The first bite brought out a faint moan from me.

The apples were not even fitting full in my hands. Fresh, juicy, yellowish pulp and beautiful red.

The sweet taste trailed down inside my throat, reaching my stomach. I chewed the fruit in pleasure hurriedly while savouring the taste.

Passing me the plate across the little round table, he gave me an amused look.

I slowed down and put the left over piece in the plate. Grabbing the one from washed apples on the plate, I took a big bite, making him sigh in relief while looking at me.

He looked too big for this table, to settle on that chair and sit in front of me.

I ate hurriedly, realizing how much I was craving for some freshness. My eyes wandered towards the wall where the sack full of those apples and oranges was placed by him few minutes ago.

When he had left almost an hour ago, I had decided to wash my mouth with so-called ash and I miserably failed to do so. The ash was stuck in half of my jaws and in between my teeth even after gargling and flossing thousand times. I had been drinking the non-veg soup all this time and it did affect my feelings. I felt conflicted. I didn't know if I should be angry on the women or be thankful that they at least gave me something to eat.

My eyes fell on the other big sack that he showed me was filled with vegetables. He called out Emily and gave her the ones I choose. Broccoli and onions for a start. She left after Karam made me tell her how must it be made. The sack had spinach, carrots and cauliflowers too.

"Could you stop staring at me?" I mumbled while lowering my eyes and burping silently. I might have ate six to seven apples without realizing it.

But he was creeping me out.

Silence followed while my heart started beating in alert.

"Why? My mate is beautiful. I will keep staring at her."

I blinked and looked at him chewing slowly. His heated gaze would always hold me in some cage. I would feel conscious to even look back at him. But now, I was partly scared to object and partly angry that I might really object.

I couldn't afford another slip of tongue.

I had to be careful with the words.

Since when did I get so scared and tight in mind? I was not myself, these days.

All because of him.

"It is rude to stare at someone in my world," I mumbled awkwardly, because I was low-key scared if he would react negatively.

"Well, it is the way we show love here, in our world."

Looking at him, I observed his face going straight as if he was trying to understand me. His eyes were so damn calculative all the time.

"Of course, it's all about your world." I said, clenching my jaws. Staring blankly at the table, I added, "You don't give a fuck to what I have learned all of my life; what I follow. I didn't spent those years in my world for nothing. Right?"

His eyebrows straightened and eyes squinted in thought. "I like looking at my mate. My gaze won't burn her down. Would it?" he mumbled while leaning ahead on the table, pushing the plates aside. The hair on my neck risen when his face came closer to mine, just few inches left in between. "Or does it make her nervous?"

I gulped slowly, a sudden shiver going through my heart. Looking up in his flaming eyes, the pupils dilated. He sniffed slowly.

"It makes her sad," I murmured softly, making his smirk fade.

"How would I love you If I do not see you?"

I bit my lip, flaring my nostrils while collecting the courage. My hands rolled into fists as I replied, "How can you see me in eyes after threatening to rape me? Almost getting there and crushing whatever soul I had left inside me?" My voice cracked immediately.

His eyebrows raised in warning. But then, he let out a long breathe and gave me a blank look. "I gave you my word. I won't scare you like that anymore," he said, sliding his hand towards mine, cupping it.

All of my insides awakened in extreme alert. Something undeniable flipped my stomach.

The helplessness brought tears to my eyes. But I didn't want to cry. I controlled a sob when I remembered the same hand against my breast. Disgust crawled my spine and I let it all out.

"I thought what they all did was worse," I said, remembering the Alphas and Lunas fighting to send me here. "I thought what my brother did to me was worse. I thought what my mother's mate did to me was worse."

Wiping my cheek gently with my left hand, I lowered my head. "But you did the worst, Karam. You broke the life in me. I feel as if I wouldn't be able to smile anymore. All I want is to cry and die," I choked out, weeping softly.

He squeezed my hand. "Don't say that, my mate. I will make you smile and laugh," he said in a concerned tone. "I will fill this whole room with the fruits you love. I will cook your curry myself."

