ILLICIT BLUES.
09. ╱   Birthday Dinner Regrets

   LAUGHTER CARRIED THROUGHOUT THE ROOM, SMALL CHATS SCATTERED AROUND THEM. The sound of dishes clinking through throughout followed shortly, as they all dished theirselves up. It was Belly's birthday dinner, and Marigold was anything but happy. Of course, Marigold is going to put on an act for the girl, not wanting to break the good path they were on again

She tried to avoid looking at him. She tried to stare at her food or pay attention to the conversation she kept with the boys. But she couldn't help but glance every so often, watching as the boy and her laughed. Marigold wanted to be in Cam's seat, she wanted to be the one to make Belly laugh.

She wanted her all to myself, no matter how selfish that was.

But Cam was the boy Belly liked. Cam Cameron was the boy she wanted it. Marigold wished she was Cam. She allowed these thoughts to cloud her mind for the entire dinner, Marigold couldn't get it out her mind. She's not the one that Belly wants but Marigold wants to be.

   "So, Cam," Jeremiah started, the entirety of the table quieting down. "You mind if I call you Cam Cameron?"

   "Mm-hmm. Yeah, man. Feel free. That's funny," Cam declared, a smile curving onto his lips. He was so kind it made Marigold nauseous.

   "I'm glad you're here, Cameron," Susannah announced. The youngest Fisher played with the food on her plate nervously. "I know your mom, Denise, from the club. I've heard a lot about you."

   "Thank you so much for having me, Susannah," Cam thanked her. God, why was he so sweet? Shoot me, Marigold thought as retained her groan. "My mom says hi."

   "Cam, have you ever had Miyeok-Guk before? It's a Korean birthday tradition," Laurel said, passing a plate of the food to the younger boy.

   "No," he answered, grabbing the plate from her. "Looks so good. Thank you."

   "Belly told me you're vegetarian so I didn't put any meat in it," Laurel assured the boy who instantly thanked her.

   "Why don't you eat meat, Cam Cameron?" Jeremiah abruptly asked, tilting his head in wonder.

   "Uh, the meat industry is, like, the number one contributor to global warming," he explained, Jeremiah nodding thoughtfully. "And I just, I like animals."

Belly and Laurel smiled at the boy's words. Taylor leaned forward to look at him. "Just don't come for my leather jacket."

Steven scoffed out a chuckle, "I'm pretty sure you mean pleather," to which the girl flipped him off.

   "You know, uh, actually, Belly eats meat," Jeremiah said to the boy. Marigold tapped his foot, sending a confused glare but he only glanced at her before turning back to the boy. "So, you let her kiss you with those lips?"

   "Guys," Belly warned. Marigold felt like she was going to be sick. "Guys, stop."

Cam stopped his laughter to answer the boy. "No, I don't judge people for eating meat. It's just a personal choice. I don't care."

   "So you don't mind if her lips touch a dead animal, and then those dead animal lips touch your lips, right? . . . Ow!" He groaned as Belly kicked him in the shin underneath the table.

Cam laughed with a shrug. "I don't mind at all. Um, in fact . . ." then he kissed her. Marigold is feeling very nauseous, she wasn't going to be able to handle much more of this. Steven and Jere both pretended to throw up, gagging back at forth.

   "Alright. Belly's allowed to kiss," Laurel announced to the boys before turning to the girl with a pointed look. "But that's it," and then she laughed.

   "Excuse me," Marigold muttered, standing up from the table, leaving her napkin beside her plate. "I don't feel so well."

She ran up the stairs, skipping a couple steps, rushing into her bedroom and slamming it shut. Marigold leaned against the door, trying to control her breathing. She slowly sank to the floor, burying her head into her crossed arms. She breathed in and out, trying to sooth the nausea.

   Marigold couldn't deal with this shit anymore.

   She needed to leave, and that's exactly what she was going to do. She was going to Nicole's party. She quickly got on her shoes and snuck through the front door quietly, hoping for now one would hear my retreating footsteps. She knew they would figure out soon enough, but Marigold needed to be wasted by the time they did.

She walked herself over to the party. Once she walked in, she moved through a couple of rooms before finally finding Lila.

   "Mar? Aren't you still supposed to be at Belly's birthday dinner, I though you weren't coming until later?" Lila expressed her confusion once she saw Marigold walk in.

   "I need something to drink," Marigold admitted. Lila gave her a worried look.

   "Are you sure you're okay? I don't know if a drink is a
───" she tried to talk Marigold out of it but she was already making her way to the kitchen where she prayed there would be something strong.

Dodging the people before finally reaching the counter, Marigold filled her cup with whatever was the strongest, downing it quickly. She then filled it up again, drinking this portion slower than she did before.

