AN: Hey y'all, I don't normally start with an author's note but I think this time it is important. This entire chapter is all Virgil's memories, so it's going to get a little weird and jumpy. Please let me know if you have any questions or if anything confused you.

Everything is crashing down on me, my chest feels tight and I know I should be pushing my way through this, trying to do the things that need to get done, but I couldn't. I can't. I can't escape the walls in my mind that are closing in around me. Where is the air? Why can't I breathe? What is happening?

I gasped for air as warm arms wrapped around me, but I didn't want to be touched. I didn't want to fight through this. Everything was blurry and hot. Pulling away my head hit the wall and I whimpered, the arms retreated. The world wasn't right. I could feel darkness grip me. This had happened before, but no one cared. Now, I could see Patton's concerned eyes staring at me. I wanted to tell him it was alright. I wanted to tell him that I was okay, but I couldn't compose myself, it all came out as a choked breath. I had gotten through this before, I could do it again.

"It's okay, It's okay, I'm here, and afterward we will have pancakes, okay? Just... I don't know... I don't know how to fix this, but I'm here."

No, he wasn't there. He was inside my head. I was in my cat form, exploring the forest and I could feel Patton's presence within me. The air was open, the fear before was gone. This was different. "Alright my little shadowling, just like a cat burglar. We are going to try to nab that plant and then get out of there okay?"

"Pat, it's weird having you in my head."

"I know, but that is why we are getting used to it. It's weird being able to see through you. It's a lower perspective."

"Don't call me short."

"No, of course not, it's just, you're a cat!"

I rolled my eyes, still creeping through the forest. "How do I know you are safe? You aren't looking around, you have your eyes closed."

"I'm in my bedroom, I'm okay, I promise. Besides as soon as you get that plant you can come home and check on me."

"Fine, Fine, Fine, but I'm not your errand dog."

"I know, you're a cat!"

"Patton!"

"I know Verge, this is just to practice. If you are ever lost I can use this to help find you. As long as you have your pendant, we can have this connection no matter how far apart we are." Somehow I knew that we were both afraid of me being taken. I could easily recall earlier memories. It had me distracted. I almost missed the sound of feet walking aimlessly through the forest, but I wasn't so careless to completely miss it. Darting up into the tree I looked down at the bloodied human, hissing as I saw him.

Humans, all they did was destroy. "I'm going to ditch this human and get back to you. It isn't safe."

"No, I'm coming to you, Virge. He's injured and needs help." I could smell the blood. I knew he was injured, but humans weren't worth it.

"You know humans aren't the only thing you have to be worried about."

I quickly turned around to look at Deceit. Where had the tree gone? No, that was years ago? Why was my brain so scattered?

The snake was standing just across the hall from me, looking at me with his piercing eyes. "You can't trust anyone. They say that they love you and they have been showing you kindness, but kindness is just a lie." I knew that sentence, it repeated in my head like a mantra, but I didn't want to believe it. I wouldn't believe it anymore. A light growl ripped through my lips. "You don't know that."

"Don't I? They will turn on you. You can only trust people who tell you their intentions, and you know mine. I only look out for myself." The snake pushed himself off the wall, turning away from me. "It would help you to learn that Virgil. Only look out for yourself."

I pushed myself into my room, closing my eyes as I tried to catch my breath. It wasn't true. Patton cared. Logan was my friend. Roman loved me. It was true. They all loved me....

Then why weren't they here?

If they loved me I wouldn't be standing here alone. I wouldn't be hiding in my room. I would be going to them for reassurance. They loved me, and I could prove it. I just had to open my door and find Patton. Did I really believe that they cared?

Clawing at my arm, I slid down the door, fighting back the tears that streamed down my face. He was probably right, but I wasn't ready to admit it. I wasn't ready to give up.

But I was. I was ready to give up. Pain radiated from every inch of my body. I could feel the harsh chains biting into my flesh, but I was numb to the sensation. How long had I been here? I didn't have my pendant, I had no connection to my friends, my family, my love. I had no reason to hold on. Why did I keep fighting?

"Finally beginning to understand?" I heard a voice slipping into my head, pulling at the last threads of defiance I had. "I can see the light fading it. Give up, you have always belonged here, and you will always belong under my feet."

I closed my eyes, trying to slide into dark oblivion as I felt another crack of a whip against my skin. I didn't have the strength or energy to fight out or cry. I didn't even have the strength to whimper. All that awaited me was the sweet embrace of unconsciousness.

So why was I awake? Why were my hands working at the lock as if I knew what I was doing? It was as if something had possessed me. I didn't fight it. I let my body unlock the door and my feet began to move. I didn't look back at the others. I didn't think as insults were shouted my way, and the sound of feet came running after me. My body turned, again of its own volition, speaking words I didn't know and the floor filled with oil behind me. I ran. Each step hurt but I didn't care. I let my body move on its own.

I ran away from that place, into a dense forest where the branches cut at my feet and the cold nipped at my flesh, but I didn't mind. I ran and ran and ran. I didn't know where I was going, but the presence in my head was gone. It had given me freedom. I had to keep running.

'No, go back, you are a bad cat, you deserve to be punished.' Just a voice in my head. Shouldn't listen.

Forward.

I have to go forward.

This I remembered, things I knew, places that seemed familiar, memories I remembered.

"I will wipe you." I could hear the words, but I couldn't hear the rain. Those words again but in a different time. Why couldn't I remember it before, how could I remember it now?

I shot up in bed. My head was still reeling as I tried to make sense of everything I remembered. Things were still muddled and my memory was still hazy but it was all there, at least, I thought it was all there. There was a gap, something I wasn't remembering quite right, but I had never questioned it before.

"Virgil, are you awake." I turned to look at the bleary-eyed prince, still trying to wake from his slumber. My thoughts would have to wait. A smile crossed my face as I went to push his hair back but then the memories came clawing back up.

'He doesn't love you. He doesn't care. He left you there to rot.'

No, I knew that wasn't true, but I couldn't help it as my body shot back, breaking my hand from his. He had shown that he cared in this past week. Still, my body trembled further as he reached out for me.

"Virgil..."

"St-Stop... let me... let me get through this."