would be happy with whatever he said next. Probably.

^^^^^

Jackson was struggling to control himself. Ethan was pressed tightly against his shoulder in an attempt to ground him. It was helping, and really Jackson knew he had no right to be this upset at Scott as he, himself, had hurt Stiles many times before. But this was different. Scott was Stiles' best friend and he had lied to not only Stiles and his own boyfriend (Isaac) but also Jackson. He'd tried to use his already tender, strained relationship against him so that he would hurt Stiles. So, Jackson was mad on Stiles' behalf.

And now... now Scott was stood in front of Jackson, outside Jackson's house, with a blinding grin on his face. "Hi."

"Go away, Scott." It was Ethan's voice that hit the air but Jackson's growl wasn't far behind.

"Why?" Scott asked, eyes large in that infuriatingly innocent way.

"We talked to Stiles, Lydia. Derek was there too. We're both on their side." Jackson said.

"But... I was telling you the truth." He had been, Ethan may be better at telling the truths from the lies but Jackson wasn't an idiot: he knew Scott had been being honest with him, but so had Stiles and Lydia.

"Oh, wow." He felt sorry for Scott. "You really do see it that way, don't you? You really don't see anything wrong with what you did."

"Stiles ruined everything, not me!" God, he was blinded by his own righteousness. "If it had been my fault, if I had done something wrong, then I would've lost my true alpha spark. That's what Deaton said before." He flashed his eyes: red but nowhere near as bright as they had once been. He really didn't know, he was so stuck in his own head that he genuinely believed that everything he did was okay.

"Scott, let me spell this out for you: you lied and cheated on your boyfriend, despite the fact that he already has trust issues, you called your best friend a monster, a murderer, you tried to convince Liam to do the same by asking him to join you. Scott, you are an idiot." Jackson took a step forward, he could feel the cold press of his claws against his palm and knew that if Scott didn't leave soon he would do something he probably wouldn't regret.

Scott didn't leave, if fact, he stepped closer and tried to defend himself again. Lame, pathetic, unreasonable excuses about how Isaac couldn't give Scott what Scott "needed". Although Jackson knew, for a fact, that Scott and Isaac had discussed how Isaac wasn't interested in sex before they got together and it hadn't bothered Scott in the slightest. And how Isaac wasn't "enough". It made Jackson feel sick.

Then he tried to turn it on Jackson, reminding him of everything he had done to Stiles. Jackson snapped. Before he knew what he was doing, he lashed out, claws tearing through soft flesh that would heal all too quickly. Scott yelped, jumping back and raising a hand to his mutilated face. "What the hell?" He screamed.

"Leave, now!" Scott ran with only a glance over his shoulder spared.

*****

Whatever he wanted... god, he was too tired to be making this decision but he had to at some point. So, what did Stiles want with Derek? He knew he wanted to kiss him, help him become completely happy again, talk to him, spend time with him. But date? It seemed like such a strong word, he'd never dated someone, not really. Though he really liked Derek, was now the right time? It seemed too fast and too much, and what if he couldn't be what Derek wanted him to be? What if he was never human again and he got attached and then had to watch Derek grow old and die? What if...

"Stiles?" Derek touched Stiles' face lightly, "Talk to me."

"I can't be what you need."

"You already are more than I could ever hope for." Stiles blinked at that. Then voiced his worry on ageing only for Derek to say, "It'll be okay, we'll find a way to make you as human as we can." It wasn't much but hearing the words out loud helped.

Stiles mind raced for things he could say, things that would help him out of answering the unasked question: what did the kiss mean to you? He wanted it to mean so much, and it did, it probably meant too much And he had a crush on Derek, for fuck's sake! So, why couldn't he find the words: "Will you be mine?". Every time he tried to say them, they slipped away. He would look for them, chase after them but they stayed just out of reach.

He wasn't ready for this. Not yet.

"I, Derek I'm so sorry, I just can't right now." Derek's face fell, but he nodded.

"It's alright, I understand."

"No, you don't, let me--"

"Don't, Stiles, I get it." Derek was trying to smile, trying to hide his disappointment. "I just wasn't expecting a flat out no."

"I said 'right now', Derek. That's not a 'no'." Derek tried to say something but Stiles talked over him, "Derek, I like you, like, really like like you. But I'm not ready for the sort of relationship I want with you. That's not your fault and I'm sorry, I really am. I don't want this to scare you away, though. Please, I don't want this to get in between us. I really am sorry." Derek stopped him from going on, as they both knew he would.

"Okay, I'll wait for you."

"I can't ask you to do that."

"You didn't," Stiles smirked and Derek chuckled. The tension broke.

"One day."

Derek nodded. "One day."

~''~''~''~''~

AN: *blep* :)