I think I'm getting used to riding around in cars, or maybe the medication is just really doing its job. Either way, I only throw up every twenty minutes now instead of five. I would say I'm certainly improving in some way.

"Can we stop the car for a second?" I asked, feeling the bile begin to build up in my chest. With a sigh, Matteo pulled the car off to the side of the road. I leaned forward and drew in deep breaths to try to make the sick feeling go away. His hand rubbed my back soothingly as I rocked back and forth. The hair on my arms stood up as electricity danced across my skin from such a simple gesture. The things this man did to me.

"Ew," my dad gagged from the back seat. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Matteo sharply turned around to give my father a warning glare.

This is how most of our ride has gone. We drive a little, I feel nauseous, we stop, Matteo tries to make me feel better, my dad gags from the back seat, Matteo snaps at him, and then repeat.

We stay like this for a couple minutes with me hunched over my knees while Matteo's palm dances over my back. We'd come to realize that aside from the medicine, this also does quite the trick. Matteo isn't the biggest fan of me sucking down two pills every time I feel my stomach start to churn which I'm assuming is because of his mother, so we've agreed to turn to an alternative method instead. I would be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy this method a lot more.

"I think I'm okay," I sighed as I pick up my head. I catch my reflection in the rearview which causes me to grimace internally. My cheeks were flushed, and my hair was sticking to the sides of my face from the never-ending cold sweats.

"Are you sure?" Matteo asked softly, his dark eyes peering intensely into mine. I know he doesn't like seeing me like this. Especially when he knows a large part of it is induced by what is to come. The thought of what we were on our way to do made my stomach do a flip, but I ignored it.

"Yeah, lets just go. We're almost there, right?" I asked, hope lacing it's way into my tone. Matteo gave me a weak smile as he brought my cold hand up to his lips.

"Yeah, twenty minutes, but I can make it ten." I smiled as he placed a soft kiss to the back of my hand.

"Then, let's f—king go," my dad snapped from the back. I rolled my eyes at how eager he was to reach our destination. He had no idea of what was to come. Again, Matteo's eyes snapped back to my father. They hesitated for a moment before coming back to me. Before I had time to say anything, Matteo placed a soft kiss to my lips which instantly made any nauseous feeling in my stomach subside. Well, I guess I'll have to remember that for next time.

A low growl sounded from behind us making me wince. My dad was tolerating Matteo. After speaking to him in the cellar about my mom, I think something in his demented brain may have clicked. Just one thing, though. He's still pretty messed up, but at least he isn't being as awful.

Now, I'm just the awful one—giving up my father to save myself.

I pulled away from Matteo and gave him a knowing look. I knew he only did it to irritate my dad. Matteo wasn't one for affection, especially with other people around.

Despite my look, his face remained totally neutral and void of emotion. I rolled my eyes as he put the car back in drive and sped to our destination.

True to his word, we made it there in ten minutes. I only know this because I made sure to watch the clock on his dash and count down as the minutes went by. I swear, every time the number got smaller, the car sped up about ten miles. It was stupid moments like these that I think I was going to miss the most if all of this ends up falling in Vindicta's favor.

I tried to not think about all of the negative possibilities as the car rolled to a stop. The only thing—or person, I suppose—that I was focused on in that moment was the Alpha on the other side of the windshield, Alpha Ajax Kaun. I nervously clenched my jaw as I watched the smirk on his face deepen. It made uneasiness swirl within my chest making me want to take my dad back home.

I couldn't, though. We needed this alliance more than I needed my dad right now.

"What the hell is going on?" My dad snapped which broke the silence in the car. My heart was racing, and I couldn't tell if it was from excitement or overwhelming regret.

Was this the right thing to do?

I shook my head at the thought. Of course it is the right thing.

"Ready?" Matteo asked, breaking me from my thoughts. My eyes never left Ajax, though. I couldn't stop myself from staring at the tall man with his arms folded over his chest. This man was family, yet I'd never felt more uneasy about a person in my life. Why did he remind me so much of my brother? That weird, devious smirk. It must run in the family.

"Mhmm," I hummed.

"Ready for what?" Ignoring my father's question, we each got out of the car. Neither of us were worried about my dad finding his way out. He was handcuffed and weakened to the point that a shift would hardly be possible. Besides, it would just be uncomfortable to shift in a car.

