double update b/c pain <3

HOBIWOBI
i hated the way you looked at me

HOBIWOBI
like i was the only person for you

HOBIWOBI
your eyes held the universe in them every time you looked at me

HOBIWOBI
and i hated it because how could someone ever love someone else to the point of their universe changing to match only them?

HOBIWOBI
this wasn't a fairy tale romance, yet, that's all i could see every time i looked at you

HOBIWOBI
you loved me more than you loved anyone else

HOBIWOBI
i was your one and only in everything

HOBIWOBI
and i didn't know how to feel about it

HOBIWOBI
because when i would be with you, it didn't feel like anything

HOBIWOBI
it was as if i was used to being with you

HOBIWOBI
i couldn't give you the same feelings that you gave me 

HOBIWOBI
no matter how hard i tried, it always felt like i was on the receiving end

HOBIWOBI
and you deserved so much better than me

HOBIWOBI
you still do

HOBIWOBI
thought maybe if i left something could happen

HOBIWOBI
fuck i don't even know what i was thinking. i was so in my mind that everything i did felt like a blur. i can't explain it and i don't think i'll ever have the answer as to why i left you

HOBIWOBI
maybe i thought it would fix the way i was feeling. i felt so guilty every time i saw you, every time i looked at the glittering band on my ring finger, and those feelings never went away.

HOBIWOBI
i didn't want to say anything because i knew you'd be hurt. and then i ended up running away from our wedding. our supposedly happy ending. everything was planned for us, and i fucked it all up.

HOBIWOBI
i left without explanation, left you to fend off against everyone who'd seen what i'd done. and instead of me leaving you alone, i made up a completely new persona. 

HOBIWOBI
can you believe that?

HOBIWOBI
i pretended to be someone else because i couldn't stand the thought of leaving you alone.

HOBIWOBI
i tried so much to move on from you because i thought that's what i wanted. i mean, that should be the only reason why i left right? there's no way that i would have left if i did feel as strongly for you as you did for me 

HOBIWOBI
god, yoongi, i don't know why i thought i could just erase you from my existence

HOBIWOBI
everything leads me back to you and i hate it

HOBIWOBI
it feels like i feel nothing for you

HOBIWOBI
but at the same time

HOBIWOBI
fuck i miss you

HOBIWOBI
i miss you so fucking much

HOBIWOBI
i just want you here. with me.

HOBIWOBI
but at the same time, i don't want anything to do with you

HOBIWOBI
what the fuck is wrong with me

SUGAYOONIE
jay?

HOBIWOBI
no

HOBIWOBI
not jay

HOBIWOBI
hoseok.

SUGAYOONIE
wow

SUGAYOONIE
okay

SUGAYOONIE
i thought you were real

SUGAYOONIE
i thought i'd actually started getting over you 

SUGAYOONIE
guess i didn't

HOBIWOBI
i'm sorry

SUGAYOONIE
it all makes sense now

SUGAYOONIE
i can't believe i'm a fucking idiot

SUGAYOONIE
everyone but me knew who you were. namjoon and jungkook, they know you, they're your friends. jimin, seokjin, even taehyung. everyone.

SUGAYOONIE
just when i thought you couldn't break my heart more

HOBIWOBI
i'm so sorry

SUGAYOONIE
how many times are you going to apologize?

SUGAYOONIE
it's not going to change anything

SUGAYOONIE
everyone's lying to me

SUGAYOONIE
no fucking wonder

SUGAYOONIE
be honest, hoseok, are you here, in seoul?

HOBIWOBI
i am

SUGAYOONIE
yeah. i know.

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a/n: i have class at noon and it's almost five am but i was like it's finally time so here we are.

i love pain uwu. flashbacks sounding real nice right now so we thinking again (: