"Not yet."

I let out a shaky breath. "Please, Alex, I need—"

"When I say you can, sweetheart. I want to have you writhing for a bit."

His hands curl around my dick, giving me even more stimulation. As if the vibrator wasn't enough already. 

"And I want to come," I moan out, my eyes shut closed. It's not like I could see much anyway, but this time, my blindness is voluntarily. He's teasing me in this awful way. I almost hate just how well he knows my body, except that it feels way too good to curse him for it. 

"You'll have to wait, baby," he whispers. I lean against him, almost drowning in pleasure. I'm just about to come when he flips me around, so my back is against his chest and he has a perfectly clear view of the vibrator in my ass. 

I let out a sinful sound, one I didn't even think of as humanly possible, when he pulls it out. Tortuously slow. Fuck, so slow.

"Please," I moan, shuddering at the noise of foil being ripped apart. It's finally happening; he'll finally fuck me. 

"I know, sweetheart," he soothes me, running a finger over my spine while the other hands gets rid of the blindfold. The room is still dim, but now I can finally see Alex' gorgeous face again. 

Not bothering to wait for his moves or orders, I turn around and greedily kiss him. I almost push him down the bed, but he's fast and turns us around immediately. 

Now that I'm pinned in between him and the bed, he finally has all of the control. I am breathless, looking up at him and wondering just how long he'll take. He's staring right back at me, with that cocky look plastered all over his face. 

"You're trapped now, aren't you?" he challenges. I don't even try to get away; the feeling of lying beneath him is better than anything else I've experienced. 

"I'm gonna fuck you now, yes?" he checks in. Again. I nod quickly, impatiently, not wanting to wait any longer. It's gonna be so amazing—

"Holy fu—" I gasp, freeing one of my arms to cover my mouth. He's so much bigger than his fingers, or the vibrator, or anything else. My eyes roll to the back of my head, my back arches. 

The stretch is a perfect mix of pain and pleasure, just how I like it. I expect him to stop pushing in when I feel like I'm completely full, but he goes on. "F-fucking hell, are you horse or what?"

He throws his head back and laughs, shaking his head. "What a way to ruin the mood, Jake."

"Hey, I'm not the one tearing my insides apart!"

He thrusts in with one last movement, hitting that spot without any effort. My whole body twitches and writhes. "A-Alex, d-don't—"

"Ah, that's where your sensitive spot is," he smirks almost evilly. One of his hands settles on the spot next to my head, the other placed next to my hip. This way, he somehow manages to thrust into me more forcefully, stronger than before. 

"N-no, ah, fuck!" I curse, hands thrashing around to find anything to grab a hold of. Eventually, his biceps are the only option. 

Feeling so, so full, I close my eyes and let Alex do whatever he wants to me. He can ravish me, destroy me and leave his marks all over my body, and I would thank him for it. I would even beg him to do it again, and again and again. 

"Just look at how beautifully you're taking my cock, sweetheart," Alex tells me. I believe I let out a moan in response. His words do things to my body, things nobody else could ever do. It doesn't matter how many times they attempt; no one will ever match this feeling. 

"Fuck, just like that," he groans when I feel myself tighten around him. Our bodies are starting to be covered in sweat now; the sounds of our skin colliding and slapping against each other sounding through the room.

My mind is numb. I don't think anymore, I can only feel how my boyfriend is fucking me and how well he does it. His words have me shivering and my eyes fluttering and my stomach tightening. 

"Eyes on me, sweetheart. I want to see the look on your face as you come for me." Before my mind even comprehends his order, my body has already obeyed. My eyes snap open, meeting his dazzling blue ones. 

It doesn't make sense how he has taken complete control of my body. Every time he sucks on the place next to my ear, he knows I'll moan. When he thrusts right against my good spot, he knows I'll make a noise in between a whimper and a scream. And when he, in between all of those rough touches, moves his hand and lays it around my cheek in the most gentle way ever, I can't keep my eyes open. 

Every time he thrusts into me, I feel like our connection gets stronger, our bond more powerful. Every time he pulls out, if only for a second, a part of me goes along with him. 

"A-Alex," I moan, my hands tightening around the sheets. A heat in my stomach is telling me I can't hold my orgasm for long anymore, and even though I want Alex inside of me forever, I also desperately want to come. 

Instead of telling me I can (which would have been too nice of an act for my evil boyfriend), he reaches around my thigh and brings it up. At first I don't understand it, with a mind full of lust and dirty thoughts, but eventually I get that he wants me to wrap my legs around his waist. 

Which is what I immediately do, together with locking my arms around his neck. We're closer now, our lips almost touching, our eyes barely an inch away. The spot where we're connected feels different now, deeper somehow. 

"Fuck, Jake, you're way louder than I though you could be," Alex moans. In a total state of awe, I don't even hear what he's saying. I can only see his eyes, so beautiful, glazed over with lust and desire. All because of me. 

"Oh, God." He smiles at my breathless curse, because yes, Alexander loves it when I lose every bit of sense. 

"You're also a lot more sensitive," he grins, biting into my collar bone. I close my eyes and keep them shut, because the sight and the feeling of Alex is becoming a bit too much right now. 

But I'm never giving up the feeling. Nah uh. 

"Can I just—please." 

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Alex wraps his skilled hand around my dick and starts pumping it. Not slow, or teasingly, but with the goal of setting me off. Thank fuck. 

"Come for me, baby. Show me just how much you love it when I fuck you," he whispers in my ear in that seductive tone of his, the one that drives me crazy. My back arches off the bed again, and it's a miracle I don't break it. 

