(Even though I'm high key narry, Harry is straight in this fanfiction)

"Hey Rauli." Harry says from the kitchen, his voice deep and accented, similar to Louis'. I turn around to look at him. It's my break now so I'm in the break room, eating a bag of chips, thinking about everything in my life, which is the worst thing I could ever really do.

"Yeah?" I grin, grabbing another Dorito and sticking it in my mouth.

"Want to come to my show tonight at the cafe down the street? You can invite Louis."

I sigh shakily at the mention of his name and look away. "Um, I can see if he wants to go. You know, if he's not at work or anything." I assure him. "What time is it?"

"The show?"

"Yeah."

"At eleven. But it's an early night tonight since it's Friday."

"Oh yeah." I nod, furrowing my eyebrows, forgetting we close at ten today.

"Hey guys, What're you talking about?" Diane, another woman who works in the kitchen asks as she slides next to Harry.

"My show."

"Oh." Her eyes widen. "Are you coming, Rauline? You've never came to one before. He's so good."

"I'm not that good, Di." He mumbles, pushing the African American girl with his shoulder, smiling sheepishly.

"Stop, he's great, seriously." Diane chuckles, rolling her eyes.

I smile at the two of them, looking at the empty bag of chips but wanting to eat more. I eat when I feel overwhelmingly emotional and just don't care about my weight.

But I really should, I'm starting to get bigger than I was in highschool and I was a decent weight back then. But now it's getting ridiculous to me to the point I eat, look at my body in the mirror and I cringe at it. But I keep eating because of all these negative emotions surging through my body.

I crush the bag with a shaky hand and throw it into the trash before standing up to go into the bathroom to wash my hands.

"You okay, Rauline?" I hear Diane ask when I come out of the bathroom within the break room. I look at her to see Harry gone and nod my head, smiling slightly.

"Yeah." I say.

"So are coming? Do you know?"

"Probably. I don't know about my husband." I say ,shaking my head.

"Well I'm excited." She sighs

"What do I have to wear?"

"Just be casual." Diane shrugs.

I nod silently, walking out of the room and going in front of the open window that looks into the kitchen. Diane smiles at me. I close my eyes momentarily, feeling tired.

"You know," Diane says, making me open them. "You don't have to come if your exhausted. "

"No. I'm definitely coming."

"Don't feel obligated Rauline. There will be lots of other shows."

"What's wrong?" Harry says, joining us again. He takes off his gloves and throws them in the trash.

"You wouldn't mind if Rauline doesn't come tonight, right?" Diane asks him.

"Of course I do." He snaps, furrowing his eyebrows and widening his eyes . Diane sighs heavily.

"Stop being a jerk," She chuckles. "Seriously though Rauline."

"I'm coming Diane and that's final. I need a night out anyway and go somewhere new, ya know?"

"Okay true." She nods.

"I'm going to leave now. See you guys in an hour."

LATER

I watch as he walks in at eleven. He doesn't look up from the ground as he takes off his black dress jacket, sighing softly to himself.

"Do you want to go to a cafe with me tonight?" I ask heistantly, heart beating fast. I cringe a little when he freezes in his tracks, before turning to look at me slowly with an expressionless face. "Harry invited us. Just thought I should ask you." I sigh, still extremely tired. He doesn't respond as he turns around again, throwing his jacket in the hamper before sitting down on the bed.

"I'm okay. I've got to go to work tomorrow." He says. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"Isn't Harry your friend?"

"Used to be." He says.

"What do you mean?"

He looks at me. "Exactly what I said."

They were close the last time I heard of their friendship. What could've happened? "Well, um,...I'm going to go."

"Okay." He responds.

"But I think you should come, you know? This is going to start getting to you."

"What?"

"The whole routine. Once in a while, you should go out and do something fun."

"I paid the babysitter already. He left."

"No one said we couldn't take Thomas. We can put him in the stroller."

"I don't want to go, Rauline." He suddenly snaps, standing up again.

I nod. "Okay. Sorry for asking." I say, standing up as well before walking to the closet. "But, one day, will we ever look like a big happy family?"

"Not sure." He shrugs.

"The answer is no."

"What?"

"I didn't stutter." I mumble.

He grabs my shoulder, turning me around quickly. I glare at him and back away from his touch. "Don't you dare touch me." I snap. He laughs.

"That's not what you say in bed, baby."

"Fuck you, Louis." I seethe. "Just go do whatever the hell you do and stop talking to me. Now I'm really sorry for asking."

I turn around again, grabbing the nicest but most simplest clothes I could find in the closet. I turn to see him still standing next me, staring at the ground in thought, but then he looks at me again.

"What?" I snap, walking past him quickly.

