"So your boyfriend. . ."

I turn around, only to be met with a grinning uncle Jimmy. Theo is next to him, trying to hide his chuckle. Before I can say anything, I feel my cheeks heat up. 

Walking past them, I try to ignore them as best as I can. Granted, I bullied Jimmy too when he first came to a family gathering with uncle Theo, but that doesn't mean they can bully me now. 

Damn it, where is my bodyguard? I search for Jake through the crowd and see he's getting spoiled with cookies from all my aunts, clearly having the time of his life. Meanwhile here I am, flustered and being embarrassed. 

"He's nice," Jimmy comments. I'm still with my back to him, my hands curling around the edge of the counter. We're in the kitchen, and tons of bowls full of desserts are in front of me. We've just finished lunch. 

"I don't date assholes," I explain, trying to keep my cool. These are a few questions, why am I getting so worked up?

Maybe I just want my uncle to have a good judgement of Jake. I wouldn't break up because of someone else's opinion, certainly not my family's, but it would get me thinking. Especially if my parents or uncle Jimmy say they have a bad feeling about Jake. It would come as a surprise, but I would definitely start looking for signs. 

"I never said you did," uncle Jimmy says. He takes a step closer and is now standing next to me. Staring at the kitchen cabinets, just like me, because I don't know where else to look. "I'm just curious. Isn't this the same kid who always distracted you when we visited?"

My mom used to get Jake whenever family visited. I got nervous around my cousins, and they didn't appreciate my energy. Jake did, so mom fixed the problem by luring him with cookies. Once he was here, I was as good as silent, and she didn't have any trouble with me anymore. 

"Yeah. I could use some of his distraction now, too," I mumble. Jimmy laughs. "Just in time, because I believe we're opening presents."

I quickly make my way over to the couch and push Nina away. She gives me a grumpy face but, as always, it is my house. So she just takes a seat on the floor and continues her conversation with her brother like that. Satisfied, I lean back, sitting in between Kai and Jake. Exactly how I like it.

"Alex," the boy on my right whispers, sounding stressed out. When I look at Kai's face, I see he's panicking. "What's wrong?"

"My presents. I don't know if I'm supposed to give them. Your parents will feel bad they didn't get me anything. I know you don't have anything for me, but I already told you I have a snow globe for you, so I kind of ruined that surprise anyway. But I can't steal the gifts now, right? Everyone will see and question it and I don't—"

"Kai," I interrupt the wide eyed boy. "Breathe. You're giving them the presents, because they have presents for you, too. So do I. Don't worry about it, okay? Everything is going according to plan."

"Oh," he whispers, looking a little taken aback. I bet he wasn't expecting any gifts from us, but that's tradition in our family. What's a Christmas without presents? I even bought everyone in the castle a gift!

The youngest  kids start annoying my grandma, who is sitting closest to the tree (big mistake). Clearly reluctant to do so, she announces we're about to start opening presents. 

"Who's going to be the one handing them out? Kai, why don't you?" she asks, motioning for him to walk over. He does as he's said, hiding his trembling hands behind his back. I don't think he wants to, but he doesn't want to disturb the tradition. 

"He doesn't seem very comfortable," Jake whispers. I shake my head, eyes still on Kai. He sits down next to the huge tree, looking small and vulnerable and lost. Not knowing what to do, he looks at me. 

I decide to help him and quickly make my way over to him. My grandma makes a disapproving noise, but I ignore it. This is the first time he's having a normal Christmas, and I want him to be able to enjoy it. "You pick the closest present, look who it's for and give it to them. Until every present is gone."

I read panic in his eyes. He leans closer to me, "But I don't know all of their names!" 

"I'll help you," I whisper back. He nods, still a little unsure, but starts with his task. The first present is, coincidentally, his own. It's the snow globe for dad, so he walks over and gives it to the grinning man. For the first time ever, I see Kai being all flustered. "For you."

With a huge smile, dad makes quick work of unpacking his present. When he sees what it is, he demands a high five. "I'm gonna keep this on my desk at work. Thank you, Kai."

"No problem," Kai mumbles, before running back to me. The next present is for Jake, but when he heads to give it to him, grandmother stops him. "Family first, Kai."

Is she kidding?

"Mother, let it be," aunt Amber argues, much to my surprise. "Jake is part of our family, whether you like it or not. You can go, Kai." 

The boy is torn, glancing from grandma to aunt Amber to me. I give him a supporting smile, and finally he decides to give Jake his present anyway. Grandmother shakes her head in disbelief. "We do not support this kind of sin in this house."

"I'll have you know," my dad's voice drawls, "that this is my house, and you're talking about my son here. You can do what you want at your place, though I do not support kicking your own son out, but here, we are supportive of Alex, Jake, Theo and Jim. Yes?"

Holy shit. My eyes stray to Jake, who's suddenly very focused on picking the fluff of his sweater. Uncle Jimmy and uncle Theo are a little further, sitting on the kitchen chairs, and laughing their asses off. 

"We should celebrate Christmas here every year," Theo whispers to Jimmy, but it isn't much of a whisper. Everyone heard it. Jimmy nods, still chuckling, but I blame the glass of champagne in his hand for that. 

"It doesn't matter if I'm here or at home. I don't support the ABCDE+," grandma shakes her head. Now Jake and I lock eyes, and we're not much better than Theo and Jimmy. I try to stop it, I really do, but I can just save myself by turning towards the Christmas tree before I start laughing. 

