Matteo has been working in 'Alpha overdrive' as I've been calling it (which he doesn't enjoy all too much) ever since my father informed me that my mother comes from the Apsens Pack. That news was definitely a combination of lucky and unlucky. My mother is the daughter of the Alpha to one of the largest packs in the Americas. That same pack also just happens to be the most neutral pack known to man. Tell me that is not irony at its finest.

Matteo has been trying his absolute hardest to win their alliance, but even with using me as an excuse, they just won't budge. I've tried telling him to just give it up already, but I think that's just making it worse. I think he's becoming frustrated with me by how calm I am with everything that's happening.

Maybe it just hasn't sunk in yet? Maybe I'm just used to feeling fear at this point?

Nah.

Obviously, I realize that what is happening is not okay. I understand that I am in danger and could very well die at any moment. It's hard not to when it's all that I ever hear about. I can't be outside alone. I can't have a meaningless conversation without someone bringing up how incredibly ignorant I am or how brave I am to be going through this without any fear. I can't do a single thing without having it somehow tie in with the fact that I'm being hunted by Vindicta.

I just keep acting like it isn't happening, though. It's my sad attempt at trying to get things to return to normal.

Jack told me that I need counseling.

He's probably right.

"Not to sound annoying, but I just want to spend some time with him," I groaned as Jack threw a cheeseball into the air for me to catch. I smiled inwardly when I managed to catch it in my mouth for the seventh time in a row.

"It was cute when you said it the first four times, but now that you've said it at least twelve, you're starting to get there," Jack commented. I rolled my eyes as he tossed another cheeseball into my mouth.

"I can't help it," I whined, "I just—"

"Want to be with him. I know," Jack finished my sentence for me. "You really need to get a hobby."

"I have hobbies," I muttered.

"Like what?"

"I like to practice my cursive, and I practice my math, and my spelling," I stated a matter-of-factly. Jack gave me a pointed look in return.

"Those aren't hobbies. Those are things Matteo makes you do when he's trying to do something that you don't care enough to attempt to understand," Jack retorted as he launched another cheeseball at my face. This time, it bounced off of my forehead and rolled onto the floor.

"That was shit," I accused as I picked up the cheeseball off of the floor before inspecting it.

"Don't do it," Jack warned. With a shrug, I popped the cheeseball into my mouth causing Jack to scrunch up his face in disgust. "Do you know how many people walk on this floor?"

"It is scientifically proven that food that has been on the floor for less than one twelfth of a minute is perfectly okay to eat," I countered. The look on Jack's face made it clear how much he didn't believe what I was saying.

"First of all, no it's not," he stated, raising one finger before raising another to make another point. "Second of all, are you talking about the five second rule?"

"See, I told you it's a real thing." Jack found that comment very unamusing.

"Maybe you just need some friends." I couldn't stop the scoff from escaping past my lips.

"I'll worry about making friends when I can take a walk outside without Matteo keeping me on a leash," I mused, standing up from the leather sofa.

"You can make friends in the house," Jack countered as I picked up the tub of cheeseballs from his lap and placed myself there instead.

"This place is going to make me kill myself," I grumbled as leaned back into Jack and stuck my hand in the tub to pull out a handful of cheeseballs. I quickly shoved the fistful into my mouth as if I hadn't eaten in days, when in reality I had just eaten seven waffles about an hour ago.

"That's a little dramatic. Don't you think?"

"No, if anything I don't think it was dramatic enough," I said, but it all sounded kind of muffled together because of the food in my mouth. Again, Jack scrunched up his face in disgust.

"Now, I see why Matteo doesn't like to eat with you." I opened my mouth to reply, but Jack already beat me to it. "Kaia, you guys will spend time together later," he stated before I had the chance to speak.

"Actually, I was going to continue the conversation by saying that I've been here for months, yet I feel like I never leave this house unless it's to travel to another country," I stated with irritation flooding into my voice.

"Well, that's because you don't." Well, thanks for being so blunt with me today. I kept my lips tightly shut causing them to form a thin line. How do I argue with the truth? I mean, I'm sure I could find a way, but I would just be contradicting myself in the end.

