In the midst of the breezy afternoon, I was outside with Mihai and Raiden, dribbling around a ball. Any speck of the sky was shrouded by heavy clouds that gradually darkened with their deep rumbling, looming over us. While heavy thoughts shadowed everything in my mind remained.

All night I couldn't stop thinking about how my father had me cooped up. Never able to make friends since I was home-schooled, not allowed to play with the other kids outside our block. I just stayed at home and focused on satisfying father's needs since he didn't have my Mamă.

All while I buried my frustration under years of compliance, a simmering bitterness covered with a painted smile. Until last night when it all came boiling back as surges of anger convulsed through my arms.

I struggled to sleep while my thoughts raged like a thundering storm, causing me to grab my pillow, choking it in a deathly grip. My heart palpitated as I squeezed out my fury into its neck. Like straining a fruit until its juices spilled out.

The fabric tightened like veins popping out of a strangled neck, but it wasn't enough so I slammed it down and thumped against my bed. I released an irritated sigh as I glared at the ceiling. But father's words started roaring inside my mind:

"All I've done is keep you safe and yet you despise me."

"Miserable and ungrateful creature."

I turned as guilt started squeezing my heart with the way I was thinking of him. Those words were constantly hurled at me whenever I would feel mad about being left out. But he always said it was better for me to be at home than at school because only he knew what was best for his little girl.

I finally fell asleep thinking that my father probably had a good reason to keep me away. And he didn't want to lose me after losing my Mamă. But I still wanted to know if I had missed out on anything.

"You know I was surprised when you called me to talk about something because we saw each other yesterday," Mihai said, chuckling lightly. He ran around a tree, kicking the ball. He pushed up his hair, uncovering his scarlet cheeks that brimmed with sweat.

"Mmm da..." I mumbled and caressed some hair behind my ear. When the ball got passed to me, I bent down to pick it up, while my belly filled with anxiety.

But I just watched the tall trees whistle quietly in the wind. They encased us in a little backyard and provided me a sense of comfort with what I wanted to talk about later.

I kicked the ball back, and he began bouncing it on his knees. Raiden cheered until the ball flew over to him.

"Can you do what I did Ray?" Mihai said, pacing around.

"Of course!" Raiden exclaimed, his face brightening with confidence, as he sent the ball spinning high. He caught it with one knee and juggled the ball between them.

"Unu, doi, trei, patru..." he started counting while hopping around. The ball swiftly passed without touching the ground. Until he tossed it up to his head and bopped it.

"Bravo Raiden, you're doing really well," Mihai said as he went and stood next to him. He grabbed the ball and started spinning it on his finger. "I tried teaching your mamă that but she kept kicking herself in the face."

Raiden burst out laughing but tightened his lips after glancing over at me. He slapped his hands over them and instantly lowered his face, shielding it with the shadows, but his cheeks still puffed out like balloons.

"Scuze Mami!" He quickly apologized and turned to me. "Please don't be mad. I—I didn't mean t— to laugh."

"It's fine." I waved it off, and he continued kicking it around. But then started coughing heavily.

"Raiden, are you okay?" I asked and went to his side. I hugged him tightly while patting his back.

"Da." He nodded and smiled weakly at me.

"Okay do you want to take a little break?"

"Sigur!" he replied with 'sure' and we all went inside. I made him some hot chocolate to warm his chest, while he stood beside me, holding his emoji pillow and a packet of Eugenia cookies.

"Here you go my dear," I said, pouring it into a cup and handed it to him. He thanked me and ran up to his room. Then I grabbed a bottle of Ciuc beer for Mihai and wine for myself and placed the drinks on the glass table.

"We used to have lots of fun like that, didn't we Mona?" He said, drinking from his bottle while I did the same.

"Da, we really did." I nodded away and swept a piece of hair back. "But I always wanted to go over to your place." I sighed and stared at my drink, swirling the dark liquid as the sadness wavered around my words. Anytime his family would invite me and dad to dinners or special events, he would persistently refuse.

"Me too. I remember your tată always said 'next time' but next time never came," Mihai added with a slight chuckle bouncing out.

"I know..." I mumbled, slowly clawing at the couch with irritation, thinking about it all. However, I straightened myself and relaxed my fingers. "So what kind of things did you and your family used to do?" I asked, crossing my legs.

"Well we used to play many board games on Friday night, or watch movies and make up our own games as a family..."

I listened carefully while his words continuously flowed in my ears. But I felt a minor pain of jealousy burning at the missed opportunities in their fun.

"Aw, that sounds so nice," I said through pursed lips. I tucked my arms in like a pillow and rested on them, while thinking how nice it would've been to do those with my best friend.

"Tu?" Mihai said, breaking through my thoughts. I blinked blankly as he stared directly at me, waiting for an answer with a cheery smile sprinkled on his lips. I cleared my throat while I shifted in my seat.

"Da I did some similar things," I replied, but heaved out a heavy sigh. "Mostly games my tată made up and wanted to play, but he did play with my toys too sometimes," I mumbled and leaned back while taking a sip. "Sorry I wasn't allowed to come to yours. I guess my tată  just wanted me home a lot." I sighed, gently rocking my legs and laying back into the cushion.

"I'm glad I always had you, though," I added. Even though I was only allowed a short time with him each day, I enjoyed every second of it.

He returned the smile and fiddled with his fingers. "I know. You tried smothering me with kisses every chance you got." He snorted and started laughing.

