Indraprasth

Arjun's POV

I squeezed my eyes a bit firmly, followed with a gulp down my throat to dissolve the heavy lump which had accumulated. Breathing a bit deeply to normalize my heart rate, I wrapped an arm around her waist while my other palm inadvertently chose to rub her back and pat it, holding her close.

Her head was sunk down on my shoulder, her palms gripping my upper garment with all her might as she sniffed in intervals. Yesterday's night went eerily silent, both were trying our best to convey everything just through eyes, and bottling up everything for the sake of it. She had puffy eyes when I met her last night, and before I could speak even a word she immediately refused for it and flung her arms around me.

She did drift off to sleep due to the tiredness, while I only held her close to my bosom, letting the fact sink in that I wouldn't be seeing this face for twelve years.

Twelve years, yes. If we count the years it appears to be just twelve, but each year too has each moment in them and if we add up those, it is going to be a huge sum. A very huge sum.

I don't know how to do it. But I just know that I'll have to do it.

Maata is inconsolable, she used to say that she feels her life being sucked out at times when she doesn't see my face. I had to make her fall asleep after a great deal of consolation. Bhrata Bheem claimed that he wasn't yet over caressing my face all over, and the twins weren't ready to leave my embrace. And Jyesth, he just refused to meet my eyes to hide the agony. He had only one phrase on his lips, "Don't go, Phalgun. Don't go."

Not a pleasant sight to witness....

But leaving is necessary. We promised. Yes, we did. I promised.

"Krishnaa," I managed to voice out, tapping her head and running my fingers gently through her tresses. I don't know why, but even in this gloomy atmosphere I felt a bit calm in her presence. I don't remember how she became my importance within such a short span of time, but now that she did, it is becoming a bit demanding of me to desert her away.

I don't know why but, in front of her I feel like a naked soul at times, ready to accept anything. This thing happens when Maadhav is close to me, and now its her as well. 

He, He had said the truth about her.

First I used to believe that only He can provide solace to my soul, but even now she started doing this. She too. And that is what is making this thing a bit more difficult.

But now, I'll-I'll have to do this. I'll have too.

"I, I'll take care of myself." I sucked in a deep breath, gazing down at the corner of the bed. I pursed my lips and bit it firmly, patting her shoulder.

"That's the problem," she voice quivered, "You don't choose to d-do that at times. That's the reason I worry for you," I could feel her warm forehead resting on my shoulder. She finally spoke after such a long time.

You are worrying too much for me Draupadi, too much.

"But I will, trust me." I don't know what to say, though I have a lot to say. A lot.

"You don't, Arjun."

Maata said the same to me sometime ago.

"I promise." Those words swiftly escaped my lips, as I forced myself to gulp a sob down.

"H-how will you stay for twelve years?" Her voice turned squeakier as I felt her warm tears rolling down my shoulders. I understood, she was trying her best not to halt me from leaving.

But she knows that I'll have to.

"I'll just stay." I sighed in her ear, inhaling her fragrance and pressing my lips on her head, "Twelve years would pass, swiftly."

Lie.

"You're going to write to me." she mumbled, her body vibrating as a wave of sniffle passed over her, "Otherwise, otherwise I am not going to speak to you." It is said that you understand the pain of something, unless you go through that 'something'. I, I guess, am now going through that 'something'.

"I will." I deliberately chose to keep my words short, because it is a bit demanding to speak much in this state. We sat there in silence for sometime, letting the fact sink in. Sink deeply. I was feeling numb, or rather I chose to feel that deliberately. It happens, I don't even need to induce that feeling of numbness in me forcefully now that it has been a habit for me with time.

It just happens, by default, at times.

I feel her gasp a bit, as she slowly separated and I could finally have a view of her face. She sat still with her head hung low, locks of hair sticking all over her forehead and messed up. Tears began to brim in my eyes as my heart twisted painfully, but I managed to gulp it down.

I don't know how I end up hurting her at times. I don't even inculcate the thought of it, but it just happens. Just happens. And I can't do anything at that time.

Anything.

I licked my lips, hardening my heart a bit as I gripped her shoulders, half sitting on my knees. I slowly cupped her face and moved away her locks with my fingers, along with her tears.

"Now you listen to me," I exhaled deeply, "You are going to take care of yourself too, okay?" I dashed my orbs around her face, drinking her sight to the fullest. Though clouded with tears, her deep ravenous orphic had the same warmth for me. It was difficult to be abstracted from those saline waters, "Okay?" I shook her shoulder a bit firmly.

She didn't reply, but sniffed again, wiping a drop of tear with her palm.

"Please say yes. Please."

She finally gave a slight nod, shutting her eyes firmly, "I-I'll take care of everything and everyone Arjun. You don't have to worry about, about anything here." Her voice gathered whatever strength it could.

My lips articulated a small smile, "I, I know, no one can handle things better than you," a deep sigh left my lips, "And you, you manage to sort out everything, anything."

