Two years later.

I loved my job. I had been working here for the past three years ever since graduation and I had no complaints. It wasn't exactly my dream job but it was what i felt most fulfilled doing. It allowed me to meet new people and help them. I mainly worked with teenagers and kids. I was more of a guidance counselor than a psychiatrist because to become a certified psychiatrist I needed like eight more years of school and work and I didn't have it in me to do more schooling. I opted for the next best thing. I worked with a non profit organization that worked with communities to help the less privileged. To put it simply I helped kids who were from the rougher parts see a future in education and good behavior rather than crime and drugs. I couldn't help everyone but I really did try to. Those that I did manage to help made me feel fulfilled and those that I couldn't I prayed for them and hoped for the best. My work was fulfilling and made me feel that I was contributing something to the society.

Today had been no different and I was waiting for my last appointment of the day. My office building was located in a pretty nice area but close enough to where all my clients came from. To make my office less intimidating I made sure to make it more age appropriate for my clients. Instead of a desk and stiff chairs I had bean bags and fluffy pillows with a small coffee table. I did have a desk but it was pushed to one corner. I had posters on my walls of people this kids admire like musicians and actors. To be honest I was a fan of them too. I also had candy bars and sweets in a bowl, a few games so we could play while we talked like a few Rubik's cube that had never been solved but it was fun to try, Jenga wooden blocks, dice games and cards too. I was a cool counsellor if I do say so myself.

I also made sure to dress less formal to avoid intimidating the my clients. Today was no different because I was dressed in Nike sweatpants, a matching hoodie and beanie with black sneakers. There was a knock on the door and I immediately welcomed them in. Time to get down to business.

In walked in a young man aged fourteen and his dad who I wasn't quite sure of his age but he was definitely around forty or more. They looked very alike but there was tension given by the distance between them.

"Miss Irungu. Am just here to drop off Sam." The older man, Mr. Njogu as I call him spoke first.

"I don't need dropping off." Sam grunted as he dropped himself in the bean bag opposite me.

"Well we don't want a repeat of last time do we?" His dad asked.

"It was one time dad, one time." At least he called him dad this time which means I was making progress. He usually had some very colorful words to describe his dad with.

"Until you show some responsibility I'll be dropping you off and picking you up to prevent you from avoiding sessions and going to the arcade with your friends. Now if you'll excuse me Sam, Miss Irungu I'll see you both when the session is over." He excused himself and left closing the door behind him.

I had been silent during the whole exchange to observe their relationship and how it was growing. When Sam was first brought here two months ago he was a wreck. He had just discovered weed and was hanging out with the wrong crowd. Believe me I have nothing against people who smoke weed because I do it myself occasionally, as long as you do it responsibly. Anyway Sam's grades dropped, he started skipping school and causing trouble for neighbors with stupid pranks and stealing money from his parents. His dad decided enough was enough and he brought him to me and I was seeing a difference in him. For example,during the first session he had he stood by the door the whole time without saying a word and when it was over he left so quickly it's as if he was on fire. Now he just comes sits, grabs a Rubik's cube and waits for the session to start. For me that's progress because it means he trusts me or he knows he has no option so he has to go along with it. Whatever the case for me it's growth.

"Dad huh?" I asked teasing him.

"Stop it." The young man said avoiding eye contact.

"I can't because first it's my job to observe these things and second the last time you called him "Your sperm donor"." I commented quoting him.

"Yeah well put it down in your books that I called him dad today." Sam said looking up.

He was being sarcastic but I just nodded and smiled.

"Already done. It's all in here." I said tapping my temple.

Another thing I did different was avoid taking notes during our session. Kids felt more intimidated if they saw you writing down everything they said. So I just sat with them and we talked and I summarized our sessions when they left.

"Make any new friends?" I asked to break the silence.

He shook his head but I knew he was lying because as soon as I asked that question he shifted in his seat and his movements in the cube halted.

"Is it a girl or a boy?" I asked.

"Are you a psychic or something?" He asked looking up.

"So there is someone? Tell me all about then." I asked.

" Nope."

"You know how this goes. You either tell me or we can sit in silence for the whole session and ill ask you the same thing next time and the cycle will continue until you decide to talk." I informed him.

