❛I need advice❜

Text Messages

Cole nasty water jug hoe
Dylan closet party pimp
Blair animal crossing bitch

nasty water jug hoe
i think you guys need to meet my costar kj

closet party pimp
is that the new zealand one?

nasty water jug hoe
yeah he's hot

closet party pimp
i'm straight
are you trying to set me up with him?
blair's still dating british boy

animal crossing bitch
IDK about that anymore
I actually need your help with that

nasty water jug hoe
kj is pretty funny
he's a big fan of madame hydra for some reason
he wants to meet you b

closet party pimp
wait cole shut up

nasty water jug hoe
don't tell me to shut up video game design major

closet party pimp
bitch blair needs us we have obligations as older brothers to kick the asses of those who hurt our little sister

animal crossing bitch
Thank you, Dylan

nasty water jug hoe
i didn't see her message!

closet party pimp
it's like being twins with a lamp post

animal crossing bitch
LMAO

nasty water jug hoe
okay whatever
you're the human embodiment of a couch cushion

animal crossing bitch
Can we talk about me for a few minutes?
I need advice

nasty water jug hoe
yes yes go ahead sorry

closet party pimp
what's going on sis

animal crossing bitch
IDK if it's a guy thing because I haven't had a serious boyfriend since Ross and he wasn't like this but Tom left me on read last week and hasn't messaged me back since then.

closet party pimp
what happened?

animal crossing bitch
I found out weeks ago that Marvel was planning a movie for me because I got the call when Tom was visiting. But I didn't tell him because Marvel asked me to keep it secret for a while so they could work out the details and when they released the news to the public last week, Tom asked me why I didn't tell him and when I explained what Marvel asked me to do he seemed kind of annoyed that I didn't share it with him and when I asked him how his day was he left me on read.
IDK
Am I overreacting?
I'm totally overreacting, aren't I?
I just reorganized my entire trailer.

nasty water jug hoe
no, blair you aren't overreacting

closet party pimp
yeah no
idk what the hell is going on with tom but
you aren't overreacting

animal crossing bitch
What do I do?

closet party pimp
i'll call him

animal crossing bitch
Not a good idea, Dyl

nasty water jug hoe
i'll do it

animal crossing bitch
No guys, I'm serious

closet party pimp
Tom is probably offended that you didn't
tell him even though Marvel asked you not
to and obviously there are contracts that ensure you don't share that information unless
you have permission.
But it isn't fair for him to be mad at you

nasty water jug hoe
I'm sure he will get over himself

closet party pimp
AND IF HE DOESN'T then you don't deserve that you deserve someone who responds and
doesn't do petty shit like this

nasty water jug hoe
that's it. i'm calling him

animal crossing bitch
Cole, no! Seriously!

closet party pimp
you deserve the world, blair
i was really glad to see you so happy with tom and what you guys share is real but you deserve total happiness

animal crossing bitch
What the hell is Cole doing?

closet party pimp
idk at this point
hold on

-

Text Messages

Cole archeology major tf
Dylan ugly twin

ugly twin
what's going on? did you really call tom?

archeology major tf
of course i did
who do you think i am?
mr moseby raised us better

ugly twin
oh god blair is gonna lose it
she's totally gonna lose it cole
shouldn't we not be making her freak out?
she can't handle that
her OCD is gonna increase severity

archeology major tf
shut the fuck up for a minute
i got his voicemail
british sounding ass

ugly twin
so what kind of flowers do you want at our joint funeral? we can do a joint one, right?
that will save a lot of money
i'm thinking daisies
keep it light, ya know?
🌸

archeology major tf
okay can you stop freaking out for five fucking minutes?
weak ass

ugly twin
i'm gonna ignore that because this is a stressful time
blair is blowing up my phone cole
god this is why everyone likes me more

archeology major tf
finally
tom just texted me back

ugly twin
so he can text you back and not blair? huh
iNtErEsTiNg

archeology major tf
he says he's on a plane right now to visit blair

ugly twin
are you joking?

archeology major tf
no he says he's surprising her and the plane is about to take off so he can't call me but
he would like me to know that he wants us to not tell blair any of this and that he is sorry for making her freak out
oh he needed to get days off of filming so he didn't tell blair anything because he didn't want to get her hopes up

ugly twin
awww that's so sweet
ugh i gained a newfound respect for that man
ok fine i ship it #BOM

archeology major tf
i hate u

ugly twin
yeah

archeology major tf
so what do we tell blair

ugly twin
nothing
we just say that your call went to voicemail
and you didn't leave one
and that she needs to wait a few more
days before doing anything

archeology major tf
solid plan okay
he just went to visit her last month
his directors must hate him

ugly twin
he's the star of a movie
that's more than we can say
i'm sure his directors are fine

archeology major tf
we should try to score our way onto set

ugly twin
okay i'm gonna text blair now

-

Text Messages

Cole nasty water jug hoe
Dylan closet party pimp
Blair animal crossing bitch

animal crossing hoe
Hello?
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
I'm going to kill you both OMG

closet party pimp
sorry woman we are back

nasty water jug hoe
i called tom

animal crossing bitch
Cole! I asked you not to!

nasty water jug hoe
yes but it is our job to protect you from douchebags
and it went to voicemail anyway
he sounded extra british if it means anything 🫖 ☕️

animal crossing hoe
It doesn't but okay

nasty water jug hoe
sorry b

closet party pimp
cole you're the worst
blair why don't you give it a few more days?
like two or three, okay? if he still hasn't called you then i'll come visit you and we can figure this out

animal crossing bitch
Okay I guess

closet party pimp
yes okay! awesome! progress!
see? progress is good!
are you taking your meds?

animal crossing bitch
Yes everyday

nasty water jug hoe
that's our sister! we love you b!

animal crossing bitch
I love you guys, too ❤️
Thank you for listening to me

closet party pimp
you can call us about anything sis

animal crossing bitch
I know that!

closet party pimp
how is D2 going?

animal crossing bitch
Really well! We just filmed Sofia and I's song and it was awesome! I'm biased but it's my favorite one on the entire soundtrack

nasty water jug hoe
do you have any bts photos? those are always fun to see

animal crossing bitch
Yeah I do! I'll send them when I get the chance. They just called everyone onto set so I have to get going
But I really appreciate you guys talking to me
I feel a lot better about this
I texted Franny and she wasn't very happy

nasty water jug hoe
mm franny is a joy

animal crossing bitch
For real yeah
Okay I really have to go
I love you guys!

closet party pimp
i love you b!

nasty water jug hoe
i love you blair!

okay so kj
so hot

closet party pimp
do you have something to tell me?

nasty water jug hoe
keep your options open dylan
no i like lili
remember i told you about lili?

closet party pimp
yes i remember
you know kj is really hot
let's talk about him. is he single?