monsta book 1 and 2 was so much better ohmygosh.

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santana's point of view

Shownu pouts as I throw out a draw four card.

Shownu: I hate this game.

I giggle and shake my head. He decided to have a chill day in the house with me. That included games, food, movies and lots of cuddles.

He's like a big teddy bear and I love it.

Me: Shownu?
Shownu: Yes.
Me: What was your first impression of me when we met!

He smiles.

Shownu: Uh, you were really nervous and I found that adorable. You seemed lost and afraid of the world so I wanted to help you.

__

I try to build the confidence to look them all in the eyes but once I look at the first man I almost pass out. I instantly look back down at my feet.

A soft chuckle makes me glance back up.

He has dark wavy grey hair. His lips are plump and his muscles are pretty toned. He smiles once he sees me analyzing him.

"She's shy, that's cute."

__

Shownu calls my name over and over, I blink before looking over at him.

Shownu: You zoned out, are you okay?
Me: Have you ever had a glitch?

He rolls his eyes.

Shownu: Is Jooheon going around telling people I'm a robot again?

I laugh while shaking my head.

Me: No, I keep having these random visions.
Shownu: Maybe it's your memory trying to come back.
Me: I hope so. I really want to remember you guys.

He smiles warmly at me, he pats a seat in his lap and I crawl into it. It dawns on me that this is one of the first times I'm hands on with any of them.

Shownu: Even if you don't remember the past we'll always be here to create new memories with you.

__

I walk past the boy Lee and frown. Everyone has been trying to get me to remember them some way or another.

Taeyun literally spent a hour throwing pretzels at me for some God awful reason.

Me: Hey.
Lee: Hey.
Me: Can we talk?

We walk out onto the patio to take a seat. The sun is beginning to set so everything is calm and peaceful, the sound of the ocean makes me want to fall asleep.

Me: What was our friendship like?
Lee: It was..

He pauses thinking of the right word to say.

Lee: Good.
Me: C'mon Lee, I'm trying to regain my memory. Lying wont help.
Lee: I'm not lying.
Me: Then why are you the only one not trying to get me to remember you?

He goes silent.

Lee: As I said, we were friends.

He sighs.

Lee: I use to have a huge crush on you but then I realized I could never have you. We stayed friends because I rather that then not having you in my life at all.
Me: Do you still have that crush?

He smiles while staring at the sky.

Lee: Certain things you do make my heart flutter, when you got hit by a car no one knows but at the hospital I had a panic attack. The thought of you not being around sent me in a horrible state.

My heart aches for the boy.

Lee: All I ever wanted was you and if I couldn't have that I just wanted you to be happy and you were. You were so happy with Monsta-x.

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I walk into the hotel and spot a familiar face, he sees me too and smiles.

"You again."
"You again."

He chuckles, faint dimples make a home on his face.

"I'm starting to think these meetings are destined."
"This isn't some kdrama."
"It can be."

He wiggles his eyebrows and I laugh.

__

Me: How do I know?
Lee: Know what?
Me: That I was meant to be with them?

He frowns.

Lee: Of course you were.
Me: I mean yeah, I have strong feelings for them I can feel it in my heart but it also flutters for you.
Lee: Santana you're confused, and..-

I place my lips against his.

The kiss is soft and slow. Full of emotion but not the right kind, it isn't right. The slide door opens and we pull away.

__

happy sunday