IF ANYONE NEEDS ME I'LL BE ON THE FLOOR MELTING INTO A PUDDLE OF TEARS!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~ Spoilers for season 4 episode 4 ahead ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Dude, seriously. You've been warned. If you haven't watched it, BYE!~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~WAIT, COME BACK WHEN YOU HAVE!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a jumbled mess, so have fun with that!

First of all, SCREW RUMPLESTILTSKIN.

Secondly, can we just take a moment to appreciate the wonderful, amazing, PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL thing that is Captain Swan? Because I mean, really. I can't with them.

Like, who remembers when she tied him to a pole in the giant's palace?

And said she didn't trust him? (Two seasons later: "Of course I trust you!" Be still, my shipper heart!)

And who remembers when we freaked out when they had one kiss?

And now we have what? Neverland, New York failed TLK, When she saved his ass from drowning, (THEIR LIPS TOUCHED DON'T JUDGE) Past Hook kiss, (yes I count it. IT WAS KILLIAN!) Then outside of Granny's in the finale, then in the forest, then in THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET, the outside her parents' apartment. That's like... OMFG 8!!!!

REMEMBER AFTER THEIR FIRST KISS???

Killian: That was...

Emma: A one time thing

lol I don't think you even tried, sister (annnd... I'm becoming Leroy)

Why am I typing in bold?

Oh well, too late to switch now.

Anyway, guys, he asked her out again! This means that they are officially a COUPLE!!!

Emma Swan and Killian Jones are TOGETHER!

Emma is his girlfriend.

He is her boyfriend.

They held hands again.

Like TWO MORE TIMES.

This is taking more than a moment.

On with the episode!!!

As I said, I WANT RUMPLESTILTSKIN DEAD!!!

...AGAIN...

Ugh I really thought he'd changed and I was this close to not hating him:

--> <--

But, NOPE. I'm so DONE with his crap.

Dude, lay off.

Buddy, I get it, you're jealous.

Killian is a babe. Your father was a babe when he was young.

But you aren't.

At least it's an improvement from the lizard skin...

Seriously though, you mess with my OTP I run you through with your stupid "wavy knife" as Anna so cleverly put it.

Nobody manipulates Killybear.

Nobody threatens to kill Emma.

DANMIT DARK ONE!

Next up: Will Scarlet.

If you haven't watched Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, you have no idea who he is.

Well, let me tell you, I LIKE HIM A HELL OF A LOT MORE THERE!!!

Good god, what HAPPENED to him???

Also, did anyone catch the title of that book he seemed to like a little too much?

"Sleep with me, booky!!!"

It was called "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and anyone who's seen OUATIW would know that's what the book Alice wrote is called.

And that page he tore out?

A picture of his wife.

WHERE IS ANASTASIA BTW???

Tell me she's dead, I DARE YOU!!

So yeah, my current opinion on Drunk Dude?

Buddy, you crashed the date, but you saved Killian's ass, so you're forgiven, just stay in jail and we won't have any issues.

I also LOVED Anna in this episode.

She's perfect and Elizabeth Lail is just so... Anna.

Oh, and KRISTANNA!!!!!

Regina and Henry was nice too, though operation mongoose kinda makes me mad cause mongooses are the natural enemies of cobras. Very funny, Regina.

Also, HENRY WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, RUMPLE WILL MURDER YOU, CHILD!

So... That's all I can manage to type before I spontaneously combust of Captain Swan feels.

Thank you for reading, friends. This is a mess and I've no idea how you read this entire thing...

Please bear with me as I attempt to survive the rest of season 4, because though it's by far the best season so far, I've cried far too much and I'm nowhere near done.

Love you all

~Jillchair8e