zee morgenstern

I stared at the bright light shining on me from the ceiling of my cell. My wrists were clamped on the arms of the chair I was restrained to. My wrists were sore, along with my body. I was thirsty and I desperately needed a shower. I smelt like sweat, blood and dirt. I could feel the dry blood on my face and stained all over my clothes. I was dying for a long shower and to scrub away any trace of those men on me. I was tired of sitting in a cell all day.

Father said the main goal was to get in and form relationships. Get them to trust me. Make them believe I was rebelling against everything I've ever known for the greater good.

I had perfected my plan; swoop in, save their lives and they'd take me in as a person of suspicion. They would interrogate me but they wouldn't throw me in a cell. I would find Jace Wayland and have him vouch for me. They'd see that I had saved their lives and give me a place to stay here. After a while of helping them out and pretending to be their friend all while secretly deceiving them would get me on their good side.

I had thought about every aspect. Every man I killed to "save their lives" was expendable. They had either disrespected my parents or crossed my father the wrong way. He had carefully picked who would go on that team to go retrieve Clary Fray. Their days were numbered the moment they were put on the team.

I told Father multiple times they would be skeptical if they knew my name. But he said the entire part of the job was for them to believe that a Morgenstern turned on her own family. I was fully prepared to use my mother's maiden name and go completely undercover. But, of course he had to make this job harder for me.

And not only him. My jaw clenched at the thought. The tall one of the group went on and on about how I was not to be trusted. He was the reason why they threw me into this cell. Was he wrong? Not exactly. But, would I have preferred not to be thrown in a cell, restrained so tightly to a chair that I could feel every pull in my muscles? Most definitely.

My blood boiled. I'd give anything to be face to face with him. I longed to smash my face into his jaw again and again until he couldn't speak.

Maybe that was a little excessive.

It's fine. I would have plenty of time to beat him senseless after I've gotten what I came for.

The door of my cell opened for the first time since I've been here. The four Shadowhunters from before entered the room, minus the mundane.

I took a glance at them. "You know, typically during a interrogation— there's not usually this many people."

"Shut up." The tall one stopped before me, crossing his arms over his chest. He towered over me even more than he did outside because of how I was restrained and sitting.

"Well— that's no way to treat a guest, now is it?" The corner of my mouth quirked up, staring at him from under the eyelashes.

"You're no guest." He narrowed his eyes down at me. His muscles were tense and rigid, his body completely still. "If you were, you wouldn't be locked up."

"You're right." I pondered, leaning my head back against the seat but maintaining eye contact with him. "I could use a better room. And a shower. Maybe some fresh clothes— your hospitality is oh so kind-"

This time he smiled down at me out of mockery. "Only the best for delinquents."

I shot him a fake smile in return before looking between them all. "Who the hell are you?"

"Jace Wayland." The blond Shadowhunter beside him introduced himself. The gleam in his eyes showed me he recognized me. It had been years but when he laid eyes on me after I slaughtered the entire team of Circle Members, I knew I didn't even need to introduce myself for him to know me. I knew he would believe me. "Do you remember me?"

Jackpot.

I let a wave of recognition hit my face when I looked at Jace just so he knew I remembered him. Not enough to let on that it was crucial he defended me so that I wouldn't disappoint my parents, but— enough. I stayed silent.

"Isabelle Lightwood." The woman who stood by Clary introduced herself next, then gestured to the tall one who was causing all my problems. "Alec Lightwood."

I clicked my tongue, my eyes locking on Alec's icy glare again. "And to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"It's been years." Jace took a step closer to me. His expression was guarded but I could see in his eyes that he was still the soft, sweet boy I was best friends with when we were younger. I could still recall perfectly the last time we saw each other. After his father had died. I remember holding him and trying to comfort him best I could. "What are you doing here?"

I stared at him for a few moments. Friendship didn't matter now— only my mission. "Why are you guys questioning me? Shouldn't it be someone more highly authoritative?"

"I figured you would be more open with an old friend." Jace scanned my face a few times.

"An old friend that moved away without saying goodbye?" I blinked, tilting my head slightly to the side. "Eleven years is a long time."

