"I can't believe you only bought one thing, Rauline." Diane snaps as we walk out of the mall. Cold drizzles of rain begin to fall from the sky and coat our skin. I look inside of my shopping bag to see a burgundy colored dress inside. I smile slightly and look up at the dark skinned girl.

"I can't believe you bought half the mall." I retort, chuckling lightly.

Diane rolls her eyes. "Whatever. I was excited. You know that scriptwriting job pays a lot, right? Like, you need a lot of time and effort, but the pay is good as fuck."

"I'm aware." I chuckle.

"Would you ever want a job in a production studio?"

"Um, nah, I'd more like to create my own business." I tell her.

"Oh, like what?" She asks curiously.

"Of a clothing store. And also make my own clothing line and all that." I nod.

"And how long have you had this goal, Rauline?"

"Ever since my...sophomore year in highschool I think."

"Girl, what the hell? What are you waiting for?"

I sigh shakily and look at the gravel below me. "You know I'm bad wuh social skills and networking and all that annoying but necessary things."

"You've got to get over it then, boo. And I'm going to help you. In fact, Harry and I will. After he gets himself settled in a good job of course and quits working in that damn restaurant."

I smile.

"Your a really good friend, Di."

"Girl, your like my best friend for life, I'll help you with anything and everything. Unless it includes blood then I'm out."

I laugh with her and then we reach the car and get inside to get back to the condo.

As we drive down the street, the radio is turned up and Rihanna is blasting in my ears as I rest my head against the cold window.

When we reach a stoplight I look out the window and across the street, a sign lighting up the darkness to a small bar that I've seen many times but never been to since I don't like that type of scene. My gaze diverts to something moving. I narrow my eyes, seeing a dark figure walking along a large patch of grass just before the road and about to cross the street as cars speed by.

Suddenly a street light illuminates the body, and instantly, I recognize the face, the hair, everything. "Diane, wait." I say frantically, grabbing the car door handle before unbuckling.

"What? What's wrong?" She asks.

"I'm going to leave, but don't worry, I'll be back at your condo really soon, I just need to-" I don't finish my sentence, stopping it short as I get out of the car and run across the street, cars speeding up and honking for me to get out of the way.

My heart races and blood pumps as I see Louis about to step off the curb, obviously drunk off of his ass as he stumbles carelessly around. I make it across, my hands shaking.

"Louis!" I yell, the wind drowning out my voice.

"Louis!" I yell again.

He steps off the safe part and begins to walk into the road, my heart almost shooting out of my chest before I reach him and grab his wrist, pulling him back before he gets hit by a sudden speeding truck.

His body crashes into mine, making me stumble backwards and almost fall, although, I am able to hold him up as he puts all his weight on me. But when I let him go, he falls to the floor on his knees lazily. I roll my eyes and clench my fists.

"Louis! What the hell are you doing?" I yell, tears suddenly springing to my eyes. He looks up at me slowly, an unconcentrated and hazy look in his eye. He won't remember that this happened at all. "Why are you out here getting drunk you fucking idiot?" I ask, voice cracking as I kneel down in front of him, his eyes following my every movement in the darkness. The alcohol smell on him is fresh and strong as hell. "Your not supposed to do this." I sob, shoulders pathetically shaking as I look down at the floor, the hot tears now freely rolling down my cold cheeks.

"Rauline." He says quietly. I look up at him slowly again, making eye contact with his blue eyes instantly.

"What?" I snap. He flinches at my tone before giving me a small, goofy smile.

"I-i've missed you so much." He says.

"Your drunk, Louis. Just shut up." I mumble.

"No I'm not." He says, chuckling lightly.

"Yes, you are."

"Rauline!" A voice yells. I look up to see Diane running from the parking lot in front of the bar. "Hey, what's wrong?" She asks before looking at Louis and slowing down her pace when they look at each other. I grimace and look down at the grass beneath me, picking at the strands of green growing out of the ground. "Want me to drive him home?" She asks.

I shake my head. "I will." I say softly. I reach over towards him and grab the keys that dangle from his pocket. Then I look at Diane again.

"You can go home."

The girl parts her lips,looking as if she wants to protest.

"Seriously, I'll be okay." I say reassuringly with a small smile as I stand up.

"Okay." She breathes. "Um, be careful." She tells me. "At least let me help you get him in there?" She says.