Hugging the tub of cheeseballs against me, I leaned forward and stood up from Jack's lap. Without another word, I started walking out of the lounge.

"Where are you going?" Jack called after me. I didn't stop. I just kept walking.

"Later isn't soon enough. I want to spend time with my mate."

"Kaia, you know you're not suppose to go in there," Jack accused as he began walking after me.

"Hmm, really? I never saw a sign?" Yeah, I wasn't supposed to interrupt Matteo. He was supposedly having serious conversations with some of the higher ranking members of the pack about things I had no knowledge about at this point. He told me like a week ago that he was going to explain it all to me. That still hasn't happened. One would think that since all of the planning that has been going on revolves around my life, I would be informed a little.

I guess I really can't complain, though. I was the one who didn't want anyone to acknowledge my impending doom, after all. It just makes me annoyed when the only person I would want to hear this stuff from isn't telling me a damn thing.

Instead, I have some middle aged woman going on her seventh child telling me that I'll be the reason for her family's demise.

I was just steps away from Matteo's office door when a large hand caught hold of my forearm. I turned around to face Jack who was looking at me like a parent who was about to scold their child about how biting other children is bad. He raised his hand and pointed to something behind me. In confusion, I turned around to see what he was pointing at.

Taped to the door was a piece of paper that clearly read 'KAIA STAY OUT'.

It was times like these when I realized just how predictable I must be becoming.

I quickly snatched the paper off of the door. "Well, it's a real shame that I can't read," I said as I crumpled up the paper before shoving both the tub of cheeseballs and the paper into Jack's hands. Leaving Jack in a state of speechlessness, I walked into Matteo's office. I questioned for a moment why he didn't just lock the door. The thought crossed my mind that maybe he just wasn't as intelligent as I've been giving him credit for. I realized that it was most likely because he knew I'd make an appearance, and would rather I didn't  make another giant wall-hole.

In his office were two other men aside from himself. They looked like they were older than Matteo by quite a few years. I'd never seen either of them before, but I didn't think on it too much. I had barely met all of the members in the central pack house let alone his entire pack which spanned over several states. Both men were seated in chairs in front of Matteo's desk. Matteo wasn't seated at his desk. Instead, he was standing with his body leaning against it. Kind of odd, but I didn't question it. My guess was that he just liked to look down at people rather than looking up to them. I didn't believe for a second that these men were tall enough for Matteo to look up to, anyway.

Matteo was mid sentence when I walked in. He paused, blinked, but never looked in my direction as I made my way over to him. His line of sight moved from the faces of the men to the wall behind them. The expression on his face was that look you give when you tell a child "no, don't do that", but they do it anyway.

Like he wanted to kill me, but knew there was no way he ever could.

"I didn't think he was serious when he said she was going to ignore the sign and come in anyway," one of the men leaned over and whispered to the other. I'm sure he had no intentions of having Matteo or I hearing it. I chuckled quietly to myself as I sat down in Matteo's chair. I didn't say anything, though. I didn't want to interrupt.

"Will the two of you give my mate and I one second alone?" Matteo asked tightly. It was meant to be a question, but definitely came out as more of a direct order. Without another word from anyone, the two men stood up from their chairs and left Matteo's office. I thought that after they left, Matteo would say something, but the room stayed dead silent.

He was making it very awkward for me.

After a moment or two of just nothing, I heard Matteo sigh. He turned around to face me. His eyes were closed, and his left hand was balled into a loose fist. Slowly, he let out a deep breath and opened his eyes. I could just tell by how tensely he was clenching his jaw that he was trying not to strangle me. He better be careful that he doesn't break his teeth.

"Kai, why are you here?" He asked calmly. His inner anger was still swimming in his dark blue eyes.

"I'm your hype man." Apparently, that wasn't the right answer. Matteo had to close his eyes and take another deep breath. This was something new that Matteo had been doing. Jack says it's because Matteo has a hard time dealing with stress calmly especially now that his mate is in more danger than he could have ever imagined.

"Did you read the sign?"

I responded with a lopsided smile and shook my head.

"Couldn't read it," I shrugged.

"Kaia, you wrote it. I made you write it so that you knew what it said," he snapped.

Oh, so that's what he had me copy earlier. I wasn't really paying attention. I was just trying to make my handwriting look nice.

I think he needed another deep breath.

"Can we just go for a walk?" I sighed, trying to divert the conversation as I laid back into the chair. I internally winced as his jaw clenched impossibly tighter.

"A walk?" He looked dumbfounded and pissed all at once. "You want to go for a walk? We don't have time to go for a walk," he snapped at me, again.

"Yes, we do!" I shouted exasperatedly. "We have plenty of time to take a twenty minute walk." God forbid, he acts like the entire pack will start up in flames if we don't talk about what is happening for even a minute.

"Kaia, you're in danger."

"Oh my God, yes. I know," I groaned as I dramatically waved my hands around in the air. "Now, can we talk about anything else?"

"You aren't taking this seriously!" Matteo's voice was raising which was making me raise mine. It was a vicious cycle that the two of us were all too familiar with.

"Maybe you're taking this too seriously!"

"Maybe you need to grow up!" Okay, that one stung a little.

"Maybe I don't want to be reminded every second of every f—king day that I could die in the next twenty-four hours! Have you thought about that?" I snapped causing a silence to fall between us.

I didn't mean to be so blunt. I was trying to keep my mouth shut and just accept that I messed up. I was having to deal with the consequences of what I had done so carelessly, but I didn't want to. I never had to before. I never had to make sure I had people ready to defend me. No one else needed involved when I did something stupid before, but that's completely out the door at this point. Now, it feels like the entire world thinks I'm an idiot all because that's how it works in these stupid packs.

Matteo's face that once held an angry expression, now looked kind of sorry.

"So, I don't care if I sound childish. For once, I just want to think about anything else."

My arms were crossed over my chest, and I was refusing to meet the oceanic blue eyes of my mate. I kept my gaze solely on the desk in front of me. I expected a snappy remark, but it never came. I was surprised when a hand was held out to me instead. Confused, I looked up with furrowed brows silently questioning Matteo.

"You already know that I've never been good at saying no to you," Matteo said trying to keep a stoic expression. I could hear the small bit of annoyance laced in his tone. It wasn't a secret that Alphas don't enjoy being weak for anyone. I just so happened to have a mate who let me walk all over him despite what he would like. I smiled knowing that he was referring back to when I wanted to go for a walk. Not wasting another minute, I grabbed his hand and practically drug him outside.

It was certainly not the warmest weather. If anything, I was surprised there wasn't any snow continuing to collect on the ground. We had finally just managed to make it out of the worst of February's cold weather. It made me laugh a little at the thought of already being in February. Who would have guessed that I'd make it this long?

My quiet chuckle caught Matteo's attention. He was walking beside me as we took a popular running trail through the woods just behind the packhouse. I was too busy snapping low limbs off of trees to notice his eyes watching every move I made.

"What?" He asked, catching me off guard as I jumped up to grab a limb.

Too damn short, I thought to myself as my hand missed the limb by nearly a foot.

"Huh?"

"Why'd you laugh?" He asked as I rubbed my cold hands together. Seeing that my hands were no doubt minutes from becoming hypothermic, he pulled his hands out of his coat pockets and held them out for me to take. I smiled and bounced over to him. I placed my hands in his and instantly felt my hands beginning to warm up from the heat of his.

"I'm not a teenager anymore," I stated before taking a brief pause. "Well, I mean, I haven't been for like three weeks or something."

"Three weeks?" His brows furrowed in confusion. "Your birthday was three weeks ago?"

"Well, I don't know for sure. Um, my mom said she thinks my birthday is January 21st," I stated simply with a shrug. Matteo frowned slightly and moved his right thumb around in a circle on the back of my left hand. It was such a simple gesture, but it made this weird, bubbly feeling erupt within me making me want to vomit but in a good way.

