ILLICIT BLUES.
04. ╱   Drunken Fights, Drunken Lies

   Betrayal is a dramatic word, but good for us, Marigold is very dramatic.

   A swirling mess of emotions was clouding her mind. Her heart churned with a blend of sadness, anger, and a sense of envy as she gazed upon the boy seated beside Belly. The sight of their laughter, their smiles, and the subtle graze of their shoulders made her heart crumble in on itself, threatening to consume her.

   With each chuckle that escaped their lips, her heart shattered a little more. Their laughs echoed from the spot many feet away and she couldn't help the growing jealousy. She looked so beautiful laughing. She's laughing with him. How could she sit there, and laugh, and look so beautiful?

   Marigold's teeth, clenched with an almost agonizing force, grind against each other. The sudden realization hit her as she looked at the two more and more. She wasn't angry. She was sad, disappointed even. How could she let herself fall for a girl that she would never be able to have?

   "If looks could kill, that boy's head would be blown off," Lila jolted her back to reality. Marigold suddenly became aware of the vice-like grip she had on her own hands, her fingers tightly intertwined in an attempt to contain her own sadness. As Lila's words hung in the air, she slowly unclenched her jaw, releasing the tension that left an ache.

   With a feigned nonchalance, Marigold tried to brush off her inner jealousy, mustering a dismissive shrug.

   "She can be with whoever she wants. It doesn't matter. she isn't mine, or anything," the girl muttered through gritted teeth, her voice laced with a hint of bitterness. Yet, despite her attempts to mask her feelings, the words carried the weight of a fragile facade, revealing the cracks in her voice.

   Lila's sharp intuition, however, refused to be tricked. Sensing the truth that lay beneath the Fisher's words, she paused and reached out, gently clasping Marigold's wrist. The swift movement exposed a bloodied palm. The crescent-shaped imprints of Marigold's own nails imprinted into her skin.

   She almost gasped at the sight.

   "This says something else," Lila whispered, her voice filled with a mixture of concern and compassion. Her words hung in the air, Marigold hadn't even noticed the harshness of her grip. She attempted to deny the significance of her self-inflicted wounds.

   "It's nothing, Lila───seriously," she assured, her voice barely above a whisper. Marigold nodded softly, trying to show a sense of reassurance.

"You can't keep letting this happen, it hurts to see you like this," Lila explained but Marigold only stayed silent. "You have to tell her, and whether it happens she's madly in love with you or she doesn't see you that way───you'll know. You can move on from this self loathing mindset, and allow yourself, and Belly, to be happy."

She nodded, agreeing to the strong words spoken from her best friend. However, the silence that captured them in that moment was broken by the eruption of heated shouts and chaos across the flames from them.

"What's your problem, man?" The familiar voice led Marigold's attention over to the scene.

"It's one beer. It's a party, relax," the person replied. She began noticing a group surrounding her brother.

"No, give me my beer back. I paid for this," her older brother argues and she cursed at the scene they were making.

"Stop, stop! You're drunk. Just give him the beer," Nicole interrupted the two, trying to step in between them but it seemed they weren't willingly to listen.

"Maybe you should listen to your lady," he offered. Lila and Marigold shared a concerned expression before jumping up to get a better look.

"No, I'm fine. I'm fine," he disregarded and waved her away.

"Give me the beer back," Conrad demands of the boy who shakes his head, letting a scoff fly from his lips.

"He's fine. He's a real big man," the boy says to Nicole, who continued to drag Marigold's brother away.

"Fuck you, bro," Conrad snapped, shaking his head at the boy.

"This isn't going to go well," Lila winced from beside Marigold, not being able to take their eyes away from the scene.

"You're not taking my fucking beer, dude," Conrad hollered. Then they were pushing each other, both hands gripping at the shirts as they pushed each other back and forth.

"You guys, guys!" Belly began to run closer to them and Marigold felt her heart sink in her stomach as the elbow of the boy made contact with her eye.