He exhaled loudly and straightened up. I bit my lip to hide my smile because I knew I had won.

"I'll tell you but it doesn't mean anything." He defended.

I raised my arms in surrender " You're the boss." I declared and he smiled.

Sam was a great kid. His only fault was his ego. Feed that and he'll give you what you want. Insult his ego and you'll get the rough side of him. I had learnt how and when to do what when it came to that ego of his to get what I wanted from him. Calling him the boss to me was feeding his ego so he felt in control of the situation. He wasn't really but it would hurt for him to think he was as long as I got what I wanted from him.

"Okay so her name is Jane." He began.

"So it's a she huh?" I asked smiling and he blushed.

I think this Jane lady was more special than I thought.

"Yeah and before you assume anything nothing is going on. We are just new friends." He said getting defensive real quick meaning he had something to hide.

She was more than a friend.

"Am not assuming anything. Go on. Tell me more about this Jane girl who is just a new friend." I egged him on.

This time I insulted his ego a little to get a reaction from him and I did because he frowned.

"Yeah she wishes she was more than a friend." He grunted.

"She wished or you wish." I asked.

"She does." He replied his voice a little raised meaning he was getting agitated. Time to dial it down.

"Okay why don't you tell me about her. Like how you met and how old she is." I replied and he visibly relaxed. Not completely but enough to know that he had calmed down.

"She recently moved into our apartment building. She is the same age as me and enrolled into my school and was put in my class. It's as if I can't escape her." He ranted out.

"Is she pretty?" I asked.

"Yeah very pretty. She has long brown hair and big eyes like those of a cat. She has brown skin and she dresses. nice." He said getting a little lost in his head. Bingo.

Sam here had a crush on his new neighbor and classmate. Maybe she would keep him occupied enough to keep him out of trouble.

"So have you talked to Jane?" I asked him.

"Yeah we talk. We walk to school together sometimes. She is a great listener and I like hanging out with ." He explained and I smiled.

"Well am happy you have a new friend and someone you can talk to. I was getting tired of listening to all your shit." I said jokingly and he laughed.

"It's your job to listen to my shit." He replied.

"Yeah it is but am sure you find it easier to talk to someone your own age rather than me." I replied.

"You're not that old. Just ten years. You're like an older sister." He said making me smile.

"Am happy you see me that way Sam. So let's talk about something else? When was the last time you smoked?" I asked.

I heard him blow out air and I knew we were going to be here a while and sat back to listen to him. This is what I was meant to do. Make a difference in society by shaping the generation of tomorrow. Helping them find their path is one of the greatest feelings I can ever experience. It allows me to know that I matter to this kids life and to the society at large.

Sam was one of my many patients and just like any other kid he had dreams and ambitions. He wanted to be a football player for now and maybe become a sports journalist when he was older. Those were valid dreams because as his dad told me he was pretty good at the game. He had just lost his way a little due to poor friends and drugs. Now I just had to help him find his way back to the right path. It wasn't easy but I would try my best because first if all its my job and second I genuinely care about Sam.

"So that concludes our session for today. Anything you want to tell me or ask me." I said as we both got up from our sitted position and started stretching out muscles.

It ain't easy being seated in the same position for an hour and a half.

"Yeah. If my dad asks you out say no." Sam said taking me by surprise making me halt my movements and look at him.

"Why would you think that you're dad wants to ask me out?" I asked.

"He kept asking me all this weird questions about you when we were on our way here. It was very weird so he definitely wants ask you out. Please say no. I already see enough of you here, I don't need anymore of you at home too." He explained and I laughed.

It was just Sam and his dad. His mom had died a few years ago, having succumbed to the battle with cancer she had been fighting for a long time. I think father and son had just been relieved to see the most important woman in their lives finally stop suffering and live in pain.

"Sam calm down. I'd never date you're dad. He's too old for me and even if he wasn't it's against policy to get involved with clients or their family." I informed him and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Good I was worried there for a while."

"Don't be." I replied smiling warmly at him.

Before our conversation could go in any further there was a knock on the door. Looks like Sam's dad was here. I welcomed him inside and he came in with a smile in his face.

"Hello again Miss. Irungu, son."He greeted nodding at both of us. "How was the session?" He asked putting his hands on Gabriel's shoulders.

