🎵 "Back 2 Good" - Matchbox Twenty

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TRACK #6 - SPRING

"Back 2 Good" - Matchbox Twenty

SLAM. BANG. CRASH.

The sound of glass shattering rang in my ear, but it seemed so far away. My arms were glued to my sides while I felt my body flail about.

"Is she breathing?" a voice asked. I felt hands at the side of my throat.

"I'm right here!" I wanted to scream, but nothing came out. I heard the distinct sound of boots stomping before more hands were on me.

My mind swirled as it tried to grab onto the reality it currently was in. I had no control over my thoughts while my mind cycled back to what it felt like it could process, back to the day I got myself into this mess; the day I agreed to go to Prom with Brock:

"Aria! What is it? Are you alright?!" It was Adrian I ran into first, not Emma. Two study spaces were set up across from each other in the library, books and notes strewn along the table, but Adrian was the only one occupying a seat.

"Where is Emma?" I choked out, looking around the empty room. Tears streamed down my face before I could stop them, and my heart pounded in my chest. I breathed heavily, gasping for air.

"She'll be right back. She ran to the restroom. Here, sit, sit..." Adrian pulled a chair out for me, and before he could say anything more, my arms were around him and I was sobbing into his shirt. I couldn't contain myself any longer.

Gentle footsteps rang in my ears behind me, and I jumped as another pair of arms slid around me. "It's okay, Aria. What's going on?" Emma asked gently. I began blurting out the series of events I had just taken part in, not even stopping to remember or care that Adrian was present.

"This... this could actually be a good thing," he said after I was finally finished. "I think we can use this to our advantage..."

"Um, 'we'? Oh, no, I don't think so." Emma shook her head. Not only was this not Adrian's business, but I think somewhere she knew that his involvement might cause a rift in her current relationship with Elijah. It was one thing to study for a final exam they both had, another to plan the takedown of high school royalty together.

"In case you forgot, I'm the one who drove you both home that awful night. Well, morning, I guess. I knew something happened, but I didn't know what. It hurt that I couldn't do anything then, but I can do something now. Just hear me out, okay?" He looked at each of us, silently pleading for us to comply. Emma and I glanced at each other sideways, then nodded for him to continue. "Okay, so Justin, who is the center on my hockey team, works weekends at The Bridgeview Crown. I'm positive he'd give me the room number Brock books. We could have him set up a two-way radio in Brock's room, and book an extra room for me and Emma to be on standby to catch Brock in the act. Aria could use a code word that would alert us to come help her."

"A room? For us?!" Emma's voice raised an octave. "How would I even begin to explain that to Elijah?"

"I don't care what you have to tell him," Adrian rested his hands on his hips. "But I will not let the two of you risk yourselves without being there to protect you."

"This isn't some kind of James Bond movie," I chastised, my breath coming more naturally at this point. "I know you want to help, Adrian, and I honestly appreciate it, but I only agreed to go to Prom with him. As far as I am concerned, there will be no room to go afterwards."

"Aria, be serious..." Adrian looked directly into my eyes, willing me to understand. "You know damn well that he is going to book a room and find a way to try to force you to–" He choked on his words, and I grimaced. He paused for a moment, wiping the corners of his mouth before continuing. "His ego is too big not to try again."

We were all quiet for several moments before Emma chimed in. "Actually, I think Adrian's right..." It was obvious that she was speaking despite her better judgment. "Brock probably already has a room booked for the night. Think about it. He has made it no secret that he still wants you, Aria, but he isn't an idiot. He knows that you wouldn't willingly sleep with him. He also knows that you will only play his game so that he will keep your secret, and so that you can keep Noah safe. But he knows that you are smart enough to have a plan in your back pocket to try to stop him from taking advantage of you again. It's like the ultimate conquest for him," she said as her face twisted in disgust. "It would be the best stroke to his ego to take you twice without your permission, especially if he thinks he is stopping some trick you had up your sleeve. He wouldn't be able to resist." She tapped her finger on her chin a few times in thought. Her eyes lit up, and I knew she had come up with an idea. "We can use that against him, though. Feed him a fake plan so that we can catch him with a real one. If Adrian has connections that we can use to do that, especially ones that we wouldn't have to give too much information to... Well, why not?"

"'We?'" Adrian echoed her words, hopeful.

She shot Adrian a warning look before turning her body fully towards me. She offered me a small, sad smile. "This could finally mean the end to all of this."