When I couldn't control the fucking emotional side of me, I let it all out. Each sob felt like a defeat. Each tear felt like degrading myself in my own eyes.

I felt too overwhelmed.

"Stop crying." He emphasized, squeezing my hand again.

"I can't," I choked out slowly. Each day, I would cry, take a pledge to avenge these moments and then, cry again. I was done with this routine. I didn't want to lie to myself anymore. My hope was breaking. "I want to die."

He stiffened.

"I would never be able to see my Gran. I would never be able to see my Mom. My family. I would never be able to eat ice cream again. Burger. Pizza. I would never see a bus. My books. My curtains. My certificates. Gran would die without me. My degree. My dreams. My life has left with no meaning anymore," I said, sobbing softly.

"My Gran kept me like a flower. Never let me get a minor scratch. Never let me cry," I said, feeling my heart shaking. "Here, I have wounds. I am being tortured. Humiliated. Threats. Heir. Threats. Rape. I can't breathe without feeling unprotected and hurt."

Leaving my hand that still had the mark from last night's cut, he got up from the chair.

I gulped shakily while looking up at him in uncertainty.

The doors burst opened and Emily opened the door with a smile. It faded as soon when she saw my face. Her eyes moved on to her Uncle's back.

"I brought the food," she said hesitatingly.

My eyes met his, he was only staring at me blankly. I gulped while he flared his nostrils and turned around, letting Emily in and walking out of the door.

What a douche!

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____

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.

"Thank you," I said awkwardly. "It tastes good."

Emily smiled widely. "You think so? I thought I didn't boil it properly."

"It's good," I said, gulping down the left over curry and putting the spoon in the empty bowl.

Staring blankly at the table, at my healing hand, I kept thinking about my emotional outburst.

"Do you feel too free, Aunt Misty? You want to come and see around with me?" She asked while picking up the bowl.

I shook my head. "I don't want to," I said brokenly.

"Why? You must see how beautiful the valley look. The mountains are humongous," she said, making me raise my eyebrow at her use of words. Her eyes turned big as she added, "I have already asked mother about showing you around the pack. She agreed on one term."

"What term?" I asked curiously.

Emily bit her lip apologetically. "You will have to wear that crown from the wedding. So, the pack sees you like the beauty you are."

I scoffed tiredly. "The compliments here does not make me happy by any chance. Only makes me more scared," I said, pouring out my thoughts. "I am sorry, Emily. I don't want to."

Her face fell slowly.

"Oh," she mumbled while taking the bowls and getting up from the chair her Uncle was sitting on. "Whenever you wish."

Leaving me alone in the room, she shut the door.

She won't feel bad. Would she?

I was the victim here. Not her.

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____

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He hadn't returned yet.

The evening passed like a thousand years.

Each minute felt like century.

Sitting at the foot of the bed, resting my head against the wooden fence, I spent my time thinking of the Oblivion.

Days would pass like this and one day, Amelia would demand a child. My so-called mate would end up raping me. I would die of the burden of a Lycan in my womb.

Why did God birth me in a city? In the human world as a human when I was destined to be thrown into the world of Lycans.

The door opened and someone stepped aside. For a moment, my heart started beating faster thinking it was him.

But then the voice came in the dark.

"I made you a dish."

My eyes closed at listening to her. "Could you please light a lamp? I couldn't find a matchstick." It slipped my tongue absentmindedly.

"What's that? What stick?" Amelia asked while going out of the room and returning with a lit lantern and a candle within a minute. Hanging it at the corner of the wall on a nail, she started lighting more candles across the room.

My eyes fell on the bowl and bread on the plate. "Thank you, Ame. . . sister."

She gave me a delightful look, putting the last candle on the table.

I looked around the room, now filled with the candle light. A sigh escaped my lips at realizing how I might not ever feel the luxury of AC again. The fan. The light bulbs. My straightener. My curler. The heater. My Laptop. My phone.

I gulped before my throat could even start vibrating in emotions.

"Now, tell me by tasting it."

"It's nice," I said, wiping my mouth while chewing on the bread satisfyingly. At last, I had the dinner that could keep me relieved. "Why are you being nice to me?"

