I was sprawled out on the plush couch, leaning against a cushion with my tablet. I was sketching a flower while Raiden and Reina laid on the floor.

I scratched the stylus pen across the glowing screen, creating a deep black hole inside the petals, with pale dots splattered on the torn leaves. The background was shattered glass that resembled my past, trying to piece them back together but unable to with the misfit pieces. Just like how I can barely piece together whether my tata had genuine love for me or if I was nothing but a replacement for my late mamă.

I stared at th drawing while squeezing my stylus pen. I felt a headache coming on, so I put it down and watched what my kids were doing.

"What are you doing in that book Reiny?" Raiden asked.

"A page on Pokémon," Reina said as more blue paper got torn.

"Can I draw something?"

"Nu, your hands are too sticky," Reina said and stuck her tongue out. She took some blue rhinestone stickers and placed them around the water-types, as well as on her face.

He wiped away the pickle juices down his shirt and stuck out his fingers. "They're not sticky anymore."

Reina stared at his fingers and slowly slid her book over. He grabbed it and scooted over, leaning against her back like a pillow. He got a blue coloring pencil and circled a spiral into a corner. He got another pickle from his jar and munched on it. Reina stared at him suspiciously and quickly took the book away. 

"Do you like it?" He said, dropping the pencil like a microphone and smiled widely.

"What is that?"

He frowned and his eyes bounced from her to the page. "It's a whirlpool!"

"Ohh I see it." Reina said and stuck a shell sticker in the middle. "I think it's ugly." She started snickering and yelped when Raiden elbowed her, causing her to laugh even more.

"It's not ugly!" Raidan exclaimed, "I think it's a very good whirlpool." He nodded proudly to himself and spun the pencil around on the floor. "One day I can show you one inside two bottles since I watched a youtube video about it."

"Okay, let me know when you make it," she said.

A peaceful sigh escaped my lips, gently brushing my piercing as I returned to my drawing. I shaded a rough blur toward the stained, broken rose. And was followed by a border of peach petals raining down. The light of my kids being one of the few things I was grateful to still have.

"Kids, come see what I made," I said, placing the tablet flat on my lap. Reina went round the couch and Raiden managed to squeeze himself next to me.

"Is that a flower?" Reina asked.

"Da. It's a rose." My lips stretched into a proud smile as Raidan peered closer. He leaned over and began zooming into the petals and his head flopped against my chest.

"It's really nice," he said.

"Da Mamă, I didn't know you could draw like that," Reina said. She tugged the screen towards her as her face bloomed with curiosity.

"Well my dear, I used to love drawing as a little girl. I wanted to do it as a career but my tată was strongly against it and wanted me to do something in medicine instead," I said, quickly switching my gaze between them.

"It would've been cool if you did. The flower is very good," Raidan said.

"Thanks honey, I appreciate that." I stroked his hair as he shuffled under my chin. I continued looking at the picture with my little ones. Just the three of us cuddling under the beam that drizzled with warmth.

I wish I had more time to cherish these moments when they were younger. Instead of having to constantly survive and then end up watching them grow behind bars and limited visits. 

I closed my eyes and stroked their hair. I felt myself beginning to relax like I was laying flat against a rippling body of water. Where I didn't have to think about the past anymore. We were finally safe.

Suddenly a loud bang jolted me awake.

"What was that?" Reina asked and instantly looked towards the window.

"I don't know..." I said and got up. I groaned with mild irritation and stumbled towards the window. I peeked through the flowered curtain, and the gloomy night time thickened the air around the trees, as they hazed into the darkness. But I could see the lid of my garbage can rattling outside the gate.

"What is that?" I mumbled and shut the curtain. I grabbed a frying pan from the kitchen and put on a coat before stepping outside.

The chilly air nipped at my fingers as I clutched the handle tightly. I strode through the leaves that the wind whisked around my legs. I was certain there was no way someone could climb over due to the pointy tops, but I wanted to make sure everything was alright.

Once I was at the end, I looked around before unlocking the gate and slowly lifted the lid. I gasped as a squirrel jumped out. It ran across the pavement and up a tree.

I sighed and closed the lid, feeling relieved and ready to go back inside. But then I saw Andreea across the street, carrying bags of shopping and a leash wrapped around her arm. I waved to her and had the sudden idea that maybe she had some advice on how I can talk to Reina since she was much older.

I fastened the gate and quickly walked over.

"Săru'mâna Doamnă Andreea," I greeted her with a respectful greeting. She turned to me with a startled face but immediately relaxed when she saw it was me.

"O Bună Mona," she greeted me back. "how are you?"

"I'm good, thanks. Do you need help with your shopping?"

"O it's alright. You don't have to."

"Nu it's okay. I don't mind." I took one bag and then we walked together towards her porch. Her little pup Lalea barked and sniffed around my leg.

"Hei Lalea," I said and stroked her head. She licked my fingers and ran back to Andreea.

"How has your day been?" I asked.

"It's been alright. I just went to church this morning and had a walk in the park with an old friend and Lalea, before I did my shopping."

"That sounds nice. All I did today was take my daughter to her riding session and rested at home," I said and entered her home. I put the bag down while Andreea advanced with her embroidered skirt sweeping swiftly across the dark oak floor.

"Aw that sounds lovely. So your daughter rides horses?" She glanced back and opened the door leading to a kitchen, and Lalea quickly ran through with her tail wagging.