I bit my lip while I studied their faces. It was a risk, a huge risk, but they seemed determined. I sighed apprehensively. "Are you sure you want to help? I don't want to ruin this night for either of you. Em, this is Elijah's senior prom–" I explained as guilt squeezed my stomach.

"Please don't even give that another thought," Emma quickly dismissed my guilt like it was an absurd concern. "Prom is not more important than your safety, Aria. This is ultimately your decision, but I think we should do it." She searched my face for a response.

"Fine, but you're to immediately tell Elijah the ENTIRE story the second this is all over. There is no way around it. I know we can't tell him now, or he won't let us go through with it." Not to mention, he would tell Noah. Noah. I winced before I shook my head clear. "Elijah only, though. Under no circumstances is anyone else to know about this... not even Noah. I will be the one to tell him. He deserves the truth from me." Emma and Adrian let out a sigh of relief.

"Okay," Emma began as she huddled us closer together. "Here is what I'm thinking..."

I awoke to the sound of steady beeping. Wait, where was I? Did the plan work? My breathing sped while I peered around the empty hospital room.

"Emma?" I called. It was the only name I could think of, the only person I wanted to see. I was met instead with my mom jogging into the room.

"Oh, sweetheart," she uttered softly before wrapping her arms around me. I felt my body recoil.

"Why am I here? Where is Emma?" I managed to say through dry lips. My entire mouth felt like the Sahara.

"She's in the waiting room. Are you okay?" The creases beside her eyes folded, and I suddenly felt more guilt for all of the people who were unknowingly affected by this. My mom didn't deserve more stress than she already had. My father was getting worse. I felt cold, selfish.

"I'm fine..." I whispered, my voice hoarse. "I need to talk to Emma."

"I'll get her, but first, please tell me what happened," my mom demanded firmly. As I looked up at her, the floodgates behind my eyes opened. How could I tell my own mom everything that had happened? I was so ashamed. Would she look at me the same if she knew? I couldn't risk it. I couldn't tell her. I shook my head in hysterics. Once she realized I wasn't willing to speak, she heaved a great sigh. "I'll get her, but please know that I expect a conversation when this settles, as do the police."

The police? My legs began to tremble while my mom exited and Emma entered the room. She threw her arms around me, squeezing me tightly. There were tears in her eyes, too. "You're alright!" A smile of relief formed on her lips while she beamed down at me.

"What happened?" The monitors beeped wildly next to me, an indication that I had to calm down.

"It's just like I told the police." She winked, and I saw a knowing flash in her eyes. She was alerting me to listening ears, something my fuzzy mind reminded me that we discussed. "I had been in Adrian's room when we got into a fight. I started walking the halls to cool down, and I heard screams coming from what ended up being your room. I ran back to Adrian's room and began frantically banging on the door, and he came flying out to see what was wrong. I dove into the room to call hotel security, but Adrian decided to take matters into his own hands. Well, feet. Adrian kicked the door down and punched the hell out of Brock until he couldn't move from underneath him. I came back to the room as soon as I hung up the phone so that I could help with the situation, and Adrian held Brock down until security came. Then, the police came. We told them that judging from your screams, it seemed like Brock was forcing you. We knew we couldn't wait until authorities got there, so that's why Adrian broke down the door. He's actually two rooms down with a broken hand." A smirk played about her lips as I could see the pride on her face. That hadn't been a part of any plan, but I couldn't say that I was upset about it. "Anyway, the police were able to confirm mine and Adrian's statements with the video footage from the hotel's security cameras." Her face turned dark, and I knew she was replaying the footage of Brock and me as we made our way towards the room. "Seems that there was some pretty damning evidence of him lashing out and forcing you to go along with him. I just wish you could have gotten a hold of that fire extinguisher or the hose like you had wanted to so that you could have held him off."

That was part of the real plan. I had to work him up as best as I could so that he would be careless in front of the security cameras. We even worked out which angles were best for me to display his cruel intentions. The reach back towards the vending machine area? Why, I was looking for a weapon to defend myself, of course. Even though it had been organized, it still didn't make it any easier for Emma to watch. I frowned.

Now for the big question. "Does... everyone know?" I asked quietly. Part of me didn't want to know, but a bigger part of me did. As much as I hated the idea of people finding out, I was only really concerned about one person in particular at the moment. I met Emma's eyes, and I could tell she knew what I was really asking.

