🎵 "Breathing" - Lifehouse

🎵 "Ms. Jackson" - Outkast

🎵 "Cling and Clatter" - Lifehouse

🎵 "Only One" - Lifehouse

🎵 "Hanging by a Moment" - Lifehouse

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TRACK #10 - WINTER

"Breathing" - Lifehouse

Valentine's Day was not, by any means, my favorite holiday. On the road, no one ever knew what day it was, let alone if it was a day that was supposed to celebrate the glory of love. Seeing Valentine's Day in high school was a whole new circus. People were dressed to the nines in red and pink. They carried bouquets of flowers and stuffed animals larger than human beings around the crowded hallways. If anything, it was more of a show of status than an actual celebration. I thought it best to simply not bank on much from the day, and then anything would be better than I expected. Here's to hoping.

My plan was working perfectly until the afternoon when I sat working on a Chemistry project with Emma. In the door frame of the classroom stood several student government volunteers holding roses with a list of names. I recognized this as the delivery for the fundraiser they had been holding all week in the cafeteria. A yellow rose stood for friendship, pink for a crush, and red for love. You could send a rose to anyone for a fee. I wasn't expecting anything for myself, but I did send a yellow rose to Emma.

"Emma Stewart," one of the volunteers holding the clipboard of names called. A few students whistled, and we all let out a laugh to break the ice. Emma stood to gather her roses. Two red. One yellow.

"Who are they from?" I whispered when she sat next to me.

"You, dork!" she giggled. "Also Elijah and..." As she searched the third rose for a name on the card, her forehead wrinkled slightly. "Umm... it just says, 'Anonymous.'"

"Maybe it's Elijah trying to keep the mystery alive," I joked, which only brought a half-hearted smile to her face.

"I'll take anything and everything I can get before he leaves for college," she responded absent-mindedly while more names were read and flowers delivered. I frowned. Though their relationship was as strong as ever, I knew that Emma had concerns about what was going to happen once Elijah graduated. He had finally decided to attend the University of Pennsylvania, about five hours away. There were no plans of them breaking up by any means, but I could understand why she was worried. I was trying to rack my brain for some kind of comforting words, when–

"Aria Gray!" My head snapped up in surprise. What? I gulped loudly and slowly rose from my seat. The class let out a collective "Ooo" as I made my way towards the door. Soon, I was being handed flowers. One yellow. One pink. One... dozen red?

"Are you sure these are all for me?" My eyes narrowed at the dozen roses I was being handed.

"Aria Gray?" the volunteer asked, nodding in confirmation after she checked the list again. "Yep! Happy Valentine's Day!"

I couldn't even bring myself to respond or wipe the confusion from my face before taking my seat next to Emma. I inspected the cards. The single yellow rose was from her. I gave her a side eye, and she laughed in return. Leaning closer to me, she read the cards with me.

The single pink rose was from "Anonymous," but I had a sneaking suspicion who it was from. It read:

What am I supposed to write on these things? I swear I will be getting you something way better than this for Valentine's Day, but I didn't want you to feel left out. Also, the pink looked better than the red, so maybe don't read too much into that. Or any of this.

My cheeks flushed while my heart soared. Noah. What a nerd. An adorable nerd.

The dozen red roses had a cryptic message on the small accompanying card.

Aria:

Hoping someday you'll change your mind. Maybe these will help.

I slowly trailed my eyes over to Emma as I gave her a better look at the card. "This... probably isn't from Noah, right? I mean why would he send a single and then a dozen with a weird message?" I asked rhetorically.

Emma's eyes narrowed as she read the message to herself again. She grimaced. "That seems like Brock..."

My stomach dropped while I eyed the roses. "Hoping someday you'll change your mind." It all made sense now. I suddenly wanted to vomit.

After the bell rang, Emma and I made our way to the hallway, where an excited pair of Walker brothers stood, each holding a single ticket.

"Happy Valentine's Day," Noah held the ticket out to me. I stared at it a few times before it finally registered. Lifehouse. Tonight.

