Me: *walks in*

*whistles 'Miraculous Theme Song'*

*notices eager readers awaiting the story*

*jumps with fright*

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

*puts hand on chest*

You scared me!!!

Readers: *crowd around Katie*

Me: *panics*

What is it that you want?! I'll do anything! Just don't touch my ice cream!!

Readers: WRitE a nEW MLB ONeshOT!!!

Me: *calms down*

Sure! But I'll warn you; it's gonna cost ya! What do you want me to write about?

Readers: *raises pitchforks and torches*

Torture Lila!!!

Me: *already has notebook and pen*

WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE?! Forget the payment; I'll do this for FREE, my darlings!!!

'''''

Artwork made by me! (Lila inspired by another artist's work, though)

'''''

Enjoy! 😈

'''''

Lila Rossi was having a bad day.

First, Adrien didn't pay her any attention, today.

Next, Marinette and Alya invited Adrien over after school; so Lila didn't have a chance to make an excuse for them to spend time together.

Then, that Chloé girl pushed her into a puddle of mud.

And when she thought things couldn't get worse, someone in a black van pulled up beside her as she was walking home and hurled her into the vehicle. They bound her hands, threw a black hood over her face, and kidnapped her!!!

She'd been in the back of the van for at least a few hours, and it was driving her crazy! (A/N: hehe puns 😉)

"If you don't return me this instant; my parents will report this to Scotland Yard, the Queen of England, and to Prince Ali, himself!" Lila threatened, for the twelfth time. "We're very personal friends with all of them and they will hunt you down! There'll be nowhere for you to hide after they're done with you!"

When there was no response, she tried a different tactic.

"If you bring me back, I'll give you anything you want!! The Mayor's hotel, the Moon, a Lamborghini—anything!!"

Again, no response.

Lila sighed.

"Wait!" She quickly sat up; the hood still over her head. "Do you work for Hawkmoth? What is it you want? I can get you Ladybug and Chat Noir's Miraculouses, I swear! Or you can have mine! I'll have you know; I'm a pretty well-known heroine, myself. I'm way better than those pesky animals."

The silence was deafening, so she continued.

"My hero name is Volpina—perhaps you've heard of me? I wouldn't be surprised if you have. There was this one time I saved Paris from a Godzilla-themed akuma. Or how I saved a baby from being trampled by a runaway stampede of elephants? Or when I rescued Adrien from falling into a pit of fire after one of his angry fans got akumitized? He kissed me right there beca—"

The car stopped, abruptly; tires screeching and causing Lila to fall off the seat and land on the hard, metal floor of the car.

She groaned and rubbed her head with her bound hands.

Lila heard the sound of the door opening and felt herself being dragged out of the car.

"Ouch!" she hissed. "Be a little more gentle! I have a medical condition that causes me to bruise easily if I get even the slightest bit hurt!"

The person set her on the ground and forcefully marched her into a building.

Lila cried out as she was shoved onto a metal chair—where her hands were tied onto the armrests.

She felt the hood being pulled off her head, with a flourish.

She turned around in her seat to see the young woman behind her.

She was a short girl with fair skin, brown eyes, and medium-length black hair. She was wearing a short-sleeved pastel yellow shirt with light blue jeans and white sneakers.

The young woman held the removed hood in her small hands.

"Who do you think you are?" Lila demanded. "Do you even know who I am? I'm Adrien Agreste's girlfriend!! Just wait until he gets ahold of yo—"

"—That's enough!" A distorted shout sounded through the room.

But it didn't come from the black-haired girl.

Lila grew even more nervous as a short, dark-clad figure approached her from the other side of the room.

They were wearing a long and bulky dark overcoat with a mask over their face—preventing the lying brunette from seeing their true form.

Lila could feel her face pale as the figure continued advancing. With a final 'clack' of their boots, the person stopped in front of Lila. They turned from her to the raven-haired young woman behind her.

"How did you stand her lying, Jelewsie?" they queried; voice still distorted.

The black-haired woman grimaced.

"I couldn't. I ended up putting in my earbuds and blasting a One Direction album to keep myself from strangling her."

"Which album?" came the disguised voice.

"'Made in the AM'," 'Jelewsie' replied.

