"She'll come around."

For the first time, I hear his heart skipping a beat. Brother Salome barely lies. But when he worries, he chooses hope over truth.

I shake my head.

"Three days are enough to understand it," I say while gulping hard. My heart shakes as I tell him, "From the very full moon night, I have been looking for her. There is no scent like such. The kind of one. . ."

Salome looks at me. I don't. He'll see the pain easily. My heartbeats are rising with each blink.

". . . the one that makes you forget everything and you just know that it is her." He completes it for me.

Nothing like this happened when I smelled the scents of all eligible unmated females for me around the pack.

"Every part of the forests here, every mountain, every house." I speak lowly.

Salome is not ready to give up in making me feel better. "Sometimes, we are too eager to look in the eye patiently and feel it."

I shake my head again.

"I wasn't eager, brother. I was patient while sniffing in to their scents. I am being patient. But I am restless too." I tell him the truth that I find hard to share with King and Robin.

I will always be the younger pup to them. They will not keep it serious and try to cheer me up by making it funny.

Not finding my mate after the first shift is not funny.

"What if she. . ." The breathes leave my chest. ". . . what if she is from outside the border?"

He sighs. He knows.

I blink in disappointment at the Moon Goddess.

My eyes move up to look far at her shining above the mountains. Why would she do it to me?

Miggy was gone. With her, Mother's liveliness has gone too. Because of Mother, Father has stopped being enthusiastic too. Every month we have been burying the stillborn pups. Most of them being males.

It's hard to celebrate even a moment of happiness.

I was wrong at thinking that my first shift would bring a smile to father's face. He was only proud. But it felt too hard for him to celebrate it in the same way he did for King and Robin. Those were old times. The good times.

It is only Lysar, Tara and her grand pups who make Mother look forward to next day. How would I look into her blank eyes after she'd know that my mate will be a foreigner too? I will have to force her into getting caged in my world too.

I'd have to make my mate give up her world for me because of the border. I'd have to see her suffer the same ordeal that mother and Nysa went through all these years and it was still going on.

"Doesn't that make life more adventurous?" Salome says with a smile and a pat on my shoulder. "Loosen those jaws. This is nothing to be angry or disappointed about. How many new things there would be to learn from a foreigner?"

My head lowers with his each word. Did I check every house? Every part of the valley? Did I look for her in the caves? I did. I did.

"Nysa always has so many stories to tell from her pack. The way her words thicken in anger, fascinates us. Natasha loves it when Nysa puts ribbons in her braids. Aunts says that your mother taught the pack to discard sacrifices and instead hunt only on the times when the beast demands it. Your mother's dishes are being passed on to next generations of the families of this pack."

"But she hates it here." I tell him the truth. "She never saw her parents after the bond. Nysa cries sometimes, trying to remember the name of her cousin. The more she learns from here, the more she forgets her old pack and feels sad about it. I'd break if I see my mate go through that. . ."

I myself would want to know who birthed her, who she grew up with, what place she lived in, what sceneries she watched while growing up. I would want to meet those wolves and try to know about her more from them.

Salome takes a long breath.

Does he understand my situation? Natasha's family stays here on this land only. She can smell their scents and visit them secretly without letting father know. She would be aware of their health and whereabouts, because of them living on the same land. She won't have to live with the pain of not seeing them again or being too far away.

If Uncles hadn't been so bitter, Salome has been ready to treat her family as his too.

But it would be worse if my mate is not from this land.

I blink while imagining all of it.

"I know every female here. Their faces. Their names. We are familiar. It is easy to understand someone who was born on the same land. How would I make her fall for me when she'd hate me at the first sight? Don't your remember, brother? The way Nysa seethed in her early days here. She said that the females outside the border don't even think of the males here. It is their helplessness and devotion to the Moon Goddess to accept their mates."

Salome squeezes my shoulder. "She speaks what she has been taught and learnt all her life. The packs outside the border despise us and why won't they? Their brothers couldn't return to them. The females couldn't return to them. What Ronyn did it to Rucus is the root of all. . ." He stops himself.

The gust of wind fans our faces. Sitting on porch of the empty stable, we stare high at the mountains and enjoy the night sky. The wind is loud.

