Am I nervous about meeting Alex' huge family? Absolutely. 

I've met a few of his aunts and uncles when we were kids. It often occurred his family was visiting but he didn't want to stay, so his mom used me as a bait. I was okay with that, I got cookies. The other people around us in that room didn't matter to me. 

It shouldn't make me this nauseous, though. I've met his grandpa, who is a very sweet old man. His wife is less fun, so I heard. His parents are a case I can't quite guess. They used to love me back in time, but will they be as supportive now they know Alex and I are in a relationship?

The phone in my hand vibrates. Mom. I know she's not happy about me spending Christmas elsewhere, but can't she wait until tomorrow? I'm kind of having a crisis on Alex' porch right now. 

"Hi, what's up?" I whisper, turning my back to the front door of the huge house. Yeah, Alex' parents aren't middle class, never have been, but I didn't expect his new house to be this large. Did they win the lottery or something? 

"Hello, honey! I just want to wish you a merry Christmas!" her cheery voice sounds. Too happy about her son not being home for my liking. "I thought you said you would be sulking all day."

"Ah, yes, thank you for wishing me a good day, too! Thank you so much," she sighs. "What is up with your attitude, sweetheart? Are you not with your friends right now?"

Small problem. My parents and siblings don't know about my sexuality. They think I'm spending the holiday with Flynn and Eliot, who are currently thrashing parties in New York on mister Harrison's costs. 

"Yeah, merry Christmas. I'm just a little hungover," I whisper. I would rather have her thinking that I'm drunk than lying to her face. "Oh, that sounds fun! Drink some water, it'll help. I've got to go now, dear, I love you. Call me when you're on your way here, alright?"

"Alright, mom, I love you too. Tell dad he can't eat my chocolate." She laughs and hangs up after my warning, not promising me anything. Which basically means she'll tell him to eat all of it, just to spite with me. 

Taking a deep breath, I turn back around and ring the doorbell before I can overthink this again. I've barely slept all night due to my nerves, and I'm hoping the sight of Alex' pretty face will cure all of it. 

Movement behind the curtain catches my attention. An old lady is glaring at me through it, as if I can't see her at all. Awkwardly, I give her a little wave. Wrong thing to do, because she rolls her eyes and leaves the curtain to hide her again. 

The front door opens and, sadly, it isn't Alex who is opening it. Nope. It's his mom, with his dad right behind her. They look like they've been cooking all morning, with oven mittens and aprons with happy colors on. Rosa's blonde hair is messy, but that's exactly how I remember her. Messy. 

"Jake, honey! You made it!" she smiles, opening her arms and pulling me in a hug. Before I can even greet them properly, her blonde hair is suffocating me. Harry just gives me a wide grin. "Welcome, buddy. Alex hasn't shut up about you." 

"He should've," the old lady from behind the window grumbles. Rosa lets go of me and shoos her away. "Leave them, mom. Young love deserves to exist, too."

Oh. So this is the homophobic grandma. Got it. I turn to Harry with an unbothered smile. "If you don't mind, it would be great if I can drop this suitcase somewhere."

He laughs. It's that belly laugh I'm used from him, and as far as I can tell, he hasn't changed a bit. Maybe his hair has gotten a little grayer, but to be honest, mine would too with a son like Alex. "Right. The stairs up, first room on your left. It's Alex' room, I'm guessing you both want to sleep in the same bed? As long as you're comfortable with that. Oh, and I believe they're taking a nap now, so if you can, keep it down."

They? I didn't Kai was staying in Alex' room, too. "Of course, sir."

"Leave the sir behind, Jake. You know us," he waves my formality away. A little flustered, I make my way upstairs. It's been four days since I've seen Alex. Granted, that's not very long. We used to meet up once in a week. 

But since we live in the same house now, there isn't a day where I don't see him. I don't feel like I'm depending on him, but I like seeing him every once in a while. Now our contact has been low, with his family all around him, and I've been missing him. 

Making sure I'm being quiet, I open the door Harry said Alex' room is. It's much bigger than what we have back at campus, though it barely feels personal. All his belongings, such as photographs and posters, are at ours. 

Alex is on the bed, reading something. For the first time ever, I'm astonished by his appearance. 

He's wearing glasses. 

Alex is wearing glasses. It's easily the most arousing thing I've ever seen. If I could, I would jump him and kiss him all over, but unfortunately, there's a boy sleeping next to him. No sexy time. 

Kai has his head propped up on Alex' thigh and is comforted by Alex' hand going through his hair from time to time. An air mattress is on the floor next to the bed, and I'm fearing that's my place to sleep for the next two days. 

"Hi," I whisper, as softly as I can. Alex looks up in surprise, then smiles at the sight of me. He doesn't move, but he doesn't need to. I'm already tiptoeing to him to give him a kiss. 

"Hi, love," he whispers back, reaching to take his glasses off. I stop him from doing so. "Don't. You look handsome as fuck with them."

He blows me another kiss. "I'm always handsome, thank you very much."

"My poor ears," Kai groans, covering said ears with both of his hands and moving away. I wince a little. It wasn't my intention to wake him up. 

"I'm sorry," I tell him, still whispering for some reason. Once I start doing that, my voice never seems to know when to stop. The boy shrugs. "I wasn't asleep. I was resting."

"We've had a rough few nights. This one here can't sleep unless he's in the same room as me," Alex explains. Ah. I give Kai a kind smile. "I'm sorry to here that.  I can sleep in your room? That way you can continue to sleep here, with Alex."