   Lila tried to catch up with her but she was already walking away. She walked into the living room, finding a girl she knew from the club and making her way over. She instantly smiled at Marigold while she returned the favor. Marigold leaned down to whisper in her ear, which she nodded at immediately and allowed the girl to pull her upstairs.

   She found an empty bedroom, pulling her in and shutting the door behind us. She made her way to the bed where Marigold followed shortly behind, setting herself on her lap once she was settled.

The auburn haired girl leaned up, kissing Marigold softly. The girl wasn't thinking straight. She knew she shouldn't be doing this. Marigold's hand went up to the girl's hair, running her fingers through it. She slightly pressed down against the girl, earning a whimper in return. She moved down to place kisses along her jaw, slowly moving down to the auburn girl's neck.

Marigold barely knew this girl, only seeing her around every so often at big events. She didn't even know her name.

Marigold continued placing sloppy, drunken kisses against her neck, brushing away her dark brown hair. Brown? She thought to herself pulling away just a moment to see the Conklin girl. She shook her head before the door was pushed open, revealing the real Belly.

   And she did not look happy.

  "Marigold? What the hell is this?" Belly shouted, looking at the scene. Both of the their hair tousled in a mess with her still on top of her lap. Both of their lips slightly swollen and tinted red, traces of Marigold's lipstick on her neck.

"Taylor and now you! What the fuck are you doing?" Belly screamed, swinging her arms in confusion.

   "Isn't it obvious?" The auburn haired girl smirked, snaking her arm around Marigold's waist. She couldn't bring herself to move, she was frozen.

   "Isabel, get the fuck out!" Marigold shouted at her, she didn't want to be seen like this, she couldn't.

   Not by her.

Belly's face dropped. She then scoffed, and Marigold looked down at her lap, attempting to hide her own shame.

Marigold fucked up.

Marigold's mind was running hazy and her thoughts were all mumbled. She couldn't think straight. The girl had left, leaving her alone with a fuming Isabel.

   The girl lied down on her back, her legs hanging off the bed, and my arms covering my eyes. Belly stood silently beside the door, just staring at me who was obviously wasted. She scoffed and I raised my head to look at her.

"How drunk are you?" Isabel asked in question, crossing her arms and quirking her brow.

"What?" Marigold's words were slurred. She propped herself up onto her elbows to look more clearly at the girl.

   "How wasted are you?" She asked again, yet her tone was more harsh. Marigold winced at the sound.

"I───I don't know," Marigold muttered, dropping her head in embarrassment.

   "How did you get here?" Isabel asked, taking a deep breath as she tried to calm herself down.

   "I . . . walked," Marigold's brows creased as she attempted to remember anything before the girl started yelling at her.

   "Jesus Christ," Belly muttered, shaking her head while another scoff slipped out of her lips. "Come on. I'm taking you home."

"What? What do you mean?" Marigold questioned in confusion as the girl grabbed her wrist, dragging her out the door of the unknown bedroom.

   "I'm not letting you walk home while you're completely wasted, especially at night, even if I'm pissed at you," she declared as she pulled Marigold down the stairs towards the front door. The girl let the slight smile make its way to her lips, feeling a tingle of warmth in her heart at the girl's words.

   They finally got to the car, and Isabel practically pushed Marigold into the passenger's seat. The girl squirmed to make herself comfortably while Isabel made her way to the driver's seat.

"Should you be driving?" Marigold questioned, knowing how the girl tends to drive.

   "It's better than you driving," Isabel quips quickly while starting the car, avoiding any eye contact with the girl.

The car was silent. There was an awkward silence between them, filled with a tension that made the hair stand up on the backside of Marigold's neck.

   "How could you do this?" Isabel questioned, finally masking the silence. "Especially on my birthday. What were you thinking? I mean, you ditch my dinner to go make out with some random girl. What has gotten into you, Marigold? This isn't you!"

   Marigold let her last statement sink in. She had just outed herself in a moment of vulnerability and she hadn't even realized.

   Belly knows.

   Marigold wanted to drown her in a string of apologies but right now, she wasn't in control. "What? Opposed to your little boyfriend making out with you while we're all eating dinner?"

   Isabel scoffed, stopping the car as the two of them pulled up to the house. She got out without another word and stormed into the house while Marigold followed slowly behind her.

   "What, nothing to say after that?" Marigold asked as she entered the kitchen where the girl leaned against the counter.

   "Oh, my God, you are so arrogant and full of yourself. You think this isn't affecting anyone else?" Isabel spit out, turning to face the girl as she moved to sit on the table.

