--inspired by Shirley Jackson's "Charlie"--

Hyunwoo set his suitcase on the bed, looking around the room and letting the memories wash over him. He'd lived in this room for eighteen years. Then he'd gone off to college, had looked at a few jobs, had even picked out an apartment in the city, and now, six years later, the room was the same, seemingly untouched; the bed was still made, there were still a few papers on his desk informing him that he'd been accepted to their university. A baseball sat on the shelf from the last game he'd played on his high school team.

One thing was new, he realized as he looked back down at the bed, picking up a handwritten note.

Hyunwoo –

Hyungwon gets off school at 3. Don't worry about picking him up; he takes the bus home. He should be home around 3:30. He doesn't get a snack before dinner or he'll have no appetite. We usually have dinner around 5:30. My recipe box is in the cabinet next to the refrigerator if you need any ideas on what to cook. You can have Hyungwon help you, but he'll probably make it worse. He's lazy so please remind him to pick up his room from time to time and don't hesitate to make him help out with chores.

Please call us if you have any problems! Thanks again for coming back to watch him for a bit.

Love,

Mom & Dad

Hyunwoo checked the time on his phone. 2:15. He still had over an hour before Hyungwon got home. An hour to figure out ahead of time what he was supposed to say to his 14-year-old kid brother whom he hadn't seen in two years.

--

The door clicked shut softly, causing Hyunwoo to sit up straight in the kitchen chair. He'd spent the past hour planning out how he would greet him, deciding to go with a casual approach. A hug was too much; he didn't want to overwhelm Hyungwon. And they hadn't hugged in a long time. Hyunwoo couldn't remember the last time. It would be weird if he hugged Hyungwon.

"Hey," came a soft voice from the kitchen entrance, and Hyunwoo realized he'd zoned out again. He'd meant to greet Hyungwon first, now it was all messed up and he wasn't quite sure what to do.

"Um, hi," Hyunwoo said after a moment, wanting to smack his forehead. "How...how was school?"

"It was fine," Hyungwon replied, passing by Hyunwoo to go peek in the fridge.

"Oh," Hyunwoo mumbled, pulling the already crumpled note out of his pocket and smoothing it out on the table, scanning the words to reassure himself. "Um, Hyunwon, it says here- well, Mom said it- that you're not supposed to have an afterschool snack."

Hyungwon turned around to give Hyunwoo a weird look, cookie already sticking halfway out of his mouth.

"But, um, I mean, that's fine," Hyunwoo mumbled, shoving the note back in his pocket as Hyungwon shut the fridge, slipping another cookie into his palm. "I won't tell, okay?"

Hyungwon gave Hyunwoo another weird look at the prospect of him long-distance calling their parents in America to let them know that Hyungwon was sneaking cookies.

"Dinner's at 5:30," Hyunwoo said, turning around to catch a glimpse of Hyungwon's back disappearing up the stairs, his socked feet soundless against the carpeted steps.

--

At 5:29, Hyunwoo knocked against Hyungwon's door, the music from inside seeping out into the hallway. Hyunwoo couldn't make out the words, but it sounded like heavy metal to him. "Hyungwon? Dinner's ready, so..." Getting no response, he tested the knob, finding it unlocked, and he opened the door, the music growing in volume as he stepped inside. Hyungwon was lying face-down on the bed, covers pulled up to his ears, music coming from the nearby speaker.

Hyunwoo winced at the volume, going over and lowering it before turning to his younger brother and shaking his shoulder gently. "Hyungwon, it's time for dinner," he said again, trying to keep his tone gentle so he didn't annoy him.

"I'm not hungry," came the muffled reply as he pulled the covers farther over his head.

The note came back to Hyunwoo, reminding him that he could have avoided all this trouble if only he'd followed his mom's directions, and he sighed. "Come on, bud. I let you have a snack so you have to eat dinner, all right?"

"You're not my mom," Hyungwon groaned, receding farther into the mattress. "And you're not my uncle either so don't call me 'bud.'"

Hyunwoo gave Hyungwon one final chance before he pulled the duvet off Hyungwon's thin form, causing him to shrink back from the sudden exposure to light. "Dinner, now."

