Dipper's POV

We were in the living watching a show called Duck-tective. Mabel had invited (y/n) to watch it with us.

Constable: *tv* I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir. My men have examined the evidence and this is obviously an accident.

Duck-tective: *tv, in quacks* Accident, Constable? Or was it... murder?!?!?

Constable: What?!?!?!?

Announce: *tv* Duck-tective will return after these messages.

Mabel: That duck is a genius...!!!

Dipper: Eh, I bet it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground.

Mabel: Are you saying you can outwit Duck-textive?!?

You: Pine Hat just doesn't want to admit that Duck-textive is better than him.

Dipper: Hey!!! I have very keen powers of observation!!! For example, just by smelling your breath I can tell that you have been eating *sniffs* an entire tube of toothpaste?

Mabel: It was so sparkle...

You: Hey, now your insides are clean!

Soos: *slides in* Hey dudes!!! You'll never guess what I found!!!

Dipper: Buried treasure!!!

Mabel: Buried- hehey!!! *playfully pushes Dipper* I was gonna say that!!!

You, Dipper, and Mabel: *follow Soos through a dark hallway and to a door*

Soos: So I was cleaning up when I found this secret door hidden behind the wallpaper! It's crazy bonkers creepy...!

We enter the room. It was filled with weird wax statues of people throughout history. It gave me a weird creepy vibe.

Dipper: Whoa, it's a secret wax museum...!!!

Mabel: They're so lifelike...!!!

Dipper: Except for that one.

???: Hello!!!

You, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos: AHH!!!

Stan: It's just me!!! Your Grunkle Stan!!!

You, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos: AHHHHHH!!!! *run out the room*

~when they come back in~

Stan: Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum. It was one of my most popular attractions!!! Before I forgot all about it. I got'm all!!! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, *looks at Larry King* Some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?

Dipper: Ewgh, is anyone else getting the creeps here?!?

You: *raise your hand*

Stan: And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over- *sees that's it a puddle of wax* Oh oh!!! Oh no!!! C'mon!!! Who left the blinds open?!? Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking at your direction!!! *kneels on one knee and picks up liquid wax with his finger, then sighs* How do you fix a wax figure?

Mabel: Cheer up, Grunkle Stan!!! Where's that smile~!!!

Stan: Eh.

Mabel: *pokes Stan* Beep bap boop!!!

Stan: Ow.

Mabel: Don't worry, Grunkle Stan, I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!!!

Stan: You really think you can make one of these puppies?

Mabel: Grunkle Stan, I am an arts and crafts master!!! Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?!? *tries to shake off the glue gum*

Stan: I like your gumption, kid!

Mabel: I don't know what that word means, but thank you!

Later on, (y/n) and I went to the room Mabel was at to check on. I was drinking a Pit Cola while (y/n)  had a bag of chips when...

Mabel: Guys!!!

Dipper: *chokes on his soda*

You: *snicker*

Mabel: What do you think of my wax figure idea?!? *shows you and Dipper a drawing* She's part princess, and part horse fairy princess!!!

You: It makes me want to take a melon baller and pull my eyes out.

Dipper: *elbows you*

You: What? Honesty is the best policy!

Dipper: M-maybe you should carve something from real life!

Mabel: *draws* Like a waffle, *shows you and Dipper* with big arms!!!

You: ...

Dipper: Y-ok, or something else. Like someone in your family.

Stan: *walks in* Kids, have you seen my pants? *stands in a "heroic" pose*

Mabel: *turns around* Oh muse, you work in mysterious ways...!!!

Stan: Why is your sister talking to the ceiling?

It took hours, but Mabel finally finished. Soos, Pine, and I were in the room with Mabel.

Mabel: I think it needs more glitter.

Soos: Agreed. *gives Mabel a bucket with glitter which she throws at the wax figure*

Stan: *walks in* I found my pants, but now I'm missing- Whoa whoa!!! *falls back*

Mabel: What do you think?!?

Stan: I think... the Wax Museum is back in business!!!

The next day Stan announced the grand reopening of the wax museum and everyone in Gravity Falls came, don't ask me why. (y/n) and I were working at the ticket booth.

Dipper: I can't believe this many people showed up!

You: I bet Stan bribed them or something.

Dipper: *pulls out a dollar from his vest* He bribed me.