"Happy birthday," he muttered, obviously a little annoyed that he was unaware I had become the big twenty. I rolled my eyes and pulled my hands away from his. I walked away from him to start my assault on nature, again. Instead of targeting a tree limb this time, I picked up a rock and chucked it at a tree as hard as I could. It broke into several smaller pieces on contact.

The rock, not the tree.

"Did you ask your father about your mother?" Instantly, I cringed at the mention of both of my parents. I didn't really understand why he was asking. He already knew everything that I did.

"Matteo, I told you I don't want to—"

"No, not where she's from. Where she is," he quickly corrected. I paused for a moment, bending down to pick up another rock on the trail.

"Oh, no," I said with a grunt as I launched the rock at another tree that I missed completely. I sighed as I searched the ground for another rock.

"Aren't you at all curious?" He wasn't directly beside me as he had been earlier. No doubt he was trying to keep a little bit of distance so that I didn't hit him with a rock. I shrugged a little as I bent down to pick up another rock.

"Yea."

"Then, why didn't you ask?"

I sighed. Placing the rock back onto the ground, I turned around to see Matteo trailing behind me at a safe distance.

"My mother was a really big believer in standing by your mate until one of you ended up dead."

"You don't think she's dead?"

"I don't think she just left." Admitting it made my chest feel sort of heavy. It made it a little hard to swallow.

Aw, hell. It broke a little bit of me to think that my mother was definitely laying dead in some unmarked grave in the middle of God knows where.

Sensing my mood change, Matteo walked up to me and brought me into a hug. I knew he only did it because he was the shittiest person at comfort using his words. It is especially true when I get upset when it comes to my family. We both learned that over the past few months, for sure.

My arms wound around his waist as his wrapped around my shoulders. His lips kissed the top of my head which was laying against his strong chest. It sent a warm sensation down my spine bringing back that weird feeling. For one of the first times since I'd ever met Matteo, I wasn't thinking about how much better the scenario would be if we just shed a few layers of clothing. I was oddly content in the position we were in.

Jackets on and all.

The weird, warm feeling seemed to spread and ultimately settled in my chest. It sent my mind into a foreign state of euphoria and made my heart rate accelerate. Sleeves of an unfamiliar warmth stretched down my arms and legs making me have to hold myself back from wiggling my fingers around to make sure that they were still there.

I pulled my head back from his chest allowing me to look up at him. Our eyes connected which sent my mind over the edge. My heart was thudding against my chest so hard that it hurt. I was nearly freezing just minutes ago, but the moment our eyes connected, my entire body lit up. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before, and I had a slight inkling why. His head tilted to the left slightly in confusion as my eyes searched his as if my life depended on it.

I couldn't possibly bring myself to think of let alone say what I knew I was feeling.

I'm not sure if I even fully felt it for myself much less Matteo, but somehow my body was telling my mind differently in this moment.

I couldn't possibly say it, though.

Instead, I unwound my arms from Matteo's waist. For a moment, the confusion in his face grew until my hands found the back of his neck. I brought his head down to mine, so that my lips had the opportunity to meet his.

I'd kissed Matteo a lot. That was no secret. Nearly every argument that we'd ever had ended with our lips locked. We were very good at the whole 'kiss and makeup' thing. So, yeah. I kissed Matteo a lot. I kissed a lot of people before him, too. Hell, I had sex with a lot of people before Matteo. I kissed and almost had sex with Jack, for God's sake. But, believe me when I say that I'd never experienced any sort of sensation within my mind and body like I did in that very moment when Matteo's lips met mine.

The kiss wasn't heated or lusty. I had no intentions of ripping off every layer of clothing covering our bodies. The thought never even crossed my mind. My hands didn't wander every curve and divot of his body in an attempt to take things farther, and neither did his.

It was the most simple kiss shared between the two of us, but somehow felt the most significant.

It sparked up a feeling within me just solidifying the fact that I managed to get into another situation involving yet another 'L-word'.

___________________

How's about dah

I'm assuming everyone realizes what the L-word is this time hahahahaha.

Anyway, there was just something cute but also relevant. Picking up on some of your two favorite psychos.

Now let's all pray I can keep this updating streak going :) AMMI RIGHT LADIES HA

6/26/18