~Age of 17~

The night we snuck into the senior's party was the night everything changed between us.

We had joked about it, thrown around some comments on how badass it would be. I had never expected that we would actually do it.

That's why I wasn't looking forward to answering Jake's phone call that night. It was late, already dark outside. He wouldn't call unless something was urgent.

I picked it up anyway.

"Alex! The seniors are going crazy! We just have to party with them," he immediately told me. I should have known, but I didn't.

"And what if I'm already in my pajamas?" I wasn't, but it was worth a try. He surely wouldn't let me attend a party in sleepwear.

"You sleep naked."

Shit. This was what I got for lying to my best friend. He always knew just when my voice cracked.

"Jake," I sighed, dropping onto my bed. "I just don't think it's a good idea. Everyone will notice."

"So what?" he laughed, as though the drunk seniors wouldn't do anything if we crashed the place. "You only live once. I'll see you at your place in ten."

And the phone shut off. Jake usually wasn't pushy (unless he was drunk, but that rarely happened). It surprised me now, because under any normal circumstances he would just let it go and persuade me into watching a movie.

He really wanted to go.

Ten minutes later, the bell rang. I heard my parents greet him, but this time there was a sad note in mom's voice. I promised myself I would ask about it later.

First, I had to deal with an overexcited Jake. When he entered my room, it was obvious just how much trouble I would have that night. He was almost bouncing in joy while his eyes sparkled.

Now, before I get judged, it was hard to say no to such a cute person. It had always been hard saying no to Jake, but that night, it was impossible. He must have done something to his lips before he came over to my place—they looked so much more tempting to kiss than other days.

His freckles stood out against the yellow light in my room, and with the flower crown that I made that afternoon (and shockingly survived half a day on top of his head!) atop of that, he almost had me on my knees the moment he walked in.

I had had a crush on him for years at that moment. He was gorgeous, and he knew it, but not in the cocky way I did. He didn't go around flirting, he didn't drunkenly kiss at parties, he only ever smiled at me.

His smile, for me, became the definition of delight. Each time he would grin at me, or laugh at one of my jokes, this spark of energy would rush through my body. It would burn me up from the inside, starting in my veins and ending in my heart.

And when his green eyes met mine for the first time that evening, I longed to kiss him. To show him just how much I was in love with him, that none of the people I'd ever kissed in my life meant even a thousandth to me like he did.

Like the coward I was, I did not. I didn't dare. He was my best friend, there was no one else I was so close with. We had already decided on the same college, the same dorm room and the same hockey team. I would have ruined all of our future plans.

He took a step closer, that beautiful smile never fading. I was too entranced to notice his next step, until he continued them to the spot right in front of me. My breath caught in my throat.

Too close.

I could hear his breaths, see his smaller freckles, see the sparks of green that were his eyes and the brown curls that were in front of them. I could see how tight his shirt was, and how perfectly it hugged his biceps (how did I only notice that now?). I could smell his new cologne, but I could also smell him, and that was far more delicious than whatever expensive cologne he decided on wearing.

Whatever it had cost, it wasn't worth it. Jake smelled way better.

I only snapped out of my consuming thoughts when Jake flicked my head. He grinned even wider when he saw me getting out of my daze, and that almost brought me death and heaven.

"What are you thinking about? Who's on your mind?" He took a step back, eyes avoiding mine as he looked through my room. He did that often when he asked about someone I'd kissed, or looked at, or danced with. Sometimes, late at night and in episodes of desperation, of torment, I hoped that meant something. That maybe, the idea of me being with someone, anyone, else, made him as uncomfortable as it made me.

"No one's on my mind," I lied. It was useless; he could look right through me. Tonight, however, he didn't comment on it. Most likely, he just didn't want me to ruin his forbidden night with retellings of my adventurous thoughts.

"Alright, then let's go and have some fun," he encouraged, motioning with his hand for me to hurry up. I groaned, but kept it inaudible, because as much as I relented that stupid party he so desperately wanted to go to, I loved him more.

And if that was pathetic, I wouldn't care because Jake's proximity was enough support to go through these things.

"We won't stay for too long, right?" I had to be sure we wouldn't get into trouble; Jake didn't go to parties often, but when he did, it ended in either a fight or a skinny dip in the lake.

"Why would we stay for only thirty minutes?" was his response, making it awfully obvious in just how much trouble we were going to be in.

As we left, I thought I saw him watching me when I put on my shoes, but whenever I looked up, he quickly looked away. Maybe I was just so desperate I started imagining things now.

"Who else is going?" I asked, hiding deeper in my coat when I felt the chilly air of the night. Even though it was nearing summer, it was still cold at night. Another reason why I'd rather have stayed in and watched a movie with Jake.

