"Well, what are you going to do?" Kacey asks me after I fill her in about Alex.

"I'm not going to call him." I say as I look down at his card continuing to pace back and forth, while Kacey watches from the couch.

"You're being ridiculous." Kacey isn't one to hold anything back. "It's just a date. He isn't like he's asking you to marry him."

"I can't think straight when I'm around him." I admit. "Every time I see him, I imagine his naked body under his clothes. And every time I hear his voice I remember what it sounds like filled with lust while we would fuck."

I can't stop myself from thinking about him. How his crooked smile, made my whole body erupt with goosebumps. How he always paid attention to my wants. My needs.

She looks at me knowingly.

"I can only imagine what would happen if I went on a date with him. I would lose all sensibility." I confess as I join her on the couch.

"Like you have been doing such a good job already." She shakes her head, laughing.

"I know! That's why I can't add anything romantic to this." I say hesitantly. "I don't think I could handle it." I shake my head, "I know I can't handle it." I correct, not making eye contact with her.

"I feel like there is something you aren't telling me." She says gauging my reaction.

I turn toward her on the couch and take a deep breath.

"That break up was hard on me." I reveal. "I know I said I bounced back pretty quickly after because I knew breaking up with him was for the best. Especially when I wanted kids and he didn't. So I just accepted and moved on." I give a dry chuckle "If only it was that simple."

"Break ups are hard." She says sympathetically. "Especially when it's your longest relationship. And your only serious relationship. You can't keep denying that it wasn't."

I smack my lips together. "Which is why I've been struggling." I take another deep breath. "When I broke up with him, he didn't try." I say disappointment filling my whole body. "He just left." I shrug my shoulders in defeat. "He never once reached out... to fight for me, or even try to get closure. I even reached out. Twice. It was complete radio silence."

"Sweetie," she says pulling me in for a hug. "I'm so sorry." She says as she is rubbing my back.

"If he would have tried, I would have taken him back." I whisper to her. Finally admitting out loud and to myself how deeply I felt for Alex all those years ago.

I give her one more squeeze before pulling away.

She looks at me with sincerity in her eyes, not saying anything.

"But he didn't." I say breaking the silence. "And here we are. Him back in my life and wanting to give me some sort of explanation. While I am trying to protect my heart, but my damn hormones can't control themselves."

"I think you should reach out." She says giving her two cents. Which of course I'm not surprised. "Just for you to get some closure." She justifies. "I think it would be good for you." She says smiling.

"I'll think about it." I say honestly.

"Okay, so what should we watch on this fine Saturday night?" Kacey says looking through our list.

*_*_*

I'm in bed staring at Alex's number. This has been my routine since he gave it to me, a whole week ago; get ready for bed, stare and contemplate reaching out, deciding against it and going to bed only to have a dreamless sleep.

Almost 7 days I have had this. And I've done nothing.

I get where Kacey is coming from, but I don't want to put myself in a situation I'm not ready to handle.

I think it's clear I am definitely one that is not emotionally mature. I run away from commitment, I make all possible relationships physical to hide... I don't know what.

I wish I could say there is an underlying factor that caused me to be this way. But there isn't. My parents are happily married, so I have no idea how I turned out this way. I never had a bad break up which ruined men for me, besides my break up with Alex. But I had these issues before then.

My phone vibrates on the night table next to me.

I grab it and read the text message.

: I thought I would stack my chances and reach out to you first. So what about that date?

Alex.

Ugh. Why am I smiling?

Me: No

Alex: Please? I really want to explain everything.

Me: What's in it for me?

Alex: Well... I can tell you what I hope will happen, but that really depends on if you say yes... and how you respond to what I have to say.

I put my phone down next to me and think.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to know. Maybe I should just rip the bandaid off.

Me: Fine.

Alex: Really?

Me: Yes, but it's not a date. And we're meeting at my place. Then you can say your peace and then leave.

Alex: I don't think it will be that simple.

Me: It can be if you don't make it complicated.

Alex: I would prefer somewhere public. I don't think us being alone at your place is a good idea.

Me: And why is that?

Alex: I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you. I don't even know how I've restrained myself for this long. Seeing you every day at pick up, in those dresses. The things I would to do you.

My eyes widen and my mouth is suddenly dry as I stare at the brazen text message.

Me: If you think of that at a school, do you really think a public place will stop you?

Alex: There is a difference between thinking and doing.

He texts again before I can respond

Alex: Jackie, if I came over to your house, there would be no holding back. As soon as you would open the door I'd pin you against the wall. I would show you exactly what you do to me. I'm hard just thinking about it.

Lynn, you horny bitch.

I don't want him to stop, but I can't make it easy for him.

Me: What makes you think I would even let you in?

I type with a smirk.

Alex: I know exactly what to do to make you drip for me, I'd do exactly like I always did that had you begging for me.

My head falls back after reading the text message. I see the three blue dots telling me he is still typing.

Alex: As soon as I kissed you there would be no argument. After tasting your mouth, I'd make my way to your ear. You always loved it when I would nibble and lick it. You were so impatient. The second my mouth was on your ear, your legs would wrap around me, my hard cock rubbing you through my pants.

I remember I'd purposely wear dresses or skirts around him... with no underwear. It made it easier for me to pounce.

Alex: I can hear your moan in my head right now. I'd move to your breasts next, you'd always like that— how I'd flick your nipples with my tongue. Your hands pulling at my roots, cheering me on. Do you remember?

Yes. Using one hand I tweak a hard nipple while I use the other to hold my phone to continue reading his filthy sexy words.

Alex: When my mouth finally made it's way down to your dripping aching core, you were puddy in my hands.

Me: You and I remember things very differently.

Lies.

Of course I remember. He was so attentive to my needs. Which probably is why I have such a big sexual appetite.

He literally ruined me for any man. Every sexual encounter since him was just 'enough'.

But when it was with him, he leaves me sated. Yet I still craved him constantly.

He definitely knew what he was doing. His tongue always mercilessly torturing me in such a seductive way making me lose my words; leaving me only being able to beg and moan.

And let's not even forget his most prized asset. That 'third leg' of his. Not only was he big and thick, but he knew exactly what to do with it.

From my experience, men with big dicks think that's enough; it's not.

But Alex is different. His cock was not only big, but it was like a magic wand, hitting all the right spots inside me making me scream in pleasure. Every. Fucking. Time.

My phone dings, bringing me back to reality.

I'm panting.

Alex: Is that so? Maybe I need to remind you.

As soon as I read the text, I hear a knock on my door.

I look at the time; 11 pm. I didn't realize it was this late.

I have an idea on who it might be.

And I sure hope I'm right.

I get out of bed and look in my mirror before leaving. He will not be able to resist my thin strapped, silk night gown, with sheer lace at the top covering my breasts. The skirt of it barely covering my naked ass.

As I make my way to the door, I suddenly get very nervous.

I really hope he doesn't want to talk right now.

I guess I will just need to bring the charm.

I look through the peep hole and see a very worked up Alex. I can't hold back my smile. He must have been in bed as he is wearing grey sweatpants and a T-shirt. His hair looks like he has been combing through it with his fingers. He is rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet impatiently as he waits for me to come to the door.

I quickly rearrange the girls one more time. I make sure to roll my shoulders back and push my tits out. I know he can never resist these puppies.

I open the door only a little, an innocent smile on my face. I'm trying to pretend I am not freaking excited he is at my door right now.

"Alex?" I feign surprise, "what are you doing—"

Before I can finish, he pushes through the door and does exactly what he promised, his mouth finds mine. Both our tongues are battling for control. I am totally fine with him taking control, but he's gotta work for it.