I can GUARANTEE that this is not what you were expecting when you read the title.

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Art is not mine!!! I'm just using it for inspiration! Just imagine this, but instead, his eyes are black with his normal green cat-pupils.

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WARNING: this oneshot is very crazy, would never happen, and sounds like I'm on drugs. I swear I'm not, I'm just desperate to get this oneshot crossed off the list so I can write the next one. XD

Enjoy!!

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Our history books tell us the most important lesson in the world. Never anger a god.

The Vikings knew when the sea was dangerous during a storm that they had enraged either Thor or his father, Odin. The Greeks and Romans worshiped their gods in exchange for good luck and safety. Because they knew not to anger a god.

Especially the god of Destruction.

Plagg was normally a chill kwami. (Kwami, god, same difference) Hardly anything phased him. His rules were simple. Don't mess with his cheese and don't be dumb.

But apparently that was too much to ask of Adrien Agreste.

He'd had a photo shoot that day and had neglected to feed Plagg his Camembert or to take him with him, since it was a pool-themed shoot and there'd be nowhere for Plagg to hide. Adrien insisted that the kwami could wait the two hours until he came back.

Plagg was already hangry. But then he'd overheard Adrien talking to Marinette after school. About how much he likes his "mystery girl" and telling the girl in front of him that she was a really good friend. He was completely oblivious to the fact that the girl he loved was the girl who he'd just friend-zoned. What made the situation even more terrible was when Adrien was walking to the limo, Plagg heard a really quiet choked sob. When he'd peeked around the blonde boy's arm, he saw Marinette, kneeling on the ground with her face in her hands.

Plagg was sure that Tikki was already consoling the girl and that Alya would have a movie night with her. But that changed nothing.

Plagg was out for blood.

He was furious, and annoyed, and hungry. But this was the last straw

No one hurts Marinette. Not on his watch.

Plagg huffed as he sat on Adrien's couch. He had to find a way to make Adrien regret pushing Marinette away. But the only thing he could think of was to rip his couch with his claws and pee on his clean laundry. Unfortunately, that didn't seem too devastating since Adrien could just hire someone to clean it up.

Plagg hissed in anger and attempted to shred his 'owner's designer jacket. Adrien was missing out on the most wonderful girl. They'd kissed several times before, but the doofus didn't remember! He'd even gone so far as to call Marinette his "Everyday Ladybug". But apparently he was to thick in the head to realize that maybe she was ACTUALLY Ladybug!!

Maybe, Plagg thought. If I could just get them to kiss, he'd get some sense knocked into him.

He was so caught up in his plan to get Marinette and Adrien together that he didn't see the approaching purple butterfly until it was too late. The akuma landed on the leather jacket he was sitting on.

Plagg gasped as purple lined his vision. His body felt paralyzed as the sinister villain's voice filled his head.

"Plaggbastian," said the evil man. "I am Hawkmo—"

"—I know who you are." Plagg snarkily replied. "Spare me the devious plan to take down Ladybug and Chat Noir. Please just cut to the chase about my new powers you'll give me. You don't need to mention the 'in exchange for their Miraculouses' part of the speech, either. It's just redundant at this point."

There was a small shocked silence before Hawkmoth finally returned in his head and spoke. He sounded like he was smirking.

"As my servant, I can give you the power to get your one-true-pairing together. All you need to do i—"

"—yadda yadda yadda," Plagg said. "Just call it an OTP, thank you. Gimme my new powers, old timer."

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The photo shoot was going well for Adrien. In fact, he'd just finished modeling the swimming trunks selection and pulled on a shirt.

To be honest, he felt guilty for leaving Plagg at his home. He made a mental note to pick up some cheese Danishes from the bakery on his way back.

Suddenly, there was a scream.

That was the only warning the blonde model had before his dressing room tent was ripped out of the group by a strong force. The tent fell to the ground, trapping Adrien in its folds. He quickly fell to the ground and tried to crawl his way to the entrance through all the chaos.

What is going on?! He asked himself, rhetorically. Is it an akuma?!

At last, he made it through the opening and looked around. The sight before him made his jaw drop.