I wonder if the wind that is fanning me, will fan her on the way too.

I couldn't believe I had checked the scents of Severans too. Sister Lucine wasn't happy that I doubted her friends. But I didn't want to stay in doubt.

For a moment, I was scared if it was Rosetta because of the way she has always behaved as if she was drawn to me for some reason. The thought itself had churned my stomach. I was grateful the moment she walked down the path of the temple with hopeful smile only to clench her jaws in disappointment.

Strangely, I was thankful. She was not the ideal female I dream of.

How would my mate be like? I wonder these days. How different she must be? Is she innocent or naughty? What color her eyes are? How must be her voice?

I wonder if I even deserve her. She must be like someone I could never think of. I just feel it in my bones.

She will be beyond my imaginations.

This restlessness has started to deepen inside my heart. Will I even be able to wait for the Ceremony that is still few months away?

I will have to be patient. Very patient.

The rest of the Severans did no difference. I feel doubtless while thinking about it.

My mate is not here on this territory.

I wonder if I am confused too. I can not be. No other brother was. This is a secret problem with females only. More like a curse inherited from Severa herself.

"The border plays a big role in the bond between a foreign bride and Lycan here," says Salome with a hum. "But if you stay the lover you have always manifested to be, her heart will melt. Which pack? Which bloodline? It won't matter. She will be grateful to Moon Goddess for choosing you for her just as you will be for choosing her for you."

I suck in a heavy breath.

"Will she be there at Ceremony night? King won't take me with him. Would he?" I gulp.

"You can roam around the border. I'll accompany you," he says. "Anton has been bugging me too. He thinks he can find her before his shift. Fool. I will take you both. Only at the word that you both would be obedient."

I look at him immediately and nod eagerly.

He chuckles while looking in my eyes. "If you find a scent and recognise her, it is done. King will bring her to you on the Ceremony night."

My heart sways. My stomach flips.

"Robin found Nysa on the first round only." He says, making me let out a breath.

"Tomorrow." I tell him.

Salome holds my hand with a sincere look in his eyes. "But you also have to be worthy of her. Prey and bring your first kill. Be the Lycan you are meant to be. Improve yourself. You'll be her protector, her saviour. Make home for her. You still live on that old grandfather's cot at the corner of elder brothers' old room with Lysar."

I sigh. That cot has been with me my whole life.

"You have gotten bigger. You will break it soon anyway." He laughs. "Lastly, be sincere, Karam. She won't like it if she sees you peeking at other females during the marking. Remember what Nysa did to that female who was mad in love with Robin."

I gulp hard.

It won't be that difficult for me.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I turned my head to look towards the table near the wall.

Amelia had finished changing the wrap around my cloth. But she hadn't left.

"You won't even ask me where Keev is?" She had been mocking like this to make me speak.

I had been playing tough. Actually, I had no energy left to even look at her and show my anger.

I was full of grief at the loss of my freedom. The reality was sinking in by each passing moment.

The more I was seeing his memories, the more I was realising that I would be here only for the rest of my life.

It was the time between morning and noon. The sunlight had lit the whole room with enough light. But with the closed door, the faint privacy was the only solace in the midst of the loud noises of working Lycans around the valley.

The curtains were tied tight around the pillars of the bed. The bathroom and washroom were clean when I had used them in the morning. I didn't know who was cleaning them regularly while I was sleeping.

There was no sign of him though. Neither his boots, nor his clothes were in sight.

Even the fruits were being brought here directly on the plates. I wasn't aware of the place where sacks were put. I wondered if even he was the one bringing them anymore.

The way he came for that mark attack was so horrifying, he must truly be hating me for being bold and selfish.

"Well, unlike you, I kept my promise. I meant it when I took my vows of a Luna and called him a member of my pack. That little pup misses you. Won't you get well sooner so you can see him?"

It was hard to stay quiet when she was bothering me with the sweet talking. It was strange. I was expecting her to burst out on me. She was the one who encouraged Karam to bite me. She called it 'punishment'.

I was pissed and I would show it in a different way by default. Because I had lost the enthusiasm to rebel.