"Is that the one with 'Story of my Life' in it?"

Jelewsie shook her head and sighed.

"Uncultured swine," she teased.

The two of them chuckled.

Lila watched the exchange, confused.

"Umm," she complained. "I'm right here, you know!"

The pair continued to ignore her.

"So what's with the outfit?" the raven-haired girl asked her friend, giggling.

The figure shrugged.

"Oh, you know me, Jels. I'm always up for a dramatic entrance."

Lila let out an exasperated huff.

"Will someone explain what's going on?!" she demanded.

The unknown person faced her, again. Lila felt goosebumps race along her spine.

"Thank you, Jels. You can go now; I'll take care of her."

Jelewsie smirked.

"Have fun!"

She left, practically skipping out of the door.

Lila was shaking in fear as the figure stared her down.

"Right," they said in their deep voice. "First things first."

They slipped their hand underneath their coat; pulling off a small device.

"You know," they spoke; this time, in a feminine voice. "Normally, I'd apologize for my terrifying appearance," they drew out the sentence.

They slipped off the dark mask; revealing the fair, feminine face behind it.

Lila felt her jaw drop in shock.

The young woman's hazel-brown eyes twinkled mischievously as she pulled her long hair out of its high ponytail.

Light brown locks came cascading around her pretty face in a messy manner.

"But," the young woman continued speaking. "Then I'd be lying."

She smirked and shrugged off the dark coat to reveal the less-than-daunting clothes underneath.

She donned a short-sleeved light pink shirt and blue jeans. A royal-blue hoodie was tied 'round her pudgy but curvy waist.

Overcoming her shock, Lila began to laugh, hysterically.

The young woman before her merely quirked an eyebrow; she had expected this kind of reaction.

"You—," Lila paused to let out a cackle. "You're just a kid!!"

The girl placed her hand on her cocked hip.

"So are you. And yet, both you and Chloe have caused pretty much every akumitization in the past 6 months."

(A/N: Ooooooh! Sassy Katie has entered the house!!👏😆 K, I'll stop, now XD)

Lila flushed with fury.

"How dare you make an accusation like that!! I'll have you know; my parents are very influential. They can have you killed for that kind of talk!!"

"And I'll have you know," the lighter brunette spoke in a cold tone. "That there are many people in our fando— ahem—world that want you dead for that kind of talk."

Lila paled at the statement.

"Wait, what?! Why would they want me dead?! I'm such a nice person! I haven't done anything wrong!"

The girl sneered at her.

"Well, there are several reasons why wewant you dead. Because of your inability to tell the truth. Because you teamed up with Hawkmoth. Because you hurt Marinette. Because you're a selfish cow—I mean—a bad person. And many more. But most importantly; you're breaking up the ships."

Lila froze.

"'The ships'?" she repeated. "I haven't broken any ship! I haven't even been near one!!"

She felt her insides churn as the girl gave her a deadly glare.

She walked toward Lila, looking threatening—despite her innocent outward appearance.

"You must be dumber than I thought," the girl said in a low voice. "I'm not talking of a literal boat. The ships I speak of are part of a group of Relation-Ships."

Wow, Lila felt stupid.

Is this what Marinette feels like, all the time? She thought to herself.

Lila hurriedly schooled her expression—trying to look innocent.

"But I haven't interfered with any relationships!" She claimed.

"Nice try, Lie-la. But you can't fool me."

"I'm telling the truth!! I don't remember doing any of that!" Lila, gasped, suddenly. "It must be my walking amnesia!"

"Oh no," the girl before her replied, sarcastically. "How terrible. Big sad. What a tragedy."

Choosing to ignore the girl's antics, Lila nodded, vigorously.

"It acts up every once in a while—I thought it was over; I haven't had a memory-lapse in a while. But, now, all this stress must be messing with my brain!" She faked a wail.

"Well then," the girl smirked. "I suppose we must get you to a mental hospital. May I suggest the permanent-residence ward?"

"Stop making fun of me! This is a real problem!"

The girl with light brown hair made a sudden movement—startling Lila. She crossed the room, quickly, and grabbed Lila's shoulder; shaking her, slightly.

"Well since you're having such a hard time remembering the ships—how about I remind you, myself?"