"Oh! Oh my God!" I squealed before jumping up and down and finally embracing him in a tight hug. Emma was concocting a similar display beside me. I looked up at Noah, who I thought would be smiling, but I was surprised to see his face twisted in confusion. He stared blankly at my bouquet of roses.

"Oh, these..." I searched for the right words. "Someone sent them anonymously. I guess it wasn't you?" I tried to play dumb. It was my only hope.

With a deep sigh, Noah shook his head. "Well, this is just great," he huffed with a roll of his eyes. Noah didn't get angry often, but when he did, he certainly didn't know how to hide it. "You try to do something nice and then just get outdone by some anonymous douchebag."

My shoulders fell while I tried to think of the right thing to say, though words weren't coming easily. The bell was going to ring, and the halls were beginning to clear. Emma shot me a sympathetic glance before heading off with Elijah. I turned back to Noah. "Look, if they weren't from you, it doesn't matter who sent them," I tried reasoning evenly, though Noah was clearly uninterested in dropping the subject.

"It does matter," Noah said sternly, louder than I would have liked, even though the halls had all but cleared. His face was hot.

I huffed deeply, unable to maintain my patience any longer. I felt my temples ache as I snipped back at him. "It really doesn't matter if you're the only one in this building that I want!" The words came out before I could stop them, and I felt my blood boil as I added an unnecessary, "Idiot."

Noah stood dumbfounded before me looking like a deer in headlights. UGH! I needed a break. I pivoted on my heel and clumsily stomped down the hallway before making a dramatic display of dumping all twelve red roses in a big, industrial-sized trash can.

I was most of the way to the lobby when I could hear Noah jogging behind me, calling my name. Once I got there, I stopped and turned to face him.

"That's not–" he started to speak, though he hesitated as he searched for the right words. He let out a soft sigh and leaned into me, putting his hands on my waist to pull me into him. I flushed at the warmth that spread throughout my body while his eyes searched mine. "I'm sorry that I got all worked up over some stupid roses. You're right, it doesn't matter." His lips remained parted, so I knew he wasn't done speaking yet. I tried to give him space to finish. "I know this isn't the time or place for this, but... I like you, Aria, and I think you like me. I'd just like a chance to see where this goes."

Did he just–? Are we–? A wide smile blossomed across my face. "I'd like that, too," I blushed. Brock's face flashed in front of my eyes, and I searched the tile floor for words I couldn't seem to find. I took a deep breath. No. He is not going to take this from me. Like Emma said, Brock did not get to hold my happiness hostage. I finally looked up, hesitant. "I just... I need to go slow, okay?"

"Slow would be perfect," he smiled before pulling me into a hug. I breathed him in, his scent pleasantly filling my head, his presence filling my heart. For the first time in a long time, everything in the world felt right.

"Ms. Gray, Mr. Walker... get to class," Mrs. Taylor warned as she clicked past us with heavy heels. We stifled chuckles and shot each other amusing glances before parting ways. If I hadn't been in my blissful oblivion, I might have noticed the very real, very evil stare of a jealous Brock Miller.

But it was that blissful oblivion that carried me through to later that evening. In my bedroom, I excitedly got ready for the concert, humming the songs of my favorite band while spinning on my toes.

"Aria!" My mom knocked gently on my door and poked her head in after I told her to come in. "I have something you might like!" She beamed as she fully entered the room and presented a slightly worn black leather jacket. "It was mine when I was in high school."

"Oh, that's so cool!" I exclaimed before hopping off of my bed to try it on. It fit me perfectly. "I can wear it?" I asked hopefully, turning back and forth in the mirror to examine it.

"You can have it," she smiled while she looked me over in her jacket. "I have some great memories in that thing. I hope you make some as well."

"Aw, thanks, Mom!" I threw my arms around her for a long hug. "I can't wait to wear it to the concert tonight."

She smirked at me knowingly before kissing my forehead. "I suppose it will keep you warm enough. Though I guess Noah can help if it doesn't."

My jaw dropped, and a blush spread across my whole face. "MOM!" I scolded as she laughed.