"My father, he wants to see us on Sunday, to have dinner with him and my mum."

I stop, my limbs tensing as I let out a shaky breath. "So?" I say, without turning to look at him, setting my clothes on the bed.

"We can't fight there, no matter what."

"Then stop being a little asshole." I mumble, tightening my grip around the skinny blue jeans in my hand.

"Are you going to keep mumbling like a fucking child because I don't think it'll work out if you do." He chuckles bitterly.

"What won't work out?" I ask, still having my back facing him. But I feel him grab my shoulder again, turning me around, and I flinch at the sudden touch again, not liking the feeling of the tight grip.

"The dinner. It won't work out." He says, glowering at me. I nod quickly.

"Not a surprise, yeah, considering we can't even spend two seconds looking at each other without blowing up."

He doesn't respond, we just stare into each other's eyes. And his blue eyes have always been guarded with hatred. So much hatred and I don't think I'll ever be able to change that. Especially me. I roll my eyes when he turns around again, beginning to take off his shirt, just like everyday.

"Why aren't you and Harry friends anymore?" I ask, sighing in the process.

"We haven't talked in a while."

"Why?"

"I thought you wanted me to stop talking to you."

"Well now I'm curious. You guys were best friends, right?"

"Yeah, but we stopped talking, that's it." Louis shrugs, turning to look at me again.

"Well why did you?"

He furrows his eyebrows and I get ready for him to get annoyed and start yelling at me again as I tighten my grip on my clothes again. "I don't know." He says calmly. But I really need to stop asking so many questions and find some self control.

I nod and look away before reaching behind me to try and get the zipper of my dress, but as always, I fail. So instead of potentially tearing the fabric, taking it off by pushing the straps off my shoulders, I look at Louis.

"Can you unzip my dress?" I ask him hesitantly.

He looks at me with dark blue eyes and walks over to stand behind me. His fingertips brush against the skin on my back and I discretely shiver before he pulls the zipper down. I mumble a "thanks" before stepping out of the dress and pulling on the shirt over my head.

I jump when I hear him slam the bathroom door. I purse my lips and walk over to the mirror , brushing my hair up a little but keeping it the same way I styled it for work. I better start leaving now too.

I grab my handbag and car keys before walking out of the room and going into Thomas' to simply kiss his forehead and whisper a good night to him then leave.

CAFE

"Rauline! Harry's going on in about five minutes, you came right on time." Diane smiles, grabbing my hand and leading me towards a table. "So, Louis couldn't make it?"

I sigh. "No, he's working late." I tell her, lying easily about it. I sit down beside her, having the perfect seat to see Harry on stage.

"I ordered two cups of coffee. If you don't want yours I can take it home or something." Diane says.

"No, it's okay, thank you." I say before hearing feedback on the stage, making my attention to divert to it. Harry sits there,on a stool, a guitar in his hand. It makes me think back to when Louis and Harry both used to play in senior year of college. We were already together for two years.

The both of them were great singers. They are still great singers. But Louis barely sang, Harry was more of the lead while Louis strummed the guitar or simply played the piano.

But I fortunately got to hear more of his voice in the apartment we owned together as he sang quietly and mindlessly doing anything. But I listened, and I loved it. His voice was stimulating to my brain after a hard day at work or just before bed as I slowly drifted to sleep.

"Rauline?" Diane says. I blink, hearing Harry's raspy singing voice in my ear and the soft strumming of a guitar, the room dark.and the spotlight just on him. I reach up to touch my cheek to feel a warm tear. I furrow my brows and look at Diane who stares back at me in concern. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah." I nod, stammering. I was so lost in the past I didn't even realize I was crying.

She gives me a small smile before turning away again. I stand up and go to the bathroom, washing my face, before heading back to the table to see Harry's song end and the audience begins to clap.

I join, sitting down quietly.

Later Harry joins Diane and I as we sit in silence. I tell them that I need to head home and I tell Harry that he was amazing as usual.

They both hug me before I get into my car and head back to place I call a home.

When I pull up into the drive way, it's pitch dark.

I get out of the car and head inside, the house being dark as well.

I then head upstairs and into the bedroom Louis and I share to see the lights off as well. But instead of silence I hear his steady breathing, making me know someone is there. I sigh shakily and turn on my lamp, now seeing his body that lays on its side, back facing me and all the way at the edge, looking as if he may almost fall off.

It's like that every night though. The last time we slept, together, was... maybe two years ago.

I swallow the lump in my throat before heading into the bathroom to take a long, hot shower until the water eventually begins to start getting cold.

When I get into comfortable clothing I slide under the covers, sleeping on the edge as well, dreaming of potential happy times.