I nod before the both of us grab him by the arms and hoist him up easily. "He's light." Diane mumbles, making me look at her.

Then I look at him when his eyes begin to close as we drag his lazy body to his car. I swallow thickly and feel my eyes begin to burn again before looking away, trying to see past the sudden blurriness in my eyes.

"He has the black Porsche." I tell Diane. She nods and then we eventually make it.

I unlock the car and we put him in the passenger seat and I buckle him up like a mother to her child.

"Be careful." Diane repeats. I nod silently before she turns around and leaves.

With a heavy sigh, I get in the passenger seat of the car and look over to see him sleeping, heavy breathes emitting past his lips.

I can't fathom up how grateful I am I knew his intentions while I was in the car before it was too late.

I grip the steering wheel tightly and close my eyes, trying to calm down so I won't drive on the road with shaky hands. I try not to think if I was too late what would happen.

It's cold outside so I turn up the heater in the car before driving out of the parking lot and on the street again.

Suddenly I hear Louis breathing heavier, making me look at him in concern.

He's doing the same thing I've seen him do recently, like when he was at the restuarant with his parents, or when I was at his house one of the many times I've been there.

I furrow my brows, wondering what may be happening to him.

His breathing gets faster and his fists that rest on his lap tighten. A sweat breaks out on his forehead and that makes me pull over quickly. At the same time, his eyes snap open suddenly.

I turn on the light in the car and he looks up at me, breathing quick and heavy, looking as if he may die on the spot. My eyes widen and I part my lips, not knowing what to do as he looks at me. Suddenly, his cold hand grabs mine, making me jump. He grips it tightly and closes his eyes, leaning back against the seat.

"Louis." I whisper as I watch his breathing decrease in pace and his chest begin to move slower. "Are you okay?" I whisper, feeling the bile in my throat rise. I swallow and blink away my tears.

He looks at me again and his grip loosens around my hand. "Panic attack." He says. I part my lips.

"Since when?"

"Last year." He says quietly.

"How do you know?" I furrow my eyebrows, speaking quietly as if I may startle him and make him run if I spoke too loudly.

"I went to a therapist. They diagnosed me." He tells me, looking away now.

"L-louis." I stammer. He looks again, concern filling his eyes. I've seen this look before. But I was too angry at him to notice the real worry that fills his blue irises. "Why didn't you tell me?" I ask softly.

"Not impor-"

"Bullshit." I snap. "It is fucking important! You need to speak to me or anyone for that matter!" I exclaim,letting go of his hand and staring out the windshield. "I mean, how many times did you go to that therapist after you were diagnosed with this?" I ask.

"I didn't." He mumbles.

"Why Louis?" I breath. "It's unhealthy to hold everything inside." I whisper to him. "You eventually let it out on other people and maybe even yourself. You go...crazy." I say.

He doesn't respond, making me look at him.

"Do you realize that now?" I ask.

He flickers his gaze out the window.

I sigh heavily in frusteration.

"Why are you crying?"

I rub at my eyes. "Because you scared me you idiot!" I yell suddenly, feeling my cheeks flush. A shaky breath releases past my lips.

"How?" He asks, turning his body towards me.

"Y-you almost fucking killed yourself. How else?" I snap. "Just stop talking to me please." I sigh, starting the car again before driving on the road again.

I eventually have to turn up the radio because of the awkward silence that is making me sweat profusely.

When we make it home, Louis can come out of the car by himself, but he still stumbles a little on his legs.

I help him by holding his arm until we get inside of the house and we walk up the steps and then he gets on his bed slowly. I don't walk away right away, I can't find it in myself to.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow." I tell him. "And um...I'll pay the babysitter for you." I say. I then look at the clock to see its twelve o' clock.

"Can you stay?"

"What?" I ask, not sure if I heard him correctly.

"Can you stay here? In the bed with me? Sleep with me." He says.

"No Louis. I can't." I say. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Please Rauline." He says.

I don't respond as I walk out of the room quickly. I rush down the stairs and pay the baby sitter and he leaves.

When it's just me, left in the silence, I contemplate if I should really leave or not.

THE NEXT DAY

I close my eyes as I lean against the bathroom stall, feeling completely exhausted. I only got three hours of sleep last night. I feel myself drifting off to sleep as I stand up.