"Belly," Conrad went to walk toward her but he was pushed back.

"Bels!" Marigold shouted, going to rush over to the girl but Lila grabbed her wrist, motioning to the previous boy making sure Belly was okay. She suddenly lost every drop of jealousy, just wanting to make sure she would be okay, which the boy seemed to be doing a good job of. That was truly all she cared about in the moment.

"Break it up, come on!" Jeremiah demanded, pushing the boys apart just as the sound of sirens filled their ears.

"Get out of here!" People shouted as the cops pulled up in the sand, people rushing around to escape them.

"Marigold, I've gotta find Maxwell!" Lila explained and Marigold quickly nodded in understanding, watching the girl run off.

A few minutes after the chaos had began to slightly lessen, they had meet by the jeep of Jeremiah. Conrad lied in the backseat, head sitting in Marigold's lap, where she loosely ran her fingers through his hair, watching as his droopy eyes attempt to stay open. Jeremiah sat in the driver's seat as the both of them watched the Conklin girl talk with that boy just outside the jeep.

"Belly, let's go. Get in," Jeremiah said, hunched down to look out the side window of the car at the girl.

"Cam can give me a ride. Right, Cam?" She pointed to the boy who quickly nodded and agreed.

"No, you're not gonna get in a car with a guy you just met," Jeremiah almost scoffed at the situation.

"I'm Cam. Cameron," the boy offered his hand to Jere, who laughed in return.

   "Your name is Cam Cameron?" He asked, a taunting smile taking his lips. Marigold felt a smile curve up for just a moment.

"No... it's just───just Cam," he awkwardly retreated his hand back to himself, a nervous smile painted on his lips. "But we actually, we know each other."

"Seventh grade. Latin convention. So, like, we're not total strangers," the boy shrugged, and no matter how much Marigold didn't want to, she held back an eye roll.

"Okay. No offense, but no. Belly, get in the car," Jeremiah chuckled at the boy.

"Bels, please just get in the car," Marigold pleaded, and flinched as she felt the boy in her lap sit up a little bit.

   "Just get in the car," he demanded before lying back into her lap.

Marigold blocked out their whispers and laughs, looking away from the two. It hurt too much to watch. They laughed and laughed, before they went quiet, and she turned toward them once again. And right when she thought it couldn't get any worse, Belly leaned in and kissed him.

She kissed him.

   Marigold felt her heart burn.

Everything felt blurred as Jeremiah began to drive off. Marigold's mind was clouded and she had to remind myself to breathe. She was brought back to reality when Jeremiah slammed on the break abruptly, making them fly forward, luckily wearing seatbelts.

"Fuck! Steven! Conrad, come with me," Jeremiah demanded, and before the boy could even argue, Jeremiah was pulling him from the car.

Belly was grinning in the front seat, cheeks scrunched, and teeth showing.

"You like him, don't you, Bels?" Marigold asked, watching as the girl turned to her, moonlight shining down on her. God, she is so beautiful.

"Yeah," she giggles slightly. "I think I do."

   "That's nice," Marigold forces a smile onto her lips.

   Belly was happy, that was all that mattered. She reached out, tucking the hair behind the girl's ear. Belly slightly flushed against the brush of the her fingertips. Her breath caught, not understanding the feeling that arose from the contact. The girl's fingers brushed against Belly's cheek bone, so softly she almost didn't feel it, but she was glad she did.

   "Goldie," Belly whispered.

And that was all she needed. A sign that they would be okay.

"Have you kids been drinking?" The knocks of the officer brought their attention away from one another.

Shit.

   "Officers, thank you," Laurel spoke to the two Officers. All of the kids stood or sat behind her, guilt-ridden looks, not talking or looking at one another. The only contact of them was from Marigold, brushing her fingers against Belly's until they interlocked. She couldn't believe this happened, she could tell Laurel was going to be pissed the second she turned around. "It won't happen again, I can promise you that much."

   "Tell Mr. Fisher the chief wants to set up a tee time when he gets back in town," the officer said and Marigold had to contain a roll of her eyes.

