21 october , 9:00

you were being revived inside your room, as i watched cautiously, continuously praying for a miracle.

i turned around, frustratedly running my fingers through my hair.

a few more panicking later, the doctors came out with relief. you're back to life.

this time, you were breathing through a machine. your disease was worse. i couldn't be more disappointed.

i cried as i barged into your room. you were barely breathing but tubes were connected to your mouth and nose.

i held your hand, and they were cold like always. you were motionlessly lying on the bed, kept alive by a machine.

i could no longer talk to you like before. i did not want to disturb your sleep too.

sometimes, i just think i'm letting you suffer even more by telling you to stay.

i would lose myself, if i lose you.

| It might keep raining
for days to end
It could even rain
on the dessert
But I can't give up on
the me that you know