Maybe, this was why, Nysa had turned this present version of herself. Poor her, she had to watch Karam's mother accept her fate and was forced to be the same way by the circumstances.

I couldn't even imagine how the things would have been if Karam's father was here. Where was he, though? I had never heard any of them mentioning his death.

"Foxy? I am talking to you," Amelia said, the amusement was obvious in her tone. She knew that I was going through his memories. She was aware of the effect it could leave on my heart. She knew that I was left with no power to rebel now that the destination itself was vanished.

"Won't you ask me about your Karam anymore?"

My jaws clenched. My eyes started burning and I gritted my teeth so hard in the pain I felt in my chest.

I didn't want to. The heat was gone and the cramps had brought me to the reality.

Of course, I wanted to confront him about everything. I wanted to see him dare to face me after everything that had happened. But I didn't want to, anymore.

I had just lost the emotional strength and reason to do it. Meeting him won't change things. The damage was irreparable.

Solving things would mean, getting into line after his mother and Nysa. After Alvena and Savina.

"Next day after the night," she said while smoothening a crease in the bedsheet. "The night when you did the whole adventure." She chuckled.

I blinked calmly, trying to fade the gloss from the emotions.

"He waited until we informed him that the bleeding had stopped," she continued, waiting for me to look at her. But I won't. "Then, at the dawn, he left for the mountains. In anger. He was cursing Rosetta on the way. Did something happen?"

I couldn't help flaring my nostrils.

Of course, it must be about making mutually-decided answers with her if I ever tried to ask her about their teen days.

"He was talking about breaking her hand with which she hit you," she said slowly. "Did something happen between her and you?"

My lips parted. Wait. What?

I blinked while remembering all of my encounters with Rosetta. The most personal one was where she took me to Lucine's meditation chamber.

Oh.

I bit my lip in sudden nervousness. Did he. . . Did he see my memories too?

I had totally forgotten about it.

My mouth parted in slight shock as it finally started to soak in mind. Oh God. He could be knowing everything about me now. All the thoughts I have had all these times. All my secrets. My darkest moments. My dearest memories.

As if he already didn't have advantage at being a Lycan. This was unacceptable. This was breach of privacy.

So, I was just left bare to him like that through the whole marking, all this scene been innovated by Moon Goddess.

"How could he?" The murmur escaped my mouth in absolute annoyance. I was upset. Very upset.

"This will clear up so many misunderstandings, Foxy." Amelia said while getting up from the wooden chair beside the bed. Her big round earrings dangled while her brown fitted dress made me wonder if she was doing the laundry these days.

Nysa would wear something like that for washing clothes or going to the fields with cattles for grazing.

"The mark is not a punishment. It is always a blessing in disguise."

I didn't realise that I had finally looked at her side.

Her kohl-blue eyes squinted a little in amusement.

"It could have been done in a different environment. A happy one on a happy day or night. But you pushed his beast into it. You triggered him. More than you, he must have never dreamt to mark you in such circumstances. But like I said, it will only clear the chaos."

She picked up the bowl full of dirty bandages that she had replaced with the new ones. The dried green paste on them made me curl my lip a little. It smelled so bitter.

She was about to turn around and leave. But she stopped and took a heavy breathe before looking back at me.

"I encouraged him a lot in the beginning to mark you," she said, now showing her true self.

The bitch face had appeared and the softness had gone. Her nostrils flared and eyes turned narrow. The Luna's left corner of the lip raised in irritation.

"He didn't listen. He was scared. Always told me, you were too weak to take his sharp canines. Those two holes in your neck could end your life, he couldn't dream of it. We all pushed him to do it. Especially when the talk about that night with the mystic wench reached your ears. He could have marked you and showed you all his forgotten memories to prove his innocence. But he didn't. He didn't care about your anger on him. He cared more about that little beating heart in your chest. About you!"

I flinched and looked away from her.

Her voice had raised in frustration.

"I don't blame you. If I were you, I would have run away too. You aren't the first bride from outside the border! We have been used to this rebellion! But you have been in heat. You chose to close that border for you, yourself! Because he tried all his might to make you realise his true love for you! Your heart didn't lie! Then, you tell him that you'd rather die than go back to him! After calling his pup, yours! After giving him hope of a forever! Of eternity! How could you!"