Hyungwon grumbled out something that sounded like "Fine," and Hyunwoo nodded in satisfaction before leaving Hyungwon's room and taking a seat at the kitchen table. Hyungwon joined him five minutes later, his half-lidded eyes fluttering as he sank into the chair across from Hyunwoo.

"So, how was school?" Hyunwoo asked, trying to create light conversation to get Hyungwon to forget how he'd practically dragged him out of bed.

"You already asked me that," Hyungwon reminded him, staring at him blankly.

"Oh. Right." Hyunwoo hesitated, trying to think of what he was supposed to say. Hyungwon was ten years younger than him. He had no idea what Hyungwon liked, what any kids liked anymore.

"You don't have to babysit me, you know," Hyungwon spoke up abruptly, his eyes starting to look more awake as he shifted in his chair. "I can take care of myself. You can just tell Mom and Dad that I'm doing fine every now and then, and you can go back to living in your fancy city apartment. They'll never know."

Hyunwoo stared at him skeptically. "Do you really dislike me that much?" he asked, feeling surprisingly hurt by the comment, and Hyungwon turned his face away. His profile revealed how angular his face was, and Hyunwoo realized that it wasn't just his face, it was his whole body, all very thin and pointy and sharp. Bones he hadn't fully grown into yet. A thin, spider-like frame, delicate and awkward.

"No," Hyungwon said softly. He still wasn't looking at Hyunwoo. "Just- aren't you busy?"

Hyunwoo blinked, surprised. He remembered how it had been, growing up with two working parents. A kiss on the cheek at morning, a kiss on the forehead at night. Dinner together if they were lucky. "Mom and Dad are pretty busy, aren't they?" he asked slowly, watching as Hyungwon's face pinched.

"It's fine, I don't care," Hyungwon mumbled, and Hyunwoo frowned, wanting to reach across the table and ruffle his hair or pat his back, but it still felt like they were strangers, and strangers didn't do things like that.

"Well, I'm not going to leave you alone," Hyunwoo said, and Hyungwon tensed, his face closing off again.

"You don't have to stay just because Mom said–"

"No, I want to be here. I want to spend time with you," Hyunwoo answered, and Hyungwon was stunned into silence, mouth hanging open slightly as he finally looked over at Hyungwon, his eyes dark with confusion.

"Okay," he said after a moment, looking down at his empty plate. "Do I still have to eat dinner?"

"Yes."

--

It was more than just an age gap that separated Hyunwoo and Hyungwon. Hyunwoo's parents had hit a rough patch in their marriage when Hyunwoo was around nine years old. He forgot about it sometimes because they were still together after all this time.

But Hyungwon was a reminder of that time, with his delicate features – features foreign to Hyunwoo's father.

Hyunwoo didn't know what happened to Hyungwon's father. He didn't know how his mother had met him or what about him drew her in. But then Hyungwon was born. Hyunwoo's mother didn't try to lie. She admitted that she'd made a horrible mistake, and that the result of that mistake was Hyungwon. But it didn't matter to Hyunwoo's father. He had accepted Hyungwon as though he were his own son. But he wasn't, and even if Hyunwoo's father forgot, Hyunwoo didn't know if Hyungwon ever did.

--

"How was school?" Hyunwoo asked as Hyungwon came in, sitting down at the kitchen and staring at the apple Hyunwoo handed to him in distaste before taking a bite.

"It was school," Hyungwon responded without enthusiasm. He took another bite of the apple before setting it down on the table and getting up, opening the fridge.

Hyunwoo sighed and picked up the apple, debating between throwing it away and eating the rest of it (he hated to waste). "What about you friends? Tell me about them," Hyunwoo said, finally giving up and tossing the apple into the trash. He had a feeling that Hyungwon would look at him weird if he finished it.

"Why do you want to know?" Hyungwon asked, turning and giving him a look.

"Just–" Hyunwoo sighed but managed to resist the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. He already felt like he was a parent. Why was it so hard to just be brothers? To be the cool older sibling that let the younger one get away with everything? "Tell me about one kid in your class, just one, and then I'll stop asking. For today."

"Fine," Hyungwon said, exhaling deeply. "There's this guy, Shin Hoseok."

"Are you guys friends?"