Jace swallowed hard and there was a small crack in his shield. "I'm sorry-"

"Valentine is alive and actively seeking the Cup— the Circle lives." I cut him off, keeping my expression serious. My gaze felt onto Clary for a moment. "Valentine is after you because he thinks you have the Cup for some unfathomable reason. I've come here to help even out the odds."

"But— why does he think that?" Clary spoke for the first time since she's been in here. Her words were filled with fear and shock, heaving out her sentence completely exasperated. She ran her hands through her red hair, her eyes watery and filled with panic. "Why does anyone think that? Just because I'm his daughter, does not mean-"

"What?" I cut her off abruptly. My blood had run cold and for a second my mind went blank, forgetting all about my mission.

There's no way that was true. There's no way— he couldn't have had another child. I was raised an only child. It was only always me. I'd never had siblings my entire life.

And my parents never divorced. They were devoted to each other and to their dream. Clary looked nothing like me. Or my mother.

"That brings us to our next question." Alec's voice sounded the air. "Did you know that Clary was your sister?"

"Okay, what kind of joke is this?" I scoffed lightly. "We're not related. I'm an only child."

"Well, I guess I'm not the only one who's been lied to their whole life." Clary looked at me. "We just got back from the City of Bones— I was trying to get my memories back. I only saw one— my mother said I was his daughter. Which would mean-"

"No." The shock and disgust in my face wasn't part of the act. Not only was— it, my sister but this would mean that my father had been unfaithful to my mother. Their perfect union— wasn't perfect.

I should've been more suspicious when my father ordered me to retrieve Jocelyn Fray. I didn't question him— I just carried out the order like the solider I was. I knew better than to question him— or to be disobedient.

Isabelle was leaning against the glass, her arms crossed over her chest. "I take it from the look on her face— she clearly didn't know."

"And I take it your little visit to the City of Bones prompted you to come visit me?" My teeth gritted as I forced myself back to composure. "Why the hell am I locked up anyways?"

"Why're you locked up?" Alec stared at me amusingly as he crouched down in front of me to meet my eye level. "You're a criminal."

"A criminal?" I glowered down at him. "Do you have any valid reasoning or is that you just being prejudice because of my name?"

Alec grimaced. "You just murdered six people."

"To save your life!" I shouted in his face, a glare fixed on my expression. "You were all screwed. Those were my father's best men— a panicked person is a dead person and you all would have been dead had I not jumped in and saved your lives."

"If you had not killed those men, we would have been able to apprehend one of them and question them to find out Valentine's whereabouts." Alec raised his voice right back at me. "We could've broken one of those men down to tell us everything but you are a lost cause."

I pulled at my restraints aggressively, wanting so badly to slam my fist into his jaw. "You have a very funny way of saying thank you, Alec Lightwood."

Within seconds, a sharp blade was pressing against the skin of my neck. Alec held the blade and it was then I realized he had his hand over the handle the entire time he was crouched in front of me; prepared for when I would try to fight my restraints and be a pain. "You're not very helpful now, are you?"

I pressed my neck further into his blade without the sharp curve actually cutting me just so I could get closer to his face. "You ungrateful, ignorant little-"

"Enough, Alec." Jace put his hand on Alec's shoulder, pulling him back into a standing position. Without protest, Alec moved back to where he was standing before and didn't say another word. "You're right. You did save our lives— which is why we're going to give you a chance."

I let a relaxed expression rush over my face, hiding the triumph I truthfully felt in my chest. Jace would be easy to manipulate— he would defend me and make my mission much easier because he clearly desperately wanted to rekindle our friendship.

This would be light work.

As long as Alec Lightwood did not get in my way.

-

By the end of the night, Jace had made sure I got the best hospitality he could conjure in such short notice. He acquired me a room, guided me to where the showers were and brought me a change of clothes for when I was out of the long shower. They were his, I realized, after I had to tie the drawstrings of the sweatpants to fit around my waist and readjust the t-shirt that fit me like a dress.

Isabelle promised me that we would go shopping together for clothes soon when I cringed at how many dresses and sparkly clothes she had in her closet. They would look stunning on her, but they were not my thing. I grimace slightly to myself at the thought as I walked towards my room, at how welcoming she was right off the back.

Regardless, she was better than her brother. Anger sparked in my chest at the thought of him. I would have happily disposed of a problem in my way but that would draw too much suspicion to me.