Matteo and I met at the front of the car. Just as he took my hand in his, I heard the lock on the door fall into place. Maybe Matteo didn't trust those handcuffs as much as I did. The two of us walked up to Ajax hand-in-hand. I noticed Ajax's eyes shift down to our hands before looking between the two of us. I felt like I was being judged, and I hated it. I couldn't begin to understand why, but it felt like everything I was doing in that moment was completely wrong. I turned around to look at my dad, once more. Anger was written all over his face, but there was something else there, too. Confusion. I don't blame him.

By this point, a few other men had joined Ajax for safety reasons, I assume. No Alpha can ever be too safe. Especially now.

"Alpha Nerezza," Ajax acknowledged Matteo. The two shook hands before Ajax's attention moved to me. His smile widened. "Hello, Kaia."

I wanted to correct him and make him refer to me as a Luna in that moment. For some ungodly reason, I wanted to be taken seriously as an Alpha, but I couldn't find the right words. It still burnt my tongue to even think of. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure if he would have referred to me in any other way, I would have gagged.

"Yeah." I wanted to punch myself in the face. Am I stupid? Must be. Matteo must have sensed my unease because he gave my hand a light squeeze. It calmed me for a moment before he and Ajax started to speak.

"I'm going to assume he's the one in the car," Ajax commented, gesturing to my dad who was now completely focused on our conversation. There was no way my dad couldn't hear everything we were saying. By the look on his face, I think he was starting to catch on, as well. I gulped as Matteo answered.

"Yes." I wanted to say no. I wanted to turn around and say, "whoops! Looks like we brought the wrong person!" but it was far too late for that now.

As soon as the word left Matteo's lips two of Ajax's men walked past us to either side of Matteo's car. The one closest to my dad opened the door.

"What do you think-" my dad started to say, but was interrupted by the man literally yanking my dad out of the car. He stumbled to his feet as the man pulled him up by the back of his shirt. I took a step forward out of instinct to help him, but Matteo's tight grip on my hand kept me planted beside him. "Kaia, what is going on?" The confusion and fear in his tone made my heart skip several beats. I was beginning to hope that maybe I would just die in that minute, and everything would just end then and there. I wasn't that lucky.

The two guys walked my dad back over Ajax's border and into his territory. Well, more like they drug him across as the collar of his shirt choked him. As he turned around to ask what was going on for a second time, I couldn't ignore the look in his eyes. It made my stomach drop, and my knees weak. I'd seen my dad mad and I've seen him upset, but this was something different. It was sheer betrayal. I couldn't help it when words began tumbling out of my mouth.

"What are you going to do with him?" Matteo's grip on my hand tightened at my question. I'm guessing that wasn't the right thing to say.

"I really don't think that's any of your business at this point," Ajax chuckled over my dad's objections. I narrowed my eyes at him and scrunched my nose in distaste.

"He's my dad. It is my business," I snapped.

"Kaia," Matteo warned lowly. I should have probably listened, but I wasn't focused on Matteo in that moment.

"And you just gave him to me," Ajax chuckled. "Funny how that works."

"Are you going to kill him?" I asked. There was a heaviness on my chest as the word 'kill' left my lips. All those times that I'd threatened to end my dad's life, I never actually thought it would happen. I never thought anyone other that my dad would kill my dad. It just didn't make sense to me.

"Again, Kaia. What I do with him is no longer any of your concern."

"Kaia, let it go," Matteo hissed between clenched teeth. I ground my teeth together and pushed back all of the questions I wanted to ask. I wanted to say, "is my dad going to be alive if I come back to visit in twenty-four hours?", "am I ever going to be able to see him?", "don't you care how my mother would feel?", but I didn't let it slip this time. I could feel Matteo's anger bubbling, and I didn't want to deal with it.

"You promised my mate an alliance for her father," Matteo spoke seriously. To any average person, he would seem to be calm and serious, but I knew him better. He spoke too quickly. The front of his brows were angled downward, and his hand held mine just a bit tighter. Matteo was on edge, and I couldn't quite pinpoint why.

Ajax's head tilted slightly as if he were a confused child. The left corner of his mouth curved upward and his brows drew together. It was in that moment that my heart sank.

"No," he shook his head, "I said we could talk about one."

"Then, lets talk about it," Matteo replies swiftly. I could tell by the look in Ajax's eyes of what was to come. For someone who disassociates himself from my family so much, he sure does act a lot like us.

A liar.

A manipulator.