The main reason was my room being a better place to attempt to kiss Jake, in the privacy and shadows, hidden from reality and judgement. I almost groaned at my own sappy thoughts. I needed distraction, and fast.

"Everyone else bailed on me before I could even call you," Jake pouted, but he didn't seem particularly mad or disappointed. We had always been better off with just the two of us, anyway. He knew that too.

"I'm hurt. I wasn't your first choice," I pouted too, knowing that, even though my mind was filled with all the ways I could never have Jake, I still had to act as just a best friend to him.

He grinned, turning his head so he looked up at the starry night. "You always are, Alex. Don't be dramatic."

I leaned into his side, resting my head on his shoulder. He tensed for a moment; I could not have explained why if I had to. But before he could ask, he slung his arm around me and smiled. "If you're so against the party, just think about all the people you could kiss. What are you in the mood for tonight. Boy or girl?"

My eyes landed on our feet, walking in sync. Of course, because why the hell wouldn't the signs tell me to go for it?

"A boy," I admitted. Except that, contrary to what he thought, I was not in the mood for any boy. I was in the mood for only one guy, and that was him.

We stopped in front of the house the party took place in. It was more of a mansion, but I didn't have the heart to care or find out.

Colored lights and lasers were visible through the windows, together with the dancing bodies and people drinking from a barrel. It looked fun, each of them had a long straw and they were clearly enjoying themselves.

Maybe if I was as drunk as them, I would find my lost courage and kiss Jake. Maybe not.

I was tired of this doubt.

Suddenly, Jake was silent. I turned to look at him, expecting him to be too invested in all the little stories through the windows to notice me. Except that he wasn't looking at the mansion or the party at all.

He was looking at me.

"Eh, don't you want to go in and have some fun?" I quietly asked, because I wasn't sure how much longer I could control myself if he kept looking at me that way.

"I am having fun," he retorted, and with that, ended our conversation. He took a step closer, and I took one backwards, until I was propped up against a tree. Here, the light coming from the party was dim, and I could only see his face due to the moonlight.

A gasp left my mouth when he caressed my cheek, almost lovingly. Another gasp when he spread my legs with his thigh, and kept them like that. "Jake."

"I don't care about that stupid party, Alex," Jake told me, his voice nothing but a sweet whisper. I shuddered, and it wasn't because of the cold. Hell, I couldn't even feel the cold at that moment.

"Are you going to kiss me?" I asked. It was a stupid question: of course he was. He wouldn't not kiss me after this. Yet there was still this tiny part of me that couldn't believe it, couldn't process him liking me back.

I was lucky as hell.

"Unless you tell me not to," he grinned, being his charming self. I almost succumbed right there and then. "Please."

"Now, don't get so desperate, sweetheart. I'll give you what you want, if you'll just listen to what I have to say."

Me being me, I didn't have that patience. And naturally, that resulted in me grabbing his cheeks and kissing him myself. He was being a horrible pain in the ass.

"Oh, you impatient little thing," he smirked against my lips, and if I wasn't so caught in our kiss, I would have kicked him. Asshole.

"Shut up," I told him, wrapping my arms around his neck and turning us around. Now he was pushed against the tree. "You think you have more patience than me?"

He laughed, not caring in the slightest if he's the one taking control or not. "Definitely."

Then, instead of fantasizing about Jake and how I could kiss him all over, this mission became my new obsession. I would make him lose his patience. I would have him begging for my kiss.

I just had to.

So I did the same thing he did to me. I put my thigh in between his, but instead of staying at a reasonable height, I placed mine much higher. I was almost touching his groin.

That didn't stop him from tensing up and arching his neck, finding some steadiness when the back of his head hit the tree. It gave me easy acces to his neck, where I placed kisses. I wasn't going to give him marks yet. I wanted to hear one little word. Just one.

Please.

His hand stilled on my hips. He didn't move them, didn't tighten his hold or threaten to take control again. I took it he liked being tormented with kisses.

"Alex," he whispered, voice full of want and need. The mix was just about perfect.

I smiled against his skin, knowing well that he was putty in my hands. I could do just about anything with him, and he would thank me for it. "Who's impatient now, hmm?"

"Fuck off and just kiss me. Or-or take me back to your room, whatever," he pleaded. His eyes fluttered when I pressed a kiss on temple.

"Later. We have time," I promised him.

Little did I know then that when I returned home, our time would be up and my belongings packed. Everything, from family pictures to plates to clothes were in stacked boxes.

My parents only gave me beaming smiles as justification. It confirmed what I was thinking; we were moving to the other side of the country for my father's job.

Tonight. Out of nowhere.