After changing my outfit several times and successfully emptying the contents of my dresser and closet all over my bedroom floor, I decided on a pair of black tights and a stretchy denim skirt that was a little tighter than I normally wore. I found the Lifehouse shirt Noah had said I could keep and tied the back of it so that it would fit me better than it usually did when I wore it to bed. I curled my hair and added more eyeliner than usual to the rims of my eyes. With the new-to-me jacket and my Doc Martens on, I definitely felt concert-ready.

I heard Elijah's car horn just as I had finished finding my black clutch and filling it with my essentials. I said goodbye to my parents and greeted everyone while I slid into the backseat next to Noah. Emma was up front with Elijah as he drove.

"Holy hotness," Emma looked me over, raising her eyebrows at me, which made me laugh. I realized we both went for a dramatic look.

"Nice shirt," Noah smirked slightly, but I could instantly tell something was wrong.

"Good Will," I joked, trying to cheer him up. He rolled his eyes, and I smiled at him. "You okay?"

"Headache," came his short reply. I immediately reached for the spare ibuprofen that I kept in my clutch. Once I located it, I flashed it in his direction. His eyes lit up, and he quickly kissed my cheek while grabbing it. "You're a lifesaver," he commented, completely unaware of how red my face had turned.

"Oh, uh– heh, heh..." I stammered before looking out the window. "Sure, no problem..."

"What are we in the mood for?!" Emma asked excitedly while her finger pressed the scan button multiple times on the radio, trying to land on a good song. I noticed that hers and Elijah's hands sat intertwined on top of the center console.

Noah scoffed. "By 'we' do you mean 'you'?" he asked. "It's not like you ever listen to anything any of us want to–"

"Ms. Jackson" by Outkast came on, and I jumped up with a quick, "That one!" Emma sat back in her seat, a smile playing on her lips as she looked over at Noah with a pointed look.

"You're supposed to be on my side, Gray," he playfully chastised. He looked back up at Emma and added, "Well played."

We sang along while the car whizzed us to the concert. I felt on top of the world.

The line to enter the concert weaved around the long city block. People of all shapes, sizes, colors, and creeds looped around the building, waiting their turn to enter the small venue. The four of us walked in silence to the end of the line, moving slowly as it inched towards the door. I secretly envied Emma as she buried herself under Elijah's coat, arms around his waist while he cradled her back. I felt a shiver down my spine, only now regretting my wardrobe choices this evening.

Without hesitation, Noah raised his eyebrow to me. "You need this?" He tugged at the edge of his own coat to offer it to me. My mom's words immediately came to mind, and I cleared my throat as I blushed. My heart sank at his usual generosity, but I shook my head. I noticed he was wearing nice jeans and a black v-neck sweater underneath his coat, which was a far departure from his usual t-shirt.

The building was an older concert venue with standing room only. The floors were made of a dingy hardwood that led to a dark lobby. Merchandise booths filled the area, and people lined up to purchase items. "Want anything?" Noah asked, nodding towards the line for Lifehouse gear. I shook my head and pointed to the shirt I was already wearing, which made him laugh. We picked up our steps for a few paces to catch up with Elijah and Emma. People were already crowding the stage, squeezing in to get the best spot to see the show.

"Hey! Smile!" Emma quickly turned to Noah and I with a disposable camera. He pulled me closer to him, catching me off guard, though I was able to muster a smile before the flash went off. "Hold on," she instructed, then sweetly asked a stranger to take a picture of the four of us. We linked arms around our backs and shoulders before smiling for the picture.

"You can tell this is her first concert," Noah whispered playfully about Emma. I smiled sheepishly knowing I had been to several, but this was my first without my parents. "There are very few perks to having an older brother," he continued. "One is that we've been doing this for about a year now."

Elijah turned his head to give Noah a warning glance. "The perks will become fewer if you are no longer appreciative." Noah and I both snickered at his stern attempt. We all knew that it was an empty threat.

The lights dimmed as the opening band came on stage. It wasn't a band I recognized, but I enjoyed listening and swaying along to the songs. Noah seemed to know many of them and sang along as they played. He offered to burn me their songs to CD.