"A few stragglers did see you and Brock being taken out, him in handcuffs and you on a stretcher. Like I said, Adrian and I had to give our statements, but neither of us have spoken to anyone else about it. I just wasn't sure what you were comfortable with sharing to everyone else, so I haven't explained anything to anyone yet." She looked at me pointedly then, and I caught onto her meaning. That's why my mom was still so frantic. Emma rested her hand on mine. It was our signal that what she was about to say wasn't scripted. She watched my face while she hesitantly added, "Including Noah. He came to the hospital, but your mom sent him home since we didn't know how long you would be out of it." She looked at me sadly. "He is really worried about you."

I nodded, choked up at the unexpected information about Noah. "Thank you," I managed to squeak out, "for everything."

She patted me gently on the arm. "Please don't thank me. I was happy to do it. And besides, you would have done the same for me."

I smiled. That was true. I would always have her back, no matter what. Forever.

I winced slightly while I adjusted my position in the uncomfortable hospital bed. Emma leaned over me and started fussing, but I kindly waved her off and sighed, my mind taking a different turn. "Ugh... I can only imagine the rumors that will be circulating when we get back to school."

Emma scoffed. "Let those idiots have their rumors. It's the last week of school, anyways. Besides, we know the truth. And thanks to your bravery, that asshole is behind bars where he belongs. You can finally sleep peacefully." I nodded in agreement. She slid her hand on top of mine once more and squeezed. "I should let you get some rest. They'll probably let you go soon. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" I nodded and accepted the hug Emma was already giving me. She left shortly thereafter, having a lot of explaining to do to Elijah. He would be furious that we put ourselves in danger, but we both knew that he would eventually understand. I was just hoping that Noah would do the same.

It was then my turn to tell my side of things, both to my mom and to the authorities. She sat on my bedside and held my hand the entire time, sending me strength while I relayed the events as they occurred that evening. I felt my mom tense on more than one occasion, and I offered her a gentle squeeze of reassurance each time.

"At some point," she began after the police left, "I expect to hear the rest of what actually happened." I had no idea how she knew that I was withholding part of the story, but I appreciated that she understood that it wasn't something I wanted to be known. At least, not on record. I looked into her eyes, and felt nothing but love radiating off of her. I smiled at her as a form of acknowledgement, knowing that one day I would be able to tell her everything.

I was released in the early hours of the morning and slept most of that day away with a sense of peace that I had not felt in a very, very long time. It was late that night when I logged onto the internet, and the familiar "You've got mail!" greeted me like an old friend. I had been hoping that I could catch Noah online. I didn't think I had the courage to explain things to him if I saw him on, but I had hoped to at least thank him for checking in on me while I was in the hospital. Not to mention, he deserved an explanation in person.

Either way, it didn't matter. He didn't log on at all that night, or the following day. I summoned up enough courage to call him– once. It rang and rang until I finally hung up the phone. Emma got the 4-1-1 from Elijah, who said that Noah had still been upset at seeing Brock and me leave together after Prom. When he learned that I was okay, he didn't want to see or talk to anybody. He just locked himself in his room. That meant that even if a part of me was hoping to talk to him over the weekend, I wasn't going to be able to corner him until I got to school. I honestly hadn't even planned on going since it was the last week, and my mom thought it was best for me to take the time to recover. My grades were good enough, and my attendance was fine as well. There really was no need.

Except for the biggest need of all, and that was for Noah to hear the truth. That outweighed all of the bad that I knew was waiting for me if I entered that building. I just hoped that my inner divas would be there to back me up. I felt like that would be the time I needed them the most.

Walking into school on Monday morning felt like walking straight into a rip tide just to be pulled down into a shiver of hungry sharks. Judgemental glares burned into my body from every direction while I tried to maintain my posture. My shoulders failed me as they slumped with a defeated slouch. It felt like absolutely everyone knew– or thought they knew– what happened at Prom. Why didn't I just convince myself to stay home?

I felt my pace slow down, but I wasn't necessarily the one in control of my own body. The beginnings of a panic attack started to tickle at the base of my throat, and my stomach clenched. I should have stayed home. I wasn't ready to face anyone, not even the blurred faces of the students that surrounded me. My ears caught their hushed opinions. Slut, they said. Whore. I cringed while the pinpricks of the oncoming attack made its way across my skin. I shut my eyes and turned to leave. Then, I came face to face with Brittany Jenkins.

The whole area quieted as she stood there looking down at me with a perfectly primped appearance, a stark contrast from my own. A frown marred her beautiful face while her hands rested on her hips. I couldn't read her expression, though it had little to do with the blurred vision I had through watered eyes. My breaths were shallow and ragged as I braced myself for an oncoming assault, but nothing could prepare me for what happened next.

