***Flashback***

"Shama at least tell me something! You were fine when you went back from here but..." That day After arguing with Abbas I went to Richa's place and she asked me about my problem because I was only crying without telling her anything.

"Richa..." I lift my gaze and she sat down beside me.

"Hmm Shama"

"I'm living with you since three years, have you ever noticed me going closer to any guy?" I asked in between my hiccups and she shook her head, but she was looking confused.

"H.. He said that..." I cried without completing the sentence.

"What did he said" Richa asked and I close my eyes while hiding my face in my hand.

"He said that I was pregnant with Zamil's child that's why I abort that" I told her what was in my heart. I was telling her everything but I didn't know that Zamil and Vihaan were already present in next room and listening everything.

"What will you do now?" Richa asked and I wiped my tears.

"Richa I can't live with him, if he is doubting on my character for once then he can doubt on me in upcoming time too.... I can't beg in front of him to make him believe on my pietism." I shared and Richa nodded but a voice made me startled.

"Even you shouldn't beg in front of that man to prove yourself correct" That was Zamil who came out from the room and I was shocked to saw him at that time. I felt embarrassed in front of him.

"Shama I'm with you in every situation!" Zamil told me after holding my both hands in his firm hands. I was feeling goosebumps appearing on my whole frame with his touch.

"Zamil please..." I jerk his hands away from mine and he was looking shocked.

"Shama first of all you stop crying and listen to me carefully. You don't have to think about anything just focus on your future. You can divorce that man and I'm ready to marry you" Zamil said and I shook my head.

"What do you want Zamil?
I don't wanna prove him correct by doing all these things" I said with anger, I wasn't a puppet that I went away from one hand and come to someone else's hands.

"Neither I want you nor Abbas nor any other man.... I have already done with all these relationships" I added and Zamil left from there.

==============

For few months I avoided Abbas as well as Zamil. I asked Abbas to stay away from me but he was coming to Richa's home every now and then, he was doubting on me but still trying to took me back with himself. After few months I demanded for divorce because I was frustrated with his continous chasing but he refused. I wanted to get rid of him in every possible way. In the end without leaving any way I accepted what Zamil told me long back.

I filed a case against Abbas that I was a minor at the time of marriage and then I wanted to terminate that Marriage but he wasn't letting me go! That case indirectly came under POCSO act, which send Abbas behind the bars. I never wanted to do so but...

He stayed behind the bars for almost six months, then one day I went to meet him and told him to get agree for divorce. Abbas got agree and I withdraw that case. He went back to his village and never come back, I was living with Richa, and for my livelihood I started assisting some advocate as well as I started working as a typist. Zamil was still after me, but I didn't want to marry him.

Its not like that I didn't had any feelings for him in my heart, but I didn't want to prove Abbas correct. On the other hand Zamil didn't let me go.... He was always at my back, whenever I needed help he was always by my side without even asking, I don't know how he understood me everytime? But for four years I didn't accept his proposal. I passed BA LLB as so Richa and Vihaan. They both decided to got married and I was left alone. In those four years I forgot all day and night just focused on my studies which resulted great for me.

I was one of the best matrimonial and family cases lawyer of my city, that was UNEXPECTED for me! But my life was alone, whenever I felt need to talk to anyone there weren't anyone other than blank walls. Richa and Vihaan forced me to get married to Zamil and after a long debate I got ready.
We got married in the simplest way possible. For whole one year we're so happy with each other but then the shine of love was lost from our relationship and that was covered by jealousy!

In law career Zamil wasn't as famous as me because he was handling his father's business too, on the other hand I was only focusing on my law career. But unfortunately that was difficult for him to digest that his wife was two step ahead from him. Whenever I got any new case or success in my older ones he mostly started arguing with me without any specific reason, that was difficult for me to understand that type of behaviour but later on I understood his jealousy when he said that after starting family I should leave my profession.

-HONK-

-HONK-

I was shocked because a truck was coming from opposite side and my car was going to hit that, but on right time I turned to left side. I was so lost in my past that forgot about my present!