"Sort of? We're not enemies. Maybe we're friends, I don't know."

"All right, tell me more about Hoseok," Hyunwoo said, finally feeling like he was getting somewhere. They were finally telling each other personal details. One could even consider them to be bonding.

Hyungwon rested his elbow on the kitchen counter, propping up his chin. "There's not much to tell. He's just a kid in my class. He's sort of quiet. Some of the other kids pick on him a little bit. I try to stick up for him but like I said, we're not really friends."

"Well, that's still nice of you," Hyunwoo tried, but Hyungwon just shrugged as if to say "I guess."

"They stole his math homework so I let him copy off mine, only he said he wouldn't – he gets kind of stubborn – and then I got in trouble anyway just for offering and he got in trouble because he didn't have his."

"Do you want me to talk to your teacher?" Hyunwoo asked, lips sealed in a frown. He felt bad for this Shin Hoseok kid, but he didn't want his own brother being punished for his problems.

"Nah, it's fine. It's not that big of a deal," Hyungwon said, grabbing a cookie and noticing Hyunwoo's disapproving stare. Slowly, he put the cookie in his mouth, raising an eyebrow at Hyunwoo to see what he would do about it.

Hyunwoo just sighed (again). He felt like in the 24 hours he'd been in his old home, he'd grown several gray hairs and aged a few years. "If you don't finish your dinner tonight, you're doing the dishes," he warned, turning back to face the kitchen table, and he heard footsteps thumping up the stairs as an acceptance of his terms.

--

They fell into a sort of rhythm. Hyungwon would get home from school, Hyunwoo would ask him about school, Hyungwon would tell him about his day (which more often than not involved the Shin Hoseok that Hyunwoo had begun hearing more and more about), Hyungwon would sneak a snack he wasn't supposed to eat, Hyunwoo would pretend not to see, and they'd both spend some time alone before dinner. Then Hyungwon would (be forced to) finish his meal and help Hyunwoo wash and dry dishes.

Hyunwoo didn't know if they were getting any closer, but he didn't feel like they'd grown any more distant.

The door slammed shut and Hyunwoo looked up from the table, tucking his pen in his crossword book. "Hyungwon, you shouldn't slam–" Hyunwoo stopped when he took in Hyungwon's appearance: hair, dripping; shirt, wet and clinging to his birdlike frame; shoes, squelching against the floor.

"Hang on," he mumbled, standing up quickly and grabbing a few towels from the bathroom. He draped one over Hyungwon's shoulders and put one over his head, rubbing in an attempt to dry his hair. "Let's get your shoes off, we can't put them in the dryer or they'll shrink so we'll have to air dry them."

Hyungwon just went along willingly, a surprise Hyunwoo didn't comment on as he continued drying Hyungwon's hair. After a few minutes, he was satisfied enough with his progress to send Hyungwon upstairs to change into dry clothes. While he was doing so, Hyunwoo took a peek out the window to confirm what he'd already known.

Clearly, sunny skies.

More footsteps on the stairs, growing louder this time. Hyungwon, towel still on his head, moved towards the fridge, going to open it, but Hyunwoo stopped him, holding out a cookie.

Hyungwon looked down at Hyunwoo's hand, staring at the cookie before looking up and staring at Hyunwoo's eyes.

"Just for today," Hyunwoo said, as if he hadn't already given in every previous day, and Hyungwon took the cookie wordlessly, popping it into his mouth.

Ask him.

Don't ask him.

Ask him.

Don't-

"So, why were you all wet?" Hyyunwoo asked, immediately biting his tongue but trying to play it off casually. He couldn't take the question back now, so he might as well go with it. Even if he felt like he was nagging at him.

"Do you know that pond behind the school?" Hyungwon asked, his words slightly muddled by cookie.

Hyunwoo nodded.

"Those kids pushed Hoseok in, only he can't swim and there wasn't a teacher so I had to go in and pull him out," Hyungwon finished, licking the crumbs off his finger and looking over at Hyunwoo as though debating asking for a second cookie while Hyunwoo was being lenient.

Hyunwoo, however, wasn't concerned about the food but rather what Hyungwon had told him. "Hyungwon, that's bullying."

"Hasn't it always been?" Hyungwon asked, tilting his head as though he didn't understand.

