so apparently it's almost been a year since i last published something here?? wtf

anygay, i have this little thing about what it feels like (to me) when you're competely overstimulated and overwhelmed at a family dinner lol hope someone can relate or understand it better <3

"-i know, right, and then he-" "-can i have some more-" "-what do you mean by-" "-so georgia loves fishing, right? and now she-"
laughter. it pierces through your eardrums and right into your brain like a needle. makes you want to throw away the fork and cover your ears.
someone asks you a question. you respond almost automatically, maybe laugh or smile if needed.
there's a loud crash. the entire room shakes under it. you flinch, look up. your aunt's hand is still around the bottle she placed on the wooden table. nobody else noticed.
you try to keep yourself sane by little, unnoticed movements to distract you from it all. leg bouncing up and down under the table, finger running along the side of the phone case in your pocket.
the noise of forks and spoons meeting, scratching over the plate, frying pans being put back in their original position. people talking, all at the same time, sometimes louder, sometimes quieter, all telling a different story. how does everyone else just sit there so relaxed and fine?
"i'll be right back." you say, to keep yourself from yelling at everybody to shut the fuck up.
escape to the bathroom. you stay there for a while, calming yourself. but not for too long. you don't want anyone to notice, aren't in the mood for explaining yourself.

idk how to end this in a good way so here we goooo