"Da. She does it every weekend and really enjoys it," I said, caressing my arm as I glazed over my surroundings. I eyed a table that had a stream of seashells simmering along portraits of young children. And a younger-looking Andreea pictured with someone that looked like her late husband she spoke about from time to time.

"That's good, and I hope your son is doing fine." She said from the kitchen and reappeared with a dainty smile and leaned on the entrance.

"Yeah he's also okay. They are just at home because we heard a noise outside but it was a squirrel." I shrugged while my chest quietly heated up with embarrassment.

"Was that the reason you were outside now?" She chuckled and came over, and I handed her the other bag.

"Thank you for your help Mona. I really appreciate it," she said, her dimples curved with gratitude as she went back to the kitchen. Meanwhile, I waited while brushing my arm to ease the awkwardness I was starting to feel.

"Um Doamnă Andreea," I called after her as a clash of pots and pans echoed back. "Is it okay if you can give me some advice for something?"

"What's that dear?" She came while wiping her hands on her sleeve. "Did you say you needed advice?"

"Da, if that's alright with you."

"Of course. I'll be happy to help you any way I can." She closed the door and gently took my hand while her brown eyes sparkled with tenderness.

"Why don't we go outside as it usually helps me relax."

I nodded and followed her to the balcony and sat on her porch swing. It had vines woven around with buttons of blooming pink flowers. The night had calmly settled in. No sound peeped from the trees and the stars sparkled in the infinite sky.

"So what did you want to ask me?" Andreea asked.

"So there's something very important that I have to discuss with my daughter and I don't know how to go about it," I said, fully turning to her. "I'm worried I'll say the wrong thing, so I was wondering if you had any ideas on what I can do." I said and crossed my arms, letting out a massive sigh. It was ridiculous having to ask for help like this, and being unable to discuss it confidently on my own.

"What's this thing that you have to discuss with your daughter?" She said and gently rubbed my back like I was her beloved pet. I squirmed a bit but it slowly began to feel oddly comforting.

"I don't want to say, but I need to discuss it urgently and am just wondering if you know how I can go about it."

"Well what about doing some research? If you're this worried you're going to say something wrong, then maybe just double check the facts you have on this subject."

"That's not actually a bad idea. I could do that," I muttered to myself while gazing up at the stars.

"Also, if your still worried about this, maybe get someone who you both trust to join you in your discussion."

"Yeah I can do that." I nodded with determination and then got up. "Thanks Doamna Andreea for your help."

"No problem dear, I hope it helps," she said, her eyes twinkled with affection as I stepped down her porch.

"Noapte bună Doamna Andreea," I bid her goodnight. "See you tomorrow." I waved as she graciously returned it.

When I came back, my twins were still sitting on the couch, huddled up and staring wonderingly at me.

"It was nothing, just a squirrel," I said.

"O, that's really good. I really thought someone was going to break in," Reina said.

"No sweetie, no one's coming," I smiled with reassurance and grabbed my tablet. "Come on, start getting ready for bed," I said and headed upstairs to my room and locked the door.

I got out my phone to ring Jenny. Since Reina texted her about her period, I figured she would be the right person to ask for help with discussing this.

I flopped against the pillow, snuggling myself into the sheets while it dialled in my ear. I felt better and more confident about this since I now got some extra advice. But I hope she answers because I don't know if she's awake yet.

"Hello?" A flowery voice finally came through.

"Hi Jenny, it's me Mona." I replied in English.

"Oh hi Mona, how are you and the kids doing?"

"We're fine thanks." She still sounded as lovely as we last spoke on the phone. I'm glad my kids got put with someone nice as that was one of my biggest fears.

"Are you free to talk right now?"

"I'm just about to have my breakfast, but I am free to talk."

"Okay I won't keep you long." I rolled over to a more comfortable position. "So yesterday, Reina told me that you messaged her about a problem she had." I tightened my lips as my stomach bubbled, and bitterness seeped into my mouth. The sour reminder that Reina went to her first. Even though she's my daughter, she's supposed to come to me with her problems.

"Yes, I remember. It sounded like she saw her period and didn't know what was happening."

"Yes... that's right." I smiled through my strained lips and gripped my trousers tightly. My eyes started stinging a little but I blinked it back. "So I was wondering if I can call you again and you can help me explain it all to her."

"Oh sure I'll be happy to help. Is there anything you're unsure about?"

"Sort of. I just need someone to be there with me in case I say anything that's incorrect," I said. I then massaged the bridge of my nose while letting out a low groan, feeling ridiculous that it had to come to this.

"Anyway, is tomorrow be okay for you? But a bit of earlier. Since I was thinking the best time is when she's back from school."

"That's fine, I'll definitely be up by then. Just call me when your ready."

"Okay. Thanks again for agreeing to help me Jenny," I said, trying to lighten my tone with sincerity. But my stomach curdled with discomfort.

"No problem Mona, I'm always happy to help." She chuckled over the line. "Also thank you for the last postcard you sent me."

"I'm glad you liked it." I laughed lightly and ran my tongue over my gap. "Anyway, I'll speak to you tomorrow as I'll be going to bed soon."

"Alright, goodnight Mona!"

"Night Jenny, talk to you tomorrow!"

I ended the call and threw my phone beside and just stared at it. The discomforting fire didn't go away, as I couldn't shake the feeling that my daughter couldn't come to me first. I'm supposed to be her mother.

But I do feel much better and more better prepared to have that talk with her.

A/N: Hey I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Here's the pic Mona was drawing(ex the petals):