"Serios?" I said while refilling up my glass. "Because I don't remember doing that," I said and crossed my leg over the other, taking a sip.

"Da da, sure you don't..." He rolled his eyes as they flickered in amusement. "I can never forget where you just grabbed me into a hug and then tried to French kiss me you little weirdo," he said.

I suddenly choked on my drink and started coughing. He started laughing, and I stared dead at him as his words sparked alive a horrible memory I had completely forgotten about.

"You remember now?"

"Da da, I remember now." My cheeks were now flushed as that memory brought me so much shame and embarrassment. "Why did you have to remind me of that?"

"Because it's funny to think about," Mihai said and played with his fingers, "silly goose."

"Scuze Mihăiță," I apologized and brushed some hair away. "I promise I didn't mean to freak you out," I said and stared down at my fingers.

"O don't worry Mona. Now that we are older, we can laugh about it," he said, grinning like the sunlight beaming round his head.

I smiled with relief and leaned down onto my knees. "I just really loved having you as my friend and wanted to show that, like how my tată showed me."

"What?" Mihai said, scrunching his face in confusion. "Your tati used to kiss you like that?" and I nodded.

"O, that sounds really strange and gross..." he said and took another sip. "I've never seen something like that happen before in my life."

"O okay..." I mumbled and leaned onto the side. I started tracing circles against the fabric while trying to ignore how his words stuck to me and made me feel a heat of awkwardness burning inside.

But I continued drinking my wine and ignored the feeling. "I'm glad you continued hanging out with me even if I did frighten you." I brushed my hair back and faced the light where he was seated.

"Because I really enjoyed spending time with you, and felt bad about leaving you alone."

I smiled gratefully and laid back into the chair. "Please tell me that was the only time that you felt uncomfortable."

"Only with you," he said and quickly tapped on his phone. But paused for a minute before lifting his eyes towards me. "There was a time where your tată got so angry that I ended up wetting my trousers."

I froze, but I knew what he was talking about. Another time when I was trying to peck his cheeks with kisses while we stacked corn cobs like legos. Only this time my father caught me and his eyes burned like flames. His anger scorched his face crimson as he bellowed at Mihai, causing him to tremble with fear and ran out.

My father swiftly then turned and loudly accused me of preferring Mihai over him and ruining our special connection. I begged for forgiveness, but my cries fell on deaf ears as he decided to beat me while calling me a "curvă."(whore).

"Da I remember." I said and stared hard at the ground. "I hated how angry he would always get and the way he would yell at you."

"Me too. Sometimes I feel like he was going to eat me," Mihai said before getting up and stretching out his arms. "Anyway I have to go now. Have to buy something and then go to Laura's." He then walked over to me.

"Alright. Tell her I said hei," I said and he fist-bumped me.

"Will do, see you sometime next week!" He said and went towards the door.

When he left, I glanced at the clock and noticed it was almost time to pick up Reina from horse riding. So I grabbed my keys from the table and called out to Raiden to start getting ready if he wanted to come. Then, I slipped into my bedroom and began changing.

I picked out a black halter top and shuffled through my closet, but I couldn't stop thinking about how father treated me when there wasn't even any danger. The more I pulled my clothes apart, the more agitated I became.

"Can't believe he kept me confined all those years..." I grumbled and pulled out some leggings. "All for nothing... all his protection was for nothing!" I shouted out and dragged out my leather jacket. I flung it onto the bed and pulled my leggings up.

I briefly glanced at myself through the mirror and adjusted my strap while sighing.

I hated it, I hated it all. But what was worse is he kept me captive just like Xavier. Wasn't allowed to attend my senior prom or high school graduation party. And I would never forget when he stared at me with a cold glare, freezing me with the same fear I always felt with my father when I was in big trouble. All because I waved goodbye to a boy I befriended in class.

I hugged myself as my hot tears seeped out. I didn't want to believe father was the same as him. He was my family, he must have loved me. Whereas Xavier was never my family, he could never love me. But then  how could he keep me cooped up inside like that...

Suddenly, a headache shot through my temples, as I yelped in pain.

"So am I now not good enough for you Mona? You prefer hanging out with others instead of me?" Tată seethed out his clenching teeth, his scarlet knuckles gripping his belt as he towered over me.

"Nu... nu... not again, please not again," I whispered to myself, gripping the sides of my hair as my head wrung with pain. His voice pierced me like needles. But it didn't stop, he never stopped...

"I try hard to make your life fun when I don't have your mama, but all you want to do is leave me miserable," He exclaimed while pacing around me. "Do you like seeing me unhappy? Is that why you took your mama away from me?"

More tears broke out and I wept, faltering to the floor, with guilt weighing down my chest. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry tati..."

I curled into a fetal position while my tears continued dripping. I cupped my mouth, so Raiden wouldn't hear me and let out all my frustrated screams.

If only he still had my mamă, then he wouldn't be so lonely without me.

If only I didn't take her away...

I sniffed and slowly sat up. Although I hated the way he treated me and couldn't forget how unhappy it made me feel, I couldn't keep thinking about it, so I got up and finished changing. Because of my headache I didn't feel comfortable driving, so I decided I'll call an Uber instead.

Once I got ready, I went out of my bedroom and saw Raiden waiting on the bottom step, so I went and waited beside him.

A/N: Hey guys I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I'm so so sorry it took so long to update this book!