"Okay, but the math homework thing- I mean, sure, that was wrong of them to do but nobody got hurt. This is serious, Hyungwon. Hoseok could have drowned if you hadn't jumped in after him."

Hyungwon stared at Hyunwoo, blinking. "Yeah, okay, well, so what?"

Hyunwoo's frown deepened. He'd always had a very clear sense of right and wrong. Something about Hyungwon's flippancy frustrated him, ran against his own nature. "What do you mean, so what? You're his friend, you should–"

"I am not his friend," Hyungwon cut in, his eyes angry for reasons Hyunwoo couldn't understand. "I don't have to do anything for him."

"But you can't just stand by–"

"I've done enough," Hyungwon interrupted again, his voice growing higher in pitch as he grew more upset, waving his hands in the air, his eyes bright with fury. "I don't owe him anything. We aren't friends. He doesn't owe me anything."

"Hyungwon–"

Hyungwon brushed past him, and Hyunwoo stood up belatedly, reaching out to grab his elbow, but Hyungwon darted out of reach, and Hyunwoo was left with empty air between his fingers.

He opened his mouth to say something, but he realized it was pointless. Hyungwon was already up the stairs, and even if he wasn't, he'd ignore him anyway before turning on his loud music to drown him out.

He sighed, unsure as to what to do. He wasn't a parent. He had no idea when to push and when to let go.

He picked up his phone a moment later, scrolling through his contacts to find Mom USA#, and a few seconds later, the phone was ringing against his ear.

"Hi sweetie!" came the overly loud reply, and Hyunwoo winced, holding the phone several inches away from his ear. He'd inherited his father's quiet nature, and even now, he had a hard time adjusting to his mother's energetic self. "How is everything going? Is Hyungwon behaving okay?"

"Hi, Mom," Hyunwoo greeted, taking a second to settle in. "Yeah, it's going all right here, just I had a question about–"

"Chicago is great!" she yelled back, laughing, and her voice faded for a second as she pulled the phone away from her mouth. "Isn't that right, honey?" Her voice grew louder once more as she addressed him again. "You'll have to come sometime, Hyunwoo. The city is amazing. So much to do, so much to see!"

"That sounds great, Mom, but–"

"I know Hyungwon can be a handful," she rambled on over him, "but he's a sweet kid, he just doesn't show it that often. Oh, that's right! He's got parent-teacher conferences next week and obviously we can't go–" Another drawn out pause for laughter. "You can't forget, all right?"

"All right but Mom–"

"Oh, sorry sweetie, I've got to go! Our show is about to start! Love you!"

"Love–"

Hyunwoo sighed, pulling the phone away from his ear after the beeping had started, signaling that she'd hung up. He still didn't know what to do about Hyungwon. He still felt that, even if they weren't friends, he was responsible for at the very least reporting the bullying. Hyunwoo didn't want Hyungwon to get hurt, but he didn't like the thought of him standing by negligently, either.

Maybe he'd bring it up at the parent-teacher conferences.

--

"How was your day?" Hyunwoo asked from the bathroom, straightening his tie and eyeing his hair. He could try to put gel in it, but gel had never worked particularly well for him before and he had no reason to believe it would work well now, so...better to leave it out, then. He couldn't really remember what the dress code for these things was, but he wanted to make a good impression.

"It was fine," Hyungwon said from the kitchen, and Hyunwoo stepped out of the bathroom, following his voice. Hyungwon was standing at the edge of the kitchen, just staring down at the kitchen table. He made no move to grab a cookie, and that's what tipped Hyunwoo off.

"Yeah? Everything okay bud?"

Normally, Hyungwon would tell him not to call him that, but he just stared downward with empty eyes. "Hoseok said...he's thinking about killing himself."

Hyunwoo's smile dropped, and he put a hand down on the kitchen counter. "He said that?"

"He said he was thinking about it."

"Hyungwon–"

"What do you think?" Hyungwon asked, looking up at Hyunwoo with unguarded eyes.

Hyunwoo's mouth hung open for a moment. "What do I...think?"

"Do you think he should?"