Amelia frowned all of a sudden. "I am nice. To my loved ones. You are one of them, now. You are family. Like a sister and daughter to me. I will be nice to you," she said, watching me eat.

I chewed quietly, staring at the bowl. "You just want a heir from me."

"No!" She immediately cut off. "You are our Karam's mate. I want nothing but you to be one of us by heart. I know, you miss home. So, I will be nice to you. Karam expects me to be the same mother to you that I have been to him too."

I looked at her, chuckling humorlessly. "You are doing this for him. Of course. Here, everything happens for him." I muttered while eating the bread.

She passed me the copper glass and shrugged her shoulders. "You cannot take love from me, well. I get it. Looks like you have never really gotten love your whole life," she taunted, watching me sip the water.

I stiffened. "This is your love for me?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Careful. Too much arrogance of being born in some world that we have never been too, is not right. Of all the brides, you are being treated like a princess because it's Karam. He helped me deliver my Emily. Kenny. He made beds for my children when King goes away to get the crops. He has been the most obedient child. You are seeing this side of me because of his good deeds."

I had lost the appetite.

"Thank you for the food."

Those were my last words when she left coldly. But not before showing me candle light so I could wash my hands in the dark bathroom. Unfolded the furs on the bed for me and took the utensils away.

She had shut the door after her, again leaving me alone in this big room.

The curtain around the pillars were soft and lacy. The roof of the canopy seemed beautiful from lying under it. The pillars were removable, I noticed. That's how it was possible to bring the large bed through that door.

The cold of the night had started to spread around the room from under the door and the window. I covered myself with the fur and remembered how before sleeping, I had gotten used to seeing Alpha Rucus statue, pointing at the Lycans.

Only if I knew, him warning me in my dreams mattered so much.

Of all, he had tried to help me from the beginning.

"What are we thinking about?"

I let out a loud gasp in fright, raising myself immediately.

A faint lazy laughter escaped him at seeing me alert and scared. My harsh breathing calmed down as I laid back and shifted myself away from him, creating as much gap between us.

He had opened the bun, removed the boots too. I wondered if he had washed his feet. There was no smell though. He was wearing a cream shirt, different from the previous one. This one had little frill at the Hem of the sleeves.

Putting one arm underneath his head, he stared up at the canopy, making me sigh in relief.

Yet I was alert of his actions.

"I didn't hear the door opening," I said weakly, bringing the furs up, curling my body to stay far from him.

"Because I didn't open it. I came through the window," he said, making my eyes narrowed.

"You are too big for that window. That's impossible."

He smiled, putting his right leg against his raised left knee.

I turned on my back and relaxed too.

Silence settled and we stared at the canopy.

Only our breaths were audible in the silent room.

Moments passed and he finally spoke, "It is not about me. This bond involves you too. I want to know everything about you, my mate. Tell me about the world you came from. So, I can make you feel better by creating the same environment."

I chuckled sadly. "It would take centuries for this pack to become the world I have grown up in. It's a like a time machine, Karam. I have been thrown back in time. And the watch here is stuck."

"A watch?"

"The device that tells time. Like-Like an hour glass."

He hummed. "I have one in the cupboard. It's gifted by my father. Thought, I would take it out when I'd find my mate. But bringing it out would make me realize the passing of time. I don't want the time to pass when you are here with me. I want us stuck with each other, forever." He said quietly.

I breathed, listening to him quietly. My chest heaved up and down, feeling the sudden sensations in my stomach.

"My father was a human, living with his mother in the human world. . ."

He turned on his side to look at me. The sudden gaze did make me feel conscious. But I couldn't care anymore.

"One day, he saw my vulnerable mother. Sad and alone. The sudden pull led to them marrying each other. She told him the truth of being a Werewolf, about having two pups back at home, about her Alpha mate that she had left because he had killed her brother. My father must have felt scared and might not even believed her words. But he did, my mother told me. He really did. They got married and they had me."

The soft wind caressed my cheeks while he listened carefully.