"That'd be awesome," I said just when the lights came on again so the stage could be prepared for the main act. "Ahhh, I'm so excited!" I grabbed Noah's jacket sleeve and jumped up and down. He looked down at me with a smirk before we could all feel ourselves being pushed forward as the back of the crowd attempted to get closer to the stage. My soft grasp on Noah's arm instantly turned to a firm grip; I was frightened by the fact that I was being moved against my will.

"Don't worry. I won't let anyone hurt you," he said quietly, and the lights dimmed once more. My breath caught in my throat as I looked up at him, his eyes searching mine. Screams from the crowd broke our trance when the guitar trill for "Cling and Clatter" blared from the speakers. Noah and I both sang along once the lyrics started, and even though it was extremely loud, I found it hard not to concentrate on the fact that once again our voices harmonized beautifully.

The thought stayed with me through each song the band played. Noah and I both knew every word to every track. Emma and Elijah stood next to us, Elijah standing behind her with his arms protectively around her as they both swayed and enjoyed the music.

When "Only One" began, I looked up at Noah with a genuine smile. "This one is my favorite."

His lips curved upwards. "Really?" I nodded and closed my eyes, getting lost in the music. The band played for over an hour, but it felt like two minutes. When the lights came on again, some people started making their way out of the venue, but many stayed put. "They'll do an encore," Noah said confidently. "They haven't even played 'Hanging by a Moment' yet, and that's their main single."

Emma breathed an audible sigh of relief. "I was wondering why I hadn't heard it yet!" Noah and I both looked at her and laughed.

The band returned as the lights lowered one last time. They opened with "Breathing." I slowly turned my eyes up to Noah, remembering that this was the track he put on my Secret Santa mix. A knowing smile spread across his face, but he kept his eyes fixed on the band. We both sang along at the chorus. It felt surreal listening to the song live and singing it next to Noah, since I had listened to it on repeat like a gazillion times on the CD he made for me.

The song came to a close, and I sighed, truly not wanting the concert to end. No sooner did I think that when the familiar opening riff of "Hanging by a Moment" rang over the crowd to an echo of screams. Emma turned her head to look up at Elijah with a smirk on her lips. He leaned down to plant his own lips on hers, and soon they were making out to the backdrop of the song.

I covered my eyes, giggling wildly, and turned my head, which ended up buried in Noah's shoulder due to the close proximity. I could feel his cringe. "It's like watching old people." We both roared with laughter when Elijah reached his arm around me to punch Noah in the shoulder. "What? She started it," he shot back, pointing to me. My mouth dropped at the accusation even though I was still chuckling. We all shrugged it off and watched the rest of the show. I screamed as it ended, hands up in the air clapping.

The car ride home was fairly quiet while we listened to the radio and let the concert high slowly wear down. I leaned my head against the window, watching the trees pass by on the highway as I soaked in what a beautiful, unforgettable night it had been. We pulled into my driveway just before midnight.

"Thank you guys so much for inviting me," I said, and I picked up my clutch to exit the car. "I had the best time."

"You're welcome," Elijah responded in a hushed tone. I glanced at Noah and noticed he was in a deep sleep. My lips curved into a smile. I said goodbye to Emma and Elijah, then I slipped out of the car quietly, trying to close the door with as minimal sound as possible so as not to disturb Noah.

I got ready for bed and turned on my CD player. My Secret Santa mix played softly in the background, which only served to steer my thoughts to Noah. I kept reliving the perfect night that tonight was in my mind. When I closed my eyes, all I could see was him. A sigh escaped me while I pictured him sleeping soundly in the back of the car. I thought about how he told me he would protect me when the crowd shifted, his eyes when he looked at me during "Only One," and how we sang along together to "Breathing," which I knew was coming up on my mix soon. I snuggled into my bed as I thought about this feeling, and I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I was truly happy.

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⭐ Seems like Aria has a new reason to love Valentine's Day again! Don't forget to click on that STAR so that your girls feel the love, too 🥰