Hyunwoo stared at Hyungwon. He'd wondered for a while now why Hyungwon seemed so desensitized, so unempathetic. Had their parents never taken the time to teach Hyungwon how to care about others? Or had Hyungwon just been born that way, and he'd never noticed? "No, Hyungwon, I don't think he should."

"Why not?"

"What do you mean, why not?"

"I mean," Hyungwon paused, looking down at the table. He rested his fingertips on the top as though the table were water and he were spreading five small ripples out into the vast sea. "He's not happy. The kids at school pick on him. He doesn't really have any friends. And high school is four years long, he still has a long way to go and it's not all just going to change. And life after high school isn't all that different. Different faces but the same people. He just wants it all to stop. Is that wrong?"

"Yes," Hyunwoo said, trying to keep his voice soft. He could tell that Hyungwon was confused, and he wanted to make sure that Hyungwon understand why it was so wrong. "Even if he doesn't think so, life gets better. And I'm sure there are lots of people who care about him."

"Not really," Hyungwon mumbled. "His parents aren't around a lot, and I told you he doesn't have any friends–"

"Then you be his friend," Hyunwoo said.

"I can't," Hyungwon whispered, something catching in his voice, and Hyunwoo opened his mouth to speak again when he saw the clock and realized he was late.

"Shit," he whispered, grabbing his wallet and keys off the counter. "Look, we're going to talk about this when I get back, okay?" he said, giving Hyungwon a stern look, but Hyungwon wouldn't meet his eyes. "Okay?"

"Okay," came the soft reply, and Hyunwoo hesitated for a moment, considering as he had many times before if it would be okay to give Hyungwon a hug, but in the end, he left, his arms empty.

--

"I'm sorry I'm late," Hyunwoo said immediately as he entered the room, and the teacher, a young woman in her mid-twenties, shook her head, waving him to sit down.

"You're fine," she said before looking down at the clipboard in front of her. "Are you here for Chae Hyungwon?"

"I am but there's something I need to say first," Hyunwoo said urgently as he took his seat, leaning forward, and she looked up with concerned eyes. "I believe you have another student in your class – Shin Hoseok?"

She hesitated before nodding, her brows furrowing up. "I do but what is this about?"

"Hyungwon's told me some things and- I'm a bit worried," Hyunwoo said, licking his lips before biting them, trying to slow his words down. "The math homework and the pond and just today he was telling me–"

"I'm sorry, the math homework? And the pond? What do you mean?"

Hyunwoo ran a hand through his hair, grateful that he hadn't put the gel in after all. "How some of your other students stole his homework and he didn't have any to turn in, and how those same kids pushed him into the pond after school one day."

The teacher tilted her head, tapping her bottom lip with her index finger, her face scrunched up a bit in thought. "Hoseok didn't get pushed in, he jumped in to save Hyungwon," she said, staring at Hyunwoo in confusion and growing doubt.

Hyunwoo stared at her, Hyungwon's words running through his head. "No, Hyungwon said–"

"Hyungwon is actually what I wanted to talk to you about," she cut in, her eyes dark with concern. "I've been trying to contact the guardians he has listed on file all semester, but I haven't been able to get ahold of them."

"They're in America," Hyunwoo uttered slowly, feeling dizzy. He leaned back in his chair, trying to replay all the conversations they'd had. Were all of them lies? Or only specific ones? Why had Hyungwon lied in the first place? "They're using different phones."

"Well, I've been worried about Hyungwon for a while now," she said. "He's getting picked on by the other students. It wasn't very serious in the beginning – boys their age tend to be a little mischievous and there's not much we teachers can do as long as it doesn't get too out of hand. But the kids are getting meaner, and Hyungwon – he's a sweet kid, really, but he doesn't really know how to defend himself, and–"

"What about Shin Hoseok?" Hyunwoo asked, swallowing as he blinked, trying to force himself to focus. "Aren't they friends?"

Her lips twisted as she considered the question. "I wouldn't say they're friends. Hoseok's just a good kid. The other students don't mess with him because he's well-liked."

"Why won't he be friends with Hyungwon?" Hyunwoo asked, feeling his anger from before resurface, only this time, it wasn't at Hyungwon, it was at the other kid. "If he knows how poorly Hyungwon is being treated, shouldn't he- shouldn't he look out for him? Shouldn't he–"

Hyunwoo cut off abruptly as he realized that Hyungwon probably hadn't been talking about Hoseok earlier. He'd probably been talking about himself.

