𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐄𝐍.

❝ would it be enough if i could never give you peace? ❞

Carolyn Levy has always loved Bucky Barnes. That was just how the world worked. Clouds nurtured the ground every rainfall, fire kindled plumes of smoke, and Carolyn was by Bucky's side. He was her moon, her light when everything else was dim, and she was his star. They were each other's solace in a world of nighttime, and it was an often unspoken promise that where there rested a need, there would also rest a hand to hold.

But she never envisioned that she'd love him like that. Carolyn, Steve, and Bucky had been friends since the moment they'd found each other, and that was all it was ever supposed to be. A friendship wound so tight that it was reminiscent of family, not a friendship so consumed by daydreams that she dreamt of something more tender. She despised him for it. He was supposed to simplify her life ―  make it easier to persevere through, not complicate it. So she despised, and she loved in secret, and she pretended.

And he left.

A leaf torn from its branch by the wind, the United States Army's draft took Bucky's hand and guided him down a different path from the one he had planned. With the newfound void in her life, Carolyn began to feel herself drown in its inky waters. Its ebony grip began to suffocate her until the ghosts of her past returned ― her runaway mother, her absent brother ― and the void was able to wrap its viscous tendrils around her throat without Bucky's footprints there for her to step in. To follow.

Carolyn desperately wants to know him in a different manner, to chase the desire that made her realize just how blue his eyes were, but she knows her intimacy is a toxin. She knows this like she knows her own reflection: her past will never let her go. And if she poisons Bucky's shoulders with the burdens that weigh on her own, she will become a demon disguised as a lover.

She will become a monster among men.

( featuring... )

yael grobglas as CAROLYN LEVY

❝ i've spent my whole life begging people to love me, but i never had to ask you once ❞

✧

sebastian stan as JAMES 'BUCKY' BARNES

❝ it's me and you, carrie. it has to be, because every time i imagine what my future will be like, it's you who's right there beside me ❞

✧

keanu reeves as KENNETH 'KEN' ANDREWS

❝ you are the most stubborn person i've met, yes, but that's part of what makes you so strong ❞

✧

kate beckinsale as MARGARET FLORES

❝ i never said i needed him. i don't need any man, they're just nice to have every now and then ❞

✧

chris evans as STEVE ROGERS

❝ you may not see it now, but i saw it even before he did. bucky would do anything to make you happy. he just hasn't figured out how to show you ❞

( & the rest of the 'warring divinities' cast as their respective characters )

( a part of the 'warring divinities' series )

author's note. this book is a part of my series based upon the marvel cinematic universe, but it is not necessary, merely suggested, that you read the other books in addition to this one. also! yael grobglas is an israeli actress, so i chose her last name accordingly and her character's backstory has been planned in a similar fashion, but if i slipped up on anything regarding the accuracy of this, i am begging you guys to come to me and correct me!

disclaimer. the format being used for this book is of my own creation, meaning any similarities between it and the formats of other books are completely accidental and coincidental, so please don't confront me regarding any issues related to formatting. that being said, please don't steal this format. if you really want to use it, simply ask permission and i will most likely say yes.

warnings. due to the atmosphere of this story and the background of the characters within it, there will possibly be some graphic depictions of violence, blood, and gore. also, sensitive subjects such as grief, loss, and manipulative behavior will be lingered on. if any of this makes you uncomfortable, i'd highly suggest that you would avoid reading this book. i will give no further warning.

dedications. this story is dedicated first and foremost to reggiesimp. there you go, you got your own sentence, i hope you're happy stinky. but also to some other good friends of mine: daniellawrites02, pseudonym-lux, dunbonnet, posingposeys, faithrewarded, and i also wanted to give a special mention to hugswiththehood bc way back when the original version of this was published, she gave it so much attention and love and i'm so grateful for that.