The wind brings so many scents to me. But none of them are able to give me the undeniable joy that I felt seven years ago. 

Her pack must have welcomed new brides this year too, unlike ours. One of her friends must have found her mate and left for his pack. Doesn't watching them makes her wonder about her mate? Doesn't she feel the urge to look for me? 

Bad thoughts circulates in my mind these days. What if her wolf has gotten weak? What if she now lives far away to ever discover me?

I gulp the rest of the wine in the glass and look around at the people celebrating.

The pups will shift next year. The one who didn't find their mates last year, waited this year too. King returned alone with Virion and Anton.

Adam thinks he will find his mate sooner than mine just like Anton. Oskar chooses to leave it on the fate. It doesn't stop him from enjoying the feasts and bonfires. Lysar has joined the group too and I almost lost my will to worship Moon Goddess.

She didn't trouble King like the rest of brothers and sisters. But that doesn't mean he was content. She isn't giving him an heir either.

My whole anger releases out on the hunt. The brothers notice it. None of them says any hopeful word anymore to my relief. I don't want any false hopes.

I think of giving up. I imagine myself running away to an uninhabited jungle just like father did without his mate.

But a sudden spark always ignites my heart and warms me up. It tells me to not lose my faith.

Tomorrow. Some day. One day.

She will be here, with me.

A hand comes in my sight from nowhere. I almost loses my breaths.

The scent is full of roses and incense. I take a sniff, follow the pale arm up to look at the dancer.

She isn't the female I have been thinking of.

The dancer doesn't blink and sends a small seductive smile to me.

I want to look away and shake my head so she can get the sign. I have no reasons to celebrate tonight.

My lips part to say a word. But nothing comes out.

Her eyes are of the color of fresh new leaves of a plant. Like the color of the stone staying low under the crystal clear lake. The kohl makes her orbs more light.

She snakes her hand into mine and tugs.

The glass slips from my hand. Before I could even take note of the numbness in my body, she pulls me more into the dancing crowd.

The smell of sweat and wine lingers around my nose. But her scent is too rich to break my trance. I follow and she doesn't turn around to show me her back. She leads while looking at me only.

The beast inside roars. Something stings beneath my eyebrows.

Her soft hand pulls me to one of the secluded tents.

She pushes me on the furs.

It is too dark to enjoy the rich colors. My head feels heavy.

I squint my eyes and try to look.

The sound of clothes dropping on the floor reaches my ears.

It brings unease to my stomach.

She is not my mate, I tell myself.

Her one hand reaches for the laces of the breeches while other pushes my chest to make me fall back fully and stare up in trance.

I blink and try to raise my head. But I fail.

My eyes closes forcefully. A loud groan escapes from me.

The voice comes, "I am here to give back what I took."

Another groan follows and she leans over. Her breath fans my ear.

"After I take what I couldn't before."

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I stumbled upon my way to the room.

A shiver began from my feet to snake up to my spine and raise the hair on the back of my neck.

I gasped in disbelief.

"I packed this for Keev," came Emily's voice from behind.

My feet stopped and I heard his low hum of gratitude.

Something curled up inside my chest.

Here, I thought that I would display my anger and hurt by thanking Amelia for the meal and just leave without talking or looking at him. I walked out of her house and decided to go straight to the room, expecting him to come and make a talk.

Even a taunt would have been fair. I would have known that he was as affected by what happened the rainy night, if not simply guilty about marking me brutally.

But neither was he coming after me to confront, nor was he staying here. He was going away just like that.

What if he too was lost in all my memories like I was in his? What if his mind too was occupied with thousands of thoughts and didn't know where to even begin while talking to me? Because I was feeling the same.

But my life wasn't as scary as his had been. He witnessed deaths of his loved ones, had to walk on his brothers' footsteps from the childhood, faced winters without much food, survived floods, suffered loneliness while growing up, lost his parents at the time he needed them the most and the sorrows didn't just end there.

He wasn't showing it at the table. But his very act of trying to look calm and composed was now slowly making sense. Maybe, he was waiting for me to show my reactions of his memories. Or he was letting us both take our time before we could release our anger on each other and worsen this crisis.

My list of accusations was so long, I wanted to just turn around, rip my hair, hit him and scream justice on his face.

But I also felt exhausted.

He showed after so long and fighting with him at this time when Keev was waiting for him, wasn't right. During the dinner, he talked to his brothers, replied to his nieces like a sweet family man. It was hurting every inch of my heart that he didn't try to talk to me. He didn't even ask about the mark that he gave me or the brutal heat that was the cause of my failure.

"Keep him covered with furs," said Emily, her voice fading in the street as I kept walking towards the room slowly with a heavy heart.

His chuckle was heard and I bit my lip in emptiness.

It wasn't his fault that we ended up being mates.

I was the one wrong at expecting ideal human morals from the prideful Lycans here. It was the way they lived. Bringing brides, marking and mating them to keep the pack growing. They were predators, rigid with their traditional beliefs, putting the welfare of the pack over anything.

I was fortunate enough to get Karam, a thoughtful one and that even one of the Alpha brothers. I couldn't even imagine myself living like Alvena or worse, Chelsea.

Karam had been trying to find the middle ground, keeping his Lycan nature at hold to give in to my tantrums. I didn't need to see his memories to grasp how much he valued me as his mate. He tried to make efforts in the ways he could and it all made me overestimate his will to control his writhing beast.

I took his cooperation for granted and forced him to choose the barbaric way to turn into the beast and mark me in front of everyone.

We were good before the arrival of mystic dancers. I remembered leaving the room only to visit Eva. The thought of running away appeared in my mind when she told me the plan and gave confidence.

Amelia said that I wasn't the first one to do it. That they all knew this would happen sooner or later. Every bride here had tried to run away and they would not be bitter to me about it.

But I did not just try to run away. I had cried for death rather than going back to him. I didn't have to justify to anyone that I was try to cross the border, not because I was sick of Karam. But because there was a beautiful world waiting for me. Gran was waiting for me.

I did nothing wrong. But I made him helpless to do the wrong.

I didn't know if I should be angry or guilty or just give in to what fate had chosen for me.

Uncle Joran and his sons indirectly expressed that they had nothing to do with me. When I couldn't cross the border, there was no hope left to ever meet Gilbert and the family.

So wasn't giving in to this life with Karam and his family left for me?

The sound of door closing reached my ears. As if Emily had gone inside and he had left too.

I wiped the tears collecting at the corner of my eyes and let out a long breath.

At least, Keev was at a safer place than here in the house with Amelia in it. I took his responsibility and decided to leave him be.

Karam took him away from Amelia's yesterday only when I had healed enough to walk around. They all were trying to answer me softly that he'd bring him back when my neck would heal properly. But their eyes were saying something else. As if pulling out of responsibility had me undeserving of taking his care anymore.

I bit my trembling lip and gulped hard.

At least, he was safe with his father at this cold night, away from Amelia and Nysa whom I still didn't trust heartily.

It would sound meaningless after what I did.

But I really missed the little pup.

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"A bastard! It is a slap on the faces of us females who do so much for loyal mates! We bear pups! The pain! The stillborns! The loss! The females here try everything to make this pack full of prosperity! And then comes this bastard to ruin it all!"

The growl erupts from me and it makes the Luna furious.

"He is my blood," I tell her.

The rain is lighter today. But the thunder still occurs as lightning strikes high up in the sky.

A day has passed since the last night when Lucine filled my arms with the little Lycan that is mine only. It doesn't soak in my mind how this could even happen when I don't even remember what had happened.

All I remember was her mischievous eyes. King told me that they have killed her. I wished to kill her myself.

I, with all of my heart, know that I never wanted to touch anyone other than my mate.

"He is a gift from Moon Goddess," Lucine had said with a smile that she wouldn't offer me any other day. I wonder what purpose has been fulfilled by breaking my honor like this.

Amelia cares but her beast of a Luna overpowers all her emotions. Her eyes fill up. She doesn't like fighting with me, or any of the brothers. She has raised us along with our mother.

"You can give us an heir," says Amelia while King blinks in tiredness from the madness that has unfolded this day.

The brides have been mad about the presence of my pup. They hate an innocent little Lycan who has no mother but only me, his father. They wish to kill him and it sickens my mind. It makes me so mad I wish to forget all the blood relations and choose wrath.

"The true Alpha comes from the mate that Moon Goddess chooses," she says loudly for me to hear. "Your mate will never welcome him! She will be upset! Kill him! And it all will only delay the birth of our next Alpha!"

"I'll kill him!" Amelia growls when I blink through the tears and look down at the dear pup in my arms. He looks at me in wonder. His curious gaze reminds me of myself.

Aunt Rose said that he is truly mine. He looks like me when I was a little pup. The amber orbs makes me feel as if I am looking into a mirror.

When I held him for the first time last night and took a long sniff into his neck, he reminded me of my mate.