Standing a hundred yards away was a boy his age. He wore a dangerous black leather jacket with a green shirt, underneath, and black pants and shoes. He had deep brown skin and black fluffy hair. There were two strands of black hair in particular that were longer than the rest. His eyes were unnerving; black was where the whites of his eyes should be and his irises were a bright green. It took Adrien a moment to realize that the boy's eyes were cat eyes, but darker—almost like a demon's.

The scariest thing about the boy, was the swirls is dark matter and wind that circled around him. It seemed like he controlled the dark mass as it rippled, dangerously, and made him hover in the air.

The boy's cat eyes were trained on Adrien in a slight hateful, concentrated ray. 

"Who are you?!" Adrien called in horror.

"Your worst nightmare." Came the scathing, yet familiar voice.

Adrien knew it must have been an akuma that had affected someone he knew, but he couldn't put his finger on who it was. Regardless, he had to distract him. He faked a look of complete and utter terror.

"A-a-another diet p-plan?!"

The boy with swirling dark powers laughed.

"Very funny, Adrien. But we both know that your biggest fear is that Ladybug will never love you and will grow to hate your guts."

Adrien gasped. There were only two other people who knew about his true fear. Ladybug, herself. And....

"Plagg?!"

The boy wth black hair and glowing green devilish eyes laughed maniacally.

"Took you long enough, Banana Brain," he said, floating closer.

"I—wha—what happened? Is this because I didn't feed you?!"

"Tsk, tsk, Poor Adrien. It's only part of the reason I allowed myself to be akumitized."

"Why, then?!"

"The other reason is because you hurt Marinette! You broke her heart! And now I'm here to finally get you two together so you can stop being so oblivious toward each other and end all of this torture!!"

"Wha—AAAAAAAHH!!" Adrien shrieked as Plagg's dark mass of swirls lunged forward and grabbed him.

Plagg and his dark mass (including a struggling Adrien) shot across the city. The humanoid-devil-Plagg looked like he was searching for something. At last, his glowing cat eyes zeroed in on a lone girl sitting on the park bench, under a tree.

https://youtu.be/HncGtWcqyV0

(A/N: Play the song, now)

There you see her, Plagg sang, his voice, as smooth and lulling as smoke.

Sitting there across the way,

She don't got a lot to say,

But there's something about her.

From their vantage point, Adrien saw as she started to get up from her seat. Her pigtails were looser than normal, and drooped, rather than be in its normal bouncy state.

And you don't know why,

But you're dying to try,

Plagg and his mass of dark clouds raced towards the ground, aiming at the blunette girl—Adrien being tugged behind him.

You wanna kiss the girl.

Marinette's attention nearly found them before Plagg hid behind the fountain. She looked around in suspicion, clearly noting that she was being watched.

Yes, you want her,

Adrien tried to get out a yell to warn his friend, but Plagg's dark swirls blocked his mouth, as they had been, before.

Look at her, you know you do,

It's possible she wants you too,

There's one way to ask her,

She decidedly turned her face away from the person she knew was watching, making sure they didn't read her expression.

It don't take a word, not a single word,

Go on and kiss the girl.

Marinette darted off, in a random direction, hoping to confuse her stalker. Plagg followed along in the distance, using his powers to cause blocks on the other sides of the streets to keep others from interfering with him and his goal in mind.

Shalalalala,

My oh my,

Looks like the boy's too shy,

He shot a glance at Adrien, struggling in his grasp, and chuckled.

Ain't gonna kiss the girl.

Up ahead, the blonde boy witnessed Marinette make a sharp turn into a side-alley. He panicked internally; she'd be trapped in there, with no way to defend herself!!

Shalalalala,

Ain't that sad,

It's such a shame, Plagg smirked, knowing what the girl was doing. He looked back to make sure that Adrien had stopped struggling enough to witness this. He neared the alley opening.

Too bad, you're gonna miss the girl.

Adrien's eyes widened as he saw a flash of pink light. Almost too fast for his eyes to capture it, he saw Marinette transform into a fitted, red supersuit with black spots. The familiar mask, which he'd seen hundreds of times, surrounded her clever blue eyes.

He recognized those eyes. He yelped with surprise.

It was Ladybug. Marinette was Ladybug.

Now's your moment, Plagg sank in his swoon-worthy voice as he neared the newly transformed lady.

Floating in a blue lagoon,

Boy, you'd better do it soon,

Ladybug wasted no time in flinging her yo-yo at Plagg—trying to wrap it around him.