   "You think the whole world revolves around you, Isabel. You think you're the star of the show. Well, it doesn't and you aren't. You're just one whiny girl who can't get her shit straight," Marigold shouted and the tears burst from the Conklin girl immediately.

   No.

   No.

   Why was she crying? Marigold didn't mean for her to cry. Fuck, she was too harsh.

"Bels . . . I───" Marigold stuttered out but she didn't know what to say, not after that.

"Go fuck yourself!" Belly shouted through her cries, her voice breaking before she ran up to her room.

   Marigold woke up with a loud ringing in her ears and a pounding headache. Memories of the night before came instantly and she found herself groaning in regret. She hated that she made Belly cry, she hated that she outed herself in such a terrible way and she hated that she was in a lot of pain.

   She hurried to get ready then made her way downstairs where she found Jeremiah with a hangover drink ready for her. Marigold thanked him instantly and began to drink it, taking her place at the island counter.

   "Morning," a soft mutter brought Marigold away from her thoughts, looking up to see the Conklin girl. Jeremiah greeted her as she sat down across from them.

   "Hmm. Want one?" He hummed out as he licked the peanut butter off a spoon. She didn't answer, only bringing a cereal box up to her lips and getting a mouthful.

   "Okay," the boy slight laughed. "I take it you and Tay-Tay haven't made up yet?"

   She paused, glancing over toward Marigold, before looking back to the boy. "Nope. We haven't talked since last night."

   "Hmm. Here," Jeremiah pushed an empty bowl and quart of milk towards the girl. Marigold sat there silently, chewing on her straw while drinking my smoothie.

  "Well, when does she leave?" He asked, taking a sip from his green smoothie.

   "Uh, in a couple hours," Belly responded, her words slurred by the cereal in her mouth. "She's upstairs packing now."

   "Hey, do you want to go on a muffin run?" Belly offered, not sparing Marigold another glance. "I───I have to get out of the house."

   "I'm always down for a muffin run," Jeremiah offered a smile to the girl. "Uh, I'm gonna make a to-go cup." He explained as he grabbed his leftover smoothie.

   Jeremiah then turned toward Marigold who was beside him. "You coming with us?"

   "No, I have some things I need to catch up on," Marigold muttered, looking down at the table where her fingers tangled with each other.

   "Okay then, looks like it's just you and me, Bells," Jeremiah grinned her way. "Oh, do you mind grabbing the keys from Conrad's room?"

   Marigold reached over the counter, placing her dishes in the empty sink before making her way back to her room. She couldn't stand being in a room with people right now, she felt like she couldn't breathe.

   But on that note, she found herself walking toward Conrad's room, in hopes to find the girl. To her luck, she was scouring through his drawers.

   "Hey, Bells," Marigold muttered, catching the girl's attention who turned around to face her. "Do you have time to talk?"

   "I really have to go, Jere's waiting for me," she excused herself but Marigold wasn't giving up so easily.

   "Please, Belly. We need to talk about what happened last night. What we said . . . What I said───" Marigold began but the girl was brushing past her.

   Marigold stayed silent, not even turning to watch the girl leave, knowing it would hurt her too much.

  "Just give her time," a voice from behind Marigold suggested. She turned to see Taylor leaning against the wall. "I heard you fight last night."

   "Yeah, I don't know if she will───not this time." she muttered, shaking her head as she let out a bitter chuckle,

   "Even if you were a complete bitch, which you kind of were, Belly would always forgive you. She couldn't stand a life without you, trust me. You're on her mind all year in between summers," Taylor declares, smiling slightly to make light of the situation.

   Marigold stayed silent, thinking of what Taylor had just said.

   "And I heard about what happened. The source of the fight, I guess," Taylor said and she waited for her next thing. "She knows now, right? Not about your feelings but of your feelings."

   "Uh, yeah. She hasn't really mentioned them yet, though," Marigold mumbled in disappointment

   "You don't have to be scared, because I know you are. Once she's ready, she'll talk. Hear her out, and make her hear you out," She laughs softly. "Everything will be fine, okay?"

               "Thank you, Taylor," Marigold smiled at the girl. "And same for you. You guys will be okay. Belly was telling Jeremiah about it this morning."

   "Yeah . . ." Taylor awkwardly rocked on the heels of her feet.

   "You guys are best friends. You'll last forever, don't give up on her," Marigold said and Taylor nodded with a smile. She grabbed her bags off the floor before saying goodbye to the girl.

   Leaving Marigold to hope everything would be okay.

↳ ˗ˏˋ NOTES ˊˎ˗ ↴

ninth chapter! omg! what're your
thoughts?
a lotta stuff happened with our dramatic
girls but things will get better ( at some point )

i hope you liked it! thank you
for reading,
love you all so much! 🫶