Chapter Thirty-three

Other woman

Hinatid kami ni Aaron sa bahay pagkatapos sa wedding reception nina Jarvis at Sophie. Bella already fell asleep in the car so Aaron carried our daughter up to our unit.

It was the time back then when I was already earning enough from working at our hospital when I've decided to move out of my parents' house. Noong una ay ayaw pa akong payagan nina daddy. But I told them my reason of wanting to be more independent especially now that I already have my own daughter. Kalaunan ay pumayag din ang family ko.

I got myself and Bella a decent condo unit. I think Bella was three years old back when we moved here. Since then ay dito na kami nakatira ng anak ko at minsan bumibista na lang at doon natutulog kaming mag-ina sa bahay ng parents ko. Lalo kapag hindi rin busy si daddy sa hospital. Gusto niya na nasa bahay din kami ni Bella dahil namimiss niya rin kami ng apo niya.

Nakasunod sa akin si Aaron papunta sa kwarto ni Bella. I opened the door to our daughter's cute pink bedroom. Sunod ko rin na binuksan ang mga ilaw doon. "Just put her on the bed. Mamaya ko na siya bibihisan."

"She must be tired from playing with kids her age at the venue earlier."

Tumango ako sa sinabi ni Aaron. "Oo nga."

Iniwan na muna namin si Bella sa loob ng room niya. Gabi na rin at nakapag-dinner na kami doon kanina sa reception.

"Do you want coffee?" I offered to Aaron.

Hindi pa naman siguro siya aalis agad...?

He nodded. "Yes, please. Thank you."

Tumango ako nagpaalam muna na papasok sa kusina. I started making Aaron's coffee. And then after that bumalik din ako agad sa living room ng condo kung saan ko siya iniwan muna.

"Thank you." ani Aaron pagkatapos kong maglapag ng tinimplang kape sa coffee table sa harap niya.

I just smiled.

We talked for a while as he finished his coffee. Tungkol lang kay Bella o sa mga trabaho namin. Aaron and I just talked like we're friends. Well, naging magkaibigan pa rin naman kami after our engagement was called off years ago. Ang akala ko pa nga noon ay magagalit sa akin si Aaron at hindi na kami makakapag-usap pa ngayon nang ganito.

But I also knew that he's an understanding person and reasonable. I thought he understood me back then... He understood what I wanted for us...

"I shall take my leave now." Tumayo na si Aaron at nagpapaalam nang aalis.

Tumango na lang ako at tumayo na rin para ihatid siya sa may pintuan...

"Bella said that you will be busy this weekend..." Wala kasi sana akong trabaho sa hospital, and I thought we could go out with our daughter. The three of us like a family...

Tumango si Aaron. "Yes. I have some important things to attend to at work."

"Kahit weekend?" Bahagyang nangunot ang noo ko. Madalas naman kasi na hindi nagtatrabaho si Aaron kapag linggo. Ako lang nga minsan ang may emergencies sa hospital.

He used to spend his weekends with our daughter...

Tumango si Aaron. He gave me an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. Kaya nagpaalam na rin ako kay Bella na magiging busy ako ngayong weekend, para hindi na rin magtampo ang bata..." He sighed.

I nodded. And gave him a smile. Siguro ay kailangan talaga si Aaron sa trabaho niya. At ayos lang naman iyon...

So on the weekend kami na lang dalawa ni Bella ang lumabas. Pinasyal ko siya sa mall and bought her new clothes and shoes, and toys. And other things that she might need. Minsan ko na lang din nagagawa ito na ipag-shopping ang anak ko. Palagi kasi talaga akong busy sa hospital. I sighed.

I should really take some leave from the hospital soon. Siguro ay pwedeng mag out-of-town kami ni Bella at ni Aaron...

"I like this one too, Mommy!" Bella hugged a stuffed toy to her chest.

Napangiti na lang ako at tumango. Hahayaan ko na lang muna siya. Besides I only get to spoil my daughter sometimes...

May nahagip nga lang ang mga mata ko habang pinapasyal ko si Bella sa mall. Natigilan ako at hindi ko na maalis ang mga mata ko sa nakita. Parang nag-ugat din ang mga paa ko sa kinatatayuan. As if I couldn't move and I couldn't get my eyes off of them...

Aaron was smiling while talking to and being with a woman I only saw for the first time. The woman looked pretty and sweet... She has this sweet smile for Aaron and Aaron was smiling to her, too... Ang ganda ng ngiti nila sa isa't isa...

