"Rauline!" I hear his voice yell out suddenly, being slightly muffled.

My eyes snap open, I feel the wetness on my cheeks and the coldness on my skin. It must be cold outside.

The light turns on suddenly and I make eye contact with my husband. He is dressed in his suit from this morning still. I must have been dreaming again. He looks wide eyed and startled. His breathing is heavy.

"What's wrong?" He asks, voice rough.

I part my lips, throat dry. My breathing is shaky and so is my body. But at the same time I can't get up. I'm paralyzed. He stands up straight, sticking his hands into his pockets as he licks his lips in thought. "Were you dreaming about something?" He asks, quirking up an eyebrow.

I close my eyes again and sit up before opening them again. "Yeah." I croak.

"What was it about?" He furrows his eyebrows, frowning. I purse my lips, glaring at him before standing up and walking to the bathroom. "Rauline." He snaps.

"Shut up, Louis. Just shut up!" I yell, turning to him, tears springing to my eyes. "I just wish I could go on vacation for a while and not be with you but I can't so just leave me alone right now, okay?" I yell. "Please! Your giving me a headache!"

"I didn't do anything." He snaps.

I clench my fists and walk into the bathroom before slamming the door shut. I walk towards the toilet and sit down on the closed lid with a shaky sigh.

"You and mommy are always fighting." I hear him whisper. I close my eyes tightly, clenching my fists on my lap even tighter.

"We weren't fighting, buddy." Louis says. "Mummy had a nightmare. You know?"

"Oh." The little boy draws out cutely. I smile slightly at the innocent sound. "Was a scary monster in her closet? Was that it? Or...or under her bed? I have those dreams but then i...I check and they aren't there anymore."

Louis chuckles, making me frown again. He's fake. He doesn't care about either of us. "Yes. But nothing was there. We checked and everything's okay. Go back to sleep okay? I love you."

My breath hitches. I've haven't heard him say that in a long time.

"I love you too, daddy." Thomas yawns and then I hear his footsteps pad against the floor gently and into his room.

I flinch when I hear knocking on the door. "Rauline?" Louis says.

I open my eyes, stand up, and rip open the door. "What?" I snap. I can imagine that my cheeks and eyes are red. I probably look terrible to him.

"What were you dreaming about?" He asks ,crossing his arms over his chest.

"Stop pretneding you care. Stop asking. It's none of your business." I stomp the ground at every sentence uttered.

"Fine. But if your going to scream again, don't count on me not leaving the house and going to a fucking hotel room."

"I wouldn't care if you went now to a hotel room you fucking dickhead." I seethe, leaning closely to his face.

His jaw locks tightly as his fists clench.

"I can't stand knowing that you're sleeping next to me most of the night, anyway. Your presence makes me gag! I would rather rip all my fucking hair out than have another conversation with you."

"You make me sick." Louis mumbles, shaking his head.

"Right back at you." I seethe as he turns around, taking off his jacket.

"You know what, Rauline." He seethes back, turning around quickly, his finger pointing in my direction. But I stand still, his anger not effecting me. "I wouldn't hesitate to get those papers and not care that you'll only be living off the money that you get from that stupid ass waitress job. Live on the streets and freeze to death for all I care."

I burst out laughing suddenly, shaking my head in shock. "That's really how you feel?"

He chuckles bitterly. "I don't give a fuck, Rauline. I really don't."

"Fine! Then you know what Louis!" I exclaim, feeling my face turning a bright red. I suck in a large, trying to keep calm but my blood is boiling.

I charge up to him and hit my fist against his chest. Then I bring another fist up and hit him again. And I keep doing it, tears springing up into my eyes.

He eventually grabs my wrists, restricting me from my movement. "What the fuck are you doing, Rauline?" He snaps. I refuse to look up at his expression.

"I don't know!" I cry, shutting my eyes tight. I feel stupid, like an idiot for ever agreeing to this marriage. I don't want to say what's on my mind but what else am I going to do? I can't cry everyday. I can't feel self pity constantly. "I-I want you to go to court tomorrow. Go to court so we could sign the fucking papers and I could leave! I can't stand this as much as you. It brings so m-much pain." I say, whispering the last sentence.

We're in silence for a while.

He let's go of my wrists and I slowly open my eyes again. I watch as he walks past me, into the bathroom, looking completely unfazed. He doesn't care and he never will.

THE NEXT MORNING
I couldn't sleep last night. So I am up when he is. I sigh shakily, my eyes swollen because of the amount of sleep I didn't get last night and the tears shed.

"Your going today, right?" I ask that when he walks out of the bathroom, quiet as always even though he already knows I'm awake today.

I look at him and he looks away when we make eye contact. "It's the first thing I'm doing this morning before going to work."

"Good."

"Did you sleep at all last night?" He asks me.

I don't respond but continue to look at the ground as I lay on my side in the bed. It's cold again this morning. Although he never seems to be effected by it. But I'm not surprised if he's cold blooded anyway. It seems like it to me most of the time.

"Are you going to work this whole week?"

"Yes."

"Thomas misses you a lot."

Silence.

"I just think, since we're getting a divorce, you should take some less hours."

Silence.

"To spend more time with your son."

More silence. I finally sit up to look at him as he sits on the bed, shoulders hunched and head facing the ground. I roll my eyes in annoyance.

"What's wrong?" I ask, sighing tiredly.

"Nothing concerning you." He says, turning around and making eye contact with me. He stands up again.

"So?"

"So it's none of your business." He says calmly. "I'll be back with the papers tonight, alright?" He says, fixing his tie before walking to the door and leaving.

THREE YEARS EARLIER

Two years before everything went downhill.

"Do you want to break up?" I ask, my hands gripping the bench tightly as we sit in the quiet park. The only sounds are the birds chirping and the wind rustling the leaves.

He looks at me. I wonder why he never seems to care about me so much. It just seems we don't talk and as if he doesn't want to talk at all ever. "Why are you asking me this?" He asks, blinking.

"Whenever your upset, or...either of us have bad days...we don't communicate. We hold it in. Isn't communicating what your supposed to do in a relationship?" I ask him.

"Baby," He sighs. I watch as he turns to me and takes my hand in his gently. "I love you, and whenever you have a bad day, I'll listen. Okay? I'm sorry if you think I don't care." He smiles at me, that award winning sincere and caring smile that made me feel safe

But it was an act. I see that now it was a huge fucking act. I don't feel safe now nor will I ever again.

He kisses the tip of my nose before resting his forehead against mine. "I love you." He repeats.

He doesn't.

"I love you too." I smile, my eyes fluttering closed as his breath fans my cheek, making me get goosebumps.

"Is there anything you need to talk about now?"

"No." I say, just wanting to bask in the silence with him.

"Okay baby." He whispers.

PRESENT
LATER

I grip the pen tightly in my sweaty hand. I'm trembling as he watches me sign the papers. The papers that are going to let us be free from each other's company finally. Finally.

I sigh shakily, glancing up at him to see him watching me. Watching my hands as they move across the paper. "Stop looking at me." I snap. He looks into my eyes and locks his jaw before flickering his gaze down to the table.

I flip to the last paper and sign in multiple places before finally closing it and sliding it across the counter towards him.

"I got demoted." Louis says.

I look up at him, wondering if I heard him wrong.

"What?"

"You know what I said." He snaps quietly, cracking his knuckles.

"How? Why?" I ask.

"I just thought you'd be happy to hear." He chuckles. "I'll be making less money, which means you won't be missing much." He says, shrugging.

I blink. "Turn these in as soon as you can." I tell him. "Please."

"You can count on me."

I lick my lips, shaking my head before looking away from him. "I can't but, just do it." I mumble, standing up quickly, pushing the chair into the dining table roughly. Before I walk up the stairs, I turn back to him still sitting at the table as he looks through the divorce papers. "Hey." I say, turning my body to him. He looks at me with raised eyebrows. "I'm glad you told me. That's actually kind of funny. You made me laugh,kind of like old times, when you weren't a dickhead." I laugh at him before turning around and walking up the steps, hearing him mumble a string of curse words.

It's eleven o clock at night so I am ready to go to bed.

I slide under the covers and close my eyes with a heavy sigh, ready for the days ahead of me. I think about what might happen, what I'm going to do to survive on my own.

Am I really going to live on the streets? I didn't ever think it would come to this. I didn't ever think my own husband, a man I thought could have potentially fallen in love me. Someone who I had thought finally, finally, for once in my damn life, loved me and wouldn't ever leave me. Is kicking me out.

He hates me.

And I literally now have no one to go to.

I have no family.

No friends.

Just myself.

But I'm not going to ask to stay here until I get back on my feet. I can't show him I can't survive on my own. I'm stronger than that. If I show him any weakness, he'd take advantage of that instantly because that's how he is.

I hate him.

I hate him with all the fire that is left in my soul. And I always will.

"Rauline." I hear him say when he enters the room.

I flinch, closing my eyes tightly and pulling the blanket up to my chin. "Yes?" I say quietly.

"Did you remember it's Thomas' birthday tomorrow?"

My eyes snap open, wide. I sigh shakily feel a tear run down my cheek. Everything has been so overwhelming I forgot. I'm a terrible mother. "Yeah. What are we going to do?" I ask, clearing my throat afterwards.

"Order a cake maybe, take him out somewhere."

"Okay."

It's quiet for a few seconds as he walks over to his side of the bed. "And the dinner is tomorrow." I don't respond, not wanting to go to this damn dinner but it would look terrible if we didn't. I rub my eyes tiredly.

"I'll leave on Monday, then." I tell him.

Silence for a few seconds.

"Okay." He mumbles.