Chapter Twelve
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Chapter Twelve
Heavy
I wanted to talk to Sophie so I made a way for us to meet. Tinulungan na rin ako ni Ava. I was still on duty at the hospital so we just met at the near coffee shop. Pumayag din si Sophie na makipagkita sa akin. Gusto pa akong samahan ni Ava but I told my friend that I wanted to talk alone with Sophia Miguel.
Tumayo ako nang makita kong pumasok na ng coffee shop si Sophie. Nakita na rin niya ako at nagtagpo ang mga mata namin. She's wearing a corporate attire probably for law school. She went straight to the small round table for two that I chose for us. "Coffee?" salubong ko sa kaniya.
"Tea is fine for me." Sophie answered.
While we waited for her order dahil nakapag-order na rin ako ng akin kanina. Nauna akong dumating dito sa kaniya but I didn't wait long, too. Dahil dumating na rin naman siya agad. "I'm sorry for last time that we met at the mall. I didn't really mean to be rude or what... Truth is I want to apologize to you." I started our conversation.
Sophie slowly nodded her head. "Aaron and I met abroad. The first time we met through a common friend, hindi pa niya agad ako pinansin noon. Akala ko nga ay suplado siya pero hindi naman pala. Dahil kalaunan ay nagpapansinan na rin kami. Until we're already meeting each other several times. Until we both agreed to have a relationship. We were doing fine... you know. We were okay even when we came here. I was assured so I didn't really mind meeting you. Aaron love me."
Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa inumin ko. She was assured. Mahal nga sigurong talaga siya ni Aaron. While I was here waiting for him to come back. Waiting for his forgiveness. At umasang magiging maayos pa rin kami at babalik sa dati. While I patiently waited for him and never love or even looked at other men. Aaron was abroad and was able to love someone else. I can feel the hurt in my heart.
Alam ko namang nagkamali ako. Alam kong ako ang may kasalanan kung bakit umalis noon si Aaron. I thought I already suffered the consequence when Aaron left me. And I lost few more people like our friends or his sister and not only him. Muntikan din akong bumagsak noon sa studies ko. But now I think hindi parin siguro talaga. He already left me before. He already ended us four years ago when he left. Malinaw niyang sinabi iyon sa akin noon pero ako lang ang hindi makatanggap. Ako lang naman ang umasa na mayroon pa rin kaming aayusin at babalikan. But for Aaron it was all done. We really ended.
"Pero ikaw ang gumawa ng paraan para makuha siya, hindi ba? You seduced him." she accused.
"Whatever Sierra has told you..." But then I sighed a bit. I give it up. Kung ano pa man ang iisipin nila sa akin ay hindi na siguro iyon mahalaga... "Maybe I did... Siguro nga inakit ko si Aaron. I'm the evil bitch ex of your relationship." I said it bitterly.
Mukhang nagulat naman si Sophie sa sinabi ko for her eyes widened a little at my remarks. Nagpatuloy ako pagkatapos ng isa pang marahang pagbubuntong-hininga. "That's why I'm here now to apologize to you. Thank you for meeting me here. I really want to apologize. I ruined your relationship with Aaron."
Natigilan lang kami sandali nang dumating na rin ang tea niya. Umalis din naman agad ang nag-serve ng order. Nakatingin kami ni Sophie sa isa't isa at halos hindi niya rin galawin ang in-order. "I'm not holding Aaron right now or anything. I won't drag him to the altar because I'm pregnant now. No matter if you won't accept my apology now I will still apologize to you. I'm sorry, Sophie." I said sincerely.
Hindi siya nagsalita. "Nagpabulag ako sa feelings ko para kay Aaron... Hindi ko na naisip na may masasaktan din akong tao. At ikaw 'yon. And believe me or not I didn't really mean to... I was wrong." Tumango-tango ako sa pagtanggap na sa lahat ng bagay at mga nangyari. "If you still love Aaron. If you still love each other... If you love him then maybe you can still find it in your heart to forgive him and come back to him. Hindi ko siya pipilitin. Hindi niya ako kailangang panagutan. At kapag nagbalikan kayo, siguro ay wala akong karapatang humiling sa 'yo... But I still want Aaron to be a father to our child. Para lang sa bata, Sophie. I still want my child to grow up with a father. Aaron doesn't have to be with me just because we're having a child..." I feel like I didn't know anymore what to say o nasabi ko na ang mga dapat kong sabihin. I can only hope that Sophie will understand.
Nag-ring ang phone ko at hinahanap na ako ni daddy. I politely said goodbye to Sophie at tumango rin naman siya. Doon nagtapos ang pag-uusap naming iyon and after that I came to a decision.
Kailangan ko nalang maging matatag para sa magiging anak ko. Will she or he hate me for this? Na sana ay ipilit ko nalang na magpakasal kami ni Aaron since Aaron's also willing to give our child a complete family. But does it guarantee that we will be okay after? Kahit hindi na ako ang mahal ni Aaron at may mahal na siyang iba. I think it's okay. Hindi na rin naman kami ang unang pamilyang ganito. Co-parenting seem okay nowadays. Marami na rin ang gumagawa ng ganito. Kaya hindi naman mag-iisa ang anak ko sa ganitong set up. And I will raise him or her with all the love that I can give. I will work harder for my child. In the hopes na sana ay maging sapat na iyon sa kaniya at hindi niya maramdamang may kulang sa buhay niya.
"Mommy?"
"Yes, hija?"
Mom was inside my room tonight and even combing my hair as I sit on my dresser. "Did you married dad for me? Para po sa mga anak ninyo." I asked her dahil si mommy na mismo ang may experience sa ganito.
Mommy gently sighed. "At first I didn't marry your dad because I didn't want him to do it just because he got me pregnant or we were having a child, you. Later on I agreed to marry him because we fell in love." Mommy smiled.
Napangiti rin ako habang nagkakatinginan kami ni mommy sa mga reflection namin sa mirror ng dresser ko. "But... habang lumalaki po ako noon naisip n'yo rin po ba na sana ay pinakasalan n'yo na po si daddy kahit para nga sa akin?"
Tumango si mommy. "Yes, hija. Ilang beses ko rin noon pinagsisihan na hindi agad ako pumayag na magpakasal sa dad mo. Lalo noong nakikita kong lumalaki ka na nga at unti-unti nang nagkakaisip. I realized I didn't want you to get hurt." Mommy sighed.
We became quiet for a while. Mommy spoke again. "Does this have something to do with your situation right now with Aaron...?"
Hindi ako tumango o umiling kay mommy. Nagbaba lang ako ng tingin sa collection ko ng perfumes na nakapatong sa space ng dresser ko.
"Hija... iba naman iyon. When I met your dad I thought we were a total stranger. It was just a typical one-night stand... Hindi kami magkakilala at magkakaroon kami ng anak, but we never had a relationship before." Mommy never shared things like this to me before. Kahit kalaunan nang tuluyan na nga akong nagkaisip at parang nalaman ko na rin naman ang history nila ni daddy. But maybe she's telling all these things to me now because the situation calls for it.
"While you and Aaron you've known each other since you were both young. And, Teen, I've talked to Aaron. He really wants to marry you—"
"Ayaw ko po, Mommy. Hindi namin kailangang magpakasal just because we're expecting a child to be born on us. Aaron doesn't love me anymore, M-Mom." My voice shook. Bahagya akong suminghap at napalunok. Nahirapan din ako sa paglunok dahil parang may bukol na namuo sa lalamunan ko. I feel like crying at tuluyan nga akong umiyak when mommy started comforting me. I feel like my heart have been feeling heavy all this time.
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