Alex' name probably leaves my lips in a moan, or a whimper, or maybe even a scream when I cum. I really don't know—I'm too far gone to acknowledge it. 

My boyfriend doesn't respond to it, either. All he does is close his eyes, thrust into me one last time and then he releases too. 

"You're amazing," he murmurs, before pulling it off and throwing the condom in the nearest bin. He moves off of me, leaving me bared to the cold air, and decides the spot right next to me is good enough. "C'mere."

Still dazed and satisfied, but not too out of it to decline hugs, I snuggle into his side. His arm wraps around my waist while the other cups around my face. His thumb swipes over my cheek in a kind, almost soothing way. It results in me closing my eyes and starting to doze off. 

That is, until the moron gets up and leaves the bed. A displeased sound leaves my throat, but he ignores it and disappears out of the room. The door he went through shuts closed. 

I'm left alone in a bed that was a moment ago full of warmth, but now feels as cold as ice. Why did he leave? I just wanted some hugs. I thought he didn't mind me being cuddly after sex. 

Before, when he left me alone in our youth, it caused me a phobia of being alone. Monophobia, my mom called it. I would get panicked when I was alone, even if it was for short periods of time. 

After countless visits to therapists and doctors, I thought it finally went away. I was able to be alone again, and even though I prefer being with someone, I don't have breakdowns at the thought of not having someone on my side. 

However, now Alex has left to God knows where, I feel like I might not be cured.

Deciding I'm being stupid, I blink a few times and dab my eyes with the back of my hand. To my surprise, I feel wetness when I pull back. Fuck, am I crying? 

With more frustration than before, I keep my hands pressed against my eyes and take a few deep breaths. I'm overreacting, but I can't seem to stop. My body's acting on its own. 

"Sh, it's all fine," I whisper to myself. "You're not alone. Everyone's home." I keep repeating that to myself, until I believe it. 

Maybe Alex changed his mind, and maybe he does only want sex. That's okay. Everyone in this country has a free will. I'll just. . . swallow my feelings and pretend like I wanted the same too. He'll be relieved, and we can keep being together. We might not kiss in the moonlight anymore, but that's fine. All fine. Really. 

"Hey, now, love, what's going on?" I startle at Alex' whisper. He's appeared right next to the bed again, dressed in underwear only. A wet washcloth is in his hands and a worried expression on his face. 

I almost choke as I desperately try to force the tears back. My hands are so drenched with tears they don't help with drying them anymore, and I'm only making it worse. I'm making a complete fool out of myself. 

"Now, take a deep breath," he encourages, sitting down on the bed next to me. One of his hands is on my back, and it burns a hole through me. He doesn't notice and just keeps on assuring me. "Just like that. What happened?"

"Nothing," I whisper, feeling shame cover my cheeks. "Sorry."

"No, don't do that." He shakes his head, brushing a fallen curl back behind my ear. "Don't apologize for being upset. Why don't you lie down a little and let me clean you up?"

Clean me up. Of course. That's why he left, to get the washcloth. I'm so stupid.

Not daring to look him in the eyes anymore, I do as he says and stare at the ceiling. Why the hell am I always so impulsive when the matter is about feelings? I cry way too easily. Instead of taking about it like a normal person would, I just start crying the second I'm alone because I can't work the feelings away. 

I startle when the washcloth hits my skin, but the movement is gentle and the soft material warm. He must've held it under warm water. 

"Isn't that better, hm?" He kisses the top of my head and walks to the bathroom again, being careful enough to leave the door open. I mentally facepalm myself. How did I not recognize the door to the bathroom in my own room?

He puts the cloth on the drying rack and switches off all of the lights before joining me in the bed. This time, I'm positive he'll stay. "I'm sorry for overreacting."

"Don't be," he tells me, pulling me close to him while he entangles us with the blankets. To be at least a little helpful, I wrap my arms around his waist and lay my head on his chest. This position feels intimate, but he'll be able to breathe and not feel too hot in the middle of the night. 

"I just get. . . when I was younger. . .," I try to explain, but the words tumble out of my mouths in the wrong order. "I just couldn't be alone after you left. Mom called it some sort of phobia, and told Flynn about it the second she saw us getting close, but it's gotten better now. Flynn is really careful about those things. Used to be almost paranoid about leaving me alone for an afternoon, but he's noticed I'm better now. But maybe I just. . . I got a little worked up, just now."

My eyes close after my second sentence, feeling Alex stroke my hair. It's a soothing gesture, and perfect for this confession. "Is that what Flynn was trying to say, that day at the café? The sentence you cut off?"

I don't really recall that day. I know there was his apology, Flynn with sunglasses and Alex being drop dead gorgeous. I certainly know I was starstruck when I saw him sitting there, in the sunlight. 

"It could be," I whisper. Exhaustion is taking its toll on me, but I want to stay awake and talk to Alex. 

"I'm really sorry I caused that," he apologizes. I want to lift my head and tell him, in all honesty, that it's okay, but he senses it and pushes my head against his chest a little tighter. Okay then, no assuring, I guess. 

"And I'll try my best to make sure it never looks like I'm leaving you. I didn't want to before, and I surely don't want to walk away from you now. You can count on that, I promise."

"You promise?" I mumble, smiling like an idiot. It's the exhaustion, really. 

"I promise. Now sleep, or it'll look like I kept you up all night." He chuckles, his hands reaching up and resting on my bare hips. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I think it's unfair he gets to see me in my naked glory and I can't admire his beautiful body. 

But then I fall asleep, and I know I wouldn't get to see much anyway. And besides, if he keeps his promise, I'll have all the time in the world to appreciate his beauty.