I flinched again. My fists clenched the bedsheet when a growl accompanied her next words.

"You are fortunate! Goddess has her hand on your head that you are able to breathe after his deadly mark! He despises himself for loosing control and pushing you to the verge of death! There was so much bleeding!" She growled angrily, throwing the bowl on the floor.

I covered my eyes with arms while the door burst opened.

Alvena and Reveka rushed in. Both looking wide-eyed at Amelia.

"Mother! No!"

"I won't hide anything!" The Luna growled when Alvena grabbed her hand while pleading with soft eyes. "She needs to know that she was close to death, three nights ago!"

Chill ran down my spine while I breathed shakily.

Emily entered the room in hurry and rushed to me. She sat on the bed and hugged my arm, asking me to look at her.

"There was so much bleeding! So much! He was terrified! We were barely breathing because of her!" Her mother yelled angrily.

"Sister, she has already too much to take in," Alvena whispered worriedly while looking at her, covering her face from my sight.

Amelia looked in my eyes angrily and breathed hard to calm herself down.

"It must be either his mother's blessings that saved you! Or was it a loved one from your own world! The poison was defeated by your immunity, at last. It is a miracle that you are here, alive enough to curse him all you want!" She shrieked abruptly.

I nearly had a heart attack.

"Mother!" Reveka growled lowly.

Amelia flared her nostrils and gave me a dead look.

"We don't count running away as betrayals. We count ignorance and hatred. Unnecessary hatred. We count the will to die than to love a mate, as a betrayal. You are as stuck here as whole of our old generations had been. With you, Karam's world would have ended too. But you don't understand it. Do you? Soaking in windy rain, running away in cold, trying to turn into ash through that border and for what? Ready to get chased by deadly Lycans! And you wonder why he marked you! His beast was mad in fear of losing you! The mark is not his fault! He was waiting for a good time when you'd have been ready too. It's your fault, Foxy. Yours!"

My lips trembled while tears filled in my eyes.

I breathed a little when she slammed the door after walking out of the room.

A soft sob ripped through my chest and Alvena sat beside me to calm me down.

But my heart was bleeding.

"Mine?" I choked out.

Alvena wiped my cheeks while shaking her head. "It's no one's fault." She smiled nervously. "You had nearly gotten blue by the poison, Misty. You had scared us. Amelia is just bitter about feeling scared for your life. It was hard to handle our sorrows and Karam losing his wits in seeing you nearly gone."

"I should have gone," I told her, making her let out a desperate sigh.

She smiled tightly, looking at me with empathy in her eyes.

"But you didn't and that means everything. Things will get better, I promise." She said when I let out another faint sob.

Reveka and Emily stayed a step away from bed, watching us quietly.

"I can't cross the border. I have lost. I don't want to go crazy, Alvena. I don't want to lose it like I will. I don't know how you do it. I will lose it. I will go insane," I choked out while squeezing my eyes shut in sadness.

"You didn't do all this much to stop here," whispered Alvena while looking in my eyes. Her sharp nose turned red as she sniffled softly and nodded at me. "Your brother came all the way here, changed history and gave you hope. You can't let him down. Remember, one of them is hurt."

My mouth parted in shock.

My eyes widened as I remembered their faces. I didn't even know who was hurt among them.

"The flower. . ." I gasped.

"See, there's no dead-end. No going insane." Alvena wiped my tears and smiled tightly.

"One of them will die." I gasped in realisation. "No. No."

"Then, ask for it." Reveka's voice came strong and full of mockery.

I looked at her and she raised her one eyebrow.

"Ask for it." She repeated.

"It is not so rare," said Emily while giving me a warm smile. "But it only grows on our land. The coldness and soil here suits it. But father doesn't allow a single trade. It can happen now. Uncle will do anything for you. Won't he?"

My heart started beating faster as his childhood memories started surfacing in my mind. I knew his weakness and strengths now more than anything. I knew him more than he knew himself now.

I had seen even the unconscious memories that he couldn't remember. I had seen it all.