He shakes his head. "No, I brought my mattress. You can sleep here, in the bed, and I'll sleep there. But," he warns, his voice lowering a little. "If I hear any kissing sounds tonight, I'm screaming until everyone is awake. Understood?"

How is it possible a twelve years old can intimidate me? "I'll be on my best behavior."

"Good," Kai nods, satisfied with himself as he rolls of the bed and drops on his temporary sleeping place. Alex and I share a look, but where he is grinning, I'm blushing. As usual. 

"Did you bring any presents for me?" Alex pouts, his greedy hands reaching for my suitcase. I pat them away until he's moaning in pain. "I didn't. I do have a gift for Kai and your parents, but I figured me being here was enough for you."

I'm kidding, obviously, but Alex doesn't get that. Instead, he immediately nods and wraps his arms around me. There's this disappointed twinkle in his eyes, yet he's trying to hide it and be happy with his present. With me. "You're always enough for me."

Gagging sounds come from behind the bed. Kai. Alex rolls his eyes and flips him off, then smiles up at me. "I was joking about having a present for me, you know. Of course you're enough for me."

Amused by his desire to not upset me, I smile and cup his cheek. "I'm joking, too. I do have a gift for you, you just can't open it yet."

A dramatic gasps leaves his lips. "That's so mean! I was trying to remember which of the presents under the tree was yours, so I could discreetly remove it so you wouldn't feel bad!"

I place a kiss on his head. "Which is very sweet. Anyways, I—" "Boys, are you joining us downstairs? Lunch is ready," Rosa interrupts us. 

As if he's caught on fire all of a sudden, I take a big step away from Alex and nod at his mom. "Yes. We're comi—joining. We're joining."

With a muffled laugh, Kai gets up and leaves. The damn kid is laughing at me and not even trying to hide it. Alex is more subtle and reaches for my hand. "Come on. Let's drive grandma crazy."

As we descend the stairs, I tell Alex all about his spy grandma. He snorts. "Sounds like her. Don't listen to her comments, she's not important. Besides, she'll probably be commenting on my uncle anyway. He's gay, too, and has been receiving awful insults all week. Kind of sad, really."

I bet it is. Meeting homophobic people is already pretty intense, but the insults coming from your own mother is even worse. A little voice reminds me that, possibly, this could happen to me too once I tell my parents I'm pansexual. I tell the voice to shut up. I'll worry about that later.

"Why don't you two sit down next to Kai and Rosa?" Harry proposes. He glances briefly at our intertwined hands, and just when I want to retreat, he gives me a wink. I breathe out in relief and take place next to Alex and Rosa at the huge table. 

Not even wanting to count all the people, I sit there and am overwhelmed by how many eyes are watching me and Alex. I don't want to cause any problems between him and his family, yet here I am, angering his grandma. 

A dude, around the age of thirty, winks at me and nudges the man beside him. He points at us, which results into both of them smiling and nodding. I'm guessing that's Alex' gay uncle. Pointing was rather rude, but I'm choosing to see him as nice. 

"What would you like to eat, Jake? We have plenty of food. Choose something and eat, dear," Rosa tells me. She yells something to one of her sisters across the table, who is currently passing the smashed potatoes. Still a little overwhelmed by how crowded the room is, I watch everyone taking what they want. Alex is unbothered and does the same. 

It's only me and Kai who are watching the occurrences with wide eyes. As Alex stands up to get the ketchup from the other side, Kai leans towards me and whispers, "Just wait until the dessert comes. They turn into beasts."

"Ah ah ah," Alex comments, hitting Kai with his spoon in the head. The boy bursts into laughter and ducks away, allowing Alex to sit back down. My boyfriend winks at me. "We do not turn into beasts. We just. . . like chocolate cake."

"Uncle Jimmy didn't even get a piece!" Kai reasons. That shuts Alex up, who finally gives in that maybe his family isn't the most proper one. "Fine, fine. I'm changing my argument. I don't turn into a beast."

Then he leans to me and whispers, "Unless—" "Shut the hell up," I tell him, blushing furiously. I still haven't gotten any food on my plate, and I'm starting to think I might end up like uncle Jimmy. Starving. 

So, I do like any sane person would and poke Alex with my fork in the side. "Could you maybe. . ." I point at my plate and then gesture to the table. He instantly gets the hint and nods. "Sure. Just tell me what you'd like to eat."

Reciting my order, he walks away. My eye falls on his plate, which hasn't lessened. I decide to keep an eye out for him. Maybe he's having trouble eating again. 

"Here you go," he sings, giving me my plate. "That was fast," I comment, at which he shrugs. "You have to know the tricks."

"Which are?" Kai begs. Alex grins ins his direction. "Just go to the kitchen. Everything is there."

Kai's eyes widen, and then he takes off with his plate. Alex turns back to me and starts telling me about all sorts of things that happened these past days. Apparently, his cousin Andrew fell off the tree house, Nina accidentally walked in on their grandparents doing. . . stuff (the poor girl must be traumatized), and his uncle and his husband have been all lovey dovey after their fight. 

And still, he doesn't eat. I gently nudge him, making sure no one can hear as I whisper, "Are you not hungry?" 

He shrugs. "It's a little difficult, but I'm trying to make an effort. Take a bite together?"

And just like that, he starts eating. It's not as fast as I am, or as fast as he eats at home, but he's eating and that's the most important. Maybe the eye-rolling aunt next to Kai is pressuring to him, or his grandma being all judgy as she watches everyone. 

I don't blame him. And certainly not after said eye-rolling aunt starts to tell Kai he needs to eat more if he wants to be as big and strong as Alex.