I pushed the thought far back into my mind and skimmed my room. It was plain and empty, but nice. I didn't care much about interior design— I wouldn't be staying here long term.

I shut the door behind me and locked it. I shut all the windows and locked those as well, before heading to a corner in the empty room, the farthest away from the door and windows so that no one would hear me— and if they did, they would only hear a muffled sound.

I slipped the Seelie ring on my finger. My mother appeared in front of me, her expression cold and her body stiff and full of authority. "Are you in?"

"Yes, mother." My voice was quiet.

"Did they buy your story?" She asked.

"Yes, mother." I repeated.

"Good." She inhaled sharply. "Hopefully, you will do some good work here. Your work capturing Jocelyn was sloppy. It would've been ideal for her to be conscious when you brought her back."

"She took the potion before I could knock it out of her hand." I excused lamely, pursing my lips. "I'll figure out how to wake her if we don't obtain the Mortal Cup by then."

She nodded stiffly. "Yes you will."

"Did you, uhm-" I swallowed hard and looked up to meet her eyes for the first time. "Did you know that her daughter was my sister?"

"What?" She looked at me incredulously, rage striking in her expression and I quickly realized I had said the wrong thing. But, it was too late now.

"She went to the City of Bones." I hesitantly continued. "They retrieved a part of her memory. Jocelyn was talking about her father being—"

"Enough." She snapped at me and my mouth snapped shut for just a moment. "You don't know what you're-"

"Mother, please-" I pressed my palms together, desperately trying to get her to see I wasn't lying. "I swear to the Angel I'm telling the truth. I wouldn't purposefully try to get between you two. It makes sense, doesn't it? He asked for Jocelyn out on a whim— with no valid reason, and he wants her daughter next? I think he had an affair-"

But the rest of my words died in my throat. I collapsed to the ground at the striking pain burning on every limp, every muscle, every part of my body. My jaw clenched tightly and I grunted through my pursed lips, having to wither in pain in complete silence because if I screamed, someone would rush to my room and my cover would be blown. She had raised her voice at me and her rage was clear. "Enough!"

"It is not your place to meddle in things that do not concern you." My mother said through gritted teeth. "Focus on your mission. Do not disappoint us again."

With that, she severed the connection between the two rings and disappeared. Moments later, the pain disappeared with her and her personal rune on the base of my neck stopped glowing.

I stared at the ceiling, breathing heavily and shaking from the pain I had just experienced. With the amount of times it happens, I thought I could build endurance for it. But, the pain always felt fresh and stronger every time she activated the connected rune.

Her words burned in my mind. Repeating over and over and over again on an endless loop.

Do not disappoint us again.

authors note:

i've been reading way too much enemies to lovers. so, this alec lightwood is the result of that and i'm deeply sorry

this chapter is a MESS, i am sorry about that too

BUT, here are some explanations just in case anyone is confused and because i'm a shit writer who doesn't know how to incorporate it into the story to give that shock factor:

- jace and zee knew each other when they were younger and lived in idris. they were best friends and each other's only friends until jace's "father" died. jace abruptly left and was sent to new york without saying goodbye and that severed their relationship— so, zee was aiming to find jace to make her plan more effective.

- valentine and zee's mother, margaret, are married and loyal leaders of the circle. they have many problems in their relationship but push them aside to lead the circle because they believe they are "cleansing" the shadowhunter world and their dream is much more important than their issues. they met at a very young age where margaret would willingly let valentine experiment on her. she can create her own runes so she created a pain and harm inflicting rune especially for zee connected between them so that they could discipline and train her. they treat zee more like a solider than their daughter.

- jocelyn and margaret were best friends when they were younger. they were both part of the circle. a few years in the future, valentine did have an affair with jocelyn while he was with margaret during one of those lapses where they were having issues. when jocelyn found out she was pregnant with clary, they kept it under wraps from margaret because she had already given birth to two of valentine's children. when jocelyn found out what kind of person valentine actually was, she fled.

now that you know the background, on with the story !! from now on, i won't be addressing whose point of view the chapter is in because every chapter will be in zee morgenstern's point of view. if i decide to switch point of view's, i'll title it like i have these last two

anyways—

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