"It was good actually. We made quite the progress today. Didn't we Sam?" I asked the boy and he just nodded.

"Thank you for seeing us. Sam why don't you wait outside for a few minutes. I want to ask Miss. Irungu something." His dad requested.

Sam looked at me with an I told you so face and I just smiled and nodded at him encouragingly.

"See you next week Miss."

"Bye Sam. Remember what we talked about." I replied and he nodded before walking out.

"Well Mr.Njogu. I think I know what all this is about." I said looking at the nervous older man.

I wonder why I had that effect of people especially men. Was I too intimidating?

"You do?" He asked.

"Yes well Sam brought it up saying that you were going to ask me out." I started and but he interrupted me before I could finish.

"That sneaky boy. But what do you say?" He asked looking at me hopefully.

"Am going to tell you the same thing I told him. It's against the policy. If I started seeing you romantically I'd have to stop seeing Sam and we've made such good progress. You wouldn't want that would you." I asked playing the guilt card. It always worked.

"No of course not. Am sorry for bringing it up." He apologized and brushed it off. Told you it always worked.

"It's okay don't worry about it. Ill see you next week." I said wanting to quickly end this conversation.

"See you next week." He said and quickly walked out.

I exhaled audibly and looked around the room. Time to write my summaries, tidy up and go home. It has been a long day. I sat on my desk and began jotting all the needed notes down about my session with Sam. After that was done,I filed all of today's notes and tidied up the mess made today.

After all that was done I grabbed my jacket, bag and keys and headed out locking the door behind me. I then headed out of the building saying goodbye to the people I knew on the way out. The job paid decently enough so I had bought myself with the help of my sisters of course because there was no was I could afford such a car and my rent on my salary alone, a sleek matte black Audi. It was a beautiful machine, small and beautiful just for me. I unlocked my car and got in before starting the car and carefully backing out of the parking lot and soon enough I blended into the evening traffic on my way home.

An hour later I pulled up into my apartment building and parked it my allocated slot. I got out of the car, parked it before entering the building and walking up the stairs to the third floor. No need to use the elevator. I needed the exercise anyway having been couped up in my office all day.

When I got to my floor which had four doors I walked to the end of the hallway where my apartment was located, unlocked the door and got in. I took off my shoes and put my keys in the bowl by the door and walked past my living room and kitchen and into my bedroom.

I needed a long soak after the long day. My place was a two bedroom apartment with an open plan kitchen and living room. The master bedroom had an inbuilt closet and its own bathroom with a bathtub. The extra bedroom also had its own bathroom but it didn't have a bathtub.

I shed my clothes as I filled the tub with hot and cold water to provide the perfect mix. I had grabbed a glass of wine from the kitchen on my way in here so I just entered the tub with my glass in hand as I soaked in the scented soapy water full of bubbles.

I know what you're all asking. Where is Gabriel? I've been here ranting about my work and my patients but where is the man. Well honestly I don't know. I wanted to introduce you all to my life without Gabriel before you all start badgering me about it. He may have been gone from my life but he wasn't gone from my heart, I thought to myself as I played with the ring hanging between my breasts as it hung in a simple silver chain.

Yes I still had the ring and the helmet which I hung like a trophy over my bed. I alternated between wearing the ring on my right hand or around my neck. I couldn't bring myself to get rid of them. To be more honest I couldn't bring myself to get rid of the evidence of Gabriel ever being in my life. I still had pictures of him on all my social media platforms never having the heart to take them down. I still had a whole folder in my phone and laptop filled with pictures of him and us that I constantly went through. I knew it was stupid hanging onto a man that I myself had left but I couldn't help it. It's been almost three years since I last saw him and I can't seem to let him go.

The guys kept contact with him but he never asked about me so I never asked about him. What if he had moved on and I hadn't? The thought of Gabriel with another girl felt like a stab through the heart. I know I was the one who let him go but it doesn't mean I wasn't entitled to my feelings. I could feel however I wanted to so all of you stop judging me. I already beat myself up enough. I don't need it from anybody else.

Now let me just soak in here with my wine and my thoughts. It's been a long week and I needed to relax.

*******************************************

Vote

Comment

Share

Love@Lyssah.