You: *pull a dollar from behind your ear with a wink*

You and Dipper: *laugh*

Stan: *clears his throat and fixes the mic* You all know me, folks. Town darling Mr. Mystery. Please, ladies, control yourselves!!! As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlement, the lights of which the world has never known. But enough about me. Behold... *takes off a sheet revealing a Wax Stan statue* Me!!!

Soos: *plays winner music on his keyboard, then some Yeah noises*

Two Guys from Audience: *clap slowly and unamused*

Guy From Audience: *coughs*

Stan: And now a word from our own: Mabelangelo!!!

Mabel: *takes the mic* It's Mabel. Thank you for coming!!! I made this sculpture with my own two hands!!!! It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!!!

Audience: *make sounds of disgust*

Mabel: Hehe, yeah. I will now take questions!!! You there!!!

McGucket: Old Man McGucket: local kook. Are the wax figures alive and follow up question: can I survive the wax man uprising?

Mabel: Um... yes!!! Next question!!!

Toby: Toby Determined: Gravity Falls gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?

Stan: You're microphone's a turkey baster, Toby.

Toby: It certainly is-

Stan: Next question!!!

Shandra: Shandra Jimenez: a real reporter. Your fliers promised free pizza with admission to this event, is this true?

Audience: *complain*

Stan: ...that was a typo. Goodnight, everyone!!! *throws a smoke bomb and runs away*

Long story short, people were NOT that there was no free pizza.

(y/n) left about an hour after that, and at the time, Mabel and I were brushing our teeth, about to go to bed.

Mabel: Dipper, wanna do a toothbrush race?

Dipper: Ok.

Stan: *from downstairs* No, no, NOOO!!!

Dipper and Mabel: *run downstairs*

Stan: Wax Stan, he's been m- m- murdered!!!!

Wax Stan was laying on the floor without his head! Later on, the police came.

Stan: I get up to use the jot, right? And when I come back, blammo!!! He's headless!!!

Mabel: *kneeling down next to wax Stan* My expert handcrafting, besmirched. Besmirched!!!!!!

Dipper: *puts an arm on Mabel's shoulder* Who would do something like this...?!?

Durland: What's your opinion, sheriff Blubs?

Blubs: Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts, this case is unsolvable.

Dipper, Mabel, and Stan: WHAT?!?

Stan: You take that back, you take that back sheriff Blubs!!!

Dipper: You're kidding right? There must be evidence, motives. You know, I could help if you want.

Mabel: He's really good! He figured out who was eating our tin cans!

Dipper: All signs pointed to the goat.

Stan: Yeah yeah, let the boy help! He's got a little brain up in his head!

Blubs: Ooh, will you look at what we've got here! City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!

Durland: City boyyyy, city boyyyyy!!!!

Blubs: You are adorable!

Dipper: Adorable?

Blubs and Durland: *laugh*

Dipper: *glares at them*

Blubs: Look PJs, how 'bout you lave the investigating to the grownups, ok? *high fives Durland*

Policeman: *from the walkie talkie* Attention all units, Steve is gonna fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat: an entire cantaloupe.

Durland: It's a 23:16!!!

Blubs: Let's move!!!

Blubs and Durland: *leave*

Dipper: That's it!!! Mabel, we're gonna find the jerk who did this and get back that head!!! Then we'll see who's adorable. *does the most adorable sneeze ever😍*

Mabel: Aww!!! You sneeze like a kitten!!!

Dipper: *glares at Mabel*

The next morning, the investigation started.

Dipper: Stan has lost his head and it's up to us to find it.

Mabel: *snaps a few pictures*

Dipper: There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling, the murderer could have been anyone.

???: *behind Dipper, in a deep, menacing, scary whisper* It could even be one of us...~!

Dipper: AH!!! *falls back*

Mabel: *laughs*

Dipper: Wha- (y/n)!!!!!!

You: Sorry, but the chance was too good to pass up!

Dipper: *stands up with a huff* What are you doing here, anyways?

You: I was working, but this seems like a lot more fun.

Dipper: Detective business isn't fun, it's serious.

You: *mocking him with a high pitch cracking voice* "Detective business isn't fun, it's serious!"

Dipper: *turns red* I-I do NOT sound like that!!!

You and Mabel: Yes you do./Yeah you do!!!

Dipper: Just- whatever, back to the main problem here!

You and Mabel: *laugh quietly*

Dipper: *sighs before taking out his journal and searching through it* In this town, anything's possible. Ghost, zombies, could be months before we find our first clue.