"We just did, and I don't think it's in our best interest," he shrugged. "It was nice to see the both of you, again." His sick smile made my teeth grind together with such power that I could practically feel my teeth retreat back into my gums. I lurched forward as he turned on his heel to leave. I broke the grasp that Matteo had on my hand, but his arms wrapping themselves around my waist forced me to a stop.

"You're a liar!" I snarled against Matteo's firm hold. Ajax turned around and gave me a quick glance before chuckling.

"You're new to this, Kaia. You'll learn." With that, he walked away from the two of us.

"Get the hell off of me!" I screamed as I ripped myself away from Matteo. Our eyes connected and my finger raised to point at his face. "You did this! You knew this would happen, didn't you? You just wanted to get rid of him!" I knew Ajax's pack members that were supposed to stand guard until we left were all watching. It was hard not to stare at some small girl shouting at one of the most feared Alphas to have ever lived.

Matteo's hand grasped my wrist, pulling my hand down between us. The darkness in his eyes grew deeper the longer I stared into them.

"Listen to yourself. Do you think I would actually do that to you?" He asked, making my snarled lip turn to a frown. "If I wanted him gone, I would have done it myself." My jaw clenched tightly, and the only sound between us that could be heard was my heavy breathing. "Kaia, you know I would never do something to intentionally hurt you." I knew that. I did. I just couldn't stop thinking about how off Matteo was being. How nervous he was acting during the whole exchange. How quickly his demeanor changed. It didn't make sense to me.

"Why would he do that?" My voice cracked as I said it. It made me wince thinking that everyone hear just heard my heart break through my voice. My own family just lied to me and took my dad probably just to kill him. I wish he would have just taken me instead.

Matteo was much more responsive than any of the five men standing along Apsens' border. His stern expression dropped before wrapping his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. I tucked my head into his chest. A burning sensation in my chest and throat climbed up my spine. I could practically hearing it tell my eyes to release the flood gates, but I wasn't going to let that happen. Not here. Not now. Not ever again.

"Baby, let's go," Matteo whispered into my hair. I paused for a moment as I thought about it. Did I want to go? No. I wanted to murder every single person in this pack and laugh as I did it. But, would that help this situation? No.

"Okay," I mumbled. It was in that moment that I genuinely thought that I might kill myself if Vindicta didn't kill me first. I shook away the thought, though. It wasn't like me to think so...dark.

The car ride home was silent. I think for the first time, we discovered something that made me feel even more sick that driving. I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd done. It was like my head wouldn't let me forget because the memory played on repeat.

I just gave him away.

No reward, no trade, no nothing.

I literally just gave my father up for absolutely nothing.

At this point, I just settled on the idea that I was bound to die. No one was going to help us. It was all a lost cause. I was a murderer, and that's the end of that story. I was hoping that Apsens' alliance would let all of the pieces start to fall into place, but instead it took all of those little pieces and sanded them down to dust. It took all of my little pieces and burnt them. Then, it burnt the ashes, too.

I was an idiot for thinking that Apsens would agree to help us.

"Kai, he's not going to kill your father. He isn't that dumb," Matteo said as we pulled into the parking lot of the pack house. I bit the inside of my lip not knowing how to respond.

"Why do you say that?" Was he just lying to make me feel better, or does he have some sort of secret intel that I'm unaware of?

"He knows that it would start a war with us," he clarified. My brows furrowed together in confusion as Matteo continued. "Parker may not be a pack member, but he is still your father. Ajax knows better than that." Does he, though? He pretty much lied to me. In my world, that's reason enough for him to die.

"Is that what I'm going to have to learn," I spat, recalling his words from earlier. You're new to this, Kaia. You'll learn. Matteo sighed. He took my hand and ran his thumb over the back of it. I knew he was trying to get me to calm down before we walked inside, so that not every pack member went into a panic over my anger.

"Ajax stays neutral because he knows how to play with the rules. Never breaks them, just walks the line which makes it incredibly difficult to start any sort of fight with him." My lip raises into a snarl as I thought about his devious little smile. He knew what he was doing from the moment we got there.

"So I'm going to have to learn that he's a manipulative prick," I barked, earning me yet another sigh.

"Yes, and he's good at it. Hence, why I don't get involved with him." We both remained silent for a moment. I had so much I wanted to say. I could feel it on my tongue, but I didn't know what it was. I couldn't put any of it into words.

"So, you don't think he'll kill my dad?" I wanted a genuine answer, and I was hoping that by the vulnerability in my voice that Matteo would understand that.

"There isn't a doubt in my mind. He wouldn't risk it."

_______

10/16/19