His scent was accompanied by the smell of petroleum too.

If that wasn't a sign, then what will be.

I did not lust for any female. She will believe me if I tell her the truth. I will tell her that I will forever be ashamed that something useless as that night had happened.

But it was hard to expect her mercy for the pup. Any scratch on me will unleash the beast inside me. He is mine and no one harms what's mine.

This innocent soul shall not be blamed for what his birth giver did.

"I dare you," I say while bending my knee in front of the Luna, looking up at her with blankness in my eyes. "You will have to face me first."

"Karam!" King growls and glares at the back of his mate. "Enough! No one is harming anyone!"

"This bastard must not be in my sight. I swear, I will rip him into shreds if his scent revolves around my people. He is not welcomed here!" Amelia screams and spits on the ground. "Take him away! To the far jungles! If I smell him, I'll hurt him! Hide him! This piece of disgust-"

I let out a growl and tell her. "Then I leave this village! This family!"

"No!" Tara comes out of the house.

Amelia has warned everyone to choose their sides. Whoever chooses to defend my pup's existence will be taken care of, she had threatened.

No one chose to interfere and I couldn't blame them. All the brothers were only saving all of us from more madness.

I couldn't justify my actions. I was drowned in shame. It was hard to accept that I had disappointed my own self.

"No one is concerned when he says, the mystic did something to him. He doesn't remember anything," says Tara while looking at the couple, especially Amelia. "Why you allow the mystics in here when you don't like bastards? Of all, you are the most desperate for a heir. Our pack suffers deaths of male pups every time. We should welcome this one with loud cheers and thousands of prayers to thank the Goddess. The pup has nothing to be blamed for."

Amelia growls in warning.

"If he leaves, I leave too." Tara mumbles while coming closer to me. I turn around with tears in my eyes. My claws were out and I pull them back, holding the little one close to my chest.

"You tended to all of their pups. When you have yours now, they have turned their backs and wants to kill him." Tara says while walking along with me. "Shallow pride. Shallow hearts. Such a Luna!"

I stare ahead at the mountains and wonder how I failed to protect the people I love.

Miggy, Mother, father.

Tara and Lysar.

Now, my own pup.

Where did I go wrong? I couldn't understand.

But now saying all that, feels wrong. My pup has come into this world and there is no going back from this moment. Only ahead.

He is a part of my heart now. The beast feels protective of him.

The heart inside my chest swells when the little Lycan takes small breaths.

"Stop!"

I don't want to.

My heart is broken and I accept the hatred. I might deserve it for not being careful enough that night.

"I am not discarding you," yells Amelia. She is crying. "Tara says the truth. You have saved my pups. My own life, Karam. You are as dear to me as my own pups are. How am I going to face your mother at the moon if you leave us like this?"

Tara turns around, while I feel a tear slide down my cheek.

"Keep him somewhere away from our village. Come back without his scent. Visit him whenever you want. Nothing else has changed. Come home," says Amelia, and lets out a sob. "What I ask for will keep your mate's heart too? Think it for her. Think of her and imagine how she will feel. She will want to harm the pup too. It is better to keep him away."

I nodded curtly. "You won't see him again."

Amelia sobs.

"Tara come back," King yells worriedly. Last night, he has reached the temple for her sake. We all know what happened.

Tara is not well.

She has lost her mate. The Severans discarded her. Lucine would not accept her back. Not that Tara wants to go back.

"Do not worry about me," she tells our eldest brother. "I am not going to that joke of a temple again. We will stay at the cottage that father built. He surely knew that Amelia will lose her mind in the future. If brother's mate will not accept him, the little one should be free of worries. Aunt Tara will take care of him."

I will take her to the mystic border, I promise myself.

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"What do you think?"

Please vote and comment.

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These chapters were hard to write. It gets difficult when you have a lot to write. But you don't know where to begin and how to brief it and yet express it as much you as can.

I literally had to listen to songs, take time and think from Misty's side intensely while shaping our behavior at this point of her life. I hope, her behavior is making sense to what she is dealing with. Same goes with her understanding Karam from her point of view. Even though, she has almost been in his head but only upto the moment of marking. After that, Karam is still as mysterious as he was before, also with the addition of Misty's conscious/subconscious memories in his mind.

We are almost done with the memories. Now, there will be what I'll say the series of few chapters to, you know, the end of the book.

Let's enjoy it the most.
And even shy readers, please comment. Even an emo will be the most for me.

Thank you all for the wait.

Swipe for next chapter.