You: Found something!

Dipper: Footprints in the shag carpet!

Mabel: That's weird, they've got a hole in them.

Dipper: And they're leading to... *looks behind the couch to see an axe*

You, Dipper, and Mabel: !!!

~skip to gift shop~

Dipper: So what do you think?

Soos: *examining the axe* In my opinion, this is an axe.

Mabel: Wait a minute, the lumberjack!!!

Dipper and Mabel: Of course!!!

Dipper: He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza!!!

Mabel: Furious enough for murder!!!

Soos: Oh, you mean Manly Dan! He hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown.

You: I've been there a few times, easy to get to.

Mabel: Then that's where we're going!

Soos: Dude, this is awesome!!! You three are like the Mystery Trio!!!

Dipper: Don't call us that.

You, Dipper, and Mabel: *pack some things before going outside to see Stan taking out a coffin from his car's trunk*

Stan: Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya? I'm doing a memorial service for wax Stan, something small but classy.

Dipper: Sorry, Grunkle Stan, but we've got a big break in the case.

Mabel: Break in the case!!!

You: We're heading into town to interrogate a suspect.

Mabel: *takes the axe from Dipper's bag* We have an axe!!! Reek, reek, reek!!!

Stan: Seems like the kind of thing a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing. ...good thing I'm an uncle! Avenge me, kids, AVENGE ME!!!!!!

Once there, we were hiding around the corner.

You: This is the place.

Dipper: Got the fake IDs?

Mabel: *gives three ID cards to Dipper*

Dipper: *looks at Mabel with an Are You Serious? look*

You: *roll your eyes before walking over to the guard*

Dipper: *whispers* (y/n), wait!!! *runs after you followed by Mabel*

You: What up, Tats?!?

Tattoos: Hey (y/n), how're you doing?!?

You: Eh, same old same old. Is Dan around?

Tattoos: Yep, same place as always.

You: Thanks, T! *enter the place followed by the twins* Hey everyone!!!

Everyone: Hey (y/n)!!!

Dipper: Wha- How-?!?

You: I have my reasons for hanging out here.

Dipper: Let's just try to blend in.

Mabel: You got it, Dipping Sauce!!!

You: *nod at Dipper to follow you, then walk over to Manly Dan who's playing some strength game* Hey Manly Dan!

Manly Dan: Hey (y/n)!

You: Is it ok if we ask you some questions?

Manly Dan: Sure! *growls as he continues to play*

Dipper: Where were you last night?

Manly Dan: Punching the clock!!!

Dipper: You were at work?

Manly Dan: No, I was punching that clock!!! *points at a broken clock outside*

Dipper: Ten o'clock, the time of the murder...

You: *take the axe out of Dipper's axe* Put your lumberjack skills to the test. What do you know about this axe?

Manly Dan: All I know is that I would never use that axe!!!

You: How come?

Manly Dan: It's left handed!!! I only use my right hand!!! The manly hand!!! *rips out the arm of the game and beats it up with the arm*

Tyler: *walks over* Get'm, get'm!

Dipper: Left handed...

You: Thanks for your time, Dan! Tell Wendy we said hi!

You and Dipper: *walk over to Mabel who's playing (that weird origami fate paper game)*

Mabel and Guy: Three, four, five, six!

Mabel: *gasps slowly* Your wife is gonna be beautiful...!!!

Guy: Yes!!!

Dipper: Mabel, big break in the case!!!

You, Dipper, and Mabel: *run outside*

Dipper: *makes a list* It's a left handed axe. These are all our suspects. Manly Dan is right handed. That means all we gotta do is find our left hand suspect and we've got our killer!

Mabel: Oh man!!! We are on fire today!!!

You: *raise an eyebrow at Mabel*

Dipper: Let's find that murderer!!!

We spent all day going to all the people of Gravity Falls. All which turned out to be right handed. All except the last one. Mabel and I knew that they had to be the killer. We were at the suspect's house, Blubs and Durland now with us.

Blubs: You kids better be right about this, or you won't here the end of it.

Dipper: The evidence is irrefutable!

Mabel: It's so irrefutable!!!

Durland: I'm gonna have to use my mouth stick!!!

Blubs: Ready, little fella?!?

Blubs and Durland: *poke each ither with the sticks*

Dipper: On three! One, two, -

Durland: *kicks down the door*

Blubs: Nobody move!!! This is a raid!!!