Brittany slid her arms around my shoulders and pulled me into a tight embrace, her long red locks hiding both of our faces. I gasped in response, surprised at her action. I wasn't the only one, judging by the responses from the students that had dragged their feet in hopes of witnessing a fight.

"I should have believed you when you warned me the first time," she spoke softly. I was tense beneath her grasp, not really sure I was understanding her words correctly. "But," she continued, "I believe you now, and I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." That was all it took for the tears to silently spill over, and I buried my face into her shoulder. "Don't do that," she warned me gently. "Don't let them see you cry like you did something wrong." I nodded, not lifting my head. She handed me a tissue from her pocket, still shielding me from the onlookers. She lifted her head and sent them away with a glare that only someone of her caliber could.

Once the sea of humanity began to spread, she let go of me. I looked up at her once more. "Thank you," I managed to choke out.

"Better late than never," she responded nonchalantly. "Anyways, you can't go around letting people think that you're weak. That would just be sad. Even for you." I was pretty sure this was her attempt at a pep talk. She was trying, but it was a very non-Brittany thing to do. "Don't think that this means that I like you." Ah. And there was that peachy personality again. I sighed. "But... maybe for today you should stick close to Emma and that drummer kid you like so much."

I know she didn't miss the flash of sadness that crossed my face.

"Go talk to him," she instructed me, somehow knowing the situation without me having to say anything. "If I believe you, he will for sure." Without further ado, she sauntered away. Warmth spread throughout me as I watched her disappear out of sight. I still didn't like Brittany much either, despite her kind gesture, but I liked to think we came to a certain understanding at that moment. It gave me the extra little courage I needed to finally open up to Noah.

The bell rang to indicate that first period was going to start. Noah was standing at the entrance to the locker room in a pair of unassuming light wash jeans and the Acceptance t-shirt Emma had purchased for him for Christmas. My mind wandered back to that time as the mixtape he made for me flashed before my eyes. He'd understand that I did what I had to do, wouldn't he? All I had to do was explain.

I slowed my pace as I approached him, a blank look falling over my face while I studied his appearance. His eyes were weary, dark bags resting beneath his red-rimmed hazel orbs. His hair, usually neatly pulled back, was disheveled around his shoulders and contained more flyaways than usual. He looked like he hadn't slept since Saturday... or showered.

"Hey," I said quietly, but there was no need. We were alone. "Sorry that I couldn't find you sooner," I mumbled while I shuffled my feet. I nervously picked at my fingers to give myself the excuse to not look at him. "I've been trying to avoid the masses. I guess you could say that it has been an interesting morning..." I tried to add humor where there was none.

He didn't bite. His face fell, a mix of anger and pain. It was a look I had never seen on Noah Walker and one I was hoping to never see again. He opened his mouth several times to speak, but each time, closed it once again. He began studying me like he was attempting to form some kind of conclusion. I knew I had to talk to him and get the truth out there before he could come up with the wrong one, but I was just so, so scared. What if, even after I explained, he still rejected me?

"Listen..." I managed to choke out through my raw, aching throat. I took a deep breath. When I spoke, it was calmer. "I know you saw Brock and I leave Prom together..."

"There's nothing to explain, Aria. You don't owe me anything." That was a direct punch to the gut. He used my words that I had spoken to him after he and Quinn kissed that night so very long ago.

I tried to let both the memory and his jab roll off of my shoulders. "But I can explain–"

"Can you?" he asked bitterly, eyes narrowing as he looked over at me in disgust. "So, it's true, then?" His voice was thick with disappointment. "You slept with Brock?" As the words left his mouth, my body went numb. Tears fell from my eyes, soaking my cheeks before I had a chance to clear them. My reaction only served to acerbate Noah more. His fists clenched, and he gritted his teeth. I couldn't deny it, and I couldn't bring myself to move.

"You slept with him," he said with conviction this time. It was no longer a question. Which meant that he already came to his conclusion; and since he already came to his conclusion, that meant the possibility of him rejecting me was right here, right now. The air seemed to rush out of my lungs while my face twisted with worry. It felt like everything I had done to try to prevent him from finding out, everything I had done in order to protect him, and everything I had done to try to fix what happened... it was all for naught.

No. This couldn't be happening. Not like this. Not when we were this close to finally being together.

"Noah, please–" I took a step forward, but he turned away from me.

