My life. It has lost its meaning. Why was I even living? What's the meaning of living like this, seriously? I imagined so many light moments of mine with Taehyung but they just never happened.

It all just ended up being a dream. Nothing became real.

I couldn't recall a single moment where I shared a laugh with Taehyung letting go of all the worldly worries. It never happened. Never.

I was strolling down a pathway holding the shopping bag. The morning sunlight hit my face as I squinted my eyes and walked past people.

I know whatever happened this morning with Taehyung was my fault. I know I overreacted a bit. I know I should have just let him do whatever he wants but it's... It's just that I love him. I know that he only looks at me with eyes full of lust. I know, I know. But it's just that, my heart does not accept the reality. I always just end up denying the reality, because I love him, I want him to love me back not devour over me. Because I'm his wife.

Am I not?

Hence, when the truth comes before my eyes it hurts even more than before.

It feels like a stabbing on the chest when he treats me like a prostitute his father hired for him. I couldn't live like this. I know he hates me and only comes back to me just to fulfill his requirements. I know what he's doing is wrong and I should hate him but that's- that's the thing about love. You can't just hate someone you loved once with all your heart in a snap of a finger. It's harder than it sounds. I just can't hate him. It's just impossible.

Even if I hate him for a while, the next moment my heart ends up giving him a second chance. Cause who knows, maybe... Maybe he'll look at me and smile with respect in his eyes for my love. Maybe he'll cuddle with me and whisper in my ears sweet dreams. I know these things would never happen and I'm just dreaming stuff. But dreams... you know the same old dreams, they make you believe things that will never happen.

"Hey, Mrs. Kim!" An amused voice called out as I turned my head and spotted Jungkook waving at me from the other side of the road. I waved him back trying to smile and look cheerful. He crossed the road. He was wearing casual jeans and a shirt just like me. I felt a bit better with the company of Jungkook.

We ended up in a cafeteria talking about some casual stuff. My mind was occupied with Taehyung but still, I tried to keep my concentration on Jungkook.

I put my one hand on the table and placed my face on my palm while I stirred the coffee with my other hand by a spoon slowly, smiling and nodding slowly as Jungkook spoke about his future plans.

All I could think about was Taehyung and him betraying me. We could have lived such a beautiful life if only he understood his mistakes. At one point I wasn't even listening to Jungkook anymore when suddenly I realized he stopped talking.

I looked up, our eyes met, and I found him staring at me with an open mouth and widened eyes, he instantly looked away.

"Oh sorry, I wasn't paying attention to you." I apologized smiling lightly trying to ease the situation.

"It's-fine, it's fine." Jungkook hesitantly assured me. I made him uncomfortable. I'm really very good at ruining people's moods just like what Taehyung said.

Then he continued and I was just looking at him, tracing his face and expressions calmly. I thought we became so close suddenly. Once we were strangers and now we're, friends? I wonder does he count me as one of his friends or not.

I didn't know about him but for me, Jungkook was like a really good friend. He was someone I could talk to when I'm feeling lonely. Other than my Mom he was the only one. I liked being with him. I wished to tell him about Taehyung but I didn't want to ruin Taehyung's friendship. Afterall Taehyung hates me and doing such a thing would make him hate me even more which I'd never wish to happen.

"So tell me something about yourself?" Jungkook spoke, I tried to smile, "About me?"

The cafeteria was mostly empty and the atmosphere was so silent, so peacefully calm, with the morning light and fresh flowers in vases on the background.

"Yeah, like your likes dislikes?" He asked and I just shrugged shyly, "Well, there are many..."

He chuckled, "Oh okay, let's start with something basic then? Shall we?"

I nodded, "Okay."

"So, your favorite color?"

"Peach. And Your?"

"Well as I'm a fashion designer so basically I gotta need to make all the colors my bae," Jungkook spoke and we both cracked in laughter. I knew he was a fashion designer, heard from Taehyung once.

"But I wonder why do you like peach Mrs. Kim?" He asked, making me confused for a while. Seriously, why do I like the peach color?

I blinked a few times before saying -"I don't know. I just like it you know. I guess because it's very soft looking, not too harsh or girly or too boyish. It suits everyone."

He placed both of his hands on the table and placed his face on them smiling sweetly, "Do you know, every color has it's own countless different shades..."

"...just like humans indeed." He completed his sentence with a sad smile, and I didn't know why he said that but I instantly felt a tinge of pain in my chest as I nodded. I was still just stirring the coffee, with my face placed on my palm. Didn't even taste it once. I shifted my gaze outside and looked through the thick fancy glass wall at the cars and people crossing by. "Some shades hurt more than others. I wish some shades of colors just never existed." I muttered.

Jungkook became serious, "But then the color would be incomplete don't you think? Rather too bland. People have both dark and light shades and I guess without the dark ones they are just as incomplete as a color. Life would be so boring don't you think with the same light shades?"

"At least not painful," I muttered. There was a very sad silence. It was killing me inside. I felt as if I was gonna blackout. My heart ached to recall my memories with Taehyung. Him being harsh to me for no specific reason. I try my best but he just rejects me every time. I bit my inner cheeks.

Jungkook looked concerned, "Are you okay Mrs. Kim? You look sad?"

"I'm fine!"

"Are you sure?" He asked with a serious face.

I smiled from cheek to cheek, "Yeah! I'm fine."

Jungkook looked concerned but let out a long breath and with a calm look said, "Every color has its own meaning. Do you know what peach means?" He asked softly and I was just looking at him with an unbreakable stare.

He mumbled softly with a small smile,

"Immortality."

Then he started speaking in a beautiful rhythmic tone as if reading a poem written on an invisible book,

"You'll be immortal in the hearts of those you'll meet.

Even if you just vanish into the thin air.

Even if people forget who you were.

The ones you met will always hold a piece of you with them, wherever they go.

The mark that you have placed over them, will never wash away."

"I read it somewhere. Isn't it beautiful?" Jungkook asked.

The ends of my lips lifted up and for the first time since a long while I smiled from inside. Tears appeared in my eyes. I was happy. I nodded in agreement.

Author's Note^^ 28/12/2019

Just a quick update after a decade.

I haven't honestly written for a long time and again starting writing was well... hArD af.

I used to miss writing so much ☹️☹️😭

I seriously wrote after a long time.

Basically after a month maybe.

And the reason behind this--

ALERT!!! Literally every FREAKING writer who has ever walked on this earth or universe can relate to this and it's just SOOOO fReAkiNg annoying like seriously 😡😡🤦‍♀🤦‍♀🤦‍♀

My daily writing routine in a nutshell-

I guess my writing style has changed a bit. I'm still not sure if this chapter has that same charm and emotional feel like the previous ones. I just wrote it and well just update it here (after some editing oF cOuRsE)

BTW MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! AND HAPPY NEW YEAR 2020 IN ADVANCE TO Y'ALL!!! 🎅🎉🎊🎉

MAY YOU GUYS HAVE AN AWESOME BRAND NEW YEAR AHEAD!!!

GOTTA GO NOW!

BTW do tell me whether you liked this chapter or not? Okay?

Ok byeee now~~~

Also, not gonna promise a quick update because no more false promises~~~ 😷😷