"What I'm doing?" I scolded myself and focused on road. Soon I reached home where I found Vihaan and Richa running from one corner of home to other because the gang of devils was lifting whole home on their head.

"I locked the car after coming out from that and laughed on the condition of that couple.

"Mumma is back" I said loudly and kneeled down on the green and fresh grass of lawn while opening my arms.

"I was missing you mummy" Falak my youngest daughter came towards me while running very fast and I embraced the reason of my life.

"Mummy was also missing you princess" Kissing her cheek I replied and embraced her one more time.

" Beta Where is Mehek?" I asked about my second daughter and Falak pointed towards the corner of lawn where Mehek was playing with Vaibhav.

Vaibhav was two years old son of Richa and Vihaan, his cuteness could attract anyone so I can't blame my daughters to love him so much.

"Shama... These two are mothers of Devils" Richa said about My daughters Falak and Mehek and I just giggled and kissed their cheeks one more time.

"They both resembles you" I said to Richa playfully and I pinched Vaibhav's cheeks.

"Shama.. Now on a serious note, Tell me what happened" Richa asked and I sighed before informing her everything in brief which made her sad but I smiled and shrugged those thoughts away from my mind.

"Hey don't be sad, and Thank for devil sitting" I said and Richa laughed while lifting her son in her arms.

"Except my khushi they all are devils" I said about my two daughters and Vaibhav on which Richa nodded.

"I'm going now." Richa said but I shook my head.

"Go after having dinner with us" I said but Vihaan came forward and wrapped his arms around Richa's waist.

"Now you handle Vaibhav and let both of us spend some time together" Saying that he handle me his son and I smiled on his possessive way. But Richa took Vaibhav in her arms again and glare Vihaan

"Today we three will spend time together" Richa scolded her husband who rolled his eyes and I giggled, Vihaan, wasn't changed in those seven years. Richa was also same but there was a problem, they both fight with each other more than they love each other.

They two along with their cutie pie left from my home and I waved my hand to see off both of them then turned towards both of my daughters.

"Mehek, Falak... I told you not to trouble Richa aunty" I glare both of them and they made a cute pout, I glare them one time and they both prefer to run away from there, I also didn't scolded them much and moved towards kitchen to prepare dinner for four of us.

Four mean...

Me, and my three daughters. Khushi, Mehek and Falak.

===============

I open the door of khushi's room and a gentle smile covered my face because she was sleeping peacefully without realising that the open book was covering her face. I went towards her bed and kissed her forehead after placing her book on her study table. "My princess" I kissed her cheek one more time and switched off the lights.

Falak and Mehek were already sleeping in there room, they both share same room. I watched the clock which was showing 9:30 pm. I made a cup of coffee for myself and went to my bedroom cum study. For a moment I missed the time when I use to have my night coffee with Zamil and my heart clenched with pain but I shrugged those memories while sipping that hot coffee and opening a case file to study. After marking few weak points and making noted I close the file as I was feeling sleepy. Clock hands were showing exactly 12 of night, switching off the lights I lay down on my bed, thinking about Abbas.

I still feels guilty that I send him behind the bars, that's a guilt which didn't let me sleep peacefully on the other hand there is a sorrow that Zamil did love his male ego more than me.

After watching different type of situations in my life I come to only one conclusion. Men think themselves superior in front of their wives!

Abbas wanted me to left my studies because he had doubt that I was involved in an Extramarital affair with Zamil, and Zamil wanted me to left my profession because he wasn't as famous as me!

Every night I think about all these things, as so I was doing that night when...

"Mumma are you sleeping?" I listened that small voice with the opening sound of door. Lifting my head from pillow I saw my daughter entering in the room.

"No beta.. I'm not sleeping, come" Opening my arms I said and Khushi came to bed, I embraced her and kissed her forehead while covering her with sheet.

"Same nightmare?" I asked in small voice and she nodded, I just caressed her head few times and she wrapped her arms around me.

"Khushi beta, we have to bear many pains in life" I said and looked towards her, she was on the edge of crying.

"Khushiii... That's not good.. Today is my birthday and you didn't even wish me" I said showing my offended way and she suddenly looked at me with wide eyes.

