Chapter Nine

Doubt

I was left with mom inside my private hospital room when dad was called for a VIP patient. Tahimik kaming dalawa ni mommy hanggang magsalita siya. I turned to look at her with my eyes still swollen from crying. I have been crying in front of my parents. I feel like a failure to them. I feel like I just failed my parents who showed me nothing but love and care. "Hindi ka pala nakinig sa akin." Mommy said and I bowed my head as tears threatened to fall from my eyes again.

"I'm sorry, Mommy... Sorry po sa inyo ni Daddy." I said in a weak voice.

I heard mommy sighing. "Nand'yan na 'yan, Tristeen. What else can we do? I just want you to be responsible of the aftermath of your past actions. Especially now that you will become a mother. Do you understand?"

Nag-angat muli ako ng tingin kay mommy. I nodded but then I shook my head, too. And then I cried again. I sobbed. I clenched my fists on my hospital bed sheets. Walang nagawa si mommy kung 'di ang yakapin ako at aluin. "It's all right... I also didn't know what to do when I knew then that I was already pregnant with you. It wasn't easy. I got confused, too. I got scared. But when I think only of you, it as if all disappeared. Wala na akong ibang maisip kung 'di ang anak ko. You gave me strength, Tristeen. And I know that your child will do the same for you."

I cried in mommy's arms until I felt exhausted and I fell asleep. When I woke up again nasa kwarto ko na muli si daddy. Pwede na akong makalabas sa ospital at sinabi naman ng doctor na nag-check sa akin na magiging okay lang ako basta may sapat na pahinga at iwas sa stress. Pero hinihintay din namin ang sasabihin ni daddy. At hindi lang sila ni mommy ang nandoon nang magising ako. Tito Axel and Tita Eris were also there. And then my eyes moved to Aaron beside them. My lips parted.

"Hija," nag-aalala akong nilapitan ni Tita Eris nang makita niyang gising na ako.

"She's fine, Eris. Pagod din siya sa duties niya dito sa hospital at hindi namin alam na buntis na pala siya... Doctor Sanchez advised for her to get enough rest and she should also be away from stress." si mommy.

Bumaling si Tita Eris kay mommy. "Then, how about her duty? She's still attending med school. Dapat ba ay tumigil muna siya?"

Agad akong umiling. "No. Hindi po ako titigil, tita. Malapit ko na rin namang matapos. Sayang din..." humina ang boses ko.

Tita Eris turned to me again worriedly. "But, hija, baka makasama ito sa baby mo..." She managed to give me a smile.

Tumingin muli ako sa banda ni Aaron. He was quiet like daddy and Tito Axel. Pero sa huli ay lumapit din sa akin si tito to check on me, too. Daddy decided na iuuwi na muna ako sa bahay namin at pansamantalang iiwan na muna ang duty ko sa hospital. I got worried for my studies. Kailangan ko pa rin tapusin ang med school. I promised my parents and I promised myself. I want to become a doctor.

"May pag-uusapan pa kami ng anak ko, Axel. I think you and Eris should talk to Aaron, too."

I can feel dad being cold to Aaron. Hanggang nagsalita rin si Aaron. "I want to talk to Tristeen, too, tito."

"Not now. She just came out from the hospital. She need more rest. You can visit our house next time. I know that you two should talk but Tristeen need to rest for now."

"Your tito's right, Aaron. Tristeen," Hinanap muli ako ni Tita Eris. "Please rest well for now, hija. Mag-uusap muli tayo sa susunod. But for now you should take care of your health."

I just nodded slowly at Tita Eris. She gave me a gentle smile. Hindi ko na nga nakausap si Aaron. I went home with my parents after that. Binabantayan akong mabuti nina mommy at daddy sa bahay kaya nagpahinga nalang ako. Daddy also promised me na pag-uusapan din namin ang sa med school. For now they all wanted me to rest so I did.

After couple more days I was allowed to go out of our house and continue med school. Maliit pa naman ang tiyan ko at hindi naman maselan ang pagbubuntis. But I also promised dad na kapag nahirapan ako ay hihinto nalang talaga muna ako for the sake of my baby. My baby... I think I still can't believe it. I'm really pregnant.

Naisip kong dumaan sa mall nang araw na iyon. To relax a bit. Matagal na rin pala since I last went shopping. Later tonight Aaron and his family will be at our home to talk. I still don't know yet what happened to Sophie or what will happen to her... I also feel guilty. Girlfriend pa rin siya ni Aaron and I feel like I ruined a relationship. But it's not just me. Kaming dalawa ni Aaron ang may gawa nito. He also wasn't faithful to her... Alam kong mali. May mali kaming dalawa ni Aaron. At nasaktan ko rin si Sophie. I hope I can still talk to her and apologize no matter if she will accept my apology or not.

