sorry you got the wrong key to this heart of mine 

this isn't a lock you can pick with a hairpin like in the movies 

this isn't a movie

I know, it's taken me a while to figure that out too

in movies we all have our archetypes 

our places to be 

our lines

instructions never seemed to be mine to follow though 

I was never love interest 

never protagonist 

always unintentional antagonist 

the one so messed up that whenever he snares someone in he toys with them 

texts sent at one pm

I see them at two 

I answer at three

fear has it's brittle hands twisted up in my heartstrings 

it braids my hair 

it plays me like a violin, picking the saddest song you can think of 

and I've played puppet for so long that I've forgotten than there's anything else

sent 

seen 

answered

sleep 

repeat 

this cycle has me trapped 

has me dancing around topics I'm scared of

looks like fear of commitment is contagious and so are lies

I've felt enough of both for a lifetime 

so when nothing feels real 

and there's no way out

and when letting go feels like trying to grab lightning before it disappears or sets a house on fire

I have nothing to say 

besides I'm sorry