Her eyebrows knitted, as she placed her warm palm around mine and curled her fingers around it, gulping a sigh.

"You trust me so much?" her lips moved, as she gave a long blink to her lashes.

"I trust you with my life. My life." my voice was firmed, as I attempted to smile, caressing her cheek with my thumb, "And that's the truth. Because..." I could sense her eyes changing color as her pupils dilated as she began to suck her lips.

My one hand began to grip her free palm, "I don't know why Krishnaa, but-- but it seems like at times that you're just like me. I know, you are an individual, you are meant to be someone unique, be-because you are one." I looked away, not realizing that I was probably speaking my heart to her, " B-but still, I don't know why I see myself in you, at times."

"You know what," today I felt like speaking it out for some reason, I felt like a naked soul once again as my eyebrows gradually knitted.

"My family claims that, 'Arjun is the life of us' ,'We can't set our hearts without Arjun'. I don't know why, I never understood why they claim so. But I just know that th-they do so." a lone drop of tear threatened to spring down as I shook my head slightly, I couldn't even stop it this time, "I always thought what would've happened if I am not there with them? Maybe, I feared a bit about it too."

"Bu-but, you know, now I don't fear that. I don't fear it. Because you are here." I pursed my lips, as all the words that had been engraved in my heart began to surface out unknowingly, "They can't, they can't afford to lament my absence that much, because Draupadi will be here right, as Arjun. Yes, Draupadi will be here as Arjun."  I couldn't help but abstract the smile that unknowingly began to etch on my lips.

"Arju-" But before she could speak, I placed a finger on her lips and closed my eyes, breathing deeply.

"Shhh....You don't have to do anything Krishnaa. You be just as you are, because without doing anything like me, then too you reflect me." my voice unknowingly shook, as I pressed my finger a bit more on her lips, "I might be sorrowful, but I don't fear anymore that now, because you are there right, you- you'll fill the void of Arjun here."

"Just as you fill the void of this Arjun ....." Those words bore truth, as I slowly raised my eyes to meet hers. Tears were continuously cascading down the pair of eyes opposite to me, I could see her eyebrows knitting furiously as she grazed her teeth, drawing in air.

"Please please, take care of yourself Draupadi. Please, you mean a lot to me for many reasons. Not because you only reflect me, that is only a miniscule part of it, but many more things you do...because of what you are."

You don't know how much you mean to me.

She sat still and bemused, as I held her palms tight, bringing it close to my lips. I don't know whether, or when next I would be in the state of confessing all these.

"You, you are saying this now," her voice was a mere whisper, as she slowly grasped my curls and pulled me close, resting her forehead with mine.

 "You're confessing this now when you're just about to leave within a few moments. Leaving me in a myriad of emotions, Arjun?" she sniffled, as her nose brushed with mine. I gulped in, wrapping my arms around her waist, my heart feeling light and heavy at the same time as I closed my eyes, feeling her bliss for whatever time we had left.

"How am I supposed to deal with this, without you?" her voice sounded a bit miffed, I could feel her forehead wrinkling against mine as she drew in a deep breath. My fingers went up to caress her head, "I just now said Draupadi, I see myself in you, didn't I?"

"The-then how are you without me?" I gently wiped away her tears, cupping her jaws in my calloused palms.

"I don't understand you at times, Arjun." she gripped my upper garment, lowering herself over me.

"Not your mistake, I don't even understand myself." I pursed my lips to hide the chuckle that followed after sometime. She started to weep after sometime, her figure shivering as she did and again I couldn't do anything.

I began kissing her cheek softly, wiping away a tear that trickled down, "Yes, but I know that you are stuck with this demented individual for the rest of your life. Now you don't have a choice." I smiled a bit against her, as she gave a watery chuckle.

She's has become my habit and importance--

And love at the same time.

I have to say a lot, I want to do a lot, but I-I am only able to do the bare minimum. Sometimes I don't do it myself, and sometimes fate doesn't allow me to do it.

But she, she understands both me and fate. She does.

I brushed my lips against her forehead, pressing warm kisses on her temple and eyelids, trying my best to calm her down her weeping self. She again wrapped her arms around my neck and hid her head, pulling me close instinctively, "Please, please wait for sometime more. Pl-please." her voice had too much ache to hold, making it difficult to drift apart for the while. I couldn't help but to cloud my eyes with the same, "Please."

"Hm-hmm," I pulled her close to my bosom, caressing her vigorously with all my heart. The Sun would rise very soon, we had minimal little time left and we could do nothing else rather than holding on to each for that much time.

But I know that we would be each other emotionally, though not physically. Forever.

★★★★★★★★★

A/N

Guys  ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ.....

Don't know how the chapter turned out because all I could see was blur....It was difficult for me to reread it even.

itsmekruti Thanks yaar proofread karke dene ke liye 🥺👉👈.

Signing off for today~

Kiritija Nushkie