LOMBARD, PASQUALE W., 57, was discovered dead this morning under suspicious circumstances. Mr. Pasquale Lombard—owner and ringmaster of the Curiosity Carnival—was a suspect earlier this week in the strange death of the FeeJee Mermaid, one of the carnival's most beloved attractions. Nothing but his head has washed up on the riverbank, and authorities question whether or not Mr. Lombard is dead at all, or if the rest of him has wriggled off to evade conviction.

     Until proven otherwise, friends and carnies may call on his remains at the Monster Mortuary, 1313 Mockingbird Lane, at midnight this evening.

Scented tissues will be provided.

⚰ A/N: O-bit of a stanky fellow, no? This was 10/4/16 on Instagram (username: untroubledheart). If you can stand the above, please don't forget to vote!

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