The girl pulled back and began counting on her fingers.

"Adrienette, Ladrien, Ladynoir, Marichat," she paused to give Lila a scowl. "You're even breaking up indirect ships!!! DJWifi and Mylivan are strained because half of them believe your lies! Chlonath and Kimlix haven't even gone canon because of you!!"

Lila scoffed, dropping the innocent act, at last.

"So what?" She crossed her arms, snootily. "What's it to you? I don't even know who you are; I don't have to tell you anything."

"My name is Katelyn Avery—member of the MLB Fandom, part of the Varian-protection squad, Sass-master Extraordinaire, and I will make your life miserable unless you listen to me, right now."

Katie smirked as she watched Lila pale, considerably.

"I can guarantee to you that if you do not stop interfering with said ships," Katie paused for dramatic effect—tucking her hair behind her ear as she did so. "There will be no place you can hide. We have fandom members in every continent and they will be searching for you. Not even your lies will be able to hide you from us."

Scowl back in place, Lila sneered at Katie.

"You can't threaten me," she said. "I have many powerful people at my disposal. I'm protected by Prince Ali, the President of the United States, Mahatma Ghandi, and Gabriel Agreste, himself."

To her utter surprise, the smug smile never left the other girl's face.

Katie shook her head in mock disapproval, 'tut'ing, dramatically.

"Come on, Lila. Surely you have better lies than that. You see," she continued. "Prince Ali lives in a completely different nation and is infatuated with your classmate, Rose. Secondy, Donald Trump barely does anything, so why would he protect you? Third, Mahatma Ghandi is dead. And fourth, although you do know Gabriel Agreste, you forget that I have blackmail against both of you."

At this, Lila drew back.

"What blackmail?"

Katie smirked.

"Oh, you know, something to do with you, and a certain event that happened....when was it? Five years ago? But no one knew who did it, did they?" She spoke, gauging the darker brunette's reaction.

"And what was the code word you used? Ah, yes."

Katelyn leaned closer to the intimidated girl.

"Redtail."

"Okay!" Lila shrieked. "Okay, you win!! I won't bother any of the ships!"

But the lighter brunette chuckled.

"See, that's the problem, Lila. I'm so used to your lying how do I know when you're telling the truth?"

"I'll do anything!" She begged.

"Well, first, you have to leave both Adrien Agreste and Marinette Dupain-Chang alone."

Lila's eyes widened, but she didn't speak. She didn't dare say a word for fear that Katelyn would expose her secret to the world.

"Then, I want you to admit to each and every lie you've told since you came to Francois-Dupont. And do it at a school assembly. Then, I want you to never speak of our meeting, here, to anyone. And finally, I want you do an essay report on 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf'. Leave it on Mme. Bustier's desk, after school on Monday. I'll pick it up, later."

"Wait, what? Why?" Lila asked, momentarily stunned.

"No reason," Katie smirked. "I just want to see what lengths you'll go to, to keep your secret safe."

She called Jelewsie back into the room.

The raven-haired girl came in, eating a sandwich.

"Wha ith it?" Came her muffled question.

Katie chuckled.

"Come again?"

Jels swallowed her mouthful.

"What is it?" She reiterated.

"Lila's ready to go home."

"Already?"

Katelyn shrugged.

"She took a lot shorter to cave than I thought she would. I didn't even get to use the Quirinium!" 

The brunette pouted, slightly.

"Darn it!"

Lila watched the exchange, silently. She couldn't help but feel a sense of relief that they hadn't used 'Quirinium', whatever that was.

Jelewsie stuffed the rest of her sandwich in her mouth and swallowed.

She turned towards Lila and started undoing her binds to the chair.

The darker brunette stood up—rubbing her wrists.

When she looked up, she saw Jels holding the black hood.

"Oh great, I have to wear that, again?!"

Jels shrugged.

"We can't have you giving away our secret headquarters."

The hood was thrown over Lila's head and secured in the back.

"Lila." Came Katie's somewhat menacing voice.

The girl flinched.

"Yes?"

"I have spies everywhere; they'll be watching to make sure that you keep your promises."

Lila gulped. Katelyn continued.

"If you don't do as you have been ordered, then I'll have to pay the press a visit. Although, I can't guarantee that my lips will be sealed over the Redtail matter."