"You know, I thought you had changed, Aria. I thought that maybe this time around, things would be different. But you left me high and dry. Again. Just like you did back then." He smirked without any humor. "And here I am, still just as obsessed with you as ever."

I felt my eyes watering. "Just let me explain–"

"Explain?!" he asked incredulously, whipping back to face me again. "What could you possibly say– there's no excuse–" He was tripping over the words that he was clearly struggling to find. "How could you?!" His eyes were brimming with tears, too. "With him nonetheless?!"

My own words caught in my throat. I barely was able to whisper a weak "I didn't want to–" before he shrugged me off.

"'Didn't want to' what exactly? Didn't want to hurt me?" he supplied icily. "It's a little too late for that." His voice broke. "I loved you, and you chose him."

My face contorted. That wasn't right. None of this was right! I didn't choose Brock–

Well... the truth was that I did. I did choose Brock in the beginning, before I was forced into getting to know the real Brock, but that was also before I got to learn about the real Noah again. Before I was able to learn that every note, every inflection, every pitch, cadence, and rhythm that I was composed of fit in beautiful harmony with him. Before I was able to learn that I wasn't ready to give up on us and all that we could potentially be. Or how pissed I would get that he would keep misconstruing my words because he wouldn't let me just explain.

I balled my fists at my sides and let out an overly loud, overly annoyed huff. "If you would just shut the hell up and listen to me for a second, I could fix this!"

"There's no fixing what happened," he responded flatly. "You can't 'undo' being with someone. There's no 'do-over'– God! You know something? I guess you were right. Eleventh grade Aria is really just as clueless as sixth grade Aria."

And there it was. What I had been fearing the most since that awful night so long ago. His rejection. As much as I had never wanted what happened to me, as much as I wanted to erase the memory, to wish it away or pray that that night would somehow disappear and never see the light of day again... Noah was right. There were no undoes or do-overs, even if it wasn't consensual.

"I don't even know who you are anymore, and I'm not sure that I want to, either."

I wasn't perfect.

"This is over. Whatever this was between us– it's officially over. I'm leaving for camp, and we won't have to see each other until next school year. Have a good summer, Aria."

And I didn't deserve all of the good things in this world, either.

The bell rang, but my feet were rooted to the floor. People began filling the hallways, weaving their way around my unmoving body. A few bumped into me, but I didn't react. I stood unable to process the fact that Noah Walker had turned on his heel and stomped out of my life for good.

Hands gripping my upper arms and physically moving me forward snapped me out of my temporary haze. "Come on, sunshine," Kody's voice echoed through the bustling. "There is no reason for you to be here today. Let's get out of here."

We snuck down the band hallway to a back door where Emma sat in the driver's seat of her car, waiting for us to make a break. "Found her!" Kody announced before he gently shoved me into the back seat and got in behind me.

"What's going on?" I asked softly. My voice didn't sound like my own. It sounded hollow, devoid of any emotion.

"We're skipping school," Kody supplied easily. As much as I didn't want to be there, a part of me was surprised that Emma and Kody would do this. "It's the last week, Aria. No one cares if we're there."

It was Emma that responded with the real reason. "When it was just me and Kody that showed up to gym class, we kind of put two and two together." She stared at me through the rearview mirror. "My dad isn't home. We need pancakes, and we need them stat. I even got chocolate chips. I know they're your favorite."

"Noah hates me," was all I could respond to her with. Tears ran down my cheeks again before I could stop them.

"He doesn't hate you," Kody explained. "He's just upset right now."

"He wouldn't even let me explain," I cried. Kody put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

Emma's face fell. Clearly she hadn't expected things to turn out this way. "This summer will give you both time to cool off and for things to settle down. Then maybe he'll listen."

"Maybe," I muttered, watching the trees whiz past in a blur while we drove. Although my soul was crushed into a million pieces, I was grateful to have friends who would help me find them and put them back together. It might take days or several weeks. A few months, even. It was hard to tell how long I would need to put the puzzle back together, especially when the biggest piece just walked away.

Noah...

I closed my eyes. In my mind, I pictured him driving off to camp, hair blowing in the breeze and listening to a mixtape of songs he put together just for the occasion. Songs that would ease the hurt and help him begin the journey of becoming the best version of Noah he could be. I only hoped that the new Noah might someday give me a chance to make everything right.

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⭐ Now, you guys HAD to know that we would be leaving you on a cliffhanger, right? Sorry, not sorry 😏 It's only Volume I, after all! But perhaps, there may just be one last track. Hit the STAR and we'll just have to see what happens!