He stood up, the chair toppling back from the sudden movement, and the teacher leaned back, startled.

"Wait, where–"

Hyunwoo was already gone.

--

Back when Hyunwoo had been a star baseball player in high school, there'd been a bridge in the forest behind the school that crossed over the creek and flowed into the pond. It had been a popular spot for lots of things. First kisses. Illegal alcohol. Drugs, for some kids.

And suicides.

Hyunwoo ran, faster than he'd ever rounded the bases in his sports years, faster than when he was running late for the subway to work. He left the building at a sprint, tie flying over his shoulder and constricting his neck. His fingers fumbled with the knot, loosening it before ripping it off entirely, tossing the tie over his shoulder.

He hit the woods and continued running along the faded path, obscured in some areas by leaves but still visible beneath in sporadic patches. His heart felt like it was going to burst. It pressed against his rib cage, striking with each beat in rhythm with his heavy breaths, and then he was there, at the bridge.

He slowed down once he saw him, exhaling forcefully. He wanted to tackle Hyungwon towards the center of the bridge, hold him down where he was safe far away from the edge, but he knew a mistake could tip fate against him.

He walked until he was standing behind Hyungwon, the younger boy sitting on the edge of the bridge, back against the metal support beam, feet kicking freely over the chasm below.

"You can't," Hyunwoo whispered, and even though he'd known that Hyungwon had known he was there, Hyungwon's shoulders still tensed. He didn't look back.

"Why not?"

"Because–" Hyunwoo panicked when he couldn't think of a reason straight away. "What about Mom and Dad?"

"They won't be back for another few weeks," Hyunwon mumbled. "It's not like they pay that much attention to me when I'm here anyway."

"What about Hoseok?"

"He's not my friend," Hyungwon said, familiar words but different from before somehow. Like he wasn't good enough to be friends with Shin Hoseok.

"What about me?" Hyunwoo asked softly. He'd been hesitant to ask. He didn't think he meant enough to Hyungwon for his existence to weigh on the younger boy one way or another, but he had to try.

"We aren't even brothers," Hyungwon said, and his feet stopped kicking, falling back and forth until they'd stopped completely.

"We're half-brothers," Hyunwoo said. It was weird because they'd never talked about it, and now they were, here, now. "What about the half we share?"

"What about the half we don't?"

"Well, you're my brother," Hyunwoo stated firmly. "You don't have to think of me as your brother if you don't want to, but you'll always be a brother to me."

Hyungwon was quiet for a long moment before mumbling, "You're more like my mom anyway."

"If I was Mom, I wouldn't let you have cookies for snack," Hyunwoo replied, and he crouched down behind Hyungwon, draping his arms over his shoulders and looping them in front of his chest. He hadn't hugged Hyungwon in years. It had just never felt right or appropriate given how little they knew each other. And even though Hyungwon looked to be all hard angles and sharp joints, hugging him wasn't painful at all. It was nice, comfortable.

Hyunwoo wished he would have hugged Hyungwon when he'd gotten home that first day, but he couldn't change the past, he could only affect change in the present.

"Good thing you're not Mom," Hyungwon mumbled back, and Hyunwoo laughed softly, pulling at his arms so Hyungwon was tugged back against his chest, his feet coming away from the edge and resting on the bridge.

"Indeed," Hyunwoo said, smiling before lying back against the bridge, letting Hyungwon lay on top of him. "But if I was, you'd be grounded, young mister."

Hyungwon laughed, the sound traveling through Hyunwoo's arms and chest and bringing a smile to his own lips. "I'd rather have you as my brother, thanks."

"You sure? You don't want me to ground you and take away your snacks?"

"No, thank you."

"All right," Hyunwoo said, letting his intertwined hands rest just over Hyungwon's slim stomach. "I'll be your brother then. And you'll be mine."

"Okay," Hyungwon agreed, letting his head rest against Hyunwoo's chest. It was funny how he'd felt so cold in the pond when the water had closed over his head and now, just a short distance away, he felt warmer than he ever had before.