Lila paled.

"I—I promise I'll do it all! Just don't—don't say anything!"

"We'll see about that."

With that, Jelewsie march Lila out of the door and into the car.

She shut the car door and turned to her friend.

"Try not to drive off a bridge." Katie said, chuckling.

"No promises! She drives me nuts!"

A loud guffaw interrupted the two girls.

They spun around to see their favorite cat-themed hero on the rooftop.

"That was a good pun," Chat complimented Jelewsie.

The raven-haired girl blushed and immediately started fanning herself.

"Hey, Chat!" called the brunette, nervously. "Whatcha doin' there?"

"You know, as a hero, I normally look down on kidnapping people and interrogating them."

Katie smiled, sheeishly.

"But," the hero continued. "As a person who's witnessed the bad things said person has done, I guess I'll let this one slide."

The young woman grinned and hugged him.

"Thanks, Chat. You're the best."

"Don't mewntion it."

He turned to Jels, charmingly.

"Chat Noir, at your service."

When she didn't respond, Katie spoke in her stead.

"This is my friend, Jelewsie."

"A lovely name for a lovely lady," He grinned.

A loud 'Thump!' sounded through the air.

Then came Katie's irritated voice.

"Great, Chat. Thanks to you, my getaway driver has fainted!!"

"Sorry, Katie, But it's not my fault that I'm so amewsingly handsome and charismatic!!"

'''''

*Credits roll*

Starring...

Lila Rossi as a lump of dirt

@rapunzelina664 as Katie

@Jelewsie as Jelewsie/Jels

With Special Guest: Chat Noir as the Lord of the Puns

'''''

*cups hands around mouth, like a megaphone*

ATTENTION EVERYONE!

*pulls a bound and gagged Lila out of nowhere and ties her to the ceiling like a piñata*

If you vote on my chapter, I'll let you hit this here Lying Piñata with this bat!!

*holds out baseball bat*

*everyone clamors to vote on chapter and get the bat*

Woah woah woah! 

One at a time, people!

 One! At! A! Time!

'''''

In case you were wondering, Jels, this oneshot is the reason that I asked you those random questions a while ago.

I needed to know your height, fave album, and fave outfit for this. XD

I got your physical appearance from your Bitmoji—I hope you don't mind.

Oh and for your information, I do know the difference between at least a few of the 1D albums. I actually have a few of their songs on my phone—although, I admit, I'm no actual fan XD

'''''

Wow, that was fun!!

I've never threatened anyone outloud, before.

I loved writing that. XD

'''''

*disgruntled readers noises*

What's that?

*cups ear*

*more disgruntled readers noises*

You don't think that I really tortured her?

Well, excuse me for not wanting to write long, gore-filled descriptions of me using a guillotine and beheading Lila. I'm trying to keep things PG here.

*readers continue to complain*

How 'bout this?

First, I'll turn her into a flea; a harmless little flea.

Then, I'll put that flea in a box.

And I'll place that box inside another box and then mail that box to myself.

And when it arrives...

MUWAHAHAHAHA

I'll smash it with a hammer!

*evil laugh*

It's brilliant! Brilliant! Brilliant, I say!

*turns to readers*

Will that suffice?

*happy readers and Emperor's-New-Groove-fans noises*

'''''

You guys, I swear I'm not as mean, rude, or cold as I am portrayed in the oneshot!! XD

I'm actually very bubbly, a total nerd, and am pretty much the politest person on the planet. 

Heck, I just apologized to a scammer, the other day!! (Long story short; they tried to scam me, I sent back a sassy response, and then felt guilty about it and sent an apology XD)

I'm basically a muffin.

Like, even my friends call me their "Lil' Blueberry Muffin"

'Cause I'm short, sweet,and innocent. But I have a few bursts of sourness here and there.

Great now I want to eat a muffin.

*gasp*

Is that considered cannibalism?!

'''''

Don't forget to vote!!

'''''

Comments?

Questions?

Requests to be featured in the background of the next oneshot?

(This will only be available to the first 3 people who comment "Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream is the BEST" right here) ➡️

'''''

Have a nice day!!

Love ya!

<3 Katie the Muffin