I was just thinking about her when I saw Sophia Miguel at the mall. Pumasok ako sa nakitang baby boutique sa loob ng mall at natuwa sa mga maliliit na damit pambata. I didn't know yet if it's a boy or a girl. I think it was still early to know. But I think I can now feel that there's really a baby already growing in my stomach. I can already feel my baby. I held onto my still flat stomach.

"Look who's here." Pumasok sa loob ng boutique na iyon si Sierra at kasama niya si Sophie. Siguro ay napadaan din sila at nakita nila ako dito sa loob.

Hindi ko inasahan iyon kaya natigilan ako. Sierra's my ex friend. Simula noong umalis noon si Aaron ay hindi na talaga niya ako kinausap. Hindi na kami nag-usap. Reason why si Ava nalang ang naging kaibigan ko mula rin noon. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sila magkasama ni Sophie. Are they friends? Kailan pa? Ang akala ko ay sa ibang bansa lumaki si Sophie. At siguro nga ay umuwi lang siya dito sa Pilipinas dahil din kay Aaron...

"Ang mang-aagaw." Sierra said in front of me with disgust on her face. She's wearing her usual expensive clothing and bag. Maayos din ang mukha niyang may make up. Ganoon din halos ang ayos ni Sophie. While maybe I looked plain and boring right now dahil parang wala akong ganang mag-ayos talaga kanina bago ako umalis ng bahay. As long as I looked presentable enough ay umalis na ako. Wala rin halos make up ang mukha ko so maybe I looked pale. Pinagmasdan ni Sierra ang mukha ko. "You look sick!" aniyang parang nandidiri sa akin. "Oh! Oo nga pala. You're now pregnant with Aaron's child. You've succeeded! Ang galing mo rin talaga, Tristeen."

Ayaw ko nalang siyang pagtuonan ng pansin. I turned to Sophie beside her who remained quiet. "Let's go, Sierra." Sinubukan niyang hilahin si Sierra paalis pero mukhang marami pa itong sasabihin sa akin.

"Yes, we should go now, Sophie. I know you're still broken-hearted because of this woman, mang-aagaw. From being a cheater you turned into a home wrecking whore now—"

I can't anymore stop myself. Hindi ako papayag na ganituhin lang ako. I knew that I might have really done something wrong. Pero tingin ko ay wala siyang karapatan. Especially to call me names. Sino ba siya? "I see. You, too, Sierra. From being my close friend before, I didn't know that you've become a friend now to Aaron's new girlfriend?" Matapang akong bumaling kay Sophie habang natatahimik naman si Sierra. "As I think you already know it, yes I'm now pregnant. But that doesn't mean aagawin ko na nang tuluyan sa 'yo si Aaron... Dahil lang buntis ako. I won't force Aaron to marry me just because we're expecting a child. He can still decide on his own. I can manage to take care of myself and my child without him. I'd want to talk to you and apologize..." Muli akong tumingin ng mariin kay Sierra. I know that I shouldn't act this way towards Sophie. Alam kong may kasalanan din ako sa kaniya. But I can't help it with the traitor Sierra. "But, mag-ingat ka sa babaeng ito." Tukoy ko kay Sierra na hindi pa rin nakapagsalita. "She may be your friend right now, pero baka hindi na rin if things between you and Aaron wouldn't go well..." Bahagya rin akong natigilan sa sinasabi. Pero nagpatuloy ako dahil naiinis talaga ako kay Sierra. "Baka hindi mo na rin siya maging kaibigan. Gaya lang din sa nangyari sa amin noon. You see she was my close friend back then. But when Aaron and I broke up years ago she also ended our friendship. Bakit kaya? Maybe nasa tabi mo na pala ang totoong mang-aagaw, Sophia... But maybe, she just doesn't stand a chance still until now." I smirked at Sierra who's face became red with anger.

"Excuse me, I have to go." At iniwan ko na silang dalawa doon. Nagmadali na rin ako sa pag-alis. I can't risk my baby's health just because of that bitchy Sierra.

At totoo ang sinabi ko ngayon kay Sophie. Nakapag-isip isip ako. I decided na hindi ko pipilitin si Aaron. I know that he has doubts. Pinagdudahan niya kung kanya talaga itong dinadala ko. So I won't really force him. If he won't acknowledge our child then I think it's okay. Of course nagagalit ako sa kaniya. Pero tingin ko ay ayaw ko na rin ipilit pa. Tingin ko ay lalo lang masasaktan ang anak ko kapag nalaman niyang pinagdududahan siya ng daddy niya. Masyado na ring magulo. Alam kong kagagawan ko rin ito kaya susubukan kong ayusin.