"Aren't you upset that I tried to run away?" I asked it straight away in my hoarse voice.

Reveka and Emily exchanged a glance before looking at me.

"It's not the first time." Both answered at the same time.

"We would have done the same," said Emily.

Alvena lowered her gaze a little.

I blinked and looked away, trying to understand the scenario.

I had no strength and courage left to do any more stunts. I saw his beast. I couldn't imagine facing more than that.

The girls started leaving the room. Alvena stayed. But she was quiet and deep in thought.

So was I.

It could be Gilbert too.

My heart drowned in deep concern.

Thomas or Eva or Keira could be injured too. I just couldn't calculate when and how one of them must have gotten hurt.

No. I can't let that happen.

"Where is he?" I asked lowly.

Alvena hesitated before answering, "None of us has seen him. He didn't even come back to meet Keev. We have been taking care of the little pup. He chooses silence over violence to of overcome grief. Though, the grief never ends. He will come around. But you can't waste time. Can you?"

My eyes caught the hidden taunt in her eyes.

Alvena was rooting for me. She didn't want me to be like her and all other brides. But could I still hold any strength when I couldn't even cross the border.

Her and Nysa weren't even allowed to shift into their wolves on usual days and nights whenever they wished, except for the forceful shift on the full moon.

"No," I replied while looking at the door and flaring my nostrils.

There was no instant energy. But I had the absolute right to ask for the flower straight away. I suffered so much and deserved to demand it with all of my pride.

Also, I couldn't just give up without knowing how the hell Lycans had managed to catch up with the Jeep, regardless of my ability to cross the border.

What would Gilbert feel if he saw me looking this dull? He would be disgusted and happy about us not being blood-related.

Were Pete and Thomas even expecting the flower? What if Eva or Keira were hurt too? I won't be able to forgive myself if they got poisoned because of their efforts to save me.

Karam had read all of my mind anyway. It wasn't like I had to hide anything from him anymore. I had nothing to lose too.

But, a life. A precious life outside the border.

I had to send the flower as quick as I could.

Hang in there.

I would try my best to not make you wait for it any longer.

______

"What do you think?"

Please vote and comment.

____

Too much screen use, gadgets, not giving my eyes and mind any rest.

I had to suffer a massive headache for like three days and it faded slowly only after I followed the doctor's advices and medications.

It was a burnt out, really. I wasn't realising it. But now when I think of it, I understand that I wasn't giving myself any rest at all.

I was working and then trying to watch tutorials, entertainment stuff, social media back to back. Also, all the things going around, the news get to your head and heart too when you are empathetic. My eyes had no rest. I was also not able to sleep early these past two months. Anyway, I have recovered.

Even after days of rest now, I still feel a little jolt in my forehead whenever I watch screen for more than an hour. I even skipped listening music too (headphones) for the time being. I have realized how despite knowing the basic things about taking breaks and care of eyes, I was still being careless.

But now I am taking care of myself. I am not using social media that much, avoiding gadgets, dividing my work time with equal intervals and sleeping on time.

Tonight is an exception, because I slept in the noon.

This is the farthest I have been to nature because of the pandemic. I went to a park with green trees and swings for walk, like in Jan 2020. I make most of the little plants I have in my home.

So, yeah. This was it. I am sorry that I made you all worried. I really am and feel ashamed about it. I hope, you all will forgive me, learn something from my mistake, be proud of your good routines or start taking care from now on.

Your kind messages warmed my heart when I read them. I was really longing to update from past weeks and I was just helpless.

The mere font was bringing me headache. I had to take long break from my work too.

Last summer, I was updating until dawn with no care about my eyes. Because Misty was bringing so much happiness to my heart. But I would suggest you all to not be careless like me and be careful about our health in every way.

I will update one more chapter soon. I want to make it up for being so late. Please look forward to it.

We will have lots of fun in upcoming chapters. It's going to get intense.

Your messages and comments keep me happy. It has been only source of positivity in these tough times, most of the days. I wish you all good health and safety.

Love,
Nikki.

P.S. I hadn't planned to update it on a Super Flower Blood Full Moon. It's a coincidence.