Sekai followed Haruhi Fujioka into some music room. He'd seen her in the library earlier, and he was pretty sure that she'd taken one of his books on accident. All he had to do was politely ask for it back, and they could go about their separate ways...
"Hey, Fujioka," Sekai said, but Haruhi, who had completely lost track of her surroundings, stumbled.
"Hey, watch out!" Sekai winced in anticipation, and then it happened as he predicted.
Crash.
The vase hit the ground, and Sekai cringed. Well, I saw that coming. Sucks to be her. Let's get out while I still can...
Life, unfortunately, had other plans, and it drove Haruhi and Sekai straight into the slavery of the host club.
&&&
Every time one of the host club members had a lightbulb come into existence above their heads, they each cast Sekai a knowing glance, to which Sekai just stared back blankly.
"What?" he asked, glaring. "Is my face not to your liking?"
"No, no, nothing like that," Kyoya said, smirking. "Just realize..." He leaned close, his mouth nearer to Sekai's ear than Sekai preferred, and all he really wanted to do was shove Kyoya out of his personal bubble, but he was pretty sure that would cost him more yen. And yes, he had somehow been roped into some ridiculous clause that required him to pay an exorbitant fee to the host whatever. "That I know your secret," Kyoto finished, his eyes narrowed, entertained.
"What secret?" Sekai asked, genuinely confused. "I have a secret?"
"Exactly," Kyoya said with a wink before walking away.
It's their first time meeting me. Isn't it obvious that they wouldn't know everything about me? Whatever.
"Okay, everybody take a seat! We're about to open!" the blonde thing shouted. He annoyed Sekai, too. Actually...all of them did.
Even the tall one who never said anything. He annoyed Sekai less than the others, but the fact that he was tall pissed Sekai off. And yes, Sekai felt he was allowed to be mad at random genetic occurrences.
He looked around and found an empty table, sitting down and propping his feet up on the table, crossing his arms behind his neck.
"You there!!" the blonde one shrieked. "Those are silk!! From India!! And the table is pure mahogany!!"
Kyoya just shook his head.
That was when the doors parted and released the flood...of girls.
Sekai watched in amusement as girls flocked to Emotional Basketcase, Glasses, Strong and Silent, Loli, and the Devil Twins. He observed as they laughed and cried and fussed over and fawned over the other boys.
Then Sekai just burst out laughing, a sharp, acrid sound.
"You!! Stop that unpleasant noise!!" Emotional Basketcase yelled at you, his blonde hair flapping in the fangirl breeze.
"Right, right," Sekai acquiesced before getting to his feet and stretching. "Okay, I'm done here."
"No you're not!!" Basketcase cried out. "You're a temporary host!!"
"HE'S a host?!" a girl beside him yelled. "But he's nowhere near as perfect as my Tamaki!"
Sekai just laughed.
&&&
Short story, the angry fan girls ended up upending a teapot over Sekai, catching Haruhi in the spillover.
The two went to change, and the other hosts happened to peek in just as Sekai was handing a pink tank top to Haruhi, as he'd known that she was a girl right now.
And they somehow came to an interesting conclusion...
"You guys are...girls?!"

A/N: I'm going to gloss over some canon stuff and change a bit to suit my story. No haters please. Enjoy