Toby: *falls off his chair* What is this?!? Some sort of raid?!?

Dipper: Toby Determined, you're under arrest for the murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan!

Mabel: You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work!!!

Dipper and Mabel: *high five each other, then look at you expectingly*

You: *cross your arms, a bit suspicious about the situation*

Toby: Gobbling goose feathers, I don't understand!

Dipper: Then allow me to explain. You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline. But you were sloppy, and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoe reporter who was caught left handed.

Mabel: Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news. *throws away the newspaper*

Toby: Boy, you're little knees must be sore. For jumping to conclusions! Ha-cha-cha! I had nothing to do with that murder.

Dipper: I knew it!!! Wait-

Dipper and Mabel: *in murmurs* Wha- what, what?

Mabel: Could you repeat?

Blubs: Then where were you the night of the break in?

Toby: *hesitates, but shows you all a video of him taking out a cardboard Shandra Jimenez and starts to kiss it*

All but Toby: *make disgusted noises*

Blubs: Time stamp confirms: Toby, you're off the hook, you freak of nature.

Toby: Hurray!!!

Dipper: But... but it has to be him!!! Check the axe for fingerprints!

Blubs: *checks for fingerprints* No prints at all.

Dipper: No prints?!?

Durland: Hey I got a headline for ya. City kids waste everyone's time.

Blubs, Durland, and Toby: *laugh*

Dipper and Mabel: *look away in embarrassment*

You: *look at them sympathetically*

Toby: Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was you three!!!

You: *take the tape of him, whispering* Blackmail...

We went back to the shack. Stan had already prepared the whole memorial, and the twins, Soos, and I were there.

Stan: Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming. Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself!

Soos: They're wrong!!!

Stan: Easy, Soos. Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven. I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eyes!!! *runs away crying*

Soos: *runs after Stan crying*

Dipper: *sigh* Those cops were right about me...!

You: Whoa, Pine Hat, we've come so far! We can't give up now!

Dipper: *walks to stands next to wax Stan's coffin* But I considered everything! The weapon, the motive, the clues! *sighs, then notices something in wax Stan's shoe* Wax Stan's shoe has a hole in it.

Mabel: All the wax guys have that. It's where the pool thingy attaches to their stand dealy.

Dipper: Wait a minute, what has holes in its shoes and no fingerprints?!? Mabel, the murderers are-!!!

???: Standing right behind you?

We turn around to see all of the wax statues moving!!! They were all alive!!!

Dipper: Wax Sherlock Holmes! Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?!?

Coolio: W'sup Holmes.

Wax Lizzie Borden: *takes the axe away from Mabel*

Mabel: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh...!

Holmes: Congratulations my three amateur sleuths, you've unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you.

Wax Figures: *walks closer to you, Dipper and Mabel*

Holmes: Bravo Dipper Pines, you've discovered our little secret. *pulls out wax Stan's head* Applaud everyone, applaud sarcastically!

Wax Figures: *clap*

Holmes: No, that sounds too sincere. Slow clap.

Wax Figures: *clap slower*

Holmes: Nice and condescending.

Dipper: But... how is this possible?!?

You: Yeah, you're made of wax!!!

Mabel: Are you... magic?!?

Holmes: *laughing* Are we magic? She wants to know if we're magic! *punches the area next to you as you move* We're cursed!!!

Wax Figures: Cursed!!!

Holmes: Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale.

Coolio: A haunted garage sale, son!

~flashback~

Seller: I must warn you, these statues come at a terrible price.

Stan: *looks at the price tag* Twenty dollars?!? I'll just take'm when you're not looking.

Seller: What?

Stan: I said I was gonna rob ya.

~end of flashback~

Holmes: And so the Mystery Shack wax collection was born. By day we would be the playthings of men.

Coolio: But when you're uncle went to sleep, we would rule the night.

Holmes: It was a charmed life for us cursed beings. That is, until you're uncle closed up shop. We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away. But we got the wrong guy.

Dipper: So you were trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?!?

Mabel: You were right all along Dipper, wax people are creepy!

Holmes: Enough!!! Now that you know our secret, you must die.

Dipper and Mabel: *back away eventually bumping into a table as the wax figures walk to them*

Mabel: What do we do?!? What do we do?!?

Dipper: I dunno!!!

You: Throw anything you can find?!?

You, Dipper, and Mabel: *start throwing whatever's on the table*

Dipper: *throws a coffee container at Genghis Khan, melting his face a little*

Mabel: That's it! We can melt them with hottie melty things!!!