Ang akala ko ba ay may important na gagawin ngayon si Aaron para sa trabaho niya. Reason why he can't be with me and Bella.

But now I would just see him here in the mall and he looked like he's having fun with other woman...

A woman he chose to be with today than me and our daughter...

I breathed. I feel like I wasn't able to breathe after what I saw. My chest hurt. The sight was painful to me. Parang hindi ko na alam ang gagawin pagkatapos...

"Mommy?"

Doon lang ako parang natauhan. Mabilis kong binalingan si Bella and she was already looking up to me. My eyes widened a fraction. I got scared for my daughter. I can bear getting hurt, but not my daughter! She would surely get hurt if she saw Aaron being with another woman...

Maagap kong inalis si Bella doon para hindi na niya makita si Aaron. Nagmamadali ako para makaalis na kami ng anak ko doon.

"Where are we going, Mommy?" My daughter innocently asked.

"Uh, I think we're done shopping, anak. Nabili na rin natin lahat ng needs mo for your project at school, right? Uh, I think we better go home now."

"But Bella's hungry now..."

Natigilan ako at napatingin sa anak ko. Mariin akong napapikit saglit. Oo nga pala at sinabi ko rin sa kaniya na kakain din kami dito sa mall pagkatapos mamasyal. "Uh, sa iba na lang tayo kumain, anak. Sa gusto mo pa rin, but sa ibang branch na nila. I think it's getting crowded here in the mall."

"Okay, Mommy..."

Pinilit kong ngumiti sa anak ko. I was holding her hand as we already made our way to the mall elevators. Pababa na kami sa basement nitong mall and into my car.

Nilagyan ko muna ng seatbelts si Bella sa backseat ng kotse ko. Pagkatapos ay pumasok na rin ako sa driver seat and started my car's engine before we drove away from the mall.

I tried to focus myself on the road. Bumabalik sa isip ko iyong nakita ko kanina si Aaron na may kasamang ibang babae... I feel like crying while driving. I just remained quiet.

"Are you okay, Mommy?"

Mabilis kong sinulyapan si Bella sa likod sa rear view mirror ng sasakyan namin. "M-Mommy's okay, sweetheart." I was scared my voice would break if I talk so I stayed quiet since we got here in the car. And it just did a little.

Huminga ako at kinalma ang sarili ko. I shouldn't worry my daughter. "I'm okay, sweetheart. Don't worry about Mommy. We're already nearing your fave restaurant! Yay! Is Bella already hungry?" I tried to sound jolly for my daughter.

Dapat kasi ay masaya lang ang pamamasyal naming ito... Minsan na nga lang and I don't want to ruin it for my daughter. Despite what happened earlier at the mall...

"Um-hum! Bella would eat fried chicken and spaghetti! And then Mommy will get Bella toys, too!"

I saw her grinned on the rear view mirror. Napangiti pa rin ako. "All right! Mommy will get Bella everything she wants..."

Bella immediately run into the fast food. Alam kong hindi healthy ang pagkain dito...but kids including my daughter really like it here. Kaya ayos na rin paminsan minsan. I ordered some Happy Meal for her that also includes a toy. And she was already happy about it. Napangiti na lang ako sa kasiyahan ng anak ko.

I let Bella eat and finish her food before we went home. At least my daughter was still happy today.

"Good night, Mommy..." Bella said in her already sleepy state.

"Goodnight, sweetheart." I kissed her forehead. Inayos ko rin ang bangs niya doon pagkatapos. At napangiti pa ako habang pinagmamasdan siyang matulog.

After putting Bella to bed, pumasok na rin ako sa kwarto ko. Dumeretso ako sa bathroom at naligo na rin muna. After taking a night bath I just wore a bathrobe. I went out of the shower and faced the large mirror inside my bathroom. Tiningnan ko ang sarili kong repleksyon sa salamin.

At parang naipon na sakit na ngayon ka lang napakawalan mula sa loob ko ay umiyak ang sa loob ng banyo. Because I couldn't cry a while ago because I was still with Bella and I don't want my child to worry about me. Despite I was really already in pain. I feel like I've been hurting already even before this. At tinatago ko na lang lahat sa loob ko. Because I wanted to think for the best for everyone... But if only I could be selfish I wouldn't allow myself to be hurt this way!

I cried. I sobbed. I tried to let the pain out... Kahit konti lang...

At pagkatapos nito, I can go on and continue to get hurt...