THREE YEARS EARLIER

"Yes! Yes! Die hoe! Die! Fuck yeah!" Louis exclaimed, throwing the gaming control onto the ground before jumping up from the couch and pumping his fist into the air.

"Shut up,Louis. It's just a game." Harry snappd, throwing his controller on the ground as well.

Louis laughed. "Were you saying that when you beat me in Fifa last week? Um, I don't think so." He snapped back to Harry. "Sore loser." Louis mumbled.

"Whatever. How are those cookies?" Harry turned around to ask me, giving Louis the hand in the process.

"Delicioso." I said, imitating the map in Dora as I give a thumbs up.

"I think Louis deserves a cookie from Rauline since he just won that game." Louis said, reaching for a cookie before I slapped his hand, making him pull away with an offended look on his face as Harry bursted out laughing.

"Damn, rejected." Harry chuckled, shaking his head.

"Shut up, Harry, you can't have a cookie either." Louis snapped.

"Let me play against the winner." I said, getting up from laying on Louis' bed and walking over to the couch in their dorm room to get a controller.

"Alright fine." Louis smirks, taking a seat beside me.

"I bet you fifty bucks she's going to win easy." Harry said.

"Thank you, Harry." I grinned smugly.

"Deal then." Louis remarked, pushing up his sleeves and straightening his posture. "Shit just got serious."

"Suck my nonexistent dick, boy." I snapped.

"Savage!" Harry exclaimed from his head inside of the mini fridge.

"Hey, if you don't mind, pass me a Sprite!" Louis said to Harry.

"Only winners get Sprite." Harry responded, throwing me a Sprite suddenly and I fortunately catch it in my hand before the game started.

"You bastard."

Louis pressed start and I used all my power to win at this game.

I lost but I still got a Sprite and a pat on the back from Harry.

After, Harry had to leave to go to his job. Louis and I stayed inside of the dorm.

My cheeks flushed as he straddled me and kissed down my neck, making me grip the sheets below me tightly.

I was nervous doing something like this with him every time since we were dating for just a few months at the time.

And it was the first time I was doing something like this with anyone. We did it frequently too. And I liked it.
Only with him.

He made me feel beautiful, comfortable, unexplainably happy.

I've never felt that way before.

PRESENT

My eyes snap open when I hear the bathroom door open. I notice a smile is etched onto my lips from the memory, but I quickly wipe it off.

"So he's paying you to stay with him?" I hear Lucia's voice ask with a chuckle.

"Yeah, but I like it. It's only for like a month too. Plus he's hot as fuck. I hope I can get him into bed one day."

It is just like her to gossip. I roll my eyes in annoyance. She hasn't changed the slightest bit.

"I thought he was still married to Rauline, though." Lucia says, making my muscles freeze and for me to hold my breath.

"No, they divorced. And he wanted her to think he moved on so he asked me out but said that we can't do anything. But I didn't take that because like, why the hell am I going to date your nice ass if I can't do shit?"

I feel my blood boiling from her words. Both from what Louis did and the fact she's just exposing him to the worst person possible. Lucia is most likely going to tell the whole office.

"So then what?"

"That's why he started to pay me."

That's when I open the stall door, making it slam against the wall. Katie and Lucia look back at me with widened eyes.

"Are you guys in grade school?" I chuckle bitterly. "Seriously? Your fucking gossiping in the bathroom as you fix your damn makeup? This is pitiful." I shake my head.

"Why are you listening?" Katie snaps.

"Why am I-" I stop talking, exasperated. "You know what? Don't go near Louis ever again." I snap back.

"And who the hell are you to keep me away from him?" Katie scoffs.

"The woman who married him in the first place!" I exclaim before turning, not wanting to fight with their immature asses, and I walk out of the bathroom.

In lightening speed I begin to pass out all the mail, not giving people a second glance when they greet me.

When I reach the last cubicle I stop before actually showing myself, not sure if he's there or not. I sigh shakily and close my eyes. Why the hell am I nervous? He's my ex-husband.

I push the cart forward and grab his mail in he process before walking into the cubicle, just to see it empty. I slump my shoulders and simply set the mail on the desk.

"May higher class workers come to the board room, please? Thank you." The boss says over a speaker.

I feel my phone suddenly buzz, making me take it out of the pocket in my skirt.

Boss: Come to the board room. Bring water.

I sigh heavily and furrow my eyebrows, I've never been to the board room before, but I remember her giving me a guide and map of where everything is around here.