No time will be better.

Plagg dodged her weapon and utilized his own dark-mass swirl of magic.

It don't take a word,

The dark, wispy tentacles (or swirls) warped aroung the end of the Ladybug heroine's yo-yo and yanks her closer.

Not a single word,

The lady hero was flunk towards the mass of dark swirls.

Go on and,

While trying to catch her balance, she caught sight of Adrien, struggling and being held captive. She gasped and yanked her own yo-yo to free it from Plagg's magic.

Kiss the Girl.

Face set in determination, Ladybug attached her yo-yo to a nearby lamp-post. She took a running leap and the zip of her yo-yo sounded through the street.

Shalalalala,

Don't be scared,

Ladybug used the momentum to swing in a wide semi-circle, trying to reach Adrien.

You've got the mood prepared,

Go on and kiss the girl.

She scrambled at the dark swirls that entangled Adrien and tried to break him free. Plagg watched the scene with growing curiosity.

Shalalalala,

Don't stop now,

The akumitized kwami reached out his powers, at last, and caught the female hero, as well.

Don't try to hide it, how,

You wanna,

Plagg drew her struggling form closer to Adrien and kept her there.

Kiss the Girl. He sang, looking mischievous. 

"What?!" Ladybug cried out, looking at him in shock. "What did you say?!"

Plagg paused from sinking, but only for a moment.

"If you want to get out of here, all you have to do, is follow the song's instructions."

At her puzzled expression, he started singing in his smokey-quality voice.

Shalalalala-a-a-a,

Float along,

Listen to the song,

Adrien's eyes widened as he could see what Plagg had in mind.

The song say,

Kiss the Girl.

Ladybug blushed. In fury, or embarassment, or at the prospect of kissing Adrie? Even she didn't know.

Shalalalala,

Music play, Plagg insisted.

Do what the Music say,

Go on and kiss the girl (kiss the girl)

At last, the swirl of dark matter covering Adrien's mouth slid off. He gasped for air as he watched Plagg singing and floating around—in his element.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Plagg sang, slightly taunting them.

Ye-yeah!

Ladybug seemed to be making a hard decision. She clutched at her pigtails, in a sign of stress.

Shalalalala—floa—yeah, yeah, ye-yeah, Plagg sang off, losing himself in the actual lyrics—he was having way too much fun, mixing up the song.

Ladybug turned to Adrien, a determined look in her eyes.

Kiss the—

"Adrien, I'm deeply sorry for this. I promise I'll make it up to you."

—Girl

"Sorry for what?"

Ki-kiss the—

Ladybug quickly leaned forward and connected their lips.

—Girl.

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Nyehehehe. That cliff-hanger was totally intentional.

It is totally not like I just lost motivation to write a legit conclusion to this, right? XD

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Did y'all like the song?

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I know the lyrics are "Kiss the Girl", and it was obviously Ladybug who kissed Adrien—not vice versa, but just deal with it, please. I'm tired and emotionally drained 'cause I read the entire book of "Chain of Gold" by Cassandra Clare (which is about 600 pages) in 14 hours, straight, and went to bed at 2am. It was a very sad book and an emotional rollercoaster. And I had to wake up to go to my grandparents' house at 6am. So, I'm tired and can't wait to sleep.

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Gabriel: *repreatedly lets and sometimes volunteers his own son to be in the center of akuma attacks, or at least in the area.*

Adrien: Hey, Dad, can I go to school, like a normal kid?

Also Gabriel:....No. Too dangerous.

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So I know that this isn't my best work, by far, but at least it's an update XD

I just really wanted to do a song-fic, since it's been a while.

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Alright. Let's have a talk; let me explain myself.

I know that this wouldn't actually happen in the show. But I'm a fan of Chase Holfelder and I loved his minor version of "Kiss the Girl". My mind just went going when I heard it and I imagined a dark/akumatized human version of Plagg singing this.

Then I had to figure out a reason why Plagg would sing this, and I came up with the idea that Adrien called Marinette a "friend" one time too many and the enraged black kwami desperately wanted his OTP to get together.

K. Good talk. XD

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'Aight. Imma eat something now, spend time with my family, and go to bed.

'Bye!!

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Any comments?

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Have a nice day!

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Love, ya!

<3 Katie