So after #Metoo moment I Lali Guptha brings you the #Baattohkaro moment Ok it’s not a real thing but it’s defiantly a really, really important thing. Ok I first heard this term in the trailer of the movie Kandhani shafakana the video is provided below:

And as you can see the movie is about a girl who runs a sex clinic and the problems she face because most of the people are hesitated to talk about sex.

So I have already written an article called ‘Is sex a crime’ which is about the people and their hesitation to talk about sex and the negative effects it has on the society. But it’s not just about sex there are a lot of things which we Indians do not talk about like menstruations, condoms, sexual desires, vagina, puberty hair, inner garments, homo sexuality most of the girls can’t even say it out loud when she find a guy attractive.

I mean seriously yaar we are in the 21’st century and following the rules and regulations set by the people from the 18’th century  actually the people who belong to the stone age is way better than us because they used to express their feelings more openly than we do now.

Let’s come to the film industry for a second just look at our censor board they can allow a movie like 3 idiots to have a scene with 10 to 20 guys walking around in their underwear without any filter at all but at the same time blur a bra which is laying on the bed in the movie queen. I mean there are hundreds of scenes in movies with women in their swimsuits, bra panties and bikinis but as soon as the boobs are out of the bra, bra suddenly becomes a dirty thing which has to be blurred on screen.

Ok hear this I spend 2 years of my life writing a book about how love and friendship are different from one another and in the movie stree they called Sex friendship, I mean seriously who the hell calls sex friendship? Imagine your boyfriend telling you this ‘baby let’s make some babies by doing some friendship’ are you freaking out of your mind?
It’s not just sex which has such horrible substitutes like you know what some girls call menstruation PMS, cranky monkey, Mr. Red, chunks, some girls even say ‘Meri aunty ayi hai’ (My aunty has come) this is a whole new level of craziness I tell you. Ladies you just have your periods you are not doing drug deals.

If you have watched this series called Virgin women diaries there is a dialogue a girl says when her boyfriend is hesitated to buy condoms and instead of calling condoms, condoms spell out the word C.O.N.D.O.M.S she says “It’s called condoms na balik chichore haak se mango na bhaiya ek kamasutra ka condom dena dotted ribber ya flavoured”

I mean is it that hard? It’s just condoms forget condoms one day I was at a mall with my friend and her sister called and asked her to get a packet of sanitary napkins and  she said no when I enquired on why she did that she said she was ashamed to go into a super market and buy pads. I mean it’s not a secret that most of the girls purchase sanitary pads like they are buying some kind of drugs. This should be avoided, not only girls every guy should be courageous enough to go and purchase pads and even every girl should be courageous enough to go and buy condoms for their partners.

Most of the guys say a girl is a mystery she is a puzzle that we cannot solve. I think this happens mostly because most of the girls do not express themselves most of the girls don’t open up much to a guy also. It’s because from childhood onwards there is a huge set of rules and regulations set for us and we are expected to behave in a certain way. And mostly that leads to many problems. 

Like once my mom said to me that no matter what happens you should never propose to a guy because there are chances that the guy will think you are a slut if you do so. But as far as I know there are guys who think it’s a good thing that you express your feelings openly and don’t consider you a slut.

If you guys might have seen the movie pink in the movie Tapsee’s character is being called a sex worker just because she made a sexual joke. I mean seriously if I talk about sex how the hell does that mean that I want to have sex with you? It just means that I making a joke. And if a guy tries to sexually assault you just because you made a joke about sex then kick his balls instead of keeping quite. Most of the girls keep quiet and suffer problems such as eve teasing, sexual harassments, rapes and marital rapes just because the society will blame them instead. Dear girls you don’t have to tolerate anything just speak up. Never ever tolerate anything of this sort.

So I just wanna say that I have done many mistakes in my life like till class 12 when I took leave due to menstruation I used to lie to the guys in the class that I had fever or something, I always kept quite whenever I was a victim of eve teasing, never made sexual jokes or talked about sex in public, for a long time I didn’t even had the courage to tell people that I was a feminist because I didn’t wanted anyone judging me.

I know trying to talk about everything to people can be hard, like once I tried to consider my mom’s opinion before dating a guy and she came up with such horrible comments:

“Isn’t this guy shorter than you? How can you date him?”

“His birthday is on July he is one month younger than you can’t date him”

“Another religion don’t even consider that”

“This guy don’t even look good he looks like a flirt don’t date him”
“I think you should date this guy because his mom is cute and he don’t even talk about sex”

I mean seriously mom I wanna fall in love with a guy, I don’t wanna marry his mom. And just because he is of the same religion, has a good height, good looks and elder than me there is no guaranty that he will love me forever. But it just takes some hard work I can convince my mom about the guy I wanna date. Someday I will also prove to her that marital rape is a real thing. I know most of the people reading this don’t know what marital rape which is another problem is caused due to lack of communication.

I just wanna say that I am a girl I get horny during my periods, I check out guys, and read a lot of chicklit novels on wattpad and I am a true feminist and I will not hesitate talking about anything related to my life and if there is anyone out there who has faced problems due to the lack of communication, and know any other topics about which people don’t communicate can tell me their stories and I will post it here with the #Baattokaro.

Waiting for your reply,

With love,
Lali Guptha/ Aiswarya Vinod.