"The day I was born, was the day her mate found her in the city. Killed my father in front of her and my grandmother. . ."

He cleared his throat while I told him everything.

For a moment, the thought of hiding the true facts came to my mind. But then, I just wanted to speak it out. To free my heart.

He listened to all of it.

". . . The bond with the family had become stronger. I thought that I had found what I was looking for whole my life. The hole was filling up. Her mate was melting. He showed it the night your brother came for me. He fought for me. He took my responsibility. But it was my brother, his first born, who threw me to the borders. Ordered the Beta to throw me ahead, in your brother's feet and he did. . ."

He stayed quiet.

"It would have been better if I had been a werewolf like them. Mom's mate would have accepted me as his pack member helplessly. I would have been familiar to this supernatural world from the beginning. I would have been aware of the fact that I too could be chosen for a Lycan. I wouldn't have been a pain in the ass, then. I would have been your good mate, Karam."

His hand slid across the bed to hold wine, bringing utter warmth in my heart. Yet I felt scared of the intensity of the scene.

Never had I ever slept with a boy before. And he was a man. A Lycan, monster man. A predator.

Intertwining our fingers, he wrapped his big ones around mine.

My stomach flipped at the wild sensations I felt inside my chest. It was weird. So weird.

"You are my good mate," he said, warmly. "If someone had been bad, it is me. As an Alpha blooded, I won't submit. But I will admit to my mate that I hurt her. I won't ask for forgiveness. I would be the good mate. My deeds would show my love for you."

"You can just say sorry to me," I whispered shakily. "All my life, my Mom's mate never said that for killing my father. For leaving me an orphan. For never accepting me. Maybe, it's just the sorry that the person wants to hear. To just let me know that he is now ashamed of that act. That he doesn't take pride in whatever he did in the past."

"I do not take pride in what happened in the morning," he said, making me turn my head and look at him. His amber eyes mixed with the candle light. His beard created a vast shadow on the pillows. His loose hair were spread above lightly. "Like you did."

That's when I realized how I hadn't apologized to him either. But why would I? I wasn't harming anyone here.

All of them were harming me including him. And he hadn't apologized. But if he was ashamed of what happened, then should I. . .

"I always wanted a father's love more than a boyfriend or a mate," I whispered, looking in his eyes. "The kisses were useless and stupid."

He tightened our intertwined fingers.

"They both used me for their mean motives. I just wanted. . ."

"To make me feel rejected," he completed, making me lower my eyes. "I feel it. The beast went wild. I went mad. It made me hurt you. I didn't intend to do anything like that until you talked about the other men. . ."

"I am sorry, Karam."

He released a long breathe.

"I. . ." He began, making my heartbeats faster. I stared at the ceiling hopelessly.

Could he do it? Could he?

These proud predators couldn't just admit their mistakes. Or could they?

Could Karam do it?

He brought back the hope in my heart. "I am. . . I am sorry, my mate." The voice came out sad.

I couldn't believe this.

"The brothers would laugh at me for submitting to you. But my beast doesn't feel alive when you cry because of me. It aches in here, in my chest." He whispered lazily in his thick heavy voice, making my heart flutter hard.

Turning on my side, I watched him observing me. "I won't tell anyone," I told him, making him chuckle lightly.

"The walls have ears, my mate."

Chill ran down my spine.

"Why? Is someone eavesdropping us?" I asked fearfully.

He hummed with a small smile on his face. "The air goes around, takes along our words too."

"How do you share secrets then?" I asked in slight terror.

Karam let out a hearty chuckle. "We don't have any secrets. But if you ever want to say something precious to me, you tell me about it. I will take you to a place where our words could be between us only."

"Where?"

He smiled. "Will show my mate when the time comes."

I blinked and closed my eyes sleepily.

"Good night, Karam."

A kiss came upon the back of my hand that he was holding. I felt the beard and moustache brushing against my skin. The shivers crossed my heart.

"A night and more nights to come, with you by my side. Good indeed, my mate."

I snuggled into the furs, feeling the intense gaze on me until I was deep in sleep.

Not before reminding myself that I had to pretend.

Just pretend.

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