   "Absolutely," Laurel offered them a small smile. "Sorry again for all the trouble. Have a good night, Officers."

   And once they were gone, she turned to the kids with a very disappointed and frustrated expression. "How could you guys be so irresponsible?"

   "Mom, it wasn't a big deal. Alright? Seriously, the cops were just looking to break up the bonfire," Steven stepped forward.

   "Not a big deal? I would say getting picked up by the cops for underage drinking is a pretty big deal, Steven," Laurel said, Belly and Marigold share a glance before looking back to the older woman.

   Steven sniffed before scoffing. "Were───were you guys . . . you guys were smoking tonight?"

"What? Keep your voice down, Susannah's asleep on the couch," Laurel snapped, raising her voice.

   "I───I wasn't yelling. Well, you───you were," the boy stuttered out.

   "Just so you know, Laurel, I didn't drink tonight. I was the DD, I swear," Jere tried to assure but it honestly looked like Laurel couldn't care less.

   "You're the oldest. What the hell's gotten into you?" She asked Conrad before looking up to Belly. "And when did you leave the house without telling anybody? And what in the world are you wearing?"

   "It's Taylor's." She shifted, tugging the Cam guy's jacket closed to her. "And why am I the only one who's not allowed to go out?"

   "It's not that you're not allowed. It's that you should've told us that you were going," the woman explained. "How did you even get there?"

   "I walked," she replied and Marigold's head instantly shot up. She walked alone at this time of night, she could've gotten hurt or killed. Marigold inwardly sighed.

   "Jesus. You know better than to walk that far down the beach alone late at night," Laurel explained, shaking her head. Marigold couldn't help but agree with her.

"Can you stop treating me like I'm a kid?" The girl shouted.

   "If you want to be treated like an adult, you need to act like one," Laurel said, making Belly cower back into Marigold. She brought her hands to her waist, circling her thumb against her in a comforting and reassuring manner.

   "Then maybe you guys should too," Conrad inquired, looking up at the older woman from the little bench he sat on.

   She stared at him for a moment. "What does that mean?"

   The boy said nothing.

   "I hope you realize this night could've ended a lot differently, if you're family wasn't your family," she said, turning her attention to Marigold and her siblings.

    "We're sorry, Laur," Jeremiah softly admitted.

   "Just . . . Go to bed, guys," Laurel rubbed her face tiredly.

   Marigold made her way upstairs along with the rest of the group, changing and getting ready for bed with guilt settling in her stomach. Just a few hours later, a knock sounded through her room.

Her eyes fluttered open at the sound of a soft knock. Her sheets ruffled as she turned her head toward the door, seeing Belly standing in the doorway. She walked slowly toward the bed, lifting up the sheet, and crawling in beside Marigold where she turned so she faced her.

"Oh, Belly. You're gonna have a nasty black eye tomorrow," Marigold brushed her fingers softly over the bruise that was forming, not wanting to hurt the Conklin girl.

"Yeah, I know," the girl slightly laughed and Marigold felt a smile raising to her lips. "It was kind of . . . fun, though."

"Fun?" Amusement spreads through her. Of course Belly would find getting punched in the face fun.

"Well, obviously not the getting punched in the face thing but just the adrenaline of it all, I guess, if you know what I mean," Belly explains and Marigold nodded along quietly, listening to her every word.

"Yeah, I understand," Belly smiled at her.

"I'm sorry for leaving you," Marigold hesitantly added, never wanting the girl to be mad at her ever again.

But the girl quickly shushed her. "Let's not talk about that right now, please, just hold me."

Marigold almost melted as the girl wrapped her arms around her waist, laying her head in the crook of her neck. She ran her fingers through her hair, slightly humming until she heard soft snores. Marigold sighed at the warm breath that hit her neck, instantly calming her nerves. She smiled down at the girl, her face completely relaxed.

And with that, Marigold Fisher fell asleep with Isabel Conklin in her arms.