"Come on, Martha, you're being quite ridiculous right now." My grandpa, trying to save his wife of complete embarrassment. "The ones they love don't matter."

He turns to me with wide eyes. "I don't mean that in the wrong way—they do matter, but their gender doesn't. I mean, of course it does, but—" "I understand," I cut him off, wiping the tears of laughter away. 

"Can we go back to presents now?" grandma snaps, a little crabby. I don't blame her; imagine the horror of your entire family supporting the ABCDE+. 

"I need a moment," I say, standing up and making my way to the kitchen, where I start laughing again. Jake follows me immediately, a little worried, but he grins when he sees I'm laughing and not upset. 

"So which part of the—the ABCDE+ are you?" I chuckle, trying to stop my laughter. I'm failing, but luckily Jake is just as amused. "The A. I definitely like Alex the most." 

Swooning, I hug my boyfriend. "You're too sweet sometimes. Fuck, I lov—"

Startled, I take a step back. Jake stares at me with wide eyes, and I return the gesture. There's no way I just almost did a love confession. There's just no way—nah uh. 

"Anyway." I cough, looking the other way. He clears his throat as well, hiding his hands in the pockets of his pants and looking around the kitchen. "Were you- were you about to say—" "What? No. Absolutely not."

"Oh," he nods, avoiding my gaze. "Okay."

Fuck. Now he's upset. I can tell from the way he's looking at the floor, from the way his neck is tense and his arms flexing, as if he's doing that things with his fingers he always does when he's nervous or upset. Kind of like his thumb is counting the other fingers, moving from one to another. 

"Would you. . .  freak out if I was? About to say it? Hypothetically?" I ask. Shit. Why am I so awkward? Why can't I just admit I love Jake, very much? I'm so fucking in love with him, I can't even think straight around him. And still, I turn into an awkward teenager with his first girlfriend when I'm about to confess this feeling to Jake. 

"No. I. . . I would like it. Hypothetically. But you're not ready so, no pressure." He shrugs, giving me a forced smile. 

"Jake, I—" "Alex. . ." He's interrupting me, eyes soft and voice even more gentle. "Let's just forget this even happened, okay? Can we go back to the living room now?"

"No." I shake my head. I want to confess, I want to tell him how I'm feeling. I'm such a goddamn coward, and I need to get over it. 

"I- Jake, I really, really like you. As in, I'm head over heels for you. As in, I'm in love with you. I'm not sure if I'm still in love with you, or again, but damn it, you make me smile all the damn time. I smile every time I think of you. I have this selection of songs I play when I miss you, and it never fails to make me dream of a future with you. I'm so fucking smitten with you I want to be with you all of the time, regardless if you're busy or not. Sweetheart, I love you, and I don't care if you're not ready to say it back. I love you and I want you to know. I love you."

Jake is silent. His eyes are wide. His mouth has fallen open, and it doesn't look like he's able to close it again. I kind of want to kiss him, since that's romantic and what's supposed to happen after a love confession, but I'm a bit anxious. 

"Awww," a voice that's not Jake's coos. Startled, I turn to the door between the living room and the kitchen, which Jake definitely closed. Now at least seven of my family members are watching me and my boyfriend, and they're swooning as much as I would like Jake to do right now. Uncle Jimmy, my parents, Kai, aunt Amber, Nina, uncle Theo. . .

Can someone please just delete me from this earth? 

"Oh my God!" I whisper in horror, realizing they heard everything I said. "Go away! I'm trying to have a conversation here!"

"Hey, Theo, have I recently said I'm totally smitten with you?" uncle Jimmy grins at his husband. Theo shakes his head. "No, since we don't live in the seventies."

"Uncalled for!" I shout, then close the door in front of their faces. Jake is still frozen, so I spend the time he needs to process this by searching for ways to escape. Maybe I can climb out of a window and book a one-way ticket to New Zealand or something. 

"You're telling me," Jake finally whispers, looking at me, "you don't know if I'm ready to say it back yet? Fucking hell, Alex, I get butterflies in my stomach at the sight of you. I put up with Flynn's and Eliot's teasing because I know they're right! You make my head dizzy with your smiles and my legs weak with a single look. I'm not sure that's healthy, but I don't care because I love the feeling. I love you, and everything about you."

Before he's even finished his last sentence, I'm already crushing him in a hug. To my credit, I allow him to stop talking before I press my lips against his. Jake loves me. He actually said he loves me. Not like, no no, we're way beyond the 'like' period. Love. 

He smiles against my lips, and once I pull back to look at his drop-dead gorgeous face, he whispers it again. And again and again and again. And you know what? It's totally worth my embarrassment in front of my family. Hell, it's worth a lifetime full of my family embarrassing me because I'm so goddamn in love. It's even worth my grandmother's comments, because I know nothing's getting better than this. Jake is it for me. 

"I love you," he tells me. Three words, but I can get enough of them. I tell him I love him, how I've been so in love for so. damn. long. and how he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't shut up about the way he smiles, the way he has me screaming in my pillow after a date. 

"I love you," I tell him. Three words shouldn't be that powerful, yet they so are. They shouldn't be able to make my day better, but I already know every day we exchange them will be a good day. 

Our happiness is interrupted by a knock on the door and Kai's voice following it. "Just so you know, I'm happy for you guys, but the screaming comment still counts."