You, Dipper, and Mabel: *grab an electric candle each*

Wax Figures: *back away*

You: Anyone moves and we'll melt you into candles!!!

Mabel: Decorative candles!!!

Holmes: You really think you can defeat us?

Mabel: It's worth the shot, I guess.

Dipper: Eh, I don't- I'm not sure.

You: *shrug*

Holmes: So be it! Attack!!!

We try and avoid all the wax figures, getting whatever chance we could to attack ourselves. It wasn't easy...

Dipper: *cuts Groucho Marx in half* Joke's on you Groucho!

Groucho: I've heard about a cutting remark but this is ridiculous. Hey, why's there nothing in my hand?

Genghis: *runs towards Dipper*

You: *push Dipper out of the way*

Genghis: *jumps into the fireplace and burns*

Dipper: Thanks (y/n).

You: Don't mention it.

Mabel: Look out!!!

Holmes: *puts Stan's head on a rhino's horn and takes a sword* Alright, let's get this taken care of.

(y/n) stood in front of me and started fighting with Holmes. But unfortunately, he kicked her gut and made her loose her balance. I tried to help her, but he blocked my way, forcing me fight.

Eventually I led him out the window, and while fighting I accidentally knocked down the S of Mystery Shack. I was able to climb across the roof and hide behind the chimney. Thinking I was safe, I let out a sigh of relief when he kicked me gut making me fall close to the edge.

Holmes: Any last words? *raises his sword to attack*

Dipper: Um... you got any sunscreen?

Holmes: Got any-? What? *notices his hands starting to melt, then sees the sun rising as he lets out a gasp* ...no.

Dipper: You know, letting me lead you outside? Probably not your sharpest decisions.

Holmes: Outsmarted by a child in short pants?!? No!!! *starts to melt away* Fiddlesticks!!! Humbugs!!! Tiiter, total kerfufle!!! Butter hullabaloo!!! *everything but his face melts*

Dipper: Case closed! *claps the dust off his hands making him sneeze (adorably)*

Holmes: *laughs* You sneeze like a kitten! Those policemen were right, you're adorable! Adorable!!! *falls to the ground completely melted*

Dipper: ...eew. *gasp* (y/n)!!!

I ran downstairs to see (y/n) using the wall to stand up and Mabel standing up as well. I quickly went over and grabbed her arm, wrapping it around my shoulders and allowing her to use me for balance.

Dipper: A-are you ok-k?!?

You: Yeah, just feels like I have a hole on my stomach. But I can walk. *pull away*

Dipper: Hey, uh... thanks for protecting me back there...

You: No prob.

Mabel: Dipper, (y/n)!!! You're both ok!!! You solved the mystery after all!!!

Dipper: *grabs wax Stan's head* Well, I couldn't have done it without my sidekick.

Mabel: No offense, Dipper, but you're the sidekick.

Dipper: What? Says who? Are people saying that? Have you heard that?

You: *chuckle*

Stan: *enters* Hot Belgian waffles!!! What happened to my parlor?!?

Mabel: Your waxed figures turned out to be evil so we fought them to the death!

Dipper: I decapitated Larry King.

Stan: Haha, you kids and you're imaginations!

You: On the bright side, look what we found.

Dipper: *shows Stan wax Stan's head*

Stan: My head, haha!!! I missed this guy!!! You done good kids!!! Alright, lime up for some affectionate noogying!

Mabel: Uh...

Dipper: I'm not so sure about that...

Stan: *hugs them and noogies their heads*

You: *back away slowly*

Stan: Where do you think you're going? *grabs your wrist and pulls you into the hug, noogying you*

You, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan: *laugh*

A police car pulls up in front of the window. Sheriff Blubs rolled down the window, coffee in hand, with Deputy Durland on the passenger seat.

Blubs: Solved the case yet boy? I'm so confident you're gonna say no that I'm gonna take a long slow sip from my cup of coffee. *starts to take his sip*

Dipper: Actually the answer's yes. *shows them wax Stan's head*

He spits his coffee on Durland's face making him scream. Durland did the same to Blubs which he returned. This went on for a while before they left and we laughed some more.

You: So did you get rid of all the wax figures?

Mabel: I am ninety nine percent sure that I did!!!

Dipper: Good enough! *high five Mabel*

Thanks for reading!!! 'Till next time!!!

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