"Haawww... I'm sorry mumma" she said innocently and I smiled.

"Now wish me" I demanded and she said "Happy birthday mummy"

"Thank you princess." I smiled as so she. I keep talking with her and she forgot about her nightmare.

"Mumma, you know today Principal Sir announced my name in morning assembly as the most sincere student!" I felt proud on khushi and smiled wholeheartedly.

"My good girl" I whispered with a smile. Khushi was only nine according to her age but her mind was as sharp as a twenty years old girl, she was an intelligent, sharp minded and ideal daughter.

"Khushi beta Tomorrow is your debate, right?" I asked and khushi nodded.

"Sleep now" I said lovingly and she closed her eyes while wrapping her arms around me and I also embraced her.

You all must be thinking that how my daughter could be nine years old!

So let me tell you... Khushi, Mehek and Falak aren't my biological daughters but I adopted three of them.

Zamil and my marriage worked for only one year two months, he wanted to start family and he had only one condition that I had to leave my profession and stay at home like a house wife. I also wanted to make a happy family with him but I refused to leave my profession. He marry to another girl on my back, when I got to know about his betrayal I was completely broken, I did not waste much time to get separated from him. I bought my home with my own savings. For two months I was super depressed, whole day and night I had only cried for Zamil because I loved him from the deepest core of my heart, even I still love him.

But at that time I got know about a road accident case, in which a couple and three children were severely injured and unfortunately they weren't getting any kind of help from anyone, so I came forward in order to provide them every possible facility they could get from government. But destiny had their own plans. The couple as well as two children passed away, only one girl was left behind who was no one else but Khushi. She was left alone, and according to government policies she had to be sent to orphanage as she did not have any relatives, but I decided to adopt her. She was only six years old at that time. At the time of accident She was in her senses and she remembered how her parents and siblings were blood covered.

She got that nightmare almost every night and I feels so sad for her. But khushi is the reason of my happiness. After one year I adopted two more orphan girls. My Mehek and Falak.

They three are my life.

"Mum-maa.." that small mumbling grabbed my attention and I looked towards khushi, she was sleeping peacefully in my arms. Kissing her forehead and closed my eyes to sleep and I was gulped by slumber.

==============

"I want divorce, I can't live with him because he do doubt on me"

"It's not my doubt, I know you're involved in affair with your colleague, that's why you're trying to take divorce"

I was silently witnessing the couple sitting in front of me arguing with each other. I was watching Abbas and myself in both of them.

"Just a minute..." I said loudly and they both looked towards me.

"How do you know that she is involved in an affair with her colleague?" I asked the man

"She always talk to him with smile and happiness" The man replied and I looked towards the lady who was glaring her husband.

"What's your reason behind divorce?" I asked the lady and she got tears in her eyes.

"I do not want to live with a man who hurt my feelings and do doubt on me, he doesn't understand me." she replied and I looked towards both of them.

"Before filing for divorce I would suggest both of you to attend the counselling sessions, which I arranged in the last week of every month. In that sessions I discuss the issues of family and try to find out the solutions of them, divorce should be the last option because we get to know the value of a person after losing him/her from our life. "

I told both of them and they nodded before going out from my office. After two unsuccessful marriages I know how does it feels!

In Abbas' case maybe people consider me as a culprit because he was the one who allowed me to studying further, but that education made differences between us.

Marriage need compatibility, and we didn't had that, so the relationship was over on a bitter note! On the other hand in Zamil's case maybe everyone would consider me culprit because he wouldn't betray me if I would left my profession and identity.

But I have just a simple question for everyone....

What's the benefit of a relationship in which partners can't understand each other?

According to me love is the synonym of trust, respect and support towards each other but in both relationships I didn't got that that's why the pages of my BOOK OF LOVE are left blank!

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THE END....

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ASSALAMUALAIKUM/HELLO.

This story is ending here

I hope I haven't disappointed you all with this!

But if you people aren't finding out of worthy to be readed